NCL2- Session 4

[Sheri]

Struggling and decided I needed to name it, in hopes of getting a handle on it. I am in massive avoidance mode. I have blocked time out to work on parts to soul work, all week, and keep finding ways to widdle away that time on meaningless things to clearly avoid moving into this work. Have avoided scheduling with me coach this week too. I think there is obviously big fear here. Of, what I don’t know I will find? Of, my controller part not thinking there is a need or will lose control? Wow. I will get through this and calling it out here, I am hoping will help get me over that simple first step of getting started. Hiding from this and all of you is not helping so shining a light to make some movement and hopefully dissipate that fear, at least to make it small enough to work through. Thanks all. Will report more soon!

[Daniel Brisbon]

Hi Sheri, I want to start off by sharing my gratitude and appreciation for your openness and honesty in this online discussion post. Sharing doubt and frustration is usually the first step in dissolving the tension and struggle behind that feeling. I would love to connect in person and talk about this with you, rather than trying to share my insights on this forum, if this is still something you are sitting with.

[coachtamara]

Sheri, good job of naming what is going on with you! In some of my recent parts work with my coach, I got in touch with fear, and also with doubt. I had been practicing energetically creating a boundary for the land that we own to keep trespassers out. I realized that my fear and doubt are like internal trespassers on my vision. Last week when I took time to drop in and be fully present in nature, the experience was so magical that I could sense my internal trespassers getting on board with my vision. It was so cool!!!
This week, I found myself avoiding the homework, too, even though I loved the material. I have been finding it really hard to sit down outside for 10 minutes. Last week, I tried doing it just before I leave for work at 7 am while I’m warming my car up. This week, I just couldn’t seem to get ready in time. My sensory awareness time has been rushed, so therefore not very deep.
My coaching work has been awesome!!! In this week’s session, two new members of my Vision Council showed up: a Native American Elder, and a Tree Spirit. They bestowed gifts on me to honor the progress I’ve made on my vision, and the Tree Spirit welcomed me to the clan. They told me it’s time to celebrate, and that this joy will help me maintain my momentum. Last weekend we cleared all of the junk away from the new labyrinth we built, making the space feel even more sacred. I have invited 3 people I know to bring their co-workers out to do some labyrinth team building. So that feels great! I feel like my Soul, Warrior, and a part I call “Amarah” are working together in service of my Vision. I am loving this class and the coaching so much! It is really helping me move forward after feeling stuck for years!

[Sheri]

Thanks Tamara, for your reply and for your encouragement! I got some good work in yesterday. Spent time conversing between Soul and Child, Soul and Lover as I build up to having, what I expect to be more difficult discussions. Both conversations were very informative. Especially with Child. I really was picturing that differently but realized it was my other parts picturing Child in a different place, but through the discussion was able to see where my Child is actively involved in much of my moving forward. This is such a good practice. The self awareness it is bringing is eye opening, comforting and positive growth.

Might need to make a road trip to check out your labyrinth. I love labyrinths! Heading to one today.

[Lisa Dahlgren]

Hello Sheri and Tamara,

I am late in joining the class, but just got up to speed this weekend (well, mostly. I haven’t done ALL the reading yet) and hopefully will be joining in at least for part of the time during the next call. I have really enjoyed all that Michael has presented. The part work is not new to me, I have been studying and using a part work model called IFS for about 7 years. I find it an amazing way to help myself and to help clients. It just seems so authentic.

This time of year it can be hard for me to stick to the things I want to put into my daily life regarding self improvement. Every time I turn around it seems like there is another challenge to what I was planning to do for myself. Whether it is because of a 33 degree drizziling rain to hamper my getting to my sit spot, or cloudy days triggering a sense of wanting to hibernate, or just the general sense of everything being harder when one has to put on and take off so many clothes to just go outside comfortably, it is just so easy to say “ah, heck with it.” Today we had a sunny sky, however, and that has really helped.

You both talk about the coaching you receive and I am hoping to start that sometime in the next few weeks. I have never done coaching and so wonder what it will be like. From what I am reading that the two of you have mentioned, it sounds like it can be very helpful.

I hope that I will be able to “meet” you this coming Thursday. I am looking forward to doing at least part of the class in “real time”, rather than needing to just review the video.

Take care.

[Lisa Dahlgren]

Hello again, everyone. I thought I would be able to join you all for Session 5, but now I realize I will only be able to be there at the beginning of our time. Still, I look forward to being on the call live for at least a little while.

I really like parts work, and am lucky enough to have been doing it for quite some time. I haven’t done the mandala on a daily basis. I only do it when I am faced with parts that have tension or seem to be in tension with other parts. But doing the mandala helps to bring me into the meta position and open inner space for contemplation, and lovingkindness.

When I do the chair work of Soul to Part I find it surprising some times what my part(s) indicate to me. I might start out thinking that a part will tell me about some certain aspect of myself. But if I am patient and just interested in the part, and ask it questions that evoke more about it’s own felt experience, it tells me more than what I “think” it will. Lately, I have been working with several parts of me that seem to not want me to feel a vision, or sense of purpose. They bring into my awareness a sense of not being good enough, and helplessness, discouragement, and feeling as if I do not have enough skills. I can logic my way around those parts, but prefer to not do that right now. These parts remind me of the little discussion I thought I heard on the last recorded call, about parts that seem to not work in the service of the system. These parts of mine seem on the surface to not work in the service of my system because so many of my parts like vision and moving with vision, and the parts that are uncomfortable with vision can squash my feeling of vision and purpose. I do not fully understand these parts of mine yet, but I have learned through the chair work that they have more needs than other parts of me fully appreciated. I have also learned that there are very good reasons for these parts to not be on-board with me experiencing a sense of vision. And the upshot of their reasons are very much in line with them working in service of the system.

Vision council is something that I really enjoy and want to practice even more. I so enjoy the sense of being supported by a vision council, and really enjoy the sensations I have when I am working with a client and pay attention to my sense of my own vision council and hold in awareness the sense of their vision council. For me, things really change a lot when I do that. For one thing I really notice my breathing changes. It slows down. The next thing I notice is that I feel so much less hurried-maybe that is being more present. Then I feel a sense of softness inside me. When I look at the other person they actually look different to me. I seem to notice a few more details or notice them in a different way. I feel as if I also get a sense of their life time-line, a sort of deeper awareness of them coming from a long line of their ancestors that connect me to them in a personal way. Kind of like suddenly realizing they are my long-lost cousin or something like that. My desire is to stay with vision council 24/7.

[Tracy Cash]

I’m enjoying reading everyone’s comments. Sheri, I can relate to the avoidance. When thinking about each part being an individual with it’s own light and dark shadow, and having many parts, I feel heavy and overwhelmed about the idea of exploring each to understand them. It also feel really vulnerable to have those conversations – even with my coach. There is a lot of emotion and I don’t stay with it very long. I’m sure I will in time as I see the value. I can also understand expecting the Child to have a particular view and finding a different one. I’ve notice a less loaded package there for myself than I anticipated.

Tamara! Amazing new parts that you discovered! As Michael listed some examples, I realized that some of my email and other titles speak to parts within me like the Nature Lover and Mountain Spirit. I hope to find others as fun as you Tree Spirit and Native Elder. It reminds me of Shamanic and other work that I did years ago and miss. This course is a way to try to get back to some of those connections.

Lisa, I too have missed joining the class. I’ve been there all weeks but one, but not on time. I have been working at the start time and rushing home to join ASAP. I’m happy that I’m not working the next two sessions and can join in the check in with everyone.

[David Fontaine]

First of all I would love to thank all of you for your continued honesty and openness in these discussions. We’re certainly dealing with some very deep and personal areas here and hearing about your experiences not only keeps me going with my efforts but it helps me to be a little easier on myself when I feel like I am lagging. I’ve always prided myself on becoming an expert in anything I get involved in and it seems I forget that one does not begin anything as an expert. I too have had some avoidance of the practices for this session and it seems to be centered around me feeling like I’m not doing it right more than it is about facing the results. I’ve sat down a few times and as I try to let the practice unfold I’m left staring at all of my parts on pieces of paper not feeling anything really, let alone knowing how to map them. This kind of experience leaves me a little unmotivated to try again but I’ve been plugging away. I did have one good mandala snapshot day, so that’s a start. Sheri, totally feeling ya here and I know you will find a way to navigate the fears. Whenever I’m facing fear I ask myself what I fear more….the things I’m claiming are scaring me? or not being able to grow because of them? Tamara, it’s so great to hear your coaching is going so well! It sounds like you’ve had some major breakthroughs. This motivates me to pursue the coaching that is being offered. Part of me has been hesitant to start with a coach right now because maybe my doubting self will find ways to tell me how I won’t be able to become a coach. But I have way more parts that are excited and curious what takes place in a session and what my future life might look like as a coach. It’s almost like they’re saying to me “we want to see what we’re going to be doing the rest of our life!”

My sit spot routines with a focus on sensory awareness and baseline were going incredibly well until a couple weeks ago. Nashville has been absolutely socked in with pouring rain almost every day. As I sit and write this, I’m realizing I’ve let a part of me dictate that the conditions must meet some kind of expectations in order for me to go out there. I guess I have my empty chair session plan for tonight, haha! All in all though I have been trying to apply sensory awareness to different parts of my day, not just sit spot and I have noticed a maturing there.

I’m struggling a bit to comprehend observing someone else’s council. I don’t necessarily know what the person’s vision is or who is in their council. Has anyone else tried this or had luck with it? I would love some enlightenment on this!

[Daniel Brisbon]

Hey David, thank you for sharing about what has been coming up for you as you really dive into your own personal work in this course. Avoidance can be such a challenging bedfellow as it is usually a sign that there is need for growth and change within ourselves, but it is also a great opportunity to see what exactly is going on inside of you that has the opportunity to change and shift!

And when you are experiencing avoidance throughout your day it is a great chance to practice the Sacred Questions: (Just like the questions you shared in this post)

– What am I noticing?
– What is this telling/teaching me?
– What does this mean to me? How can I grow through this?

And as far as reading other peoples Vision Council, that can be a bit nebulus and tricky. As I have shared with some of your other classmates, the focus should first be on the INTENTION behind trying to see another persons Vision Council. For me, it is usually to create and connect a deeper awareness and understanding of that person. And so that is what I start with. How can I be connected and listen to this person on an even deeper level that I am right now? How can I be fully present with this person?

And then from this intention, see what comes up as far as reading their Vision Council. Going straight to “seeing their Vision Council” can put us into our heads and out of our bodies which can be counter intuitive. So start small and simple. I hope this helps and I look forward to hearing more of your insights.

[Lisa Dahlgren]

Hi David,
I am sorry we haven’t met yet, and I am not sure how much of the class call I will be able to do this week, so may not even meet you then. But I wanted to respond to your question about the vision council and observing someone else’s council. I think that I am understanding you to say that it seems one question you have is if you should know what the person’s vision is or who is in their council as a way to be open to sensing their vision council. I don’t really know how it will be for you of course, but I am happy to share with you my experience, because I am now doing this a lot. I was never good at sensing individual voices or sense of individual energy around me when I first tried to feel my vision council. When I took my own vision council as a more combined sensation of support and connection to a bigger vision, then I started to feel it around me. I then was able to use the same “reasoning”, so to speak, as I sat with other people. When I just assume they have a vision council that surrounds them and their council is also connected to the same bigger vision as my own vision council, I then can sense into them having a vision council. To me it seems that it is the connection to the bigger vision that makes it so that I sense into this. I hope me saying what I have is helpful for you. And I would be delighted to hear more of your thoughts on this and on any part of your journey about this question as you continue exploring.

[Nadine]

Thank you all for sharing. In some ways it is reassuring to know that we are all meeting and greetings our limits.
In the last couple of weeks I came across this performance artist, Marina Abramovic, and the work she did in 2010 inside MOMA in New York reminded me very much of the heightened awareness I started to experience the more I spend time in my Sit Spot. Marina Abramovic sat for 736 hours inside MOMA, looking straight into 1,545 visitors eyes without saying a word. The work was entitled The Artist is Present. During the first days that she sat at MOMA, she heard the same noises that we all here inside a packed museum. People walking, milling about, speaking in hushed tones. After a few days, she was able to perceive the cars passing outside the building. A few weeks later she heard the bumps from cars driving over one particular manhole cover in the street. I find that amazing.
The Sit Spot has been my most consistent daily practice the last few weeks. Most likely because it is the most accessible to me, as I am already comfortable with it. Right away I feel grounded and at peace when I am sitting in nature. Sometimes I practice the 7-breath exercise, or bring my Council with me, but often I just immerse myself in sensory awareness, noticing the dips and spikes in the baseline. That is easy work for me, as I am naturally doing it. (And yes, I am noticing a trend here!)
I have noticed a lot more resistance around exercices that are harder for me, that make me more uncomfortable, and/or that I do not fully grasp, such as the Empty Chair exercise, or Partworks. I realized now that I have made few honest attempts to break through my resistance.
On a different note, doubts are still doing their share of destruction any time I let the Vision speak and dreams come out. I am becoming more aware of it and better at squashing that little voice, but this is going to take a lot more practice, and a lot more re-programming.
I have decided to enroll in the NCC program and I am super excited about it. But I found myself pondering on “what is the question I am trying to answer?”. I now realize it might be very different than what I intended to do. The impetus behind enrolling into the NCC program was to transition out my current corporate position within 2 years. Now though, I seem less attached to this outcome, but rather focused on creating a life I love.

[Lisa Dahlgren]

Hi Nadine,

I am so glad to think that you will be doing the NCC portion of EBI. I just completed the Foundations Intensive at the beginning of Feb. and really enjoyed it. Like you said, it seems to be things we can take into a business if we want, into our live vision, or into creating a life we love on a daily moment-to-moment basis. Let me know if you have any questions about the Intensive, or if I can support you in your journey in any way.

[Ash Tallmadge]

Hi All,
I spent time reading all of your words here and was impressed and touched by the honesty and deep work it seems everyone is really stepping into! I have not been able to attend the webinars because of work, which really bums me out, but at least I get to listen and share a little here.
I relate a lot to what is being said here throughout, challenges and growth and curiosity and confusion, all of it! My coach and I have talked several times about what kinds of things arise when you start to really practice awareness, and sometimes it is not easy to see. For me, the sit spot routine has been an awesome daily practice. I’ve used it as a sort of supplication, a greeting of the day and a time of gratitude. As I open my awareness in this time I am inevitably filled with awe and joy at the possibility of being alive and being capable of sensing so much with my physical, emotional and spiritual bodies. What an amazing gift.
Working with my parts has been a journey in evolution. As I have gotten more familiar with them, it has felt easier to speak through many voices without so much tension and conflict. I recognize that when I didn’t acknowledge my parts, they had to speak with much more energy to be heard, and this created a lot of internal discord that I brought into the world. This is easing rapidly now. It’s a much more friendly and compassionate space in my head.
I’ve used my partner as a guinea pig for my practice of tuning into anothers vision council, and what I’ll say is what another of you said, that I can’t seem to distinguish what I think of as the “vision council” from what I’m more sure are the other’s “parts”. I’d appreciate recommendations for this. I’ve tried to really stretch awareness here but I can’t seem to get there. I find myself focusing so hard I stop paying attention to what she’s saying at all. 😊