APNC 3.1 (WI 2018)

[Lyria Shaffer-Bauck]

I chose my first test client out of convenience, but also because I felt like he was a person in my life that could truly benefit from some self-searching/exploration in the wilderness. I have been sharing some of the practices that I have learned from the class with my boyfriend and our trip camping in the North Cascades bush seemed like the perfect opportunity. Since I tend to be the stronger personality in the relationship and am constantly encouraging him to push his limits and heighten his senses, I wanted this experience for him to be liberating and more at his pace. For the first time—possibly in our relationship—I followed his lead. We headed out from where we had camped with me tracing his footsteps. I often wanted to pull him in another direction to explore areas I felt drawn to, but I curbed that urge. There will be plenty of opportunities for me to wander and I was curious to see where he would take us.

I had mentioned the wander idea to him the night before and, by the time we headed out, he seemed to have planned an entire route. We headed up along a Forestry road and cut west through the lush green of reaching fiddlehead ferns and huckleberries. The forest floor was one continuous cushion of green moss and above, the afternoon sun sliced through the canopy. In the near distance, we could hear the rush of Marble Creek gushing with water from the melting snow fields on the ridge. We followed the creek north, passing fallen trees, which bridged over to small overgrown islands separating splits in the creek runs. Oh, how I wanted to scamper across and explore them!

Brady had brought a GPS watch and he frequently checked our distance and the time. The river converged with another Forestry road and we walked along it for a while, reaching a turn-off, which descended steeply back down toward the river. As we began to follow, we quickly spotted a vehicle parked—someone was camping. We turned back and followed our trail back into the brush, sometimes tracing the shores of the creek and sometimes heading deeper into the forest, but never letting the sound of the creek completely fade. As we were walking, Brady made a comment about the experience with the turn-off being symbolic for his career; he had been so excited to go there and explore, only to be turned away upon arrival. I tried to guide him in a more positive thought pattern by pointing out that his career will be a journey and that that turn-off was just one stop along the way. Still, I noticed some angst in his energy and, as we wandered deeper into the woods, I felt as if he was operating with tunnel vision—often not noticing easy passage and entangling himself in layers of heavy brush. This is by far the most hands off I have been in any outdoor adventure we’ve had. I really wanted it to be his journey and his choice without my influence impacting direction, route or outcome. Still, I felt like he put his head down and marched through the forest, not stopping and not taking it all in. His wander felt executed in a similar fashion to a marathon or a heavy workout—not to say it was right or wrong, just different.

Once we were back on the Forestry road, Brady confided in me that he started to feel a bit frantic towards the end. He felt uncomfortable not knowing exactly where we were and feeling like we might run out of daylight. I won’t boast to have been an outstanding guide, but I did learn a lot in the process. Having sensed his anxiety early on, I could have pointed out landmarks to help him feel more at ease in his wander. After all, we were trekking the swath of land that stretched between a Forestry road and a large creek. Walking in either direction would have resulted in hitting one of them and finding our way. Experiencing the outdoors in this fashion is something relatively new to him and helping him to familiarize himself with the terrain may have encouraged him to leave survival mode and have a more experiential journey. Another thing that I learned and plan to change for the next wander is to ask that gadgets be left behind, or at least tucked away for the wander, if the client feels more comfortable having them nearby. Nowadays, we miss being in the present moment because we choose to experience through devices and it just isn’t the same. Also, knowing my inclination to be heavily involved, I erred on the side of being more hands off. I plan to practice methods for being more gently involved in the process in the future, as I work to become a guide.

[Cory Steele]

That sounds very enlightening! I imagine that it was not easy to see someone you love struggle like that. Especially when you could sense the anxiety within him. However, for you to see that it was something that he had to experience and learn shows a lot. Some people would not have been so patient to allow others to learn their own lessons in life. We often think our point of view is going to be the best, but when we allow others to take their own path then we see how much more there is to learn from other people’s paths. Sounds like you too both benefited greatly from the trip!

[Michael]

Hi Lyria – Thank you for sharing this. There is a part of your post that caught my attention:“As we were walking, Brady made a comment about the experience with the turn-off being symbolic for his career.” This actually speaks volumes about the power of the wander. You see, when someone steps into this process their inner world becomes projected on the landscape/environment. They are seeing their internal process unfold in front of them. As guides, we want to remain very curious about this and invite the client to explore symbolic representations. I will talk about this more on Monday. Great job!

[cindy_sell_schulte]

I’ve had a number of challenges in finding the time, and the right person, to try a wander with, these past few weeks, so I decided to take a different approach, and change some things up, so that I could apply the same material in a more convenient way, for myself, and for some people I have asked to participate.

What I find, mostly, is that people are busy. The two people I work with seemed like a good match, to do this type of work with, but setting aside a time that we could meet and do this became more and more of a challenge. I suppose that when I actually start coaching in this way, the recipient will seek ME out, not the other way around. That aside, my main intent for this time/applying this lesson and combining material, was to establish a workable plan that led to discovery and maybe even goal-setting, for my client.

So I started working on that.

Instead of doing a physical Wander, I decided to invite nature indoors, for those who have a limited timeframe and atmosphere. I have come up with two different sessions, and one of them goes like this: (this is the one I am probably going to work on making a remote session, with recordings and steps that need photo-documenting—some of my clients will most likely be participating at a distance):

(1) First I have the client ‘connect’ with Nature in a fun and creative way: I make them find a patch of clovers—on their own time— and make a clover chain out of them. This step forces them to search, find, create and have something to bring with them on their ‘journey’. They have to take a photo of themselves with it and send it to me. This has been fun.
(2) when we actually meet, I’ll have the client do breath work with the help of guided meditation using Nature elements in the backdrop. Since I already own several sound CDs for my usual meditation group, the main goal is to establish a connection of breath with the natural flow of the Earth—for example: the wave of water coming into the shore, cleansing the sands, and returning back out to sea. (The client brings a piece of paper/notebook and pen with them to this session, by the way.)
(3) Once the client deepens their awareness of breath—about 5-8 minutes of continuous cycling with this inner vision—I begin the Seven Breaths instruction, and they do that. I bring them out of the meditation, and have them narrow their list.
(4) Next I provide them with small stones and tell them to stack them, as high as they can, and then snap a photo of it. If I was doing this remotely, they would have to, again, seek, find, and do, forcing them back out into Nature. During this step, I will leave the coaching scene and have them fetch me, once they have completed, so they must draw on their own sense of balance, etc, experience frustration without an audience, etc.
(5) After the success of stacking, I would bring them back to their list, and have them jot down why they feel each way (in the words that they have narrowed down), and what they are going to do about it. I would refer to the idea that they already innately know how to create (from the clover chain) and also how to solve problems and work with what they have (from the stone stacking).

I am hoping to work this entire session with the two people from work, today, some of it on their own time. (mostly steps 4/5, but eventually I am probably going to record steps 2/3).
It seems like it could work. We shall see….

[cindy_sell_schulte]

It went very well. I am pleased with this plan as one of my coaching session ideas. I am going to work a distance client, with this plan, next. When I have more time (more than an hour, and more like a day or weekend) I am going to look at setting up a plan for ceremony, because I love the notion. Unlike the other short coaching plans, I want to do this one in person, only, and maybe try a small group of people (more like a workshop, maybe).

[Michael]

Cindy! I love how you’ve modified this to fit your career. Way to go! The more hands-on and experiential/experimental the better: IE stone stacking. These experiments create a dynamic experience that naturally leads to self-reflection and discovery. Always give time for nonverbal contemplation before diving into future application of the learning. Inspiring!

[Lyria Shaffer-Bauck]

Cindy, I love the way you are able to adapt the exercises to your circumstances. I know there is a strong part of you that gravitates towards creativity and it really comes out to play when you start working with your time and resources to create experiences for yourself and others. I would love to hear more about how you see this incorporated into your future career path. I think when we talked on the school bus you said this course would be informing what you currently do for a living?

[Cory Steele]

I had a friend from San Francisco stop by on there way back home, and we went through a guiding session together.
She was unsure of whether or not she should be staying in her current career path because she really enjoys the travel and adventure that comes from being a flight attendant. However, she also likes the idea of having something more stable and would like to settle in one place and really just have a family to go home to.
She told me an in-depth explanation of pros and cons for either side. We then sat in silence taking in many deep breaths. I asked her without feeling where do you feel drawn too. What brings you to the calmest state of being and presence. She told me that she felt called to the mountains here in Colorado. Not knowing why, but something felt like a strong pull to the mountains.
After some more silence and her own meditation on the matter she looked at me and said, “ I want to continue with this job while I still have my time to myself to be adventurous and explore, but I know one day after that I will be back here to have family.”
The whole experience showed me how powerful being present and letting go of the idea that we need to have constant control. It is possible to get caught in a vicious cycle of thinking what has to be planned out to an extend you miss everything that is happening right in front of us. Take the time to enjoy each day and allow things to flow and everything will happen just fine. If we try to control how things should be to such a high degree then we might miss out on everything else that is happening, or better opportunities for us.
It really showed me the power of just allowing and trusting things to happen. When we try and control nature then we stop it from happening, but when we allow life and nature to just be beautiful things happen.

[Michael]

Cory- Your posts reflect the transformative power in the presence of the guide. All you did was show up, listen, reflect, and sit with her. No magic tricks, no psychoanalysis, just presence. In doing so you provided her the safe container and permission to contemplate on her life. It’s really that simple, and its a huge gift! I want to encourage you to reflect on the decision points that you faced in your process with your friend. Take note of what you felt and thought, and why you chose to the collaborate with the moment (each moment) the way you did. Nicely held!

[Lyria Shaffer-Bauck]

Cory, this is a perfect example of less being more. You created the space for this friend to pull her own voice out of the chaos and find some clarity in letting it be heard! Often, we have the tendency to want to reach into someone’s else’s life and make the changes/decisions for them, but if we create the space, they may already have the answer. It sounds like your first “client” session was pretty impactful for your friend 🙂

[Joshua Maze]

I have been unable to find a practice client who I do not already have a personal relationship with, so my wife agreed to sit with me and explore some of what we have been discussing throughout the course.

I demonstrated some of the 360-degree exercises from early in the class and guided her through a 7 breaths exercise. At first, it felt really awkward and I was unsure of how to begin the exercise. It felt unnatural to guide my wife, but she allowed me to fault and fluster until I was calm enough to guide her effectively. The words the arose for her were not necessarily surprising to either of us, but I think she felt a revelation at naming the words and the truth that was behind them. It’s one thing to feel scared and unsure, it’s another to claim those feelings and say them out loud. While I really wouldn’t recommend any spouses or family members entering into a formal coaching relationship, I found this exercise to be a good ice breaker that led to a long over-due discussion between my wife and I about our goals and how each of us have been feeling lately.

The experience of guiding my wife taught me some very important things: First, I enjoy this. After over coming my uncertainty around the ceremony of the 7 breaths, I found that the guiding experience itself was really rewarding. Another sign that I am on the right path. The opposite side of that coin is that I need a lot more practice and experience before I can be successful in this. My wife was gracious enough to allow me to become flustered, my client won’t be.

[Michael]

Joshua- There is so much in this post! How wonderful that you have a tool that can deepen your understanding of your wife’s needs! Even though she is not your client, you are learning how these skills can be applied to your life and loved ones. Honestly, if you trace back into the lineage of these skills, that’s what they’re truly for! It’s all about listening. Imagine how life could be if our conversations with others (and ourselves) were soul-directed! I’m excited for you.

[Lyria Shaffer-Bauck]

Joshua, choosing our partners as test clients poses its own set of challenges. While this is a person we share everything with and they are likely our best friend, it can feel kind of awkward at first. For me, it felt like I was in a drama class, or some sort of fraud. This person is open and willing to allow you to guide them, but at the same time they know you are learning and likely don’t entirely know what you’re doing. Ha! I am so happy that this shared experience helped set the stage for some deeper communication and I look forward to hearing about your continued journey.

[Michael]

Hi everyone. Thank you for your flexibility last night. I know that meeting on Monday might mean that some of you cannot attend, I am sorry about that. I am excited and grateful for your participation in this course. Following your learning through this has inspired a next step…which I’ll talk about on the call!

Let’s take this to the next level!