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Participate in the Online Discussion Partswork (April 2019)
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43 Replies
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The client I had a session with to practice partswork was an amazing experience that showed me how partswork can be used and its benefits in a session. When I first met with client we took some time before we got into the clients issue to go over what being a practice client meant and what they were agreeing to by being a practice client. I had the client review and sign my disclosure form after I went over a few of the highlights on the form. It was good to take this time with client because it set some expectations not only for the client but for me as well. It gave me the chance to talk to the client about how we may use nature or the gym to work through the session. This opened the clients’ eyes to some other possibilities in my services and let them know that the type of clothing they wore would be important to the session. Taking this time before getting to the issue showed me how important going over my disclosures with client is and the benefits involved.
By disclosing to the client that it was a practice session opened the doors for me at anytime during the session to say that I would like to try something and gave the client a heads up that I would be implementing something into the session. This took a lot of pressure off me and felt like it did the same for the client. During the session I feel like how partswork was implemented was very beneficial. A few of the things I feel like I ran into or that was challenging was how much time we had to work it in. Time was challenging because in an hour session I had to get to the deeper need, explain how partswork works, interviewing the parts we wanted to speak to, implement it, and talk about homework between sessions.
The client I worked with already had an issue to bring to the session which made the timing a little easier to deal with however as we know the issue that the client brings is not usually the deeper need. Helping the client seek the deeper need was so powerful and fun to watch. Not sure that client noticed but on multiple occasion I really wanted to ask closed questions and also bring personal story into the session. It was interesting and almost fun to have these things come in and work through them and still being able to fulfill what the client needed. I did have a personal friendship with the client in previous year which I wasn’t sure if would block anything in the session, I believe that because trust was established the client felt safe being present and disclosing on a deeper level.-
Ben!
Me too! It’s so hard for me not want to relate my personal story all the time. Have to remind myself often of who’s agenda.
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I can relate to this on so many levels. I have always given advice, related everything to my personal life, told stories about my experiences.I don’t know if that is a selfish quality to have or not, but learning to truly deeply listen and put ego aside has made me such a better listener. I’m not trying to compare or focus on me in any way, even though some thoughts may slip in, I try to push them out. Good for you though, look how far you’ve come =)
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Ben! This was amazing to read. Thank you for being so open and honest in this space. I really align with what you said about you being able to invite the client to do an experiment and dabble with the idea that is could potentially not work. It really does take the pressure off when the client understands that you’re still learning and if the invitation doesn’t align with them, you can always try something else.
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Hi Ben,
I really liked that you used the ‘Practice Coach’status to give you a sense of freedom to try new stuff! This is so cool–it reminds me to be authentic and just show up as we are and not get stuck in an idea of who I am! -
Hello, Ben, I loved reading your post when you posted it, and again re-reading it now. I loved it because you speak in such an open way about your work. I thought it was such a great idea to use the boundaries around your relationship with the client to propel you into work that might be so new to your client. It really seemed to set the stage well. And then it seems like it also helped you to keep things at a great place in terms of working as a professional instead of as a friend, and for being in that great space of just trying new things without too many expectations.
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This post may be a little similar to my Gestalt post. Mostly because the same client I used Gestalt with I also used Partswork with.
What I found interesting is that when I used Partswork with Gestalt I had a tricky time at first finding a middle ground with the client. They didn’t seem to resonate to much with the Partwork at first. Yet, when I tried the second Gestalt Experiment I used some metaphors to represent her “Parts” which were objects in nature. This was really cool and I started to find out more on how she processed things visually.
Then the second challenge came which was to get her out of her head into establishing more soul directed conservation towards her issue. When I did Partswork with this all of sudden the magic kicked in. She started registering the metaphorical objects as people and with more repetition we started getting to the answers to her deeper needs.
So cool!
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Ben!
I love it! What metaphors did you use? You are so good at bringing the nature-connection in. Love it! I too, found it challenging to get my client to stay in that level of soul-directed questioning.
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Yea Taylor thinking back on it now….
She was having relationship conflicts so we used standing objects such as trees that were grounded relationship figures. There were two moving parts in your relationship that needed to communicate so we picked out two bushes that had seen some heat related stress from the weather…so these bushes were the parts in conflict.
At the end of the session she was pretty much sitting in between both bushes and we were doing the typical partswork interview process.
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Keeping the client sole directed and sole minded has been challenging, but I also feel that it is part of the fun as the coach to keep the client in their process. I have found that the explanation and what we are trying to accomplish through partswork is extremely beneficial for the client.
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Thanks for sharing Ben! I think it’s amazing that you were able to create a language for your client that used the natural environment. Sometimes we are so in our own heads that words can actually feel disconnected. To bring the client into a soul driven experiment using nature is such an enlightening result of NCC!
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Hi Ben, Cool that you got to use so many of the techniques we are working on, and that you decided to keep with it even when you were questioning how it was working for your client. It helped me a lot to read about how you combined the techniques together and with nature and how that all worked so well. It was really easy to see the whole progression of things in the way you explained it. Thank you.
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Initial Post 5/27/19
Partswork! I had my first outside of EBI practice client experience in Partswork. While it was more than one session – it will be actually be many sessions… it was excellent. I am just learning so much in every one of my practice sessions. What I learned in my first actual session interviewing the parts is how challenging it can be to actually get people to embody their parts. I’d love to learn how to adapt ways to continue to be nimble in sessions. For so many years being in corporate, creativity definitely wasn’t accepted and definitely not encouraged. With this, I am realizing how hard it can be for me to “go with the flow”. But, every session I am pushing this and letting go a little bit more. By the end of the first session, my client was saying how excited she was to actually begin to break through some of the things that have been holding her back for so long. The energy she had was amazing and left me so, so grateful to be doing this work. Partswork has already changed my life immensely and I am jazzed to bring it in to my regular clients.
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Taylor,
I feel the same way Partswork is turning into a multi-session experience with the clients I am introducing it to. They are finding it very beneficial and seeing the transformation happening. I really feel like I want to make it a big part of my practice. It has been difficult sometimes to explain to clients what they have to do and how to work with it but I think once it clicks it becomes much easier for them to understand and connect.
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Taylor,
I love this post! Coming from a corporate world I completely understand what you mean about creativity not really being valued, and now we are going down a path where a major factor of success is using our creative sides.
How did it feel for you to bring Partswork into a session after our last intensive? Is this something you will try to work with all of your clients?
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Hi Taylor! I appreciate your post so much! I’ve noticed that parts work can seem foreign to people when you first throw it out there but once they understand the dialogue, it seems so much less challenging for the client to speak as their parts. I understand the struggle of picking up different parts who are interrupting. Something I like to do is to check in when I think another part came up. If the client feels like no one else showed up, I’ll relay what they said back to them. They could still say that it’s not a different part, but at least you’re being proactive in your listening skills and making sure that you’re on the same page with them!
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Taylor this is great!
I think the embody part is also challenging since the conversation is mostly in the head. Most of the time I don’t think the client is fully inside with the parts as well.
It’s cool how you are getting to go more with the flow and being more creative with your sessions. Keep on chugging over there!
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Hi Taylor,
I am struck by how limiting it must feel to be in corporate and so glad that you can be more of your true nature when working with clients. I, too, love partswork, and am celebrating that you find it so liberating for you, for your work, and for your clients.
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Summary Post
I absolutely love parts work and I have been experimenting with it with many of my clients. I have not done a full parts interview yet, but I have been able to make the work I have implemented with clients relevant to their given situation and been able to give them homework to explore deeper for our next session. I feel that partswork is one of those things that just about everyone can benefit from if they use it as a daily practice. It has been fun seeing this modality work in people lives!
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Hello everyone!
So good to read all the posts. I am behind the times in getting this post out there. But there was a lot of hockey watching that I couldn’t miss. And now my Blues have won the Stanley Cup for the first time ever. So I can get back to slightly more productive things than wringing my hands and jumping up and down singing “Gloria”.
Parts work. Love it. It really is transformational. It seems to get at everything that I look at as being helpful. It helps to generate perspective and that “metta” position. It de-pathalogizes (is that a word?). It breaks difficult things into manageable parts. It is intuitive. It can be done by clients outside of sessions once they get the hang of it. But most importantly, clients feel the shift inside of them, helping them make almost instant changes and learning to rely and trust themselves.
I first found a parts model when I was introduced to energy medicine and shamanic practice. When I watched a demo of it done by Richard Schwartz (a different model of parts but incorporates a lot of the same things), I felt that what I witnessed was a soul retrieval done in an office setting. And I was hooked. I have never been sorry that I have dedicated most of my training in the past 8 years to learning more about parts work.
Just like every model, though, it isn’t for everyone who walks in my door. In part because our culture doesn’t embrace some of these ideas yet, some clients feel they are not comfortable thinking of parts. Some still become overwhelmed with their parts or feel they have evil parts of them that want to make them suffer or harm them. But using basic listening skills and being mindful of where clients are at means that when it isn’t right for them we just use other things to help calm their system, work toward their goals, and accomplish things. Later, as things get easier I will cycle back into part language and invite part work again. So sometimes it is just waiting and helping in other ways, then the part work is just right.
Sorry I didn’t participate sooner in this, but glad to get connected to you all now.
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Hi Lisa,
I appreciated what you say in your post about Partswork not always being right –for that client, or at that time. i also appreciated the idea of circling back to parts later in the session, in a later session altogether. Right after the Partswork Intensive, I had the tendency to want to use Partswork with every client in every session–just to try it out. Of course, some clients were not ready, and I had to feeling I was pushing a bit to get one client to go there. Initially I felt I’d not done a good job, but then realized the client just wasn’t ready to go there quite yet. In a later session, she has become more familiar with the idea of parts, and now asks herself “I wonder what part of me is talking right now?”, so it feels like if I just hold the container, the client will get curious enough about what’s going on with their own process and begin to allow the concept of Parts within them to emerge, and to be heard. Thanks for your post.
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Like Ben Marchman, my session was also in relation to my other post, so if the stories are similar, that’s why.
For my session, when I began entering Partswork I was a bit nervous the client wouldn’t understand the point of it or how it can work. I was hoping she would be open to it and comfortable enough to put herself into that headspace, and thankfully she was and did. I will say that from our cohort being in Boulder, and doing all this work, we are pretty open to all of this experimenting, but trying to explain and work with someone who has no knowledge of these things, it’s a bit intimidating at first.
Partswork went really really well though, and I was surprised how powerful of a session it became. The parts that came forward was Nurturer and that part needed to do some communicating with the Soul. There was a back and forth conversation between the two for a good 10-15 minutes, emotions were high. People don’t realize all of their different parts and what they truly may need for their Soul to feel full and whole. I really enjoyed experimenting with this for our session and asked how it made the client feel. She had never realized she had this part of her who needed to rest, and it was very reassuring for her to acknowledge that part.
I will absolutely be using Partswork in as many sessions as I can. I believe it puts our minds in a different place, seeing how many parts make us whole, what is serving you and what isn’t, and that you don’t have negative or positive parts. I cannot wait for Partswork 2!
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Summary Post
I had a chance to try to listen to the parts work audio from Starhouse. Most of what I listened to was too soft or too static to understand. Drat. What I could hear was really great, and I realized I was getting even more of what Michael was saying than as we did our own parts work.I have been working the mandala-style of parts work with one particular client. It has been a little bumpy, which I put down to me not quite making the transfer to a mandala style, yet. I am used to what feels like, for lack of a different word, smaller parts.
But despite it feeling bumpy to me, my client is hanging in there and utilizing her parts to see in particular, “what part or parts get between Soul and vision” for her. She goes back to that question repeatedly as she works her mandala. Then she offers some of those parts that keep coming between Soul and vision something she feels they are looking for. For example, a part of her is always striving and in particular strives to finish her schooling. When that part is in the driver’s seat she gets overwhelmed and does things that end up overwhelming her. So she offers that part recognition and appreciation when it steps between Soul and her vision of being in ministry. It then becomes a help-mate, rather than take over.
It has been delightful reading your posts. I so appreciate us all doing this together. See you soon at Starhouse!
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*Summary Post*
After reading this discussion a week ago I did some more pondering about Partswork and how it will play a role in my business.This is a path I want to travel down further and learn more about, because I would like to bring more awareness to the subject on my retreats.I think we spend so much of our lives trying to get to know other people, that we don’t take the time to get to know ourselves. We think we know ourselves but we don’t actually know how complex we can be. Learning our parts and having them interact with each other is a huge part of this that I’d like to enlighten my clients on. I really appreciate this subject and will be exploring it further.
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Hello all! So my first real experimentation with parts work actually happened unexpectedly. My brother was going through something really difficult and traumatic, bringing up a lot from his past. I told him about parts work before when I came back from Colorado and he was interested in doing parts with me. Nonetheless, this one morning he was going through something difficult and I felt as guide I had to invite the possibility of parts work.
So…. without asking for me to be his guide and creating a coach to client invite, I jumped in and asked if he’s be open to do parts. He said yes right away and him and I talked with his parts for about 40 minutes. The time truly flew by and I was in a tunnel with him. My mom was also there and at one point one of his parts spoke to her about what they were feeling. As the facilitator I reassured my mom that this is not the Soul of Jared speaking, it’s his Little Boy who needed to say this. I interviewed two other parts, all creating a hectic mental space for my brother because they all had not had a conversation before. Once we got to a close on the session, he told me he was astounded by how good he felt. He told me that he’s never done anything like that and would like to work on parts more. As his sister I was so glad that I could serve him in a profound way, but as a guide I knew I wanted to establish more of a guide to client relationship. Ultimately, I was really happy I could help him but I do know that when I work with him or anyone else I need to establish that coach – client verbal communication. Parts work is my favorite!! 😀-
Amanda, first of all, it was such a pleasure getting to know you and welcome you into our group! This is such a great way to utilize PartsWork. Even though there wasn’t a formal coaching agreement established, your relationship with your brother helped in the decision to work with him using these tools. It sounds like it was a profound experience for you both. And for your mom. It was good that she was able to see the process as well. I hope that in the time since you originally posted this, that you have continued to use PartsWork in your practice and have been able to offer support to your brother.
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Summary Post
As I mentioned above, Partswork is my absolute favorite piece that we’ve learned throughout EBI. That is not to say I don’t love everything else, but partswork was especially magical. I was able to connect to soul and to nature, understanding how they both play such a tremendous role in my being, as well as many others. Partswork allowed me to fundamentally understand why I could so many polarizing feelings all at once. Love, fear, serendipity, unworthiness; all are feelings I have had at the same time. For so long I could not understand why or how, but Michael said that parts are parts of the whole. Wow! It made so much sense. It was truly beautiful and relieving to be able to put my feelings into words, categorize them into names and identify their personalities, their wants and needs. I find it a bit humorous that to allow myself to become stronger with my parts, I had to label them. I needed to use my human logic and give these parts names to identify how they were showing up for me. It sounds so simple yet it’s so complex. One way nature played a part in identifying my parts was the exercise we did out on the land. I used trees to represent the different parts of myself and consciously making my parts tangible beings became so powerful I couldn’t believe what was being said. Fully embodying my body and mind as one of the parts, I was able to understand why they are there, how they serve me and what their wants and needs are. Unbelievably transformative!-
Amanda,
Great stuff here!
It’s amazing how you tapped into seeing how Partswork allowed you to fundamentally understand why you could understand many polarizing feelings all at once. Love, fear, serendipity, unworthiness.
What moved me the most about your post is this – “I used trees to represent the different parts of myself and consciously making my parts tangible beings became so powerful I couldn’t believe what was being said. Fully embodying my body and mind as one of the parts, I was able to understand why they are there, how they serve me and what their wants and needs are. Unbelievably transformative!”
––– This is soooo rad! What a phenomenal realization and deep understanding!
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*Initial Post—-Partswork*
Hey all,
I just listened to the audio again, and yes, some tracks are pretty bad (worst= #1,2,9).
But I did get a lot more out of what Michael said than the first time and it led me to feel that I only scratched the surface with my client in asking “What part of you doesn’t want that?”, and then trying to have her assume roles and have parts converse and discover their voice and their needs. This all feels more challenging over Zoom, but maybe it was more of me trying to “do Partswork” with a client who has trouble slowing down and going inside as their baseline. But we did have some success identifying a couple of key parts and new awareness was created for both of us around what was driving some old behavior patterns.Using Partwork on myself has been new and challenging, and humorous, and has provided new information.
I have seen how strong my inner Critic is, and how I have just taken so much of its stuff for granted, and how hard it makes it for the other parts…the Critic has made it hard for me to even admit i have some parts–like an Addict, or even admit that i have a Critic!This also feels very funny at times. And it is good to get to THAT place of getting some distance from my own process– as Mandy said, putting labels on it helps–and then finding some lightness to the reality of what is. I am still feeling like a newbie working with the Mandala,and i admit my 17 Year Old Kid Part has been very active lately, causing much procrastination in all things EBI. But I do look forward to getting back to actively working with it, continuing to refine and add to it, taking more snapshots, having more conversations and interviews with Parts that are up, or those who want to be…
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*Summary Post*
Thank you for all your posts and replies. It has helped me see where I am in all of this. I am still working to get honest with all the parts inside of me–to accept them and not judge them so harshly. As I do this work, i hope to become more skillful at helping clients go to that placemore easily, and begin the work of self-acceptance that partswork is based upon. As I work with clients to help them see that ALL their parts are all valid and worthy of voice, I can begin to re-frame how I view my parts a bit and see them all as essential, and valuable, pieces of me. The more I can internalize this, the better I can show up for my clients, modeling that authentically because i am living it.
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Summary Post:
I dig partswork! I really enjoyed it on so many levels personally and professionally. I feel it can be so transformational and empowering. I always go back to Michael mentioning this brings everything to light so that you have a choice to make. Without that choice, we simply cannot make one. On so many levels, I see parts as an integrated part to my work with clients as well as myself.
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Ben F
It was nice to see how allowing it to be what it was, a practice session, made more space for experimentation. All the pre-session talk is extremely beneficial. Having the client be aware of the clothing and what to expect as far as the location is nice habit to get in to. It does seem like with partswork more time/ multiple sessions will be needed because of the extent of information involved around working with the different parts. Having the time that you did sounded like it was still very beneficial for both you and your client. It was cool to see that the previous dynamic where you were friends did not impair your ability to coach. I have noticed it can be trickier if you are more involved with the client, and it sometimes requires us to back away out of a particular role. -
Amanda,
Thank you so much for sharing! That is amazing that you were able to be so fluid and jump in to help your brother like that. Even though it was not a formal setting it didn’t mean that it was any less impactful, and the information you have learned is helping you out in more than just a professional setting. The fact he was so open to it too made it that much more effective! I loved reading this, and it sounds like a really impactful thing that happened for your brother, as well as you.
