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Summary Post – Foundation Three Discussion (Due by 8/30)
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13 Replies
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Reflecting back on this module the things that I am taking aways form this module are; that our experiences in the threshold will help us better serve our clients, that everyone’s experience and each session will be unique. We need to create and hold sacred space for our clients to feel safe and trust us so they can do their work. As coaches, we need to be present and at the same time stay out of the client’s way, not putting our agenda on them, and let the client work through the process. We need to listen and be clear on what the client is saying, by reflecting back to them. I am excited to practice how to do this by asking a question rather than summarizing back to the client.
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I have a bit more reading I would like to wrap up before posting my summary. Will have it up by the end of the weekend. Thanks for your patience and all the support!
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Reflecting on this module, Foundations 3 – it has been a full one! Many areas of insight, growth and trust. From examining the purpose and state of being for successful threshold experiences; awareness to achieving the needed state of being for self and for guiding the client to; and how the core competencies play a guiding role in establishing the trust necessary with the client to be open to the threshold. To the many highlights I made in the reading in both the Coaching Skills and Coyote’s Guide books. So many good stories and sample questions to practice and review, as well as, use for working myself through some thresholds on my own path, including awareness to my assumptions around running a business based on past experiences, especially coaching clients through change. I will take a moment here to thank those of you who have been working with me in the coaching client practice swap. I appreciate your help working through this change for myself! Seeing myself in the steps that are discussed in the chapter; anticipatory grief, denial, bargaining, acceptance, and self-limiting, I believe will help me relate to clients on an deeper level. The Natural Cycle & Natural Learning Cycle chapters provide me with a different way to look at flow but also a better way to talk about it in a metaphorical way. Plus the Representative Models they give are helping me get a plan for a workshop I am developing. I feel like I am in the flow and opportunities are falling in my lap, at some moments I am trying to just focus on going with the flow and at other times I am spinning from how quick it seems to be moving. Thanks for helping me stay grounded! Can’t wait to see you all in September.
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Hi Sheri!!
I am so excited for you for the workshop and opportunities that are “falling in your lap” and I want to hear all about them!! This module has been a lot of info, learning, practice and I am happy to be here with all of you 🙂
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Sorry a bit late too… I am planning on submitting it shortly. Hugs to all.
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As I reflect back on foundations 3, the readings, the videos, and my experiences…
One of the things I am acutely aware of is the juxtaposition of the two text books. I approached Rogers book with focused mental attention working hard to translate the concepts into embodied understanding. Coyote’s Guide feels more holistic, engaging mind and body, and resonating with spirit. Both can be formulaic and both are oriented toward increasing self-awareness. Yet their approaches and perspectives are vastly different. The differences fascinates me in that they seem representative of the uniqueness of the clients I will be working with. Deep non-judgmental listening is important to recognize the individuality of each client and the personal lens that they use in interpreting their own life. In reading the two books and learning about coaching I am increasingly aware of my own lens, biased toward somatic awareness and learning to listen to the body’s messages, subtle (energetic) and gross (physical). It is my lens, I hope a personal strength and skill, that I add to my nature connected coaching.Combined, the two books help provide balance in creating a 50/50 approach to coaching…
Learning from Rogers is informationally based and provides skills, understanding and awareness for coaching a client. Her guidance regarding self-awareness asks us to recognize the importance of creating a safe nonjudgmental space for listening, nudging clients to be willing to engage with the feedback exclusion zone which in turn offers them the possibility to see who they are in relation to who they want to be. Experience has showed me that a client who can look at their story/life and decide for her/himself what they want to change in themselves is much more likely to get through severance and reach threshold (and beyond) than if the client is told, or given a suggestion, by someone else as to what changes might be good for them!
Michael and Rogers discussed opening the session and the importance of setting a goal. Language matters, questions matter, honesty matters and your client and his/her goals matter. My coaching skills develop as I let go of ego, let go of expectations, stop trying to fix things, and trust that as the client recognizes adversity and the need for change, he/she also has within him/her the solutions necessary to create the change and move forward.
Change, as a result of reaching threshold is not necessarily easy. It requires commitment. It is important for the coach to watch for common pitfalls and stay in support of the client and her/his goals. Clients often have numerous ways and reasons to both prevent goal setting and/or reaching goals. Rogers has offered numerous questions and a few exercises to keep the client on track while furthering self-awareness and motivation. Many are very specific. The questions, especially as I am finding my coaching voice are very helpful – and thought provoking.While Rogers techniques are psychologically and informationally based, John Young’s style is experientially oriented. Though it is meant for mentoring and educating, the concepts and techniques are easily extrapolated and applied to coaching. Brilliantly formulaic, it guides the client inward to the part of him/her self that is innately connected with and inspired by nature. The formula for questioning, parallels the formula for flow learning:
Stages of Questioning: confidence builders, edge questions beyond the edge
Flow Learning: enthusiasm, attention, experience and inspiration
Michael stated “The depth of your listening is reflected in your questions”. Asking the right questions leads to growth and transformation for the client.
Rogers book stated that there are two types of goals, performance goals and learning goals. Because she is an executive coach, and this is the leaning of her book, the goals are problem oriented. It is my belief that coaching, especially nature connected coaching can be requested purely for the purpose of inner growth and or spiritual development. The goal does not need to be problem solving. Young’s focus is on developing self-awareness that is inclusive of nature connection. Flow learning is to recognize you are part of something larger. This recognition fosters an awareness much greater than the self. In this lies many answers, some to problems, some to curiosities, some personally transformative. To coach a person to a place of inner connection and nature connection is the deepest form of self-awareness and when one has self-awareness they have choice and with choice you can live a life of meaning and purpose…and joy.-
Shari – this is beautifully stated…”especially nature connected coaching can be requested purely for the purpose of inner growth and or spiritual development. The goal does not need to be problem solving. Young’s focus is on developing self-awareness that is inclusive of nature connection. Flow learning is to recognize you are part of something larger. This recognition fosters an awareness much greater than the self. In this lies many answers, some to problems, some to curiosities, some personally transformative. To coach a person to a place of inner connection and nature connection is the deepest form of self-awareness and when one has self-awareness they have choice and with choice you can live a life of meaning and purpose…and joy.” I wholeheartedly agree and am grateful you were able to phrase it and highlight it. I struggle with the concept of fixing it or finding the solution for them, when what I desire is to share love, to guide them to an experience that only they can have for themselves, one of inner connection. From my experience when you are in that place of oneness the clarity comes regarding those problems we are attempting to solve and their importance, or lack there of, and problems often fade away with this self awareness. Thanks!
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Such amazing reflections from all of you! Wow!
For me, the learnings here really stood out in the Flow of Learning. Designing the Flow and then orienting to the natural needs of the group – scaling up and scaling down as needed. Which is all about understanding each experience and each client’s session will be unique as Melody stated. And as Sheri put it flow learning reminds us to recognize that we are part of something larger. Expanding and embracing feels like my mantra after this module.
And even though it is obvious Rogers states that “…clients bring a whole range of issues to coaching…” It is a good reminder. And we will bring a whole range of issues with us to coaching so it is so important that we do hold that space for them to become more self-aware and learn. We can only be there as their guide, not their solver or their rescuer. I keep telling myself this as it was brought up in the Rogers book in an earlier module. I know I want to be a rescuer, a solver, a superhero but that’s not what we as coaches are. We are guiders. And the Rogers book gives us these great tools to work with from a more practical standpoint whereas the Coyote book addresses it from more of an inspirational and, sometimes, playful view. All in ways that are applicable to what we will be doing.
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Hi Kim!
What stood out most for me reading your comment was knowing you want to be the rescuer, solver, superhero and knowing that we are guiders.
I think this is something I will have to watch for too and would be us pushing our agenda and reminds me that everyone is on their own journey and may not want the same thing I would want if I was in their shoes.
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Hi Shari!!
I love how you pointed out the juxtaposition of the 2 books. I find I read the coaching handbook when I feel more mentally alert and the Coyotes guide when I feel more relaxed. When you said “finding your caching voice” that really resonated with me as I’ve been working on and practicing (like right now even though it’s in writing) feeling safe to speak my authentic truth lately and my coaching voice is part of that. I love too that you said NCC doesn’t need to have a problem to solve and can be a part of spiritual growth as I have been thinking that my ideal clients are those on a spiritual path or wanting to start one.
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In summary of foundation 3, I am struck by how passively I have observed myself “getting through” the initial stages of the severance ceremony. I find myself focused largely on the time restraints of each session, or the rigidity of the activity that we (my client and I) have agreed to engage upon. There is too much planning around my sessions, I have come to realize. In that, if someone hires me to go for a mountain biking session, I am challenged to stay true to the intentions underlying the session — that of goal oriented work around deeper needs and growth. I am finding that the offerings of activity are overshadowing the real gritty and fun work to be done on an energetic level/on a healing level. I have, through Coyote’s Guide book in particular, developed a strong pull towards removing the gear from any and all 1-0n-1 sessions…allowing for their place to be better suited in a group outings/dynamic, where there is far more time to play and reflect upon what these movements/activities bring up for clients – both in the group dynamic and individually.
This module, listening to the video, and reading all of your powerful/insightful reflections and feedback have truly focused down with clarity that my current course of approach to 1-on-1’s is too confined, and too full. While I am holding space and practicing active and reflective listening, challenging clients, and supporting them free from my agenda of wanting to perceive progress on their behalf; I am still enforcing my agenda on them in logistical ways: we have to finish this loop in 1.5 hours. “This part of the loop” is perfect for a threshold experience and the client must wait till we get to “this spot” before we play in that deeper need…I’m too caught up on the window of access that I have with my client, the bikes & SUPs don’t fit. And I’m forcing them in as a gimmicky marketing tool, because they draw clients in…
No more, I think! I’m okay with this new awareness/belief, and am grateful it has arisen.
Refocusing on the client’s journey and allowing for more room for them to explore/dance/play in the spirit of balancing Rogers’ words/guidance with that of Young (leaning, admittedly, into Young’s more so…) -
As first stressed in Chapter 5 Coaching Skills, coaching begins with an assessment of where the client, and beginning the self-discovery journey starts with a well-rounded examination of where the client is now. In this chapter 5, several tools and techniques are described, among them autobiography, 360-feedback, psychometrics, all of which are best to be used in the very first stages of the coaching process. At the beginning of each session though, it will be important to take a pulse on where the client is prior to starting the session. Chapter 9 of Coyotes’ guide describes the Nature Cycle that could be used to provide a sense of direction and orientation for designing a facilitating learning experience.
Another takeaway for me was to realize how crucial it will be for me as a coach to be efficient at guiding clients through changes and transitions. Change is complex, so it is important to fully acknowledge from the start that the process may be difficult for the clients and or for the coach. It is also primordial to acknowledge that the desire for transformation is not the same as making it happen. The two frameworks, Kubler-Ross change cycle, for working with clients dealing with any kind of lost or changes, and William Bridge’s model to deal with transition, are important to understand and to teach the clients so that they understand their own processes better, but there are not rigid processes.
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I think my biggest takeaway is the importance of our own experiences of threshold. By experiencing it ourselves, we are able to trust the process more and get out of the way (both our own and our clients). Also, the importance of building trust with our clients. It takes them feeling safe and secure in order to let go to enter threshold in the manner needed to be a powerful, life changing experience. And lastly, how profound the threshold experience is and how tapping into those emotions creates powerful change and memories in the brain.
