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Participate in the Online Discussion-Guiding through Grief (April 2019)
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24 Replies
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Initial Post
Grief was fully present with the practice client I met with just before this module, though I didn’t recognize it at the time. Knowing more now, I will approach subsequent sessions with much greater awareness than I may have otherwise.
This client sought coaching to discover her life purpose and to decide on a new business. Before diving into that, I had the intuition to start off slowly. She seemed a bit ungrounded since she had rushed to arrive on time. I invited her to take a few deep breaths, then asked her to set an intention and we lit a candle.
She had pulled an oracle card prior to coming and brought it to show me. The card instructed her to go into the woods, gather natural objects and sit against a tree. Using sacred questions, we started there.
Almost immediately, she dove into all the reasons why she can’t do what she wants, how she feels hindered by her husband/business partner, and how they are likely to lose the business because of her husband’s actions. She revealed wanting to get divorced, but feels she can’t because of children and the fact that all of their money is tied up in the business. Plus, her husband has been diagnosed with a mental illness which he denies, further complicating her situation. She wishes she’d made different choices in her life.
I asked if she remembered a time in her life when she felt as she wants to feel now. She quickly recalled a time and then began to cry. She relayed that she was single and making art. She came to recognize that she has closed down parts of herself that mean the most to her and she wants to regain access to them.
At that point, I could see that she was experiencing deep pain, though now I recognize it as grief. She identified herself as an introvert who has had to be strong all of her life. Sensing that she needed time to just be with that realization, I focused on gently holding space as she tuned into her pain.
After a mountain of tissues, she shared that she’s never had the opportunity to cry like that, nor to recognize how much of herself she has lost. Since it was almost time to end the session, I reminded her of the card she had brought. I shared, that time in Nature and self-care, might be valuable. We talked about how the card prescribed picking up objects and she correlated it to the lost parts of herself. She decided to spend time in Nature considering the parts of herself she wants to reclaim before our next appointment.
Looking back over this session and recalling what I learned in this module, I see the significance of her many losses. It will be important to honor grief with sensitivity and without rushing toward her initially stated goal of finding purpose and a new business. I remember Kim sharing that it’s often not wise to start new things when in grief. I believe this is true when action’s purpose is to escape the painful feelings, either consciously or unconsciously. I’ve certainly done that myself and can see examples of it in others I know.
As we were advised by Kim, I intend to keep the door open for her to recognize grief while making sure that she is resourced. I intend to help her see things she may have overlooked, with the awareness that grief is not something to “heal from” nor “fix.” What stood out for me in this module is that we experience grief every day since life contains an ongoing series of losses. Grief can be present even without physical death.
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Oh Wow Elizabeth! So many awesome things happening in that session! First, I love how you grounded her upon arrival and set the tone for the session (something I watched you do with Amanda in April). I also found her pulling the oracle card before she came to be very significant. Is that something you had her do or she did on her own? I also liked how you brought it full circle at the end of the session by reminding her of the card, and then noticed how she would use it as her integration moving forward. Some really cool Nature connection! I’m on the same page as you as far as not recognizing ‘grief’ in other ways besides death, prior to that intensive. It was really helpful, and understanding that we experience grief in so many different ways and so often, is somewhat overwhelming, but our new awareness of it will be so helpful to many of our clients. Your use of sacred questions and more than likely POWERFUL questions, opened up a doorway to many feelings and a sense of awareness that perhaps she had packed away for several years! You appeared to do a great job of holding space for her, recognizing the grief and loss of PARTS of herself, and slowing things down for your client by allowing her to focus on all these things that are blockages for her. Awesome Elizabeth!
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Elizabeth, even though you didn’t perceive your clients grief at the time, you still seemed to connect with her like you did…”she shared that she’s never had the opportunity to cry like that, nor to recognize how much of herself she has lost.” The fact that you helped to provide and support space for your client to weep and recognize loss is HUGE. You didn’t have to force anything or guide her a certain way; you just listened deeply and went with the flow. Those are highly valuable traits to have and you naturally have them.
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Thanks for your kind words, Lauren! I had not recommended to the client that she pull an oracle card. Though, I do love them and use them myself, I have not introduced them to clients. This certainly illustrates the many doorways we have for working with clients.
You mentioned PARTS. What a very powerful way to take clients deeper. I find the opportunity arises in most sessions to take that path, though I don’t always. I’m curious how you use Partswork in your sessions. In general, I’ve found that to delve fully in to parts (having client speak from various parts in first person, for example) takes some explanation which there isn’t always time for if it arises late in a session. I feel that Partswork can easily lead to long-term coaching.
I’m glad you brought it up because now I’m pondering how it applies to grief. I love how we learned that grief is not to be fixed but simply allowed to be. Seems to me that, depending on the source of grief, Partswork could be useful as the client emerges from it. Or, if ongoing grief, perhaps in examining ‘why.’
For example, a couple of weeks ago I participated in a 4-day, facilitated, co-creation gathering where a grief process and ceremony were offered. Many of us realized how deeply we grieve the state of the world. From destruction of Nature to human suffering. I’ve found myself pondering how to live with this collective grief while maintaining a high enough vibration to contribute to improving it. I’ve been learning a lot about myself in the process. I don’t know that there’s a definitive answer, but it seems to come back to allowing the grief, even embracing it, because the deeper I can feel that, the more fully I can also experience it’s opposite. I’m curious what we’ll experience working with clients and their grief. I hope we will all continue to share and learn from one another.
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This was a session with a new client who was curious to try coaching because she reports feeling “stuck.” I informed her more about the intent of coaching and how it’s different from other therapeutic modalities. I also let her know that as we progress and uncover the possible reasons why she feels stuck, I may suggest that investigates those other therapeutic modalities. From our initial contact I sensed there may be some unresolved issues with her parents, but since that was not explicit she may be in a pre-contemplative state about some of her family dysfunction. I didn’t express this to her, but simply let her know that often times we feel “stuck” because there are parts of us that want to move on while other parts need resolve that may, or may not, find resolution in a coaching relationship. She seemed to grasp my intent and expressed gratitude for being honest with her that coaching might not be exactly what she needs right now. I shared that our session(s) might not help her get unstuck, but can help her decide what other decisions to make on her path of moving forward.
My client kept repeating the phrase “it’s just the way I’ve always been” throughout the telling of her story, and blaming herself for all the trouble in her life because of behavior/personality that she seems to think she has little control over. I reflected that phrase back to her and noted that in a short period of time she repeated it often. I then asked her if she thinks she will always be the way she is. I felt this was an important question for myself too because if she were to say “yes” then a coaching relationship would most likely not be beneficial to her right now. She took some time with my questions and what I reflected back to her and could see that she was getting emotional. She began digging into her childhood and darting around various memories. I paused her momentarily and invited her to engage with nature for a moment.
She stepped outside and I simply invited her to observe the area around her with her senses and reflect what she is experiencing. This quickly helped her ground and get out of her head. I asked her what her favorite season is and she answered “Summer.” “Why Summer?” I asked. “Because all my best memories are of spending the Summers with my grandparents at their cottage with my cousins.” “Was every Summer the same?” I asked. “In some ways, yes. Of course we would always talk about previous Summers and share in the memories. But as we all started to grow up, we changed and so did the way we related to one another.” “Was that positive or negative for you?” I asked. “Definitely more drama in our teen years, but I think we grew closer…especially when our grandma passed. Grandma was the glue that held us together and she made us promise that after she was gone we would all stay close.” Tears were filling my clients eyes at this point as she reflected on her relationship with her grandmother. Initially the intent for myself was to engage the concepts we learned over the Brain 2 module with my client, but as I learned in the grief module, grief is always present in some way and when it arises I want to honor it and make space for it.
I simply asked my client if she wanted to talk about her grandmother. I was a little hesitant to ask at first because this was a Zoom meeting and I didn’t want her to feel like she wasn’t supported enough to share more. She said with Summer approaching it is hard for her to talk about her grandmother, but then she thought about something her grandmother would always say…”acorns don’t stay buried.”
She described how her grandparents cottage was tucked back in the woods with beautiful big oak trees and how much her grandmother loved them. I asked her what “acorns don’t stay buried” meant to her and she said “darkness isn’t a place to hide, it’s a place to grow.” I could feel the energy shift when she said that and I even got a little teary eyed. I shared my reaction with her and we just sat in silence for a minute. “Your grandmother was a very wise woman. What would your grandmother say to you now?” I asked. “I guess I’ll never know because she’s gone,” she replied. “All I have to remember her now is the oaks I planted in my yard in her memory.” I invited her to take some time and go sit under an oak she felt attracted to holding the question “what do I need to know?”
When she came back her energy seemed much different and she shared that as she sat on the ground and asked that question, a strong wind came up and she felt an acorn hit her on top of her head. She was stunned because acorns shouldn’t be dropping this early in the year. She said the words “it isn’t your fault” came to her and she broke down in tears. She said her body felt like it had collapsed into itself and then burst back open! At this point our time was coming to an end. I didn’t want the sensation of this experience to be overshadowed by anything else, so I asked her what she thought she could do to integrate this experience and new insight into her life. She said that she felt attracted to bury the acorn that bopped her on the head. I asked her if there was any kind of mantra she could say as she buried it and could take with her into her everyday. She replied “my shell is cracked open and I am ready to grow.” I reflected this mantra back to her and said that I think our next session together is going to look very different!
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Kent:
So awesome!!! And as Elizabeth said, ‘all through Zoom.’ Wow! I loved the connection to nature with her own words/mantra and quote from her grandmother whom had passed. In relation to her mantra of ‘My shell is cracked open and I’m ready to grow,’ I thought about how cool it would be to create (or have her create, since it was long distance), an acorn essence. She could collect acorns and set them in water for some time and then strain that water off to use when she repeats her mantra! So great! I hope you continue to get to work with her.
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Amazing work, Kent! Taking your client from “stuck” to cracked open, in Nature, via Zoom. Wow! I’m impressed with the way you followed your instincts and how well that worked. Sounds like she had a truly profound breakthrough. Helping her add the mantra seemed very powerful. Well done!
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Summary Post
“We’re in constant grief because dying is happening all the time,” said Kim. I love the awareness that grief mirrors the cycles of nature and is perfectly natural. Following this module, I discovered my own grief and experienced a shift.
Just after our time together, I attended a retreat organized by a mentor I’ve studied with. Fifteen of us were invited because of our shared interest in Nature connection. The intention was to discover what might emerge collectively and individually. A facilitated deep dive into grief was a fundamental part of our exploration.
One of the pre-gathering prompts was the question “What breaks your heart?” My answer was “Our collective inability to live in harmony with Nature and one another.” I reflected on how this has played out in my life, realizing that it’s been an underlying sadness I hadn’t identified as grief.
I came to understand that this unprocessed grief was creating a pessimistic view of the future. I was focusing on the perils of climate change while imagining a bleak environment for future generations. We were asked to bring images that represent what breaks our hearts. Mine were of animals suffering from humanities’ unconscious behavior.
During the four days, rituals and ceremonies were offered that allowed us to process the grief. Space was held for us to be with it and to delve into the pain as much as we were ready to. Fortunately, I remembered, from Worden’s Four’s Tasks of Mourning, that avoiding grief can lead to carrying the pain throughout life. So, I dove in, even though this was somewhat uncomfortable for me to do in a group.
Afterward, I felt re-energized and able to move forward WITH grief, not in spite of it. For me, this is a subtle but profound distinction. Grief can be ever-present, given that we’re constantly in transition. When I allow, accept, and embrace it, I feel grief more fully than when I simply push through or deny it.
The more I feel into the pain of grief, the greater the joy I can feel as well. An intention that arose from the retreat was “To live life fully so that I can look back without regrets.“ Embracing grief will play a key role. Looking back over my notes before writing this post, I found things I’d marked on our Dimensions of Grief handout that have now diminished. I’m inspired to choose activities that are positive and light, versus ones that are fear based and heavy. Prior to this, unprocessed grief made that more challenging.
The issues I’m grieving will always be in my awareness and cause me sadness, but they’re no longer hindering me from living in a higher vibration, as they were before. I’m able to take a bigger picture, longer view of life. This provides comfort, knowing that everything in Nature cycles, and that our current situation is just a phase. Whether humans survive or not, I believe that Nature is eternal and we’re on an upward spiral of conscious evolution. Awareness of grief helped lengthen my perspective.
For me, processing grief provides freedom. Though, according to Worden, this can be challenging because we often hinder it. Either because society says we don’t need to process it or, from choosing to avoid, minimize or escape it.
As I ponder how all of this relates to working with clients, I know I will be much more attuned to the presence of grief. I suspect that many clients may be in grief because people who seek out coaching are often in some sort of transition which inherently contains a loss. I see the value of creating space for them to become of aware of it. To assist in that, I plan to review our Life Transitions handout regularly to remind myself of the vast array of transitions in a lifetime.
Grief awareness has helped me slow my coaching process even more as I continue to hone my deep listening skills. I love this passage by Roshi Joan Halifax that Kim provided: “Listening means that we have stabilized our minds so completely that the person who is speaking can actually hear themselves through our stillness. It is a quality of radiant listening, of luminous listening, of vibrant listening, but it is also very still.”
Radiant, luminous, and vibrant, yet still. What a beautiful presence to provide for someone in grief. Or in any situation at all. I’m reminded by this module how little we have to say to be of service. It’s our full presence that can be felt most of all.
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Summary Post:
I think in supporting the grieving process, it’s more about who I am versus what I do or say. And that’s not something that can be taught, only practiced and lived out. There are no rules to grief and no time frame. Most people don’t know how to deal with grief so it gets handled in kind of a messy way, or not at all, and leaves those grieving in a chronic state of tension. And just like breathing, if grief is held and their is no release then their is no life. I don’t think we ever really “get over” death and the accompanying grief because it’s literally in our lives every waking moment whether we’re conscious of it or not. What I’ve learned is that when I am working with someone who is consciously grieving, I can be present with them and hopefully help them take another breath.
What I appreciated the most about Kim taught us is that whatever we are doing when we are grieving is EXACTLY what we are supposed to be doing. So if we’re crying and can’t talk, then we cry and don’t talk. If we’re numb and shut down, then we say it’s okay to be numb and shut down. The permission to grant ourselves and others that truth is invaluable and so opposite of what we’ve been taught or our own inclinations to help. To simply give someone space and hold that space for them in love is truly a gift of presence.
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Elizabeth, this session speaks so highly on how you show up as a guide but also a human being. From my own experience being guided by you, I know exactly how gentle and nurturing you are. I believe it’s inherent in you. After reading your post, your ability to provide a safe space for your client seems like it created an urgency in your client to feel grief in a way they may never have before. Although you may not have been aware that it was grief she was dealing, you created a pathway that your client was able to walk down, recognize the grief in her life but also really feel the impact of what had happened. In doing so, she said she hasn’t cried like that and now since she has, there’s so much room for growth and empowerment of creating a different possibility of her life.
I also really appreciate that you asked her about a time in her life she felt the way she wanted to feel and she mentioned when she was single and making art. You created a doorway for her to bring that sensation and true sense of self back into her present life. Also, great job tying in the nature connection. Although you did not provide her the oracle, it seems there was an inherent connection between the two of you through nature of self expression. Great work! -
Kent, I got goosebumps reading your passage. This is a profound coaching session and I want to acknowledge how present you were with your client. Even though you were on Zoom, you were able to create a nature connected space in which created a conversation between your client and her grandmother. It really is incredible to read that she sat under and oak tree and an acorn fell on her head! That’s beautiful, and the way you kept her present moment with powerful questions guided her create some closure (potentially) with grandma but also within herself.
You kept her in present moment, constantly checking in and even shared that what she was going through hit a nerve with you as well. When Derek was teaching us Gestalt, he said that he’ll tell his clients that what they said had an impact on him and that there’s nothing wrong with sharing that with the client. I also love how you were able to go into threshold and having your client integrate a mantra in her life that’s so prevalent to her grandmother. I’d love to know how your next session with her goes! -
Initial Post
One of my dearest friend’s parents got divorced when she was a child and it was very messy. There was the custody battle which her parents were not shy of discussing their hatred of one another to her, going back and forth from each of their houses, dad getting remarried and blending families and mom dealing with depression and other mental health issues. All of this has trickled into her adult life, her adult relationships and she is cognizant that she needs some form of “help.” I invited her to have a session with me and although we are very close and I’m close with her dad and the blended family, I invited her to have a session with me. We sat down and she spoke about all the things that have upset her (things I already did know because I was there for a lot of it when we were kids and teens) but just allowed her space to talk about everything she was going through. At multiple points in the session she kept apologizing for going on about these things, and I kept assuring her that there is nothing wrong with this. This is why we’re doing a session. She continued and started talking about her current relationship and how she doesn’t feel like she’s enough for her partner and when into story as to why she though that way.
I invited her to take a moment and breathe a few deep breathes. I recognized that she had not had closure on anything happening in her life but also didn’t want to tell her that since I’m not there to give my input (can’t lie, it was hard not to!) When she opened her eyes there were tears and I asked what was coming up for her. She said that she thinks she needs therapy, which I responded “why?” She said it’s because she feels like there’s something wrong with her. I reflected that back to her and she started giggling. When I asked why she was laughing she said it’s because she felt uncomfortable with being so vulnerable. She then mentioned that she constantly is trying to please her boyfriend and she doesn’t feel it’s reciprocated and she’s always doing something wrong.
I invited the possibility into her consciousness that there is nothing wrong with her, just she’s grieving over a childhood that was complex and complicated. She stayed silent for a moment and said she’s never thought of grief like that. At that point maybe I put my two sense in (thoughts??) I asked her if there’s anything we can create for her to feel unapologetic for the way she is in this moment. She asked for a hug (which I love doing!) but wanted to make sure what our intention was in doing so. I asked why do you want a hug? She said because I provided her an avenue of love and space which she did not get from her folks. Then I asked if we can role play and pretend I’m on of her parents (she picked dad) and to hug me and let me know what you’re going through. As we did this she cried and said she was angry and she loved me and she was hurting. We stayed embraced for a few minutes as I told her that I love her (as dad). After a few minutes we came out of it and our session time was pretty much up. I asked how she felt and she said she’s never had this realization before. I asked her if there was something she can do to integrate what just happened into her life and she said “write it down.” She then grabbed a notebook and started writing down her feelings about everything. I sat in silence and acknowledged how strong she was. This was a powerful session for me, as we are good friends and it hurt me to watch her hurt, but ultimately worked to not project my friend self into her experience.-
Amanda, What a great example of showing up in the moment with your client in such a powerful and intentional way! You knew that to “make explicit” the intention for the hug was an important piece of your client understanding her own motivations and where these come from– external validation that she didn’t receive and still doesn’t feel–I’m enough. And you took this meaningful step further into the role play that brought out important revelations. You helped her to gain clarity and have more pieces of her own puzzle to move forward with. Appreciating you following your internal cues and wisdom combined with what you’ve been learning at EBI and especially in the Gestalt and Grief modules.
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Summary
Grief is something that has not logic to it. Although in my post I mentioned that my client was grieving and she had that realization, that didn’t take away the fact that before she “knew” she was grieving, she was still grieving. That happened to me during our grief sessions. I had always felt some way but didn’t understand what it was – oh, I was grieving! I think the Brain Change and Grief were in the same week because our bodies can inherently be going through some intense feelings and our brain does not “understand” what it is. Grief is not logical but putting the two pieces of realizing what you are feeling is what we call grief, I feel it allows us to surrender to what our bodies have been telling us. And this isn’t just grief, this is everything in the world. We are knowledge and learning machines, always wanting to know, understand, figure out, and our bodies feel things that our brains may not comprehend. It’s incredible that when we discover what is happening we are able to nurture ourselves. Grief has no limits or boundaries and I believe that is a beautiful way to be human. Nonetheless, dealing with grief is challenging and I think that if we are able to nurture our grief and surrender to it without judgement or resentment, we learn to live with it and move through it. It doesn’t have an expiration date and it may never go away but we can nurture it and work to heal it. -
Initial post:
What surprised me about this topic is how broad the definition of the word grief actually is, how narrowly I have historically defined it and that it is omnipresent. This intensive was a revelation to me on multiple levels.
Grief can be individual and/or a collective experience. Grief doesn’t have to be about the end of something/someone; it is essentially about loss. We grieve all day every day about something.
When I think about the destruction of the rainforest, the disenfranchisement of so many groups of people, the state of the world politically – I had never considered these as being able to be defined as grief, yet I do mourn them, and more. I feel anger about these situations which is likely my way of avoiding the deep pain that grieving would bring about.
As I reflect, anger is a default reaction for me, to avoid feeling pain; I definitely have lots of boxes inside me which are locked and full of pain and disappointment! -
Client experience:
I’m thinking of a dear friend of mine who I formally coach on a bi-weekly basis. She is successful professionally, is an amazing human and a divorced mother of 3. I know a lot of her personal story around her divorce and that she continues to grieve to this day. However, during coaching, she is resistant to allow this grief to rise and I continually try to find ways to, gently, allude to it.
As a lawyer, she has a very structured mind so trying to bring her personal life into the coaching sessions, which has deemed to be focused on her professional persona, is very challenging. Because I know her well, I strongly suspect that the reason behind her divorce is affecting her self confidence in every aspect of her life, both personal and professional. Her ex recently remarried which triggered many feelings in her and a deep sense of loss and grief, not for him but for the loss of the family unit she so valued.
As I read thru’ all of your posts with your clients, it seems that the clients, while not clearly experiencing grief, per se, that grief seemed to be right under the surface, ready for you to crack it open. With my client, over the years, she’s buried it and so trying to get to it is a challenge. However, I wonder how I might gently introduce it as a way to open that box and see if there are any connections between that loss and her current challenges with self confidence.
I meet with her later this week and am interested to try to find a natural way to introduce this topic.-
Hi Wendy, I am appreciating your reflection on where this client IS in her grief and loss process. I also appreciate you trying to figure out a way to introduce it– in service of creating a space for her to acknowledge and be with her grief in, maybe, a new way. I think your straight up question you pose above is a good one (about the relationship to loss and self confidence). I wonder if it could be as simple as that. Another opportunity for all of us as coaches is tuning into those places where our clients are skating over an emotion repeatedly. We do this as humans: try to bypass that super uncomfortable feeling. In Mindsight, Daniel Siegel points out that in “the presence of a caring, trusted other person, one who is attuned to our internal world, is often the initial key to widening our windows of tolerance” (pg 138). He goes on to expand upon how this “resonance circuitry” helps us to learn how to regulate our internal state, that being present with someone helps them to open into the possibility of feeling safe with these uncomfortable emotions (138-139). A piece of the goal as coaches is to help clients to “widen their window of tolerance” so they can show up to their lives, emotions, challenges and dreams with more flexibility and empowerment. All of this to say, that along with the powerful question — remembering that your being present to her grief feeling state could also be an effective way create a space for feeling witnessed and, then maybe, a shift for anything that is ready to organically change, according to your client’s individual grief timeline. I hope that adds in a little something to ponder. How does it land? 🙂
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Response to Kent:
First – the image you painted of her getting ‘bopped’ on the head by an acorn had me laughing.
Second – WOW! What an incredibly impactful session and what courage you displayed by, while on zoom, having her leave the session to go out into nature, reflect and then come back to you – that’s so intuitive and such a gift! I wonder how I might ‘borrow’ this technique for my own sessions; I often struggle with the fact that I’m coaching people over zoom in a conference room and how I can incorporate nature into these sessions.
It’s so interesting as I was at an offsite last week and we came up with an image of an acorn which is buried underground, becomes a sprout as it breaks thru’ the earth’s surface and then becomes a tree. Her description of the acorn living in the dark and then breaking free to become the tree is profound. I wonder how far you could take that analogy with her?
I also appreciated how you were able to incorporate Partswork into this. It is so clear that it is directly relevant; how else would we be able to function if the whole of us was overcome by grief? That’s how modern day society has conditioned us though – to keep going while just a part of us suffers and how unhealthy is that and how little we are honoring the grieving process by denying that suffering. -
Response to Elizabeth:
This struck me ““What breaks your heart?” My answer was “Our collective inability to live in harmony with Nature and one another.” I reflected on how this has played out in my life, realizing that it’s been an underlying sadness I hadn’t identified as grief.” It resonates with what I had also understood to be simply sadness and anger, not as grief – that broad meaning of the word.
I happy that you have been able to find a way to move forward WITH grief instead of in spite of it and that it is providing you with a freedom to be more optimistic. I must say I am envious of that as I still think that I avoid my grief because I’m not sure how to process it on a daily basis with all the wrongs which are being done to innocent people and animals.
As you guided your client, what humility you demonstrate in recognizing your own limitations in realizing that someone is grieving without necessarily presenting as grieving and how you created self awareness around how you show up will change as a result of this understanding – you talked of slowing down. I am reminded of the imperativeness of our presence as guides not as directors of someone’s experience, our role as witness and how critical it is that we meet our clients where they are at.
I wonder if, since you have written this, you have experienced anything different in your own presence of sense of stillness while coaching? -
Summary post:
As I mentioned in my initial post, the broad definition of grief was a revelation to me which has provided me with a degree of self-love and patience which I didn’t have for myself before. Also, my approach to coaching people thru’ challenges will now be different as I have a more complete understanding of the word grief.
We ultimately have a choice for how we live our lives and the degree to which we embrace grief and give ourselves permission to feel it fully. However, it would also be a disservice to others if we were to allow grief to become our focus. To be clear, I’m speaking as someone who, fortunately, has not experienced the loss of someone very close to me so I’m speaking in more general terms. Being human, now, is very challenging and we need to choose to be consumed by world affairs or to be informed but not burdened.
Setting aside any judgment as to what grief is to each person will be critical as I serve my clients.
