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Long-Term Coaching >Participate in the Online Discussion (Jun 3 – Jun 14)
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14 Replies
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Initial Post
In reflecting on this module, I feel the completion of a circle or circuit. It makes sense to me why this was the last intensive of the program. With the foundations modules I was able to begin to show up as a coach and a guide. Through trainings on grief, trauma, brain/chance, gestalt/partswork, I was able to hone my skills as a competent guide. This training brought it back to coaching for me – how to seem and truly become a professional coach. This brought my mindset back fully to being client-driven and reminded me that even if I offer skills as a guide, that the work in coaching is always client-driven.
This differs drastically from my current job as a wilderness therapy field guide. Some clients aren’t driven enough to get out of bed or brush their teeth, let alone build relationships, look inward, and take control of their lives. So unfortunately, I haven’t had the opportunity to practice these skills as much as I’d like, so I’ll illustrate a scenario in which I could utilize these skills.
My scenario client is someone who fits into my ideal client criteria. He is a man in his mid-twenties, “successful” and functional to societies standards. He has noticed even though he completed college and found himself a stable career path, he lacks the feelings of meaning, purpose, and connection in his life, and he is drawn to coaching for those reasons.
Establishing the coaching agreement begins with the intake process, where I send incoming clients an intake questionnaire and a disclosure form to sign. Our first session begins with a brief review of the agreements/disclosures. Applying what I learned in the long-term coaching module, I would want to establish the issue and the want, inviting elaboration of what his life looks like to develop a substantial understanding of the big picture. This would include diving into his job, routines, relationships, passions and hobbies, times he has felt most alive and himself, and times when he retreats into unhealthy patterns. From there I would offer some guiding reflections, such as: I noticed you glossed over the questions about your relationships; or, I noticed you seemed disappointed when talking about your lack of time for self-care.
From there we would work toward deeper need, and then a goal for the session. Ideally the session includes a threshold experience building off of deeper need. Regardless, integration would include the construction of a plan. What is the destination? What are some milestones? How to we make the deeper need our foundation of the work to come? What is a mantra or ritual to empower the need/vision and the drive toward goals? What is a one-time action to take to signify a deep commitment to change? I would then follow up with an email outlining the session, what the destination and milestones are (adding some if necessary), offering ways in which my training/skills can help achieve those milestones, and offer a few long-term package options at different price point to choose from.
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Summary Post
This model of long-term goals and milestones is such a vital anchor for the coaching. Two things stand out to me that would be different with my work with clients after this module. One is that I would likely have more consistency with client by selling packages, and that clients would ultimately find more benefit from my coaching because of it. The other is that having this long-term plan can serve as a valuable tool for staying on track in sessions and lead to more concise and potent sessions with clients.
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David, thank you for your post. It’s very clear to me what kind of client is your ideal client and how you show up in that space. You’re following all of the appropriate steps to enroll your client in continuous sessions which builds trust and creates commitment. I remember talking to you about how your work differs from what we learn here and I’m curious if you’ve brought more of this into your guiding at work. Awesome job!
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Initial Post
After this module, I became clearer on what it is to be coach and how I want to show up for a client. I created a greater understanding of what I want in an ideal client as well as provide them a service to come to me continuously. I created a greater intuition of what service I can off to potential clients. Like David mentions above, the role as a guide is client-driven so I’d want the client to feel comfortable around me and my coaching style.
My ideal client would be someone who stops themselves from achieving what they want in life because of their limiting beliefs. Furthermore, they don’t live the life they want to (in terms of money, relationships, travel, fulfillment, purpose, etc.) and they come to me to seek guidance with breaking down the story. This person does not need to be a certain age but needs to be coachable, even if resistant at first. There would need to be a connection on both sides and trust. I’m glad to give someone the space they need to thrive and in doing so, it would establish I’m willing to show up for them in a place of vulnerability and potential skepticism.
This module taught me the power of what my time is worth and knowing that I’m of great value. I thought that asking for what I think is a lot of money would be challenging (which it was!) but after the breakdown of my services, I realized I’d be putting in a lot of time and effort for clients which would need to be compensated. -
Summary
I took a coaching call with a practice client who was interested in EBI. I thought our conversation went really well and we definitely connected deeply about nature. When it came time to ask me about payment (after the first free session), I completely babbled on about how the money wasn’t important and I could lower payments and so on. When I got off the call I was a bit angry with myself about the fact that I was very unclear with her about how payment would go. I was unclear with myself on continuing our relationship due to a question about money. I was completely triggered!! It’s taught me that the way I show up for a client is the way I need to show up for myself. One cannot exist without the other and when I start to coach more people, this is something I need to step into – the powerful of having conviction. It was great learning experience! -
I agree with David – this brings the entire program full circle and requires that we engage all our tools and new learnings in service of our clients’ needs.
A couple of things have always given me huge anxiety – the concept of being able to retain a client, such that they become long term and I can make a career of this and, just as Amanda says, how to charge for my time. However, I’ve discovered a couple of things over the last few months, directly related to both of these concerns. I now have 2 long-standing clients, one of whom has just asked her boss (who approved) to extend her 12 week contract so not only does my client value the support but her boss is seeing a difference. The second is a dear friend of mine, with whom I used to work, who I clearly invited that, at any time, should she want to, could end our coaching relationship. She said that she didn’t want to do that because she found our sessions to be hugely valuable. These are both paying clients and I am about to sign with 2 more! So, my fears were unfounded and I’m actually doing this!
Now, I can’t claim that every session leads to threshold, because it doesn’t but what is interesting is that each week I see progress and can tell that my clients are putting into practice the things that we work on in session. It’s as though the conversations we have and the questions I ask create the opportunity for them to have their own threshold experience during our time apart.
One tool I use in every session, multiple times, are the sacred questions and not because I’m stuck but because I see that the information shared has likely provided my client with a lesson. By asking a sacred question, it requires that they pause, reflect and then, without fail, they realize the power of that experience.
I also have a couple of clients at work with whom I’ve recently started doing work. I’m exploring Partswork with the one I’ve had 2 sessions with and have only met with the other one once so far so am just getting to know him. What’s interesting is that he is also engaged with an executive coach but feels he is disconnected from himself and nature which is why he’d also like to work with me.
1 year ago, I couldn’t see how I would be able to do this as my career but I trusted my vision. While it’s not my full time career yet, I have now set myself the intention to leave corporate America by August 2022 and be a full time NCC and I know that it will happen as I continue to add clients to my roster. -
Summary post:
When you are a formal coach, rather than just a Business Partner, there is great intention in how I show up for my client. While both my paying clients are working professionals, where they are at in the careers is very different and their personal lives are totally different. I have to be very present and client-centric to ensure that I create the right space and listen fully to the conversation to offer the right insights and ask the right questions.
I’m finding it hard, with these 2, to get to the deeper need as the type of coaching can sometimes really be focused on the work environment. However, what I have been able to do, over the last month, is to do our sessions outside, really leveraging nature and having them acknowledge the difference that creates in them.
It will never fail to be an honor to serve as a guide and to have 2 clients who want to continue working with me and to have 2 more who are about to engage me has exceeded my expectations and makes me trust that I can do this long term. It’s such a gift to be able to guide people to realize their greatness and beauty and really, at the end of the day, we’re just the vehicle by which they achieve this -
Response to David:
It’s interesting reading thru’ your post as I’m deducing this is how you propose to work with a client – have you been able to do a session which incorporates the threshold experience? Also, it’s interesting to read your approach with the big picture – I haven’t had to do that as I’ve been coaching people who I know or at least have a lot of background on – I’m going to keep this in mind! I am very solution-oriented and sometimes can be in a hurry so making sure I go at my client’s pace and really understand them and don’t have to get everything done in 1 hour is a great reminder for me – thank you!
Do you see yourself being able to incorporate the EBI methodology into your wilderness therapy and, if so, how?
I’m excited for the breadth of impact you might be able to have for people – good luck to you! -
Response to Amanda:
So funny to see you write about ‘babbling’ about payment – I can so see you doing that. It’s one of the things which is so beautiful about you – you give and you give freely. Figuring out how to have this conversation will be something for you to practice (I’m happy to work thru’ that with you…) so that you can offer the world your gifts while making a living.
I am proud that you talk about your self worth and that your time is money but also that you want a client who is coachable. IMHO that is growth in you over the last year. When I first met you, I think you would have given your time to anyone, however they showed up; I’m proud of you that you sense of self is such that you now feel that you are worthy of respect in the coaching relationship and would be selective about who you work with.
Keep giving the world the gift of you; you are such a light of love 🙂 -
Wendy, you have come such a long way and I am so grateful to have been a small part in your journey. It’s extraordinary what you have created in terms of your coaching career, but more so, the clients that you have positively impacted. In my experience with coaching the same person now for a bit over a month, I’ve noticed too that every session doesn’t have a huge threshold moment, (at least not what we’re used to going through!) I think the threshold experience doesn’t need to be this huge moment and can be a small, yet significant, discovery of something deeper within the client that they weren’t aware of before. In other words, they have discovered consciousness to a blind spot.
I think it’s great you’ve been taking your corporate clients out into nature and really channeling the NCC. Especially because they probably don’t get out into nature much during the week, it’s recognizable that their baselines would shift after doing a session outside. Your work with people is so inspiring and you are going to shift the image of corporate America in your work! (You already are! :D) -
Response to David: I can see how your scenario of working with a client that you may not know, invites a lot of information gathering. I like how you use your intake questionnaire to get a really good picture of your client’s life and how they see it. More importantly, how you reflect back their responses in order to show your client some things they may not have been aware of before. I went over my own intake questionnaire and I’m definitely going to tweak it a bit to get more info upfront so I’m not spending so much time listening to story in my first few sessions. Thanks! I also appreciate the exercise of getting the client to come up with a ‘one-time action to take to signify a deep commitment to change.’ Sometimes I think I let sessions go by, where I’ve just been listening to a client unload and I’m not even sure they want to make changes, or they have no idea where to get started because everything is overwhelming to them.
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Response to Wendy:
I get goosebumps reading your post! Full time coach by August 2022!!! Do you remember two summers ago saying that you can’t imagine ‘doing this full time and making money’? Your life was so different! The changes you made since our first intensive to our last, and since then are ASTOUNDING! Wendy, you should be really proud of yourself. I am. 😉
Another thing that stood out for me from your post was talking about threshold. I think I get so stressed out about having a ‘complete’ session, that if it doesn’t get to that point, I’m disappointed…and it’s not about me is it? Ha ha! Even when the time runs out, it doesn’t mean it’s over. Do your clients let you know if they have a threshold experience on their own and describe it? Is it because of something that you set up with them, like an exercise of some sort, or is it them just mulling over your words of wisdom?
Great job Wendy!! -
Initial Post:
I’m going to use my sessions with Wendy during that intensive, as I haven’t had any long-term clients thus far. I had been a bit apprehensive prior to this topic because I didn’t feel ready to be coaching on a consistent basis. I definitely didn’t have the confidence going into this week to start asking people to pay me hundreds of dollars up front. But, in a way, I guess we were all feeling a bit awkward about the conversation.
I’m happy though, that even with that mindset, everything came back pretty quickly and naturally. Because Wendy and I had worked so much together over the year, we had a pretty good understanding of each other. When it came to talking about Issue, Want, Deeper Need and Goals, the planning was able to come very organically. It was like rockstar and her hype girl! Wendy had a pretty clear idea of what she wanted and what she needed to do to get it. I think she just needed some support and agreement that she was on the right path.
Coming up with a plan of our long-term coaching was pretty straight forward. Wendy and I were both realistic with how much time we could really offer. (this changed drastically for both of us right after). Coming up with a cost was difficult in some aspects, but Wendy and I were both on the same page as to our worth and value, and our prices were almost identical. -
Summary Post:
Long-term coaching, it’s like an enigma. It seems so mysterious until you start doing it. And to set a monetary value of your skills is something that should be easy, but I believe our society has trained us to doubt ourselves. Until we really start working with clients and then you start being reciprocated for your worth, does it seem like a possibility.
As a coach, I feel like I can sift through a lot of the story and pull out what the client is trying to express, fairly quickly and concisely. I like to create an energy around the goal setting and planning so that the client is excited and motivated to reach their milestones.
One thing that was difficult was putting a price tag on your services. We know what we are worth and how this work can be life changing! But one thing that I find interesting is how much this can differ based on your environment. I know that I could charge $120 per hour here in San Diego and most people wouldn’t bat their eye. If I tried to charge that in rural New Hampshire where I grew up, people would think I was crazy. Asking for your worth shouldn’t be any different than setting an expectation of your desired salary at a regular job, right? Yet somehow, when you are selling yourself essentially, the pressure seems to be higher. Maybe it’s just me. And perhaps when I start having more clients, this will all come a bit easier.
