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APNC Spring 2020-Mod 2 Lesson 1 Forum
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14 Replies
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My first Nature Wander experience was both surprising and eye-opening. Following 7 deep breaths in a standing position and then sitting in a wooden chair outside on a deck, I focused my question on plans to change careers and do what I believe is better aligned and more rewarding for my personal interests and professional focus. After breathing and centering in my body, I closed my eyes and meditated with an open mind on the question, and didn’t set any expectations about the Wander. I wanted to go through the process and allow nature to influence me and see what would develop. After meditating for about 10 minutes, I walked down the steps from my deck, which coincidentally is seven steps, and proceeded to allow my body to be pulled in the direction I felt. Not long after walking slowly and quietly I found a Hawk feather and was later pulled to a leafing Oak tree that I have watched grow from 7 feet to 40 feet, for the past 10 years. After some contemplation, I sensed that the nature Wander was showing me the need to fly toward my future with the confidence of a Hawk and demonstrated through the newly leafed Oak tree, nature’s normal cycle of change and progression. My sense is that the Nature Wander experience revealed and encouraged my plans to make personal and professional life changes.
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If you asked those closest to me what word comes to mind when I am outside my home (driving, walking, shopping, traveling, teaching, whatever) they would say “wander.” I have always been a wanderer and in what I consider the best possible sense of the word. Let me explain…
So much was this the case, that as soon as I was old enough to walk, when my family went places like the county fair or a big marketplace, my folks tied a yellow balloon to my wrist. I thought it was a prize for me; they were using it to track my travels. I wandered off in all directions, but they were always able to find me. I wandered because I wondered. My entire life I have wondered at things—especially at things that occur naturally. My friends don’t like hiking with me, because a one-hour hike takes four hours with me. I am compelled to slow or stop and take in all I am experiencing. This has not changed since I was quite young.
The act of wandering comes so naturally to me, that I sometimes forget I am doing just that. But I still stop to take in whatever calls to me. Nowhere is this truer than in nature. Put me in a forest and you may not see me for days. And when I travel, it is the terrain I want to explore. If I am more cerebral, I may take photos of the treasures I find—leaving the land as I found it but returning with the memories. It does not require photos though. I have been known to leave my cell phone at home and not realize it until hours later. To wander for me, is freedom. I never feel more myself, than when wandering in nature. As I said before, “laughter is my religion; nature is my sanctuary.”
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Wayne and Lynn, wonderful reflections and insights from both of you. I love how a wander sounds like it natural and intuitive for both of you! Nature is always ready to collaborate and teach us things and it is only when we allow that wisdom and baseline to align with our inner baseline can we really start to see and experience all the beauty and splendor that nature has to share with us and show us.
Yesterday I went for a wander after an afternoon thunder shower came through the Front Range in Colorado and I was amazed by the amount of growth and greenness that was flourishing throughout the forest where I took my wander. Blue, yellow and purple wildflowers were scattering the forest floor and the trees were blooming with new life throughout my whole excursion. As I allowed myself to slow down and listen to what this was telling me, I realized that new life and growth like this can only truly occur after a storm. That the storms in nature are temporary and bring so much new life after they pass. And that same wisdom can happen in my life! How can I allow the storms that pass in my own personal life become the source of new growth and life inside of my own life? Where can I shift this perspective inside of myself to see my storms as amplifiers and a water source for my own personal journey? In my personal and professional life! I look forward to meditating on this insight and seeing where I can allow growth to happen for myself so that I can share it with others!
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Lynn and Daniel,
I enjoyed both of your discussions and insights. I do think wandering is innate for some people like Lynn, but the deeper reflection for me is something new. Really listening to nature, a full spectrum sphere. It makes sense because all living things are connected on this planet (Michael emphasizes this point) and if we tune in we expand our experience and understanding. That’s powerful for me. Daniel, your interpretation of the storm and the growth it brings is spot on, very vivid and made me think back to the storms in Arizona and Colorado, as well as the storms of life. Thanks for the feedback.
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I went to a new part of Denver for me to scout a new forest bathing walk I wanted to share with a regular private client. The place I visited is called Bluff Lake and it is an oasis in this city–a green space filled with water fowl. I love how the walk starts above the lake and visitors drop slowly to its level as the city and the far away mountains disappear from view. So begins and began for me an immersive experience in grasses and water and the friends who live in this ecosystem. I came upon a sunny turtle and several heron and red-winged blackbird, some geese, and bunnies and many families out thriving the outdoors. As is the case without fail, other nature, had my back. I actively left my brain in my car and asked my body to take to the route I would offer my client. Over an hour of wandering, watching, listening, and receiving, the way was clear and my belief in my attachment to being a guide all the stronger.
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To Wade, I read your post with a big smile on my face. I loved how you depicted a detective story and the lies led you to what you most what to see happen, the changes you are eager for. I wish that for you!
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I’ll admit, I initially forgot to acknowledge that nature would be collaborating with me while I was on a wander. By the time I completed my wander, I was dunking myself in a cold stream in gratitude for nature’s companionship.
The Blue Jay showed me the way beyond the threshold. I already knew the answer to my inquiry before crossing, but I wasn’t able to make a decision with all the layers of complexity. I looked to the hemlock with lifeless limbs running from the forest floor until the top of the canopy. No, I thought, I don’t want to spend my life force climbing the traditional career ladder to only have a view from the top without regard for the barren understory. I meandered to a clearing where I was enticed to sit among a vibrant moss village growing out of the ashes of a burn pile. While I appreciate the vitality of youth, I am no longer in a carefree opportunistic phase of life. I spoke the answer to my question out loud, and asked for confirmation. With no clear response I continued. I had more to see, more to learn. I recognized and listened to my intuition which lead me into the dense pine understory, I was surrounded by saplings sitting under their elders. I am in the thick of it. I know which direction to go, I don’t know where it will take me, but I just have to commit and trust.
My mind can provide good reasons for why I should I return to work full time and why I should return part time. I let go of the concerns about health care eligible, ability to pay for childcare, and the uncertainty about COVID. I am trusting that everything will work out if I follow through with what my heart knows.
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On my first intentional wander in a forested park walking distance from my home, the dichotomy between my logical, meaning-making thoughts and my inner knowing was incredibly prominent. I see-sawed between the two states of being until several surrender breaths in prayer position helped me drop in. Prior to that, my inner knowing led me to establishing a sit-spot at the base of a curved maple, looking up at a resilient cedar that appears to have survived a fire. My logical brain debated with itself about which question I wanted to ask. Eventually the cedar told me, and that is when I was able to drop in. I’m finding that often times the message coming from that deeper place within is the one to which I am more resistant, the one that is more challenging or, dare I say – fear-provoking. That is the intention I chose to move forward with courage. And once I did so, my logical brain was no longer distracted by the voices below me on the trail or by the mosquitos swarming for my blood.
My wander led me in a broad, left-turning circle to a plant – cleavers – that I recently was learning and wondering about as medicine. Right next to the single patch of cleavers in this tiny valley behind the main, was a moldy, overgrown baseball. I didn’t yet know what the baseball meant, but it struck me, as it felt so out of place and yet perfectly placed beside the cleavers. I felt very strongly that the plant was offering itself and I was pulled to give thanks via prayer (the second prayer of the day, and I am not one who typically puts palms together with the specific intention to pray) to the plant, make an offering in return, and then harvest some of it to bring home. After this small ceremony, I felt my wander coming to a close as it led me back the way I came. Suddenly though, I felt urged to turn uphill and led to another large cedar, behind which was hiding a ton of oregon grape, as well as an opening into my neighborhood that I didn’t know existed.
Later, walking back down the trail, I felt all I had witnessed soaking into my bones. Without thought, a scene from my childhood appeared vividly in my mind’s eye. It was a traumatic event that occurred after a baseball game, and it told me what I needed to work on healing. And I know that the energetics of cleavers will support this healing. I then found my logical mind trying to take over and analyze the other things I was led to, such as Oregon Grape – “this must also be a plant medicine you need!” it said. And then I heard a voice resonate out from within saying, “OREGON.” My second question, the one I set aside, seemed to have been answered as well. It was centered on where I want and need to root myself. It’s like I unknowingly put out both intentions into la pachama and she helped me prioritize, then responded to both. I left with much more clear direction as to where I need to be investing my energy right now in terms of my own healing as well as in creating the life I want to live.
I am eager to do more. I also feel a resistance, which tells me more wanders are exactly what I need.
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@JessBuckley Thank you for sharing about this wander. The imagery and symbolism is beautiful. I can really relate to your closing statement, regarding how your mind can provide good reasons for X, Y, and Z, however, following what your heart knows is key. I appreciated your response to my previous post about how you are deciphering between your heart and your thoughts, and I hear you living this out in this post.
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Stacy Prater-Vigil. Module 2. Lesson 1
I started my WANDER with an intention and quickly slipped into an ease with what was so. I allowed my vision to soften and it soothed me into “oneness.” My intention gurgled in the background…What are some next steps for my coaching career? As I looked around at all the weeds that “needed” to be pulled, the word, “ALLOW” showed up. Without judgement, I continued on my wander and felt like I went deeper and deeper into myself which was outside myself and was really everything I was looking at. In front of me, a bee buzzed towards the giant sunflower I had started from a seed only weeks before. ASI maintained my soft vision and did a few release breaths, I wanted the Bee to “be” there but I didn’t want to hyper-focus on it. I wanted to continue to allow it to show me what it wanted to show me… after what seemed like hours of watching it (in reality maybe five minutes), I recieved some clarity.
The wander was about allowing answers to my question of next steps for my coaching business – What I clearly got was, allow it to take action. So I am taking action in sharing what I do with authenticity and grace, working on my website when I can, and then allowing that action, or that energy to percolate around me, in the universe, I allow the Action to do its work. With that dynamic happening- I have gotten two new, coaching clients in the past few weeks!
I also chose to take action by donating my services to two people for the rest of the year who in the black community, and are looking for long term coaching and are challenged financially. That is what came out of the wander and I am grateful. -
My Wander in the Shed:
I am currently working on a farm in Arkansas through the WWOOF. My hosts we will call Rusty and Mary. Other than care for animals and the garden, my biggest project has been the clean out of a shed that was filled with the family’s old items, relics, antiques, some junk, lots of clothes, tools and equipment. Over the years, I have worked hard to minimize my own belongings, to piece together what carries deep meaning for me, and to learn to say goodbye to that which does not bring joy or practical use. I have found that I’m quite good at sorting, organizing and assigning homes to my things, and have helped a number of friends do the same. I have always loved exploring new homes, new places, and I love to listen to people’s stories. When I was a little girl, I would love to go through my best friends bedrooms with them, looking at all their tiny trinkets, toys, and treasures. I have often dreamt of travelling through different homes, moving from place to place, finding clues and keys in each one. In my waking life, this tendency toward such curiosity has been challenging at times, and I have had to learn a lot about boundaries. That said, I have also listened deeply to many, many stories, and feel blessed to be someone that people open up to about things they may not share openly, including their supernatural stories and tales of magic.
The day I took this wander, I did so while working in Mary’s shed. It was a short wander that started with the questions: Why am I here and why am I drawn toward helping people clean and sort their belongings? What does this work mean for my life and career? When I began, I started by just noticing with a wider sense of vision and objective awareness, what my hands were doing and what my eyes were seeing. I saw pictures and took deeper looks at the stories of those pictures. I felt gratitude for being given the trust to see such intimacy of people who are practically strangers to me. I used my breath to help me go slow and mindfully. At some point I came across a picture of two young girls in cheer outfits. One was older than the other. There was another portrait of the younger girl. I placed them upright, carefully displaying them in the front of the shed. My attention continued to roam. At some point, I was really drawn to an old and gorgeous saddle. I smiled when I saw it was made in Texas. After a while, I began answering my questions. I am being shown that I am here to help a family work on something that feels overwhelming for them to face without help. I am a kind person, and they have chosen to trust me. I am so blessed by this. I saw a collage of Mary’s family before she was remarried to Rusty. It was a myriad of pictures showing their family travels. Their lives are so different now. Both remarried. She has told me that their separation was bitter. The frame was buried beneath piles of things that hadn’t been touched in some time. I found another picture of her from even longer ago. Her hair, cut short in a bob and dyed blonde, a huge contrast to the long braid that she now wears down her back. I teared up, because recently I cut all my hair, one evening after a difficult break-up, and found comfort in this picture of her, how time can do many things. Overall, I felt connected to the humanness in all of the stories that their belongings told.
At some point a little later, Mary stepped into the shed while I was working. She paused at the photographs of those girls and said: This is me! When I saw who she spoke of, it was the older of the two girls in cheer outfits. She got very still and quiet, and then said, this is my sister Tanya, who died tragically when we were young. I stopped working and faced her, giving my full and undivided attention. She continued to tell me the story of her niece, Tanya, who Mary’s mother had adopted when she was born, because her father, Mary’s older brother, was only 17 when Tanya was born. Tanya had been raised as Mary’s younger sister. One weekend, they took a trip to Georgia to visit some family. Mary was 15 and Tanya was 8 years old, the same age as my son, Oliver. During that trip, Mary and Tanya had been playing with a little boy across the hall from the apartment building where they stayed. At some point the little boy asked if Tanya could come see his cat. She went across the hall, and then Mary and her mother heard a gunshot. The little boy, maybe only 7 years old, had shot Tanya in the head and killed her. Mary saw her precious baby sister in a pool of blood. After that, Mary and her mother moved to a new state, Mary started a new school, and left the story behind. Her mother was forever depressed and closed, and Mary grieves it alone. She said that sometimes, she will sit and cry silently in a corner, but that she doesn’t often share that story. We cried and hugged and put Tanya’s picture back in the pillow case, where she wanted to keep protected, but out of sight. I suppose she doesn’t need to see the picture to be reminded of the story. I only hope that seeing it brought her some healing, even if just for a moment of not grieving Tanya’s death alone.
I am not sure how to say what role Nature played in this wander, but only because there is not a way I can separate any part of the story from its connection to nature. That said, I feel that because of having intentionally opened my heart and mind to the wander and to my connection with life, life responded by sharing this story. Mary lives off-grid on a farm full of animals, but distant from any city or social life. She has had many WWOOFers come help on her land, but I may be the first to take on the job of cleaning out her shed. She needs a place to groom her animals, to sew and wash, to quilt and make flower arrangements. I saw that need and responded when she explained her vision. I admit, it is not what I envisioned when we signed up to come work the land, but this wander showed me that my hands are valuable, no matter what work they do. With the intention to help, they will always help to heal. As for what it informs me about my career, I am unsure. My career often feels like a wander in itself. I wait for the signals, and trust when the time is right. It is never certain, the next steps are hardly clear, it is present focused and difficult to explain, especially in a world that is obsessed with tenure, security, and retirement plans. But it is deeply spiritual and fulfilling. The value and sacredness of the work I did that day may never have happened had I come here in search for job security. I came to work for room and board, to be out of the urban cesspools of Covid, to give my kid an opportunity to disconnect from his growing digital dependence, and affirm his love for animals. It was not for any money. Yet, I wonder, how could I make something like that into a living, so that my own basic needs are fulfilled? Well, this is a question for another wander..
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I finally started to wander around 3 days ago. Honestly, it is something that I hardly ever do, because I was born & grew up in a dense city area. Hence, my parents hardly allow me to wander around. I have been living in the suburb, since I got married 17 years ago. The environment of our residential cluster where I am currently residing, is actually quite inviting to wander around. However, my childhood habit stuck with me, until 3 days ago I decided that I will not postpone doing the wander anymore.
Initially my 1st wandering experience in my residential neighborhood was not really comfortable, as I was breaking out of my old pattern. However, to my delight, it turned into an enjoyable experience not long after I started. I have always enjoyed observing the physical environment, that’s why I took architecture in my university years. However, I usually observe the physical environment when I am on holiday away from my home or observing while inside a vehicle while on my way. Not long after I started my 1st wander, I observed the back part of my house from a distance. I noticed things that I was not aware before about my house, like the cracks on the walls, the plant that have overgrown its place, etc. I felt like I was getting to know my house all over again & it warmed my heart.
Then I moved on to just stroll around my residential cluster, just following my feet. I noticed many interesting things within my neighborhood. I noticed the small birds gathers on the grass, as well on the trees, I noticed a certain house has an altar on its 2nd floor terrace, I noticed a couple of very nice stretch of green areas that I was not aware that they exist prior to this, and many more small wonderful things. It suddenly dawned on me that by doing this “aimless” wandering activity, I was actually expanding & enriching meaningful knowledge & understanding. I have been too goal oriented in my approach to life, both in personal life as well as professional life. I suddenly realized that if I create more free, unstructured space in my time schedule, my life & personal growth would be so much more meaningful.
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@eko.windiarto This is such a beautiful revelation! Thank you for sharing. We live in a society that holds goals and achievements and progress on a pedestal, and through that process, often forgets the beauty of the journey – I have to constantly remind myself of this, and your post served as a great reminder, so thank you. 🙂
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Thank you to everyone for sharing, each reflection has taught me something. I’m a bit late having been busy the past month finalising work, travel plans and the transition from a secure role to my coaching practice fulltime. There have been many wonderful lessons on transitions this past few weeks. There may also be some overlap as I answer these questions going forward as I have been trying to apply these new tools throughout the process.
I had while still in the city been for a couple of wanders that I just could not get into the space, I found there to be so many distractions with the pedestrian traffic along the river that I was being very hard on myself and not able to focus on the task at hand. I gave up, enjoyed a fast pace walk and returned home.
Last week was a different story (I will talk about this no doubt in the coming reflections too), I went with the intention of going for a hike up the forestry behind where I was staying just before departing on my travels. I moved rather breathlessly up this hill to a look out, paused and then made my way back down to locate the path to the gorge. When I found it I settled into my intention of practicing what I have learn through the last few APNC lessons. My intention was to find the inspiration to write my blog post that was well overdue. I took deep breaths and surrendered, beginning my walk. I let nature guide me and tried to stay heart centered, after about 30 minutes I had this pull to sit on this large rock looking back down the creek. I sat and noted through my senses what was happening around me, within me, what I was learning in that moment. I sat there for what felt like an age, it was about 25 minutes just being. Nature, the trees, the birds, the insects moved around me.
I never made it to the waterfall in the gorge but I did know what my blog post was going to be about. Transitions.
