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LongTerm Coaching Jan 2019 Forum
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21 Replies
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Initial Post:
My long term coaching session is with a client I’ve been seeing since last April. we spent a good 7 months mostly creating her Partswork mandala, and then we’ve had about 2 and half months apart while she traveled and had some other things happen in life.I had a sense that we had completed a chapter of mapping together, and that the space occurred as needed for some integration to happen naturally. I brought up my feeling of our February session beginning a new chapter that might even look completely different than before, and really using this 90 min session together to celebrate what has happened and establish what wants to come next. She agreed.
I called in our counsels, spirit friends, and guides to support this next moment. She had laid out papers with reflections on them in each of the 4 directions and was ready for lots of creative modalities like movement as well. (we were over the phone.)
what arose for a while was Partswork, and after I reflect on it, it was in some ways a replaying of the Partswork we had been doing over our past 6 months, happening all in an hour. as in, these patterns we had been working now had a more familiar route through the new way, so they traveled more quickly and connected more.
The story of the parts went like this. She feels a super pregnant woman in the South, ready to give birth to a new offering (she’s working on developing a workshop), and she feels her 3 year old in the east crying. the 3yo says “I don’t know how to do it!” At first the cries reminded me of times in the past when she’s gotten lost in that part, but she actually brought herself out of it and was able to find another part to come in to soothe fairly quickly on her own! That itself is a big sign of progress to me because we have gotten stuck at that juncture a number of times before and it only lasted a minute today.
The mama says “oh honey you don’t need to know how to do anything. we are just going to be here.” Then 3yo changes, “I don’t know why they’re pointing at me but I don’t want to keep talking to the flowers while they are”. We bring soul in to learn more. A few other parts come to support the 3 year old (a colorful teenager who encourages her that her gift of hearing the voices of all living things is really cool, and a witchy woman who teaches her how to know which voices to trust – the ones who make you feel smooth and soothed and lit up – so you don’t get overwhelmed by all of them at once.)
Eventually we got to a point where she was feeling the fear from her child and the smoothness of acceptance and compassion from some of her adults at the same time, and we just stayed with that for a bit.
I asked her what becomes possible as she holds these both at the same time, and her soul lit up, shining, ready to dance, move, create. so we did that (lyrical, spirals).
Then another part came in, organizer, wanting to understand what was going on and stop the unknown from flowing so she could keep everybody safe.My client recognized that instead of getting rid of organizer so her soul could come through, something she’s lamented before, that she could hold them both, just like she had just done with the child and mama. so we spent some time holding the free flowing and the organizing, like holding a slinky from both sides and passing its weight back and forth between hands.
then we Brought soul in, to encompass and expand to hold all the parts that had shown up today. she felt that each part has its common ground in the soul itself. and remembered that during our parts work she had discovered her soul was the ground of the park, and each part was typically some tree emerging from it.
At that point something new continued to land. she didn’t have to keep working out conflicts between each part. She didn’t have to keep organizing and trying to figure everything out for it to be safe. She was already whole, and each part was integrated. she could feel the parts within the whole and the whole created by the parts. the moving, breathing, integrating system. and in this threshold of sorts, she really experienced that integration, holding all of it and seeing the individuals at the same time.
Her reflections coming out of the experience were that she wants to remember and practice checking in with her whole being, when she starts to feel anxiety from certain parts show up when she’s trying to make workshop decisions. she has some movements that help her reconnect to that place, like imagining the slinky and moving her hands with it. she also had an image of wings that both opened up and grounded down.
Of course the timing is uncanny as I just had a personal session yesterday all about learning to increase my window of tolerance for my screaming child by staying present with her (holding discomfort and soothing at the same time) and so when I asked her “what does that allow for” I was genuinely curious and felt relief in my own system to remember that holding both at once allows my soul to come through automatically and simply create whatever it is she wants to create at that moment.
Anyways, it’s my meaning-making out of this long term process that just like the slinky back and forth between two parts in this session, that’s what we’ve been doing throughout her whole system for 6 months. then there was breathing room, and now in our re-start, we kicked it off with an integration of all the work that had been done up to now. With a sense of “ahhhh here is how I can be with soul and each part, all at once, and feel the fluid connection between wholeness and pieces not being separate.”
With this tool and possibility now accessible, I believe her work will continue to open up and flow through her, in a pace resonant with her whole self and soul. and in the inevitable moments when parts arise, she has a built in practice for holding that part and its opposite, then returning to the whole soul in order to decide. I’m pumped to see where that practice takes her!
As far as long term coaching goes, her initial goal at the beginning of it all has been to figure out “what do I want”? That has been an issue for her because as soon as one part would voice its wants, other parts would jump in to yell, silence, argue, shame, etc. So it seems as though she has been needing this integration in order to be able to hold her wholeness- which includes all these parts, and trust the ground of her soul to respond to this question. I can see how it truly took this amount of time and these number of seeming rabbit holes away from that main goal in order to integrate enough to circle back and move forward with her whole self. It gives me a belief in the power of a 6 month package…. and a follow up integration session a few months later.
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Rachel, so cool!! Your own reflections on this seem so right on. To answer the question, “what do I want?” seems simple but is so dang complex. We would all be answering it if we could. It makes so much sense to me that it has taken this much time for her system to become more integrated. That is something that is standing out to me with this module–that even though we may have had a transformational experience through coaching, sometimes it just takes time and maintenance and ritual to allow the body/mind/psyche to catch up to itself and soften into a new possibility. Cool to read about that happening, especially with the slinky imagery!
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After thinking about this module as a whole for my summary post, and re-reading your post, it is just striking to me just how freaking beautiful this is. You wrote about how you asked your client “what becomes possible as she holds these both at the same time” (two seemingly opposing parts). And I’m thinking about that within the greater context of this work in general, that this is really so much of what long term transformational coaching is about. What becomes possible when you don’t have to get rid of some part of yourself, when you can accept yourself for who and how you are, when you can hold both at the same time? It reminds me of this quote by Carl Rogers, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
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Rachel,
This is so good! You obviously have taken partswork and integrated it so well into your practice. You have a strong grasp of partswork and getting your clients to work with it, integrate it … leading to self discovery and understanding.
Yes, the 6 months of laying the ground work was definately worthwhile. Your patience as well as your clients, paid off.
Wow, this is inspiring.
I love to see how we have all found our unique tools for NCC. It makes me smile!!!You rock!
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Initial Post:
I had an initial intake with a new client about a week before we had our Long Term Coaching module. During the initial intake, which is 2 hours long, after my client gave me a brief overview of the issues she was seeking coaching for, I had my client take about 30 minutes to tell me her life story. She actually began pre-birth and went all the way up to present, moving through family dynamics, relationships, jobs, school, etc. We had a brief period of reflections on the story and the woman who told the story, and then went into any patterns or beliefs that became illuminated from telling the story now, especially in the context of embarking on a personal growth journey through coaching. I give all this context because having this in-depth initial intake session gave me something to anchor into when I began to look at this relationship through a long term lens.
After our intensive, I set out to do a Medicine Walk as/for my new client. It was crazy! I made an offering to the land and asked for guidance and to be shown what I need to know for my client’s health, healing and growth. I quickly started feeling my heart pounding and like I just wanted to crawl out of my skin. I was in the middle of a thick forest and couldn’t see and felt even a little dizzy. It was the anxiety my client had spoken to. My walk took me past a tree with some markings (like from a spirit or power animal) and into a big circular opening surrounded by trees. I rested there for quite a while, catching my breath and just resourcing. Once I was grounded and rested, I felt the pull towards a tree that had two main limbs growing out of one trunk. Both equal in size and completely unique and holding their own space (not enmeshing or losing themselves). I knew this related to my client’s desire for healthy relationship in which she is more able to listen to, acknowledge, and honor herself even within relationship with another.
After this, I drew out a map (literally a medicine wheel map) for my client and marked out the place where I saw us beginning (in the West), and moved through the directions going through different passages and thresholds until stepping into the South, which is where I saw her named goals for coaching being. I wrote out some possible ways we could work with each other and the land in order to move through the wheel.
For our next session, I let her know I walked with the land and created a potential map, emphasizing this was a general guideline but that I really prioritize working with whatever is arising in the moment. We looked at the map together and discussed where she felt she was on the map, and any areas that were right on or not really hitting the mark. It was surprising that she felt the map was very accurate. She did, however, inform me she felt she was farther along, more towards the North than the West. This was awesome because we had something to reference in order to talk about the changes that have occurred even in the prior 2 weeks. I had this sense too that the time I took to walk with the land considering my client, and communicate to her a rough plan, gave my client something to hold on to and a sense of trust in me and in the process.
I have now seen my client every 2 weeks since then and it has been totally phenomenal how she really is changing and growing along the wheel. It has helped me so much to have something to refer to when I am reflecting on what’s happening for her and where we are headed. I can refer to the map and see how this is all coming together. And she told me that she has the map hung up in her room to help remind her of what she’s doing, where she wants to focus. For me, it’s as if I am able to surrender into the moment of the sessions that much more because I know we are being held by a larger process. And after our session ends, when I am in reflection, I can refer to the wheel or the stages of change and see where we are and what my client is working with in a larger context.
I feel like I will be trying to use this process with most, if not all, of my clients moving forward. I just did a Medicine Walk today for/as another client I am starting to see and it revealed to me a lot (I think — I will see her tomorrow to get her feedback on the map). I really am interested in working with people long term to support and encourage real change, so I am trying to target my business towards that. Starting out the coaching relationship like this, with the follow-up session that covers a map of a process, gives us the opportunity to talk about the natural process of change, how change works in the brain, and how change is so possible but will take a commitment and regular practice. I think these kind of educational conversations are so impactful for my clients. It takes the brain, their behavior and their way of being from something intangible and out of their control, to something they can understand and work with, taking back control over how they are in their lives.
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Reflecting again on your post, I can see even more the helpfulness of providing a map and a pathway forward. I’ve been starting to consider again what would a program look like for me to offer… and it’s essentially doing this medicine walk for my “ideal client” and posing to all of them the essentially same map and long term plan. it would get to involve community potentially, in a way that 1-1 coaching doesn’t as much, as part of the plan. I’ve noticed with some of my relationship coaching clients that taking the time to understand the issue and then provide them with an assessment 1. helps them trust that I understand their situation 2. helps them trust that I am the right fit to help them reach their goals. this sets up a container for us to flow in the moment more freely. knowing where we are headed. I hope to take these long term coaching principles into a program.
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Mandy, that is amazing!!! What an experience. I love how you went into the woods, grounded and connected with your client and her needs. The map just unfolded. You were in awesome connection and communication with nature, which extended to your client. How exciting to see the progressing around the wheel… Great coaching and a great tool of validation.
I may try this myself.
Thank you for sharing. You have a great great gift and I wish you the best! -
Mandy,
Holy crap, I loved reading about your experience here! I’m totally struck by how it sounds like you totally surrendered to the forces moving through you for the benefit of your client. It appears to me that during your medicine walk, you were fully being guided by what needed to be communicated for your client, but were also able to have enough outside clarity and independent experience to see the larger symbolism and direction which directly translated to the coaching relationship.
You wrote, ” It has helped me so much to have something to refer to when I am reflecting on what’s happening for her and where we are headed. I can refer to the map and see how this is all coming together. And she told me that she has the map hung up in her room to help remind her of what she’s doing, where she wants to focus. For me, it’s as if I am able to surrender into the moment of the sessions that much more because I know we are being held by a larger process. And after our session ends, when I am in reflection, I can refer to the wheel or the stages of change and see where we are and what my client is working within a larger context”. I am so jazzed that this process has proven to be such a useful and worthwhile framework by which you can navigate the subsequent sessions of this long-term relationship!
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Mandy, I am so appreciative of the depth you bring into your clients sessions. Your groundedness and attunement is so incredibly valuable for helping your clients navigate their process and I believe long term coaching will definitely be attractive to the folks you work with. You are really integrating who you are into the process, and with the tools we’ve learned through EBI, making it your own. You exhibit a genuine sense of care and wellbeing for your clients and that goes a long, long way with creating trust in the relationships you are building.
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Mandy, so cool and inspiring! I love that you got a chance to really practice this first session plus listening deeply on the medicine walk for the long term map, and really felt so much empathy for your client’s experience! It strikes me as a “new” tool to do these medicine walks and offer what I might otherwise call “an agenda” up front, that has to do with the educational conversations you mentioned, and then weave it into a coaching practice that is all about being in the moment and letting the client guide. It’s cool to hear you say that adding this map has allowed you to deepen even further into the trusting process. I love when you said: I think these kind of educational conversations are so impactful for my clients. It takes the brain, their behavior and their way of being from something intangible and out of their control, to something they can understand and work with, taking back control over how they are in their lives. Bravo!
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Summary Post:
It strikes me reading through the posts on here again that through long term coaching we are engaging in a large scale process of increasing one’s window of tolerance, titrating not only within each session, but on a larger scale titrating through phases, and even seasons, through periods of intense discomfort into periods of empowered growth. And that those seasons of relapse are really just a part of the larger process of titration, expanding our window of tolerance and our understanding even more within the larger process. Being able to hold a client’s growth within a long term process is like moving outwards in the fractal, looking down from an eagle eye view, holding an entire process (6 months or a year) through the same lens as one solitary session, mapping through severance, threshold, incorporation, grounding, resourcing, titration, expanding window of tolerance, and coming back through again. It is all a wheel, always a circle or a spiral, never a straight line with a final destination.
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Summary post: What a beautiful summary Mandy… “Being able to hold a client’s growth within a long term process is like moving outwards in the fractal, looking down from an eagle eye view, holding an entire process (6 months or a year) through the same lens as one solitary session, mapping through severance, threshold, incorporation, grounding, resourcing, titration, expanding window of tolerance, and coming back through again.”
I feel your poetry and keen perspective here… and much like integrating two opposites, the poetry seems to get closer to inseparable from the perspective.
I love the concept that actually we are always titrating, or perhaps even, inhaling and exhaling, breathing…. through pain and pleasure, through trauma and resource, through maintenance and relapse, through challenge and celebration.
To zoom out with an eagle eye view as your summary post has just encouraged me to do, and to really see the natural intelligence in the constant titration of everything gives me 1. more compassion for every experience (of mine and of clients and in life) 2. more trust in that it’s okay where it is (even if “it’s holding the breath”) and 3. that bringing awareness and intention to the titration (or breathing process) is a fundamentally simple way to encourage the breath to continue moving, for life to keep flowing.
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Initial post:
So, I am a little bit delayed here, my apologies.
I met with my client, whom I have worked with a number of times before. Most recently, she came to the session with concerns of dealing with death of loved ones and her responsibilities afterwards.
She had family members pass recently, which caused her to think about the loss of her mother. Going beyond the loss of her mother, was the issue of being a caretaker to her brother with medical problems. She was struggling with the current care taking needs along with the pending future needs. The statement of “why is it my responsibility?” He has a wife, kids and grandchildren.
After some discussion, we pinpointed to the pressing need… the responsibility of being a caretaker. The loss of her mother was set aside for future discussion. Creating the pathway for future, long-term coaching.
I was unable to experience a threshold with her, however, she did create/ have an experience when she got home. She sent me a follow up, noting how beneficial it was, how she was able to gain greater insight to her deep rooted issues with being a care taker, valued and heard.
She also kindly responded noting: “It helps in the simplest way by having these little “memories” that help trigger me tho think about things. Like previously your visual of the stream… with creating new paths vs. falling back into old ones. And from yesterday of the idea of “path of lease resistance”.We tend to meet at the coffee shop. But, I enjoy the fact that we can bring nature into our conversation, and that nature references are lasting triggers.
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Carrie,
I really appreciate how you are approaching the subject of loss from a few different angles with your client! It appears to me that this issue in her life is multi-faceted (As they often are), and you are giving her full permission to go into whichever dynamic feels the most valuable in the present moment. You wrote, “After some discussion, we pinpointed to the pressing need… the responsibility of being a caretaker. The loss of her mother was set aside for future discussion. Creating the pathway for future, long-term coaching”. By letting her dive into her role as a caretaker, it seems she can reassess how that part of her life with be evolving with this new change; from what you wrote, I’m thinking that the grief of the actual loss will be something that you two can explore later down the road. Thanks so much for sharing about your experience here!
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Post discussion-
So, I have been struggling with how I am going to actually make NCC my own. What is my unique take on the practice of NCC. I find that I am drawn in many directions… but, I recently had a personal sharing experience that really rang my bell.
I have a problem, or actually, an addiction to education… I just cannot get enough. Sometimes, I feel like my head will explode with all I am trying to jam in it. hahah. I started a yoga teacher program in January… (shhh, don’t tell my mom, she will just shake her head at me.) Anyway, during the yoga program, we were to teach a lesson to our classmate, it could be anything, not just a traditional yoga class. I began to reflect and think back to all the classes I have taken over the years.. my string of pearls I like to call it. I started to think about what brings me great joy and has a great impact on others. I decided to take my class on a shamanic journey to interact with their spirit animal. This is something I have done many times, with many groups of all ages. I love it every time. This last group, hit me particularly hard. Not sure why, perhaps, because I have been seeking the answer to how I want my practice to be. My classmates lit up, they loved it. They shared their experiences, and how the journey lit a light for them… giving them clarity. Their experience was aligned and paralleled their life. They shared with me later, that they went home and took their loved ones on a journey as well. It seemed the journey I took them on, was like planting a seed that pollinated a community.
Since then, I have been booked for 2 journey sessions. I also discussed taking my last client on a journey, perhaps an advanced journey to help her discover inner knowledge that she is having a hard time unveiling.
I have been learning and practicing shamanism for close to 20 years. It now seems completely natural to intertwine NCC with the shamanic practices I have been using all these years.
I am feeling inspired. Also… I gained some clarity on my yoga practice as well… I had originally thought to practice a medical yoga, still using my nursing… however, that no longer feels right. I plan to teach a nature connected yoga classes… incorporation! I am working on scheduling at a horse barn here locally… so cool, the owner has a practice using her horse for gestalt work. Did I mention incorporation???
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Carrie, so glad to hear that all of your education is be interwoven and helping you determine where to give your energy. Many strands make a strong rope!
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Initial post:
My longest term client is a woman who I’ve known for many years in a friendship role, and have been working with on and off as a client for over a year. As is apparently common in long-term coaching relationships, we had been working together consistently every week for many months, but in the last 6 months, have had a more intermittent and sporadic structure where she schedules with me as needed. This seems to work well for her, and she refers to it as “maintenance”.
Something that strikes me right off the bat with this client in the reflection of our long-term relationship is how we’ve developed so much intentionality over time; I think when we first started working together, I wasn’t so sure of how to not only set up things like her mandala and progress markers, but I didn’t fully have a strong overview of how we were intending to progress over a long period of time. Not to mention, I had no idea of whether this would be a long or short term relationship. However, even given all that, I really feel like we have developed a handful of solid, overarching themes and goals to address each time we meet.
In the last session that we had together, I was remarking about the flow that we now feel with one another after developing this relationship for so long. I’m aware of many intimate details of her life, and she feels comfortable sharing things that she can’t share with anyone else due to the trust we have developed. Given that, we are able to jump into the process so much quicker and more efficiently. As an example, she has been dealing with the emotional and logistical ramifications of a horrible falling out with her older sister. The whole dynamic is wrought with abusive tendencies (seemingly on the part of her sister), and painful dynamics which have been present for my client since childhood. She is now faced with a situation where she will be in the same place as her sister for a family gathering after over two years of complete communication disconnection. Knowing all that I already do about this dynamic and my client’s feelings and tendencies around it, we were able to get right into a resourcing practice in order to best prepare her for the meeting. She left the session feeling strong, confident, and supported by the intentions she set out during our time together. I don’t believe that we would have gotten to that place in one one-hour session if we hadn’t had over a year of foundation building under our belts! So cool to see what dedicated time and attention can sow the seeds for.
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Hannah, it was so great to read about the connection you have with your client. Obviously you’ve been working with her for a while and didn’t know whether or not your time with her was going to be long term or short term; regardless you set a cornerstone in your relationship, built on trust. Honestly, it’s hard for me to believe people will dive into long term coaching if they haven’t set that cornerstone. I’m sure it happens, but I think I would be much more likely to build rapport with a coach I like for at least a little while before I decide to commit to a long term relationship. That’s just me of course and I’m only projecting; some people may be ready to dive in even if they don’t know a coach that well. My point being, we will commit when we’re ready to and it might take time to get to that point and we need to give our clients the space they need to determine that. I think I might be a little put off if I had just met a coach and soon after they’re talking about a relationship for the next 6 months. I’d be like “hey, why don’t you buy me a drink first before we get engaged.”
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Summary post:
I really enjoyed reflecting on my own experience with my longterm client, but I think I got the most out of reading everyone else’s experiences with theirs! I echo what Mandy wrote in her summary: Viewing the ups and downs that a client goes through feels very important and crucial over the span of 6 months or more. I know as a coach, it can be a bit frustrating to witness some forward movement with a client’s progress, and then see them slip back into contemplation or pre-contemplation, but having a more zoomed-out perspective really drives the point home that that vacillation is essential to their long-term progress. I know I have much less attachment to outcomes as time goes on with a client because I’ve seen the arc of how things can move, and I recognize that sometimes change can only truly be observed in hindsight.
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Practicing Long Term coaching with my client came at a perfect time in his life as he is moving into a major transition. Just by emphasizing the word “transition” as I reflected back to him what he has been moving through in his life, it was like a light came on. He stated that he had never really considered “transition” as a point of reference and has just always been a person that is on the move; always looking ahead to the next project or exciting new thing. With this new awareness in mind I invited him to sense what it was like to actually BE in transition. He said that felt like something important for him to do so we devised an activity.
He said that he really enjoys hiking and loves to push himself to make good time on the trail. I invited him to utilize this passion in a new way for this activity by picking out a reference point down the trail about 30 yards away and walk as slowly as he could toward it. He grinned and said “that’s going to be really hard for me!” But he was up to the challenge and he set off on his slow-mo journey. I noticed he was fixated on the reference point and kept his eyes straight ahead for about the first 10 yards and was still moving relatively fast. I paused him and asked what he thought about taking his shoes off and going the rest of the way barefoot, which he did.
Then his gaze became fixated on the ground so he could see where he was stepping, but it did slow his pace significantly. I challenged him one more time and invited him to walk blindfolded. He gave an uncomfortable laugh, but agreed. First, I had him pause and look down the trail where he was headed to take a mental picture and to use that picture as he started walking again. He exhibited a lot of trepidation as he started off and expressed his frustration every time he teetered or stepped on something uncomfortable.
His tension was building quite a bit so I invited him to pause, breathe, and lead him to open up his other senses. I could see the tension in his body release with every nuance he described with his other senses. I know he often has a hard time connecting with his body so I pushed him a little more to describe the sensations his body experiences just through sound. This proved difficult for him at first, but eventually he was able to describe the subtle changes in pressure he felt when he heard/felt the birds and trees. At this point he was much more relaxed and grounded in the moment, so I told him to envision his destination again and begin to slowly walk toward it.
It was amazing to see the difference in how his body moved as he navigated his way down the trail. I saw his feet step in all the right places, avoiding rocks, sticks and roots. Even his foot positioning changed from a heel strike to a mid-foot strike. His posture was straight, with hardly any teetering at all. I told him to stop once he felt like he was close to his endpoint and he came within about 10 feet of it. I had him remove his blindfold and he was amazed by how close he came to his goal! I shared with him the changes I noticed along the way and how cool it was to watch him walk exactly wear he needed to. And also noticed that when he first started he would cuss or groan when he stepped on something, but after he relaxed and started to step on something, he paused and adjusted without agitation.
We reflected back on the activity by using the sacred questions at each interval of this process. The most profound insight he gained was wrapped up in this statement, “the more comfortable and confident I became as I walked, I began to focus less on where I was going and more on how I was getting there.” He also came to see that he has historically tried to avoid the stress of being in transition by hyper focusing on what was next. He recalled that as soon as he put the blindfold on he felt very vulnerable and afraid; not so much of the current situation walking blindfolded, but the bigger picture of who he is within this life transition. His focus shifted from what he needs to get to his goal to how he needs to be to get to his destination. His mantra became “I have the capacity to slow down, relax, face my fear, and enjoy my journey as I navigate each moment toward my destination.” I told him I would take this mantra and take a few moments to plot out a long-term map based on the things we’ve discussed and the insights gained thus far.
I gave him a “map”, which was a circle, indicating his starting point and the ending point he identified as starting a new business endeavor within the next several months. In the center of the map I wrote in his mantra. He was already pretty clear about what the next logistical steps where toward his goal so I pinned those around the circle, but then had him fill in what he felt he needed, or how he needed to be, to get to each step. Trying to fill that in all the way around the circle felt too overwhelming for him so we just focused on the first “yay-stone.”
I felt like this was a pretty good start to a long-term coaching relationship with this client and my so did he. He felt like the fact that he was able to slow down and relax was successful in and of itself. And that by doing so he felt like he could think more clearly and feel more confident moving forward. He expressed some frustration in not being able to fill in the rest of the gaps on his map; I simply pointed to his mantra and he smiled and nodded. “Rushing has really only caused me more aggravation” he said, “I don’t know why I do that.” At this point we were nearing the end of the session so I told him that this might be a good question to hold on to for the next session. He said he actually wanted to put the question on his map. I was a little concerned about ending the session on a possible “negative” note, so I asked how he felt about doing that and he said he actually felt calm because he wasn’t judging it. He was able to just be in the moment, seeing the question like a stone on his path and trusting himself to navigate it.
Akin to my client’s personal empowerment was his deeper awareness of how easily nature was able to soothe him by simply opening his senses in a way he hadn’t before. Though he enjoys outdoor recreational activities, he realizes that he doesn’t have a close relationship with the Earth he is trying to care for. This kind of dissociation is reflected on page 206 of “Your Brain On Nature.” Selhub/Logan devise that “Ecotherapy requires mindfulness, not simply a contrived get-back-to-nature effort with conscious thought. Although contact with nature may have antidepressant and antianxiety effects akin to some psychotropic medications, it’s essential to recognize that nature cannot be abused or taken for granted, and that humans can benefit from it only so long as they truly care for it.” My client, like many people, sense a deep, innate value in being in nature but they haven’t become conscious enough to be with nature. And so this relationship is something my client wants to deepen as he moves toward his goal over the next several months and beyond. I couldn’t be happier about that!
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Summary Post:
During the Long Term coaching intensive I don’t think I was in the right mindset to really engage the material. I had been in a new space of really focusing on the moment and where it would take me instead of seeing 6 months down the road. But after listening to the audio sessions again it made much more sense; long term coaching isn’t one or other, as in, it’s not set the goal and every single step…it’s set the markers to the goal and be in the flow between them. I think it’s hard a little hard for me to empathize as a coach because the change I’ve had in my life primarily came by way of conscious time alone in nature and certain books. I don’t know the experience of having been coached and so I tend to lean toward my own experience and try to integrate that into my coaching process. I know the time it’s taken for me to change and I understand the commitment to self that is necessary for that change. A huge part of that commitment was allowing nature in, and allowing my inner nature to come out. Nature herself was my coach and still is my primary coach. But after a year of being coached I see how exponentially I’ve grown and it has been something very new. I’m still learning what that’s all about, but as I grow in it my main priority is to help my clients learn to trust nature first as they learn to trust me as I do my best to reflect nature to them. Hopefully as they do that they will feel that much more confident in entering into a long term coaching relationship.