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Coaching Presence – ICF Competencies Discussion
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8 Replies
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I really enjoyed hearing this discussion. I found it supportive, in the learning process, and work/practice it takes cultivate a coaching presence and style (ICF Competencies). I will definitely listen to this again to hear things that might not have stood out to me during the first listening. Being reminded it’s a dance and visualizing how the trees and wind dance in relationship to each other is a nice visual and visceral. Being reminded to take the opportunity to be in a state of curiosity at anytime, it does not just have to be while I am with a client. I can practice being curious, build that “muscle”. As Michael stated, the more eventually the competencies will become integrated within the body on a cellular level in time. I enjoyed how Ivy stating, what she would like to see of students in “fish bowl” is to just allow it to be there, but allow it just come., Not to overthink anything, just allow. I find when my mind takes over, that’s when I interrupt the flow, perhaps my own agenda pops in, my coaching presence changes from a ground neutral state and I will have to re-center myself. I will definitely listen to this discussion again. Here all four of you in this dialogue is very supportive. Makes me feel like I am in the class room at star house.
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Love this idea to elaborate on the competencies and share this discussion with students! What all of you kind of reinforced in my thinking of Coaching Presence is that the concepts within it invite the coach to relax and allow things to flow. Some key words you said were “curiosity”, “flexibility”, “humor”, “spontaneity”, “trusting intuition”, “go moment to moment”. Particularly as new coaches I think we have a tendency to take it so seriously that it’s hard to get out of our heads enough at times to really be showing up fully for our clients. Yes, what we’re engaging in is very serious but it’s helpful to remember that this is a time for being a present witness to the process. We can be spontaneous, fun, humorous all the while keying in to the important words, moments, energy shifts and flowing with all of those without necessarily having to think about doing all of that. When you were talking about the pieces of Coaching Presence that you’d really like to see being developed in your students, “the pause” came up. This was and really still is one of the things I need to be more comfortable doing. When I put myself in the client role, I would really appreciate a coach taking the time they felt necessary to take stock of where we are, take some notes, process what was just said,etc. My hang up is, as a coach, I am still thinking a little bit linearly. Like we have somewhere to head towards and I need the progress to stay moving forward. Pauses take time, pauses might look like I’m not paying close enough attention or listening well enough. This is where flexibility in the process and within myself is needed.
Some metaphor in nature that comes to mind around coaching is rising water (lakes, rivers, oceans). I think of a tide rising. When water rises in nature doesn’t choose where to go, it has no plan. It just flows to all of the lowest points and gently fills them. How can we be like water and allow our presence to fill the space naturally?
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I like the way that this discussion dives into a better understanding of what it means to begin with presence. Being with my clients and the invitation into presence is one of the things I most love about coaching.
The things that stood out to me were the pieces of the dance. -
Being curious can sometimes be a struggle for me when I feel like I “know” something. As a teacher, I was charged with holding right and wrong answers. I am working to re-pattern some of my previous training to become more spacious.
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I have to work on this as well Sarah. I can see many people in this day and age working on this muscle, but especially with teaching backgrounds like you said.
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Curiosity
Ritual before beginning a session
pause
humor
self management
I like how you recognize how you are part of the relationship or equation responsibility as the coach and how your actions are contributing to the clients session🙂
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Presence is the essence of coaching to me. I think so few people are used to feeling that someone is present with them. This is one of greatest values of coaching. So mush can unfold from the place of presence. I like the way it is described here as a dance. Humor and spontaneity can unfold from this place. Presence is fun, supportive and light. It’s definitely where the magic in coaching begins and where the relationship is created. When people feel you are present with them they tend to trust you and want to go deeper.
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This was an interesting introduction to the concept of coaching for me. The discussion approach, watching each person contribute to the topic in a round table fashion, made it relaxing and interesting. It impressed upon me balance, and brought to mind the ideas of wu chi, yin, and yang.
