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APNC Spring/Summer 2019 Lesson 3:1
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9 Replies
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July 29th, 2019; Genesee Park, Evergreen. 10:00am. 80 degrees, blue sky, calm air. This day I meet with ‘Tom’ whom has been a ‘Rewilding’ client on and off for almost 2 years. We had not met in months when he recently contacted me asking for an outdoor session. Standing in a wooded picnic area, we began transitioning out of our domesticated minds by observing, listening to and feeling the surrounding environment. Once settled a bit he began a thoughtful investigation into why he wants to resume our rewilding sessions. As I listened and reflected, I was aware of listening for his ‘need’ and what was driving him to live a more nature-integrated life. In the dialogue it seemed he was attempting to come up with a question to ask me regarding how he could blend nature into his compartmentalized daily living. I encouraged him to form a strong question in his own words, which he took some time to do. Then, I set him up for a wander so he may ask his thoughtful question to the visible life and invisible forces surrounding him. We discussed the role a conscious question has in being able to recognize answers when they present themselves.
Without engaging his intellect too much, I described what wandering is, various ways of wandering and offered some guidelines. I encouraged him to slowly turn his body 360 degrees around and sense the direction he feels a pull toward. I also offered him an experiment of holding his arms and hands out as an antenna for increasing sensitivity of presence or pull. Then he was on his way. While he was wandering I maintained a sense of him and a prayerful presence. He returned about 30 minutes later and we informally processed his experience with the sacred questions. He seemed strengthened and confident in his ability to tune into his body for direction, and when and where to pause. Tom walked me through stages of his observations and teachings, somewhat surprised at how his receptivity in nature offered insights or messages about ordinary life challenges – such as with money and finances. There were a number of such downloads he received, and yet he summed them up into: Show up (in nature), Slow down, Be receptive, and Trust what I’m given. We further discussed realistic and behavioral ways of implementing some of his insights as well as the societal biases and personal ‘snapbacks’ that may keep him from integrating the rhythms of nature into his life. It was both an embodied and thought-provoking few hours, of which we will continue next week in another session.
I am learning in such sessions how the process and stages of ‘ceremony’ come quite naturally and hold an easy flow. I am learning how to lead by following the client. Thus far that occurs through deep listening, choosing what and how to reflect their explicit content and implicit messages, and following a process whereby they acquire grounding and insights through their own body and nature. This part of leading by following feels difficult to articulate, and I want to play with that more.-
I love how you discussed possible societal challenges and personal ‘snapbacks’ he might face and ways to navigate those difficulties. It sounds like you helped him have an experience, discussed what he learned, and supported him in finding ways to apply what he realized. I’m inspired!
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Kimberly, I love what you did “orienting” him through the wander process and helping him feel a direction of pull. I think anyone who hasn’t done this before can struggle with just being left to go somewhere if they aren’t really feeling a direction. These are great little exercises that I can see aiding a client. Thanks for sharing!
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Not yet having a profession where I get to coach or guide other people, this was my first experience in an “official” coaching role. I was on vacation back home in Vermont last week and chose my Sister as my practice client because, since my involvement with EBI over the past 8 months or so, she’s taken an interest and often says she needs my guidance in her life. I found myself nervous in the days leading up to this time together. Everything I’ve been doing and will continue doing over the next year and a half or so will be getting myself into a place where I can do this in a professional capacity. I think there was almost more pressure with it being a family member because, not only did I want to help her, I also wanted to make her proud and show her what I’ve been learning. We chose a spot close to her home for the ceremony and I reviewed my notes for the 100th time on how to conduct it,adding in some of my own pieces for the beginning (surrender breaths and engaging sensory awareness). She brought a part of her life to the ceremony that I had hoped she would, although I didn’t plan for anything in particular. We began slowly walking on a trail that would lead us to a more suitable area for the wander later on. I let her speak about what she wanted to get some clarity and direction on. She was really open and honest with me about her feelings surrounding it. It became clear pretty quickly through some specific words that she had some underlying needs that were a likely cause for why she was in the place she was in with her “problem”. When I shared with her what I was really hearing from her, she was shaking her head “yes” to all of it. I think some of what I was telling her had entered her mind before but she’d set it aside. After getting her set up for the threshold portion of the ceremony we entered the wander area. During this time with me following her, I had taken a mental note of each place she’d stopped and I was asking myself the sacred questions as though it was my own wander. As her coach, I wanted to know what these specific things had to teach me about her and how I could help her navigate them. I also noted any changes I’d noticed in her physically and energetically. I really couldn’t believe what I was observing. I was witnessing “the pull” to specific things and feeling her energy shift as she neared them. Nature had really brought a lot of things to the table for us during this time and I could sense that she was seeing that as well. At the end of the wander we discussed the places she stopped and she really had some deep insights into those moments. I helped her apply those to this new way of being that we were exploring. I also shared a little about what they were showing me as a witness. She said she felt amazing leaving that space and felt so relieved that she could see a way out of the place she felt trapped in. I think visualizing ourselves being a way that takes responsibility for our current state and seeing ourselves show up in a way that can heal our troubles really shows us that we’re in control of the outcomes. Her seeing herself taking care of those emotional needs shows her that she’s capable of doing it because she already knows how to do it, she just needed to remember how. She had placed patches on her life that weren’t holding up any longer because they only provided short-term relief and sometimes no relief at all. What a great experience and what a wonderful gift to be able to share with her. I’m so grateful!
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I love this, and your witnessing of her ‘pull’ and energetic shifts. How special this must have been to do with your sister.
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What a beautiful experience to share with your sister.
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I have a question for others, when you follow your clients do you stand behind them or next to them?
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I did this exercise with my 18-year-old niece. I asked her what she preferred. She said to walk silently next to her. I think it’s up to the individual.
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My practice client was my ex colleague that was seeking direction for her current role as she doesn’t feel valued for all the potential she has. When we started the session she was very tensed and overactive due to the feeling of overwhelmed she was experiences. I wanted our coaching session was really a ceremony with a opening, a middle and a end. In the opening I wanted she eneter in the sacred space of our coaching relationship, “shaking away the dust from the road”: a few minute of calming down by using surrender breath and some kind of guided visualization. Then there was I phase of exploration, trying to understand what was the topic she wanted to bring in the session and the goal she wanted to reach. She tried to focus the discussion on the other people’s lacks or faults and I helped her, through open question, to have a wide angle vision and to look at the situation on different perspectives. What kind of character strengths were over or under-expressed in these unbalanced relationships? What was her need? She suddenly started to deeply understand the context and she understood that looking the situation from different angles can change completely the meaning of the whole story. I asked her what she feels it has changed from the beginning of the session (checking the mobility). How did she intend to change the interaction with her boss in the near future and what kind of actions she wanted to perform to reach the desired goals? On which character strengths she could leverage in managing her frustration?. Before closing the session I proposed a work-out asking her to wander in her backyard and finding answers in the Nature. Closing ceremony it was another surrender breath and guided visualisation: feel your feet grounded and as roots of tree go deeply in the earth connecting with the energy coming from the core. Her face, her expression was completely changed and it was like she reached another level of awareness.
