-
Partswork 2 (Jan 2019)
-
21 Replies
-
initial post:
I wouldn’t normally write a post about a session I received here, but it was so powerful and such a deep way of using parts work that I felt it would be relevant to share and learn from!My friend A and I were receiving a dual-session in hopes to get at the root of an issue we had noticed show up between us but ultimately discovered was much deeper for us both. Basically, her and I have been interested in the same men a number of times, and usually one of us feels shame and shrinks back, while the other feels a bit more anger and frustration. We’ve been working consciously with this pattern for a WHILE now, able to laugh at it even and recognize that we were flip flopping between two sides of the same dilemma that we both shared at our cores… but what was the deeper need? 😉
What I came to realize was that this was NOT about men, and all about aliveness. If she felt good and alive, life force flowing and enjoying her life, and I felt cut off or blocked or stuck, then seeing her living openly would unconsciously make me angry and resentful, jealous really. Which would in turn trigger her fear of being rejected by a sister, turn into shame that she did something wrong, and ultimately a shut down of her life force. So then we’d both be shut down lol. The opposite would happen as well. (I’m so grateful to have friends in my life who can truly track relational patterns like this with me, in connection, and are so willing to work on them together, for the healing of us all)
ANYWAYS So Tobin first invites us to settle in, deep breaths into our sensation and experience, keep coming back to it. Then he brings a resource: he had us imagine we were in a temple, that we could really put down our heavy packs and rest with the phrase “we’ve made it” to help us continue sinking down.
He gave space for our “parts” to arise and have voice, without explicitly going into Partswork. Then he did two things I found really unique and useful that can be applied to Partswork! He called forth the one in each of us who knows this is what we are here on the planet to do. who understands already why we have chosen these lessons to learn, and what is needed to move through them. the one in us that is regal, royal, and able to stay with discomfort for the greater good of the system. In essence, he called forth the soul, not by naming it, but by describing it. This feels like a powerful tool in itself because we can invoke “parts” from our clients simply through intention and description, without having to have built a full mandala or without them needing to know the name or resonate with the term “soul” or anything.
Next, rather than jumping right into conversation, he invited us to stay with these soul/priestess parts and had them connect to spirit, to higher calling, to resource for what seemed like a long time (it was very somatic/shamanic so I didn’t have a good track of time). This seems like another great tool to use with parts. inviting the part that’s most available for resourcing to come use or create it for the system in that moment, experientially.
Once our whole systems were filled with this resource, he VERY SOFTLY invited in the “blip”, the part of each of us that had been triggered by the most recent event, and gave us each a chance to speak from that part WHILE maintaining connection with the priestess/soul part. Basically instead of integrating through conversation, the integration happened by holding both FEELINGS of the parts simultaneously in the body.
As I felt that angry part of me arise (and then turn into dissociation, as per the pattern), he reminded me what he had said earlier, that this is what my soul came to this planet for (to be alive, to feel). It was enough of a representation that my soul/priestess part came online so strong and was able to breath/feel/be with the uncomfortable feeling for my smaller angry part. The same happened for my friend, AND as we each shared the perspective and the alchemy of our priestess with our smaller parts, we both viscerally experienced the healing of the “other side of the coin” as well. So even though I was working my soul with the anger side of the coin, she was working her soul with the shame side of the coin, I also received a deep transmission that integrated my shame side of the coin, and vice versa. Amazing!
So he invited us into what he called the “hot spot”, that excruciating place right in between the two sides of the coin, that as soon as it gets touched is what shoots us out to one or the other reaction in order to play out a drama to avoid the real pain of the hot spot. Ya know what I mean? So then TOGETHER, we both sat in that hot spot, embodying the resourcing of the priestess/soul parts.
And that’s the last tool I want to mention, is the idea of bringing Partswork into couples work or relational work, (something I’m SO interested in), perhaps using a whole group of people’s similar parts to invoke a certain kind of group field together (calling all souls…), or that parts and soul can actually cross-link between people. Fascinating ideas to me.
In my own experience, the most magical thing happened (also a pretty standard brain re-connection experience lol). I began traveling back through time, seeing all these memories of times where I had been torn down by other girls and women for being in my aliveness, or I had been resentful/angry and torn down other girls and women for them being in their aliveness. Each memory flashed, and instead of hearing what I used to hear “Rachel’s such a try hard…” they were replaced with those same people saying “thank you for reminding me where I want to show up more in my own life” and I saw myself saying that to the women I had hurt as well. So it felt like I got to viscerally experience an obvious reprogramming of the brain, so much so that my cells were all vibrating in a new way. When we finished I felt absolutely present, yet I had been so present that the part of me that keeps track of past/future could hardly remember what happened. It was like coming back from a deep medicine journey feeling profoundly changed.
And just as a follow up to this, it also felt like the deeper need/peak experience that gave me a vision for HOW I want to go about walking up that hill everyday moving forward. Which very much aligns with the vision I was leaving our last intensive with… How do I bring myself fully back to aliveness, to feeling, to embodiment, to movement, to power, everyday? How do I Let myself go without judgement, and lovingly nudge ever closer to a real sinking into presence, EVERY DAY, in order to stay connected with my soul on a more regular basis? So far I’ve continued to let myself feel my hurting parts (child) in a new way, with a stronger voice of parent. (I actually had FATHER come online during this experience. up til now I only had a mother part and hadn’t even considered he was missing from the mandala (probably bc that’s how life was for me)). So that’s amazing too, to discover and potentially feel for the first time a new part that had previously been just a missing gaping hole.
Well I hope sharing this experience is helpful to others. I’d love to hear any other creative ways you’ve seen Partswork being used, or used it yourself! much love
-
Wow, Rachel, thank you so much for being willing to share your personal experience of being coached/guided. I do feel like this was helpful for me and that I learned from reading your post. The part about bringing in a resource and calling in the soul especially stood out to me. You said, “We can invoke “parts” from our clients simply through intention and description, without having to have built a full mandala or without them needing to know the name or resonate with the term “soul” or anything.” I love the image of GUIDING clients more, directing them to tap into the soul (without needing to use the word which can trip people up), and then working with the parts from there. I feel like I’ve mostly been working with parts the other way around, working with whatever part is coming forth (usually the most activated-least resourced) and then moving around to try to drop into more resource. This is such an exciting idea to me!
-
Me too! Actually I took this concept and have been melding it with something Katie Asmus taught us…. one of our resourcing tools she gave us was to imagine a person or animal who really cared for us being right there with us. Perhaps they said loving things or were just there as a calming presence. I realized this is totally the same thing as invoking (maybe even creating!? I don’t know?!) a resourced part.
One of my clients has spent her whole life in extremely abusive relationships, and she is freshly out of a physiologically manipulative experience and has very low self esteem. I’m working with her on building up her internal and external resources.
One day on the phone some part of her was speaking very unkindly, and I asked if she could imagine a friend or pet who really cared about her… she found a friend in mind, Alice. I then asked her to imagine Alice sitting on the couch with her and saying “I really care about you”. she did and she started crying and laughing and feeling immediately better. It’s still hard for her to say “I care about you” to herself, so she brings “Alice” with her to work, to be with her during the hard times at night alone, and even into meditation… Invoking this part has been quite a resource for her and it’s a pathway in toward compassion that is accessible for her.
-
-
Oh my gosh Rachel… what an amazing experience!!! It is very cool that you and your friend were open to work through this together… and even cooler that your parts were able to work together. It is such a learning experience to see how other perform in their practice. We learn from them, which continues to grow our own practices.
And… yes… feeling is healing. It is something that many many of us avoid. It hurts too much to get in there an address the issue/ source… but if we do, there is such growth from it.
I can definitely see you moving forward and using the couple/ group partswork in your practice. Gosh, you could really change lives and relationships. Best of luck! Thank you for sharing part of you and your experience. It was very mind opening.
-
-
Initial Post:
I’ve been working with this client weekly for about 5 months with one little break. She is an art therapist with a high level of awareness and clearly some understanding of the parts of her that are at play. She has many different parts that seem to have developed in response to life events, like a 4yo little girl, a 5yo lost child, 6yo depressed child, an angry teen, an overthinking mom, a mama bear, a researcher, a therapist, an adventurer, a logic monger. We have not done a formal mandala making together, though I think I may encourage that a little more since we seem to be working with parts a lot in our work together.
Just to give some context, my client had made some strides towards her goals of being grounded in herself, trusting her intuition, nature and source more. Until about 3 weeks ago, she had taken an opportunity to house-sit at a beautiful retreat like home and study with a monk up on an island in WA. This was a huge step for her to take, as it was her following her soul guidance and intuition towards a direction that felt edgy (she has historically put others first and lived in a scarcity schema). In my reflection, she was in the action phase of the stages of change, after having spent a few months in contemplation when we first began seeing eachother. However, some interference arose in her life in the past several weeks (divorce finalization, relationship challenges, weather interference) and she seems to have relapsed back into contemplation, and maybe even pre-contemplation at times. Some of her parts are now highly activated in the fight/flight response and it seems like we are back around the spiral working with resourcing and increasing window of tolerance.
The session I will focus on for this post is the most recent one we had, where the wounded child (not sure if it was 5 or 6yo) was highly activated, feeling slightly depressed and feeling shame. For the first part of the session, this part was talking and crying, expressing overwhelm and hopelessness at the feeling of abandonment from current relationship and at not knowing where her place is in the world (not knowing her intrinsic value or worth). Because of some of the partswork we’ve done previously, my client is aware of this part and resources by saying “I love you” to the part.
As my client went into the story of her latest relationship issue, I heard a shift in tone and energy as she said, “But, I am not going to say that I am not lovable. This is my life.” I paused my client and asked who it was that just said that. She was quiet for some time thinking about the question, and then realized it was her therapist part. This is a part we had not really explored previously. I reflected to her the difference in tone and energy I noticed and asked her how it felt to be the therapist, encouraging her to really become that part.
As she got into it, I had her talk about how she got into the right mind space to be able to see clients. She told me about 3 things she does to prepare herself to get into the part. By doing this she was getting more and more into the part herself. From here, I asked her to describe to me how she felt in her body. She said, powerful/empowered, clear, light, she can breathe, she feels at home in her body. At this point, I could feel the energy settling into a more grounded and resourced place.
Being that my client seems to have relapsed back into pre/contemplation and is experiencing highly activated states, it feels really important to me to focus for now on resourcing and safety. We talked explicitly about how the therapist is a great resource to tap into when she is feeling stressed and ungrounded, especially focusing on going through the 3 steps she takes to get into that part when seeing a client. We also reviewed other ways she can resource herself throughout the week, and then did a closing grounding at the end of the session.
One of the challenges I am facing here is having suggested several times that we might work together to develop a mandala and clearly map out all the parts, since this seems to be a helpful modality for my client. However, in most sessions we seem to be in a place of putting out fires or going into story a lot. Over the past 5 months, I have worked with the parts as they arise and have gotten to know a handful of them through interviewing and on the spot partswork. However, I know from my own experience how powerful it can be to see them laid out and work them on a mandala. For me, this has given me more of a felt sense of soul leadership. If we are to keep working with parts, this feels imperative to me to do with her. I think my challenge is in how to step into guiding that, rather than addressing what seems to be up most critically in the moment. I might be not tough enough on supporting my client to work with this intentionally. Not sure where the line is there.
I am eager to see how our next session is and how the therapist part may have a really helpful part to play within the system right now.
-
Mandy I always love reading about your sessions. Great job working with parts as they arise. My favorite was when you noticed her state change and she was able to identify the therapist part (which itself became a resource). It was cool to in some ways externalize that part and have her see what she does for herself to step into that part before seeing clients, and get to mindfully practice doing that for herself!
I like the edge for you and the question of do I “push” a little harder for what I think will benefit the client, or continue putting out fires and staying with what she brings? While I don’t know the answer, I did have a client once who regularly fell into a really weepy and hopeless part. for many sessions I followed that part and we worked with it together. After a while, once when that part came up, I was able to name “I’m noticing the pattern of this weepy part coming up whenever we begin talking about actions. Would you like to stay with this part now, or try something different?” I can’t remember how I worded it, but she was able to catch herself from then on, reparent that part quickly, and move on with our session after it was more clearly seen… Perhaps that middle ground for you is somewhere in naming your noticing to her, rather than holding back or telling her what should happen?
-
Yes, I love that. I think this is where long term coaching and partswork can really interface — when a pattern becomes so clear that I can then kindly name what I am seeing and give the client choice to continue as we have been, working with the part, or to try something different. So empowering! Thanks <3
-
-
Hi Mandy, Thank you for sharing. I love you have a long term client using parts work. I see your frustration… just putting out fires, and the “snap back”. It is hard to watch and see the back slide. But, we need to work with the client where they are.
I haven’t worked with the mandala, however, I am very interested in it. Your cohort seems to have really jumped into the Partswork and using the mandala. As I think about it, I think it would be beneficial for her to “see the big picture”, to see the relationship between her parts, to see the fluidity of her parts. The mandala seems like it would be a great physical reflective tool.
I think you could be strong about it. The river always takes the path of least resistance. Adding a little bit of resistance could be just what she is looking for and needing. Perhaps you can add that to your long term coaching map, introduce it in that fashion.
Awesome, I love seeing how you are really applying this work. Best of luck. You got this, you are a natural!
-
Mandy,
I love reading about how you incorporated the use of the mandala with this client! It sounds to me like you have been able to develop with her a strong foundation of knowledge for how it works and can be utilized, and she has a good idea of how some of her parts interact and come online. It’s really awesome that she is to the point where she can resource by sending love and care to particular parts who need it during sessions.
I totally echo your questioning around how to regularly work with the mandala when a lot of the session time seems to be filled with putting the fires that are arising in the present moment out. I’ve experienced this a lot with various clients. Something I started to realize was that, in order to best serve my clients, I can consistently scan for opportunities to bring a partswork experience up within whatever is coming out in the “fire”, but that it is not something I need to be utilizing frequently if the situation isn’t asking for it. I know it sounds simple, but letting it arise naturally seems to allow for the most impact for me and whomever I’m working with. It sounds like you have a ton of wisdom and discretion about when to bring it in, and when something else needs to take precedence.
-
-
Summary Post:
It has been a little challenging for me to really identify specifically what I learned in partswork 2 (above and beyond partswork 1). Though I clearly see my ability to guide a client through partswork expanding, it has been a challenge for me to identify specifics of what this module taught me. But actually reflecting on the posts here, and on the sessions I’ve had since the module, I am realizing how much each part is truly a unique individual in and of themselves — with their own circuitry, their own rhythms, their own love language, their own way of communicating and their own deeper needs. It has really been remarkable to hold a space for my client of truly and totally honoring with tremendous curiosity the individual that is the part displaying at any given moment. I think holding this kind of space, in and of itself, is an incredibly healing experience. Something all of our parts want and need is so often just to be seen and heard. I am really seeing how much partswork and long term coaching interface and compliment each other, and I am so excited to continue this work!
-
Summary post: In some ways I agree with Mandy’s summary, that it’s kind of hard to see what I learned in terms of working with parts above and beyond PW1. However my frame and understanding of what Partswork MEANS in the world is deepening…
I remember someone asking “do our parts change personality or approach based on the current context of the situation?” which essentially asks the question, “do our parts have parts?” For me, this is the quintessentially fractalular experience of consciousness.
We, each human, is one “part” of the human consciousness. we have desires, motives, and fears. we have allies and enemies. we have triggers and soothers and the more we connect to the “whole” of humanity, the more we find peace, compassion, and reconciliation.
They, each part, is one “part” of a mind’s consciousness. they have desires, notices, and fears. they have allies and enemies. they have triggers and soothers and the more we as coaches connect these parts to the “soul” of the person, the more they find peace, compassion, and reconciliation.
Basically, I use non-violent-communication and mediation often between couples or other relationships struggling to understand and trust each other. I also use NVC between parts. I’m starting to realize that some of my deepest gifts as a coach, in holding multiple perspectives and helping to locate understanding and integration, exists on multiple scales.
To understand neurobiologically that there are a multitude of differing personalities within each conscious mind starts to give real-life credence to a concept that ancient philosophers and mystics have been saying for some time, that I am in you and you are in me. What an utterly complex and beautiful and chaotic world we live in, especially as our minds become developed enough to self-reflect on it!
-
Initial post:
I recently had a few sessions working with a client who has a current practice working with clients struggling with addictions. His practice sounds amazing. He had some initial knowledge of working with partswork, but was still struggling with the full concept and how he could incorporated into his current practice.
It was not a lengthy conversation, however, it was found to be very beneficial. People tend to be aware of having parts… they have most likely used the phrase.. “part of me wants to go, part of me doesn’t”. But, unfortunately, it ends there. Not knowing why or what the parts are. As we know in this group, partswork can be a very powerful tool. However, I have found, just understanding the basics can be very beneficial as well.
Simply having the client list their parts… what their roles are, what drives them, what slows them, etc… this can give great insight into themselves.
After discussion with my client and explaining in greater detail, encouraging him to list his parts and review them… he had greater insight and understanding into himself. At the end of the call, he noted he was going to look into incorporating this into his current client practice. Not so much going into deep individual partswork, but, partwork to help understand our multidimensional selves to help understand why we do what we do, why we act the way we act and such. Perhaps a self reflection practice.-
Carrie,
I love reading about how you are utilizing partswork with this particular client! It sound like you were really able to make the process and practice a lot clearer for him. I hadn’t thought to frame the introduction in terms of what is “driving” or “slowing” any given part; I usually think of it in terms of wants and conflicts, but your frame seems to have an important distinction behind it where there isn’t so much an endpoint in mind, but more an observation of simply how the part behaves on its own naturally. Its also really great how you are giving your client a chance to work with parts in a way that isn’t so narrowly focused; he can use it for self-reflection with his own clients in a way that suits him.
-
Carrie, I echo your reflection of just having clients simply identify parts can be very enlightening. I had a similar experience with a client who was curious about partswork so I explained it the best I could and even shared the writing from Dr. Strachan with her to help guide her through the process. I was pleasantly surprised at how she committed to identifying a good handful of parts with pretty specific profiles of each one, along with animals to represent them. Doing that alone brought her some healing I think.
-
-
Post discussion:
I mentioned in my discussion in the long-term coaching that I have been inspired to integrate NCC and my shamanic practices. It is funny, I think partwork is so amazing and powerful, however, haven’t seemed to embrace it like some others in the group. I haven’t made a mandala or mapped it out. I have the list of my own parts, but those seem to be random on a sheet of paper. Perhaps, I just haven’t taken the time to organize it, I am not sure.
What has recently been revealed to me is, I have been working partswork, but in a different way, my way. In my shamanic practice, I use journey work and animal totems. I teach and instruct my clients that animals are little messengers to give us insights into issues we are dealing with. But, we also have long term animal totems that reflect who we are, why we are and what drives us/ slows us down, etc. How other animals can come and go as well, reflecting back onto ourselves for greater understanding. Also, nature scapes, landscapes – physical and meditative are very informative as well. It is a type of partwork, expressed through animals and nature.
Hey Michael.. I think I have found my way!
-
Carrie,
It is wonderful to hear that you are finding ways to integrate all that you have learned over the years and to give it back to your various students and make NCC your own. I remember a recent session I witnessed at the F2F where you coached and how animals were very prominent in the metaphors and conversations. Your client had a very meaningful experience. I appreciate the wide variety of skills and creative mind sets that you are fluent in. It’s wonderful that you continue to find and create ways to deliver your vision and share within your communities.
-
-
Initial post:
After this intensive, I found myself longing to work with parts with my clients so much more. Especially within the framework of long-term goal, I saw throughout this reintroduction just how profound and meaningful getting in touch with parts can be for clients to make crucial connections in their lives. This bridging of the gaps came up with a long-term client recently, and it proved to be the perfect chance to incorporate some partswork.
My client, whom I’ve mentioned in previous posts is a long-time friend and client, was grappling with two relational tensions in her life that seemed to be reaching a head. In one, she was noticing that she was being energetically swayed by a very strong-willed co-worker; in this situation, she was feeling inspiration and motivation as a result of this relationship, but she was also noticing a deep fatigue, and worry that she was adopting some negative behavior patterns she saw in this person. In the second situation, she was faced with how to best handle being reunited with her estranged sister after over two years of no contact. The relationship with her sister had some crucial similarities in that of the co-worker (her sister is also inspirational to my client, but also feels volatile because her energy can be erratic and explosive).
Throughout our discussion of the patterns that were emerging between both relationships, she started to notice that her empath part was being devalued, taken advantage of, and disempowered. This was the part that served her so well for so long as a peacekeeper in her family and at work. She noticed that if she was to keep this beautiful part healthy and sustainable, she needed to bring in reinforcement to protect it. We determined that she would need to spend some time with the careful, sometimes appropriately defensive boundary protector. She felt so happy to get some clarity on how these two parts are so essential to the system, and can really bring out the best in one another when harmoniously working in line.
Something that jumped out at me about the results from this partswork intensive as opposed to the first one was that I’ve really started to see how the practice can be used as minimally or primarily as a situation requires. With this client, we had already spent some time digging into her mandala, so in this session, it didn’t really require that we enter into a whole long parts-focused threshold. Instead, I was able to invite her to view the situation from a parts perspective, she was able to make some really beneficial connections about the past and how she could move forward, and the process felt complete very quickly. I think after the first experience with partworks, I had been operating under the assumption that we needed to spend a ton of time viewing the parts from every possible angle every time, and while that is probably beneficial when setting up the mandala, I’m seeing that this process can also provide lightbulb moments in very concise and efficient ways if the session asks for that. I’m excited to see how the partswork process continues to evolve in my understanding!
-
Hannah, it was interesting to see how “express partswork” operated for you and your client 🙂 Makes sense though. In dealing with emotionally charged issues we are probably only using one or two parts that we default to during times of tension, etc. and how quickly resolution can be found just by asking a client to see the situation from another parts perspective. Maybe the outcome isn’t so quick to come about for everyone in that way, but at least it creates a shift that already has some foundation because the client is familiar with their mandala.
-
-
Summary post:
As a few other people have mentioned about this partswork experience, I’m noticing overall a deepening of the practice over the time since we’ve begun working with it. This was clear in the intensive as well, and I’m feeling really grateful that we got the opportunity to work with this practice in such an intentional way for the second time. The intersection of long-term coaching and partwork felt the absolute perfect way to end the program, and I’m feeling all the more inspired to work with this as a main focus with clients moving forward. It’s been so beneficial for me to see and read how others have been using it in various coaching situations, and I just love how we are incorporating it in the ways that best serve our individual coaching styles!
-
My client has done some previous parts work and after listening to her story about what she’s experiencing in her life right now, I heard a few different parts come forward. I asked her if she would like to do some more in-depth partswork and she thought that would make a lot of sense for her right now. I invited her to revisit her mandala. She didn’t have it with her but she was able to recall most of them.
I asked her to go back into the story she shared thus far and we narrowed down what she wanted this session to be about. She wants to break off a toxic relationship but doesn’t know how and is afraid of the consequences. I invited her to take a few moments to breathe into the moment, ground herself, and tune into the parts laid out before her to see which ones are actively communicating. She identified “nurturer, defender, and lover.” She seemed surprised by these parts coming forward because, for her, they are very positive and active, and not related to the hurt she feels within this relationship she feels the need to let go of.
I invited her to step into one of these 3 parts that wanted to speak first. “Defender” was the first one to speak and she shared how she has worked tirelessly to stand up for the person whom she wants to let go of (we’ll call them person “A”). She described how person A was, at one time, a very involved and intense relationship. She’s had very deep, spiritual kinds of experiences with Person A and sees below the surface of their pain. Person A has made a choice to indulge alcohol as a coping mechanism and it has gotten out of control. Not to the point of physical abuse, but some mental and emotional abuse. “Defender” has been by person A’s side, always pushing past the abuse because she knows what person A has gone through and why they drink.
I asked Defender why she is really here. She paused and replied, “I’m here to protect the other parts.” “Do you feel like you are?” I asked. “No” she said. “Then who are you defending?” “Person A.” “Is Person A you?” “No.” What part is Person A most like?” “Wild Child” she responded (this was a previously unidentified part). I could see her body language change; she started to tighten up and close off. “Is that you Wild Child” I asked. “Yes.” “I’m so glad you’re here in all your wildness! I’d love to know more about you, please tell me about yourself Wild-Child.” “I’m a free roamer. Free to do what I want, when I want, and with whom I want.”
To spare the long narrative here, we got to the place in the session where Wild-Child and defender were able to have honest conversation with each other. Defender felt guilty for not standing up for Wild-Child, and Wild-Child was reluctant to be stood up for. Wild-Child has been a part of my client that she has not fully accepted, in part because she feels like she was never really given permission to speak her mind. Because of that repression she has withheld her own truth and has tried to overcompensate for it by defending the truth she sees in others.
Wild-Child was able to sever the blame she placed on her upbringing and stepped into a threshold of Wild-Childs deeper truth; that she is an autonomous being that understands where she comes from but realizes now that she has the choice to be wild in a way that gives her positive momentum forward. She experienced the wildness of nature, and that nature is also exposed and vulnerable. She experienced that truth as herself.
The relationship between Wild-Child and Defender was also healed and my client came to realization that she didn’t need to completely sever the relationship with Person A. Instead she needed to speak her truth, create boundaries, and create some space for now. Defender helped Wild-Child to create this structure to move about freely while also feeling protected.
I was really moved by how this session flowed. I feel like it really spoke the power of parts-work as a very effective tool. As at the intensive, I was better able to see how a part can move through the coaching process independently and allow the threshold in nature to speak to the deeper truth of each part and find healing with other parts. And even though we didn’t get into it, I could better see where in the brain these parts operate or have been hiding for safety. And it was fascinating to see how Person A was so much like a part of my client, and the kind of relationship she had was like an outward projection of an internal struggle.
That realization seems pretty significant for me because I’ve started looking more into my own parts in relationship to my outward relationships. It’s created a deeper awareness of self and human behavior, and it’s definitely something that will be at the forefront of my mind when clients express difficulties in relationships. In this particular circumstance with my client I found this quote from Roger Strachan’s Self-Soul-Spirit to be especially curious, “As a consummate force of life, Soul is not involved in many of life’s mundane tasks, though it could enter into any interaction if so moved. Humans often differentiate between activities of companions and those of Soul mates. The Soul is creative and contemplative and seeks to find significant purposes for life choices. Many people never seek to uncover or understand their Soul, content with living a Self-directed life, acting on impulses and reactions, and making mindful proactive decisions and choices given the information at hand.” My client has stated before that she believes Person A is a “Soul-Mate.” Actually more than that, from the experiences she has described they have encountered each other on a psychic level and has gone as far as stating they are “twin flames.” Yet within all of her description of these profound experiences, she only ever describes her side of it. Obviously Person A is self-destructing in many ways and if they did experience something profound, it has not altered their behavior. However, because my client feels like are basically one soul sharing two bodies, this has significantly affected her decision making. This also challenges Strachans notion that “Soul is unique. Just as no two selves are alike, no two Souls are alike. Each Soul is housed and maintains its functioning within the body.”A lot of interesting dynamics at play. But I am willing to hold space for all of it and allow my client to move through their own space without impeding notions or believes from my end. I want to challenge my clients using their own language and beliefs; not to manipulate, but to help them determine what is true for them. If I’m hearing opposition between parts, it is important to reflect that back to them so that can make space for what is true. And in that space they are better able to receive from nature.
-
Summary Post:
I definitely was reawakened to the power of parts work over the intensive, as well as working more with my personal mandala and seeing how effective partswork can be in coaching. One of the things I found most interesting during the intensive was the brain mapping of where my parts were located in my brain. I haven’t dove into that more but it’s something I often think about. With the understanding that our parts are written in our DNA it makes sense that they don’t all operate in the same spaces. This gives me a clearer understanding of how the communicate and operate. NOt to mention what kind of wisdom and knowing those parts might possess if they have been passed down through generations. It’s kind of crazy to think that some of my parts could be, and probably are, ancient!
What stood out to me the most over the session with my client is that there is a good chance that the reason we don’t effective communicate with other people is because we are actually unciously trying to communicate with our other parts, but trying to do it through them. I don’t know how often that’s true, but it definitely turned out that way for my client. She unciously saw a part of herself in another and was desperately trying to make a relationship work. But it couldn’t work the way it was going because the part of her that she was projecting on Person A wasn’t even identified. I feel like this is whole other area of partswork, and maybe I’m off base with it, but it has definitely raised some questions.