Partswork 2 Discussion (June 22-July 2, 2018)

[Megan Theoret]

The CORE ISSUE work that we uncovered in the long-term coaching module was a really big revelation for me. It helped me (finally) understand the road blocks I keep seeing my clients come up against. Whether they are coaching clients or website clients, I see so many people struggle, get stuck, and sometimes even walk away from a vision they have. I can tell that something is getting in the way, but often it seems they don’t even understand what is going on or stopping them. Though I want to, I haven’t known how to help in these situations. The partswork was the perfect follow on to this issue for me, because it showed me exactly how I can help someone illuminate what is blocking them, and if they want to, how they can make a change.

I worked with one practice client for ~6 months to help him launch a new business. Our work together was going very well until we hit a block. He couldn’t articulate with specificity who his ideal client is. I kept coming at it from many different directions, but also had the sense that pushing him and telling him he wasn’t there, was going to be detrimental to his confidence and our trust. I got to a point where I had no idea what to do about it. Eventually, I decided to stop trying to get him “there”, and accepted that he believed he was ready to share his vision with others. He took his written copy for his website out into the world for feedback from friends. They gave him the same feedback that I had been dancing around for months – he wasn’t clear on who his audience is. He took this as feedback that he should reconsider what he’s doing. It was a major setback. I encourage him to do some market research and start interviewing people he really wanted to work with to better understand them. This was around the time I had told him our free sessions would end. He wasn’t able to afford to pay me, so the relationship ended.

It dawned on me in the long-term coaching model that it was his core issue that was getting in the way. The issue that came up in our first session was his fear around claiming what he really wants. This, I believe, is his core issue. Looking back, I could see how this was the block with his ideal client. He was afraid to claim who he really wants to work with – at least this is my hunch. If I could do it all over again now, I would invite some partswork to explore what was going on, and what the conflicting parts or beliefs were preventing him from expressing what he really wants.

I can see how important it would be to have a framework for partswork before diving in, and I am even considering whether I might invite my new clients to create their mandala as a first homework assignment.

[Elizabeth Wangler]

Hi Megan. I love your idea of having clients create a parts mandala “before diving in” with them. I too see the advantage of beginning coaching with Partswork. From your idea, I could see creating this as a stand-alone element, perhaps even pricing it separately or offering it as a workshop. I can imagine this creating enormous value and that it would highlight the need for long-term coaching. It might even attract clients for long-term engagements. I’d be open to exploring this together if you ever want to.

[Nick Galluzzo]

Hi Megan,

I too like the idea of first creating a mandala before getting too deep into the work. The process of creating a mandala is enlightening in itself, then using it to work through an issue is icing on the cake! Having created a mandala myself previously and then expanding upon it at EBI, I can say that I definitely learned a lot about myself during that process and why I get stuck myself, as you mentioned your client does. Then in EBI using the parts and creating dialogue between them blew me away. I can see how this process of creating a mandala and working through issues could easily transfer into many sessions and a lot of work. Thanks!

[Brad Bankhead]

PartsWork Initial Post – Brad

I’ve not met with a practice client since returning from our intensive, but I will draw from experience guiding in the fishbowl, as well as my deeper realizations of how I would use partswork as a tool in trans-formative experience in any setting. Let me start with the work of developing a mandala. I think, as someone already stated, that doing this work early in the coaching relationship provides a platform to work from again and again. I’ve spent sometime today reviewing Plotkin’s Maps of the human psyche in the four aspects. For myself, one of the first experiences that got me into identifying parts/voices was using the inter and intra-personal circular view of the Self and sub-personalities. Looking at the parts of Self within the framework of the four quadrants: North, South, East, West holds some richness for coaching. Starting with the facets of Wholeness: North- Elder, healer East – Sage, trickster South – Wild man, woman and west: Soul guide, wanderer. So, going around the wheel and in ceremony what images (animal, earth feature, etc.) seem to most authentically represent the essence of that direction. What wisdom do these representations hold for you? What is their voice? Likewise taking another trip around the wheel looking at the opposite woundedness of the “parts” rescuer and enablers of the North, addicts and blissheads of the East, victims and orphans of the South and monsters or false heroes of the West. Again, looking at the egoic traits represented by each of the directions. In other words, combining the work of the parts mandala, with the view of the characteristics of the mature and immature aspects of the Self as revealed in the inter and interpersonal maps of the human psyche as explained in “The Wild Mind”. I think this yields a great deal to work with that incorporates various aspects and skills of the Nature Connected Coach.

[Megan Theoret]

Hi Brad,

You know I love the Wild Mind model. This is the way I was first introduced to parts work as well. It’s played a big role in helping me to see myself, my underdeveloped and overdeveloped parts, and choose/reassign parts that aren’t functioning in the way I want them to. I really like the piece around using the archetypal mature parts to hold the container or lead the way for the less mature parts. And the insight that when the wounded parts of one side of the wheel are acting out, to cultivate the part on the opposite side of the wheel. So for example, I have found it so beneficial when my wounded child (victim/orphan) of the South is activated, I call on my mature North part (nurturing elder) to hold space for the wounded child. This has been one of the most effective tools I’ve found for helping my wounded child calm down and feel safe again.

I like the way you are suggesting to allow people to connect with the part/parts of themselves that fit into the archetypal energies of each direction. I think that is a nice marriage of the partswork model, while also bringing in the wisdom of the medicine wheel and four directions, and some of the patterns that seem to appear over and over again within the human psyche.

[Elizabeth Wangler]

Hi Brad. I’m so happy that you shared this map concept of using the four directions to explore parts. I’m not familiar with it but now want to become so. Employing the four directions and the medicine wheel aligns beautifully with working in Nature. Exploring parts in a wander makes perfect sense to me. I can imagine this helping the client feel into it, discovering parts much more easily than if they were trapped in the mind. Thanks so much for your enlightening post!

[Brad Bankhead]

Hi Elizabeth and Megan,

If your interested in the Four Directions Model (map) of the psyche go here: http://www.wildmindbook.com/ Scroll to the bottom of the page for copies of both the intra- and inter- personal versions of the map. You will also find other available resources for working with others in the area of recognizing and dismissing loyal soldiers. Thanks for your insights and complimentary messages about our training, partswork and this model. I too think it has a lot to offer in service to our own “wholeing” process and that of others. And, it certainly lends itself to acting out our rituals and holding ceremonies using all of our senses. Maybe Ivy could create a continuing education discussion on this topic.

Brad

[Kairon Yeng]

I think that is brilliant that you incorporated the Four directions in the Partswork. Sometimes Partswork can be so broad that it overwhelms the clients and having a model helps them to create a mandala that they could make sense of. Also by doing that, we could actually dive into some nature connectedness exercises, finding sensations in the body to create the map that is present. By doing so, clients don’t get to be in their head very much and with that their parts might be more ready to show themselves. Also potentially, this can be a powerful diagnostic tool of which parts are in which directions. It might help us to identify where each parts are in their developmental cycle. Thank you for sharing!

[Nick Galluzzo]

Hi Brad,

I had not thought to combine the parts work with the compass/quadrants like you suggested, and think its great! There are definitely parts about myself which are more engaged in the East – the quadrant of new beginnings, new ideas, etc just like there are parts that tend to show up more in the South, West, and North. I think this could be a great way to work with a client. I am wondering how you can bring awareness to a clients parts to help them move around the quadrants and stimulate change. Questions that come to mind are: What parts of you come forward during new experiences, new beginnings, etc? What part of you can move you into the South? What part of you reflects back on your journey in the North?

This is great! Thanks!

[Megan Theoret]

SUMMARY POST

My experience facilitating partswork in this last face to face was one of my favorite coaching experiences to date. I love the freedom of the partswork model and the way a totally unique and unstructured map of the psyche emerges for each person, and I also love the WILD MIND map, which provides more structure and organization. My biggest challenge with partswork has been feeling like I have a sense of someone else’s mandala, or even my own for that matter. I like the structure of the medicine wheel because it helps me hold on the parts and feel a sense of orientation within the mandala. I may experiment with a blended model of these two methods and see where that leads me.

I imagine working with people in face to face nature settings, and this is a tool I would love to take into these moments, especially to help support severance and stir the pot when blocks or challenges emerge. I don’t have a clear sense yet of how I will integrate partswork, but I know that its a tool I want to carry in my belt, and I intend to invite opportunities to emerge where I can put this tool to work.

[Elizabeth Wangler]

Initial Post

I had the pleasure of considering this post from the land on which I quested last October. I sat in the same spot by the creek, again pondering my parts. As I recalled the ceremony I did to honor and repurpose my challenging parts, I considered how I’ve used Partswork since then. I became aware of my tendency to most readily notice parts that are challenging, both in myself and in clients. As I gazed upon the rivulets of water flowing in the creek, I remembered the Grand Canyon example and how important it is to reinforce new behaviors and thought patterns rather than focusing on what is unwanted.

I began thinking about new ways to use Partswork to emphasize positive change. In the past, I’ve used it to help clients notice what’s happening when troubles arise so that they can choose new thought habits and behaviors. I haven’t helped them delve deeper into how these parts serve where they are going.

For example, my long-term practice client had bouts of snap-back that he would describe at the start of some of our sessions. We would look at which parts were in the forefront and he became aware of how he could choose differently now and in the future. Looking back, I think if we had worked with parts even more at the outset, he could have been more conscious of what was happening in the moment. Or, perhaps he would have more consciously guided himself with parts that serve the soul, avoiding snap-back altogether. I can imagine a point where the higher vibration of each part actually begins to pull us along.

Taking in the beauty of my natural surroundings, I noticed the perfection and harmony of it all and I realized that, in contrast, humans are quite obsessed with changing and fixing things we don’t like. I wonder what it would be like to help clients fully accept themselves as they are, without needing to change or fix anything. I realize that we have this opportunity with Partswork.

How different a client’s experience might be if, early on, I guided then into discovering that they have every part they need, right now, to become whatever it is they are working toward. We could begin a Partswork exploration by looking for parts that will positively serve the deeper need. Perhaps a beautiful flower symbolizes the mandala with each part as a petal. If a client uncovers “critic,” for example, I could ask how they feel about it. If negative, I might ask if a flower has negative petals. Then, investigate what the sacred flip of this part is and how it serves the soul.

Of course denying that challenges exist would do more harm than good. The point is to keep reminding clients that they are whole and complete with a beautiful array of parts they can employ for positive results. Guiding clients into choosing names for the parts can help ensure that they don’t carry negative connotations. I’ve noticed that, for me, animal names are neutral and at the same time expansive. “Turtle,” for example, carries a richness of possibilities that “hermit” never will. Spending time working with a client to name their parts could spawn even greater awareness and familiarity of themselves.

Because Partswork is so deep and involved, it seems almost impossible to do it justice without sessions devoted exclusively to that. I see why long-term coaching and Partswork 2 are side by side in this module.

[Brad Bankhead]

Hi Elizabeth,

What an awesome opportunity to return to a sit spot where you quested to consider partswwork, or anything else for that matter! And your observation about how nature is perfectly what it is and how the species tend toward integration and synergy. It really is the perfect metaphor for how the various aspects of our Self seek to work together for the good of Soul. In fact, growth toward the experience of wholeness begins with the recognition of the Wholeness already realized at our Core. I think that’s what you’re saying when you talk about guiding clients to become aware of the needed resources within. To learn to call upon these resources at particular moments in our life. And I agree, that creating meaningful descriptors or images that personify these parts make them all the more available to us. I often ask for the North’s Grandfather Spruce of myself to shelter and watch over the play of the innocent Earth Brown Boy. Or welcome the ferret from the East who treats each new day with an opportunity for newness and adventure. Finally, just your reflection on the perfection and harmony of our natural surroundings allows me to breath a good sign of relief and let go. All seems like the right place to experiment and grow. Thanks Elizabeth.

[Kairon Yeng]

“How different a client’s experience might be if, early on, I guided then into discovering that they have every part they need, right now, to become whatever it is they are working toward.”

This is so essential to the coaching process! I feel like this is the little goal I have as a coach and as a human being. If I could help my client realize this in the session then they have something to take away in our work together. I feel you are absolutely on point with how as humans we want to fix things. There is value in fixing but truly, some things just cannot be fixed but can be transformed. I feel that nature has this recycling process that nothing will ever be wasted. The difference is that with a conscious innovative human intervention the recycling process can be carried at a quicker pace. Therefore, like coaching, it is an intervention on how we can reawaken the parts that is destructive to be recycled into a constructive creative purpose. This makes our coaching a sacred facilitation of renewal and transformation.

Also, I like how renaming the parts to have neutral connotation can be an empowering process. This allows full acceptance of all of the parts that they are all present to help and assist the soul to fulfill its vision.

[Brad Bankhead]

Summary Post – Brad Bankhead

I will echo Megan’s sentiments, my recent work as both a coach and practice client with partswork have been my favorite opportunities. And, doing the work in a natural environment makes it even more powerful and real. I find it really helpful to use naturally occurring objects to represent parts of ourselves. And how and where we locate those objects in proximity to tree trunks or boulders or water seem to hold significance as well; or at least give us the opportunity to notice and acknowledge. “I see that you placed the pine cone nearest to the base of the tree, does that have significance for you somehow.” Or, “I noticed that you placed the blossom representing your wounded child in the South quadrant of the circle, do you have any thoughts about that.” At this writing, I’m preparing to co-lead a short weekend quest for a group of men; and some major themes keep dancing around in my field of vision. I think of the steps of the hero’s journey. I think of the rite of passage.I think of our template for coaching. And, I think of the various parts of ourselves. I think of the Mystery of our transformation. And yesterday, I gathered a brown shell, left from a locust who had moved on to the next iteration of itself. And I thought of Moses being asked to shed his shoes and recognize the sacredness of the ground on which he stood. And I think of myself, and my experience with EBI, and my fellow sojourners and how we have evolved and transformed. And I’m aware that all these themes are being illustrated for us everyday in the natural world – how naturally and fluently snakes shed their skin, sunset gives way to night, caterpillars becomes butterflies and acorns become oaks. And we know the value of gratitude and presence and intention. May we each assimilate our learning into an authentic and coherent whole that blesses all sentient beings!!!
“Look down the path as if seeing your past and then south over the hazy blue coast as if present to a wide future. Remember the way you are all possibilities you can see and how you live best as an appreciator of horizons…..”
MAMEEN – David Whyte

[Kairon Yeng]

Initial Post

I think Partswork is the best tool in the severance phase. It brings an immediate awareness of what we are working with. Especially when we enact or role play the parts, we draw ourselves away form identifying with those voices. In fact, the voices are now recognized thus being empowered to be take ownership and responsibilities. With that, I think it is very healing when we understand that we need not to shame certain voices or inflate certain voices just because they align to the conditioning standards that is usually societal or familial. When there is awareness of the dynamics, we can start bridging the polarities of the parts. I personally think parts exist because of the need for differentiation and for individuation. And in that process, each parts start to carry different stories that might be polarizing or be supporting each other. This is why I usually find that in our human experience we sometimes have difficulty making decisions. The process of Partswork is actually to allow space for different voices to emerge and resolve any conflict so that the voice of the Soul is remembered and can take on the leadership role. I feel that the voice of the Soul is essential to get any work done. And this is the core purpose of severance. When the client starts to be aware of the voice of the Soul that is intrinsically different from the voices of the parts swimming in severance, we start diving into a deeper process. And I believe we experience that when the deeper need is being named.
There is a shift in the baseline.

I think Partswork can be a challenging aspect to be incorporated in the earlier sessions with clients who have no idea what is coaching and guiding is all about. I remembered the first time I was introduced to Partswork and I felt awkward role playing, naming the parts and speaking from the parts. I can sense how clients can potentially be overly serious in this process and not be open for experimentation. This makes me understand that there are probably many different ways to go around Partswork. Having awareness of some sort of a mini-mandala as a rough picture in the severance process might help me as a coach to identify my clients’ issue, wants and needs quicker. Perhaps Partswork might be the most powerful reflection tool there is for coaches.

Because I did not see any practice client in this process. I would like to recall my experiences that we practiced during face to face. I see a powerful value in actually objectifying the parts – that means finding large tangible objects to represent the parts that are actually alive in the process. I found interesting that the mandala could be as small as having a couple pine cones and the mandala could be as big as the whole land of Starhouse! The opportunity to work with Megan actually had us going to landmark to landmark as the parts present. I feel that on that scale, there is more somatic processes going on and the representation of each landmarks offer became more vivid as we dive deeper into the stories. I had a powerful experience which nature comes to live in our session and it was very transformative. Thank you Megan for that powerful experience that you were willing to put yourself into.

To sum it up, Play. “Be a child and be curious” was something that I had to remind myself of when it comes to Partswork. I remembered as a child I had to name my toys and speak through the voices of the different characters of my toys. I think this can be a valuable experience for our clients who feel lost in their head and thinking mind. Maybe we can rekindle parts of their childhood that were lost and reawaken the wisdom in the innocence.

[Nick Galluzzo]

Hi Kairon,

I love what you said – “The process of Partswork is actually to allow space for different voices to emerge and resolve any conflict so that the voice of the Soul is remembered and can take on the leadership role.”

That is so well said and I can’t agree with you more. Thank you for sharing.

[Heber Howard]

Kairon, I love your idea of Partswork being a powerful reflection tool for a coach. I very much agree with you that new clients might be a little put-off, or at least hesitant, by Partswork. The idea of using Partswork as more of a reflection tool seem like a great way to get the client used to the language and get them primed for more future sessions more focused on Partswork. Also, I think what you say about play is a very good insight. I think it can be so easy for Partswork to feel confusing and it can really lend the client to get very stuck in their head. Giving the client the direction to be a child and be curious is important to give them more permission into being silly and just maybe not get to lost in the process.

[Kairon Yeng]

Summary Post

I started seeing Partswork everywhere. It is happening in my head all the time. Sometimes I wish I could tune it out. Especially in my recent visit to LA, being in the city makes the Parts more rowdy and alive. I can see how advertisements and other stimulations only go as far as stimulating the parts and doesn’t reach the soul. This makes one feel incredibly lonely in a large city. Despite that, this loneliness doesn’t stem from the absence of loving people but a form of malnourishment for the soul. I guess this is what feeling disconnected means. Parts that are disconnected from the soul runs amok and started controlling the soul. On that note, I will always remember, “work the parts or the parts will work you.”

[Michelle Pruden]

Kairon0 I love this. I agree with you about being in a city. When I return to LA (I grew up there) I feel like people are walking around in this shell that doesn’t belong to them… That they are almost robot like haha…. I dont know… I read recently this new study about the connection between addiction and disconnection and this made more sense than anything else. I feel most issues arise out of disconnection. It feels so lonely. What if we all lived a soul directed life? Just imagine….

[Elizabeth Wangler]

Summary Post

First of all, Megan, Kairon and Brad, thank you for sharing your beautiful insights.

As I’ve pondered how to introduce Partswork into a long-term coaching process, it seemed logical to bring it in early. Now, I’m wondering if delving more deeply into the Soul isn’t the best place to start. As Kairon shared, Partwork too early can feel very awkward and like role-playing. My practice clients definitely felt uncomfortable with it at first.

For Partswork to make sense as a concept, it’s very helpful to understand that the point is to serve the Soul. I realize that Severance works toward this because the deeper need is an aspect of the Soul. However, I wonder if a conversation about Soul could set the stage for the client to understand the depth of what is possible through coaching. I doubt that many paying clients who seek it out have any idea that they’ll be working at a Soul level.

I wonder how many clients would even be able to define Soul or understand how parts of themselves can serve it. This could be a valuable conversation to have. At the same time, I can see the value in simply starting wherever they are.
Very likely, this will depend on the client. Some may be eager to investigate their depths while others might run for the hills at the thought of going deep. I’ve had practice clients on both ends of the spectrum.

If my goal were to work with long-term clients, then I’d need to think about how to frame my services so they understanding the value, while giving them some idea of what to expect. Earlier in this discussion I could imagine doing a stand-alone workshop for Partswork and including it on the front end of a long-term coaching engagement. Now I’m viewing it as a powerful tool to employ as needed, but not necessarily with everyone upfront. I think it’s best to feel into that as time goes on. From prior experience I know that it’s best to let services form based on clients’ needs, rather than on what I may want to provide.

At the same time, I’m aware of the value in discerning what types of clients or issues I want to work with. Rarely does a business flourish that tries to serve everyone. As I write about long-term coaching with clients, it’s theoretical.
For me, I see coaching itself as a tool rather than my primary endeavor. Partswork will be invaluable in everything I do for the clarity it provides in understanding others and myself.

[Michelle Pruden]

Elizabeth- I would agree that I questio if bringing in partswork and diving into the soul to early is the best idea or not? It took me intill the end of EBI (our last week) to understand what it felt like to know and feel that I had could speak from my soul. and yes all of our parts are in service to the soul. But, than I question maybe getting to know our parts by doing parts work early on starts the healing process early and this may help them return to soul eventually.I know for myself I was able to return to soul when I felt stripped all of my parts and was able to than dive in? I dont know. I wonder what Michael and Ryan would say about when is the best time to bring in parts work.

[Nick Galluzzo]

Partswork 2
Initial Post
7/29/18

How does PartsWork effect or enhance your Coaching Presence and approach?

During my coaching sessions in the intensive, I noticed myself gravitating towards using parts work when I saw the opportunity. From the first Partswork intensive, I enjoyed the process of going deep with the parts and interviewing them. Inquiring about a particular parts role in the system , what is wants for the system (soul) and if it is in conflict with other parts really takes the client to a deep place where they are looking inward toward themselves. Building upon this knowledge, the intensive taught me how to let these parts project themselves onto the landscape which takes the coaching to another level. When I was coaching in my 2 hour session, I able to work with my client by using the landscape and it was profound the work that we were able to do with it. We were able to use different trees and even a fence as they perfectly fit the parts of my client. My client was the one to pick out these items in nature too – they spoke to her and seemed so fitting for the issue she was working on. What I learned about myself and my coaching process during this is it brings a “third party” level into the equation. For example, instead of saying “What would this part like to say?” I would tell my client “Now go walk over there and say that to your part (the tree). OK, now that this part has said this, what does the other part think in receiving this information”. Then, by physically walking back and forth between the parts, my client really got into each part and spoke and listened from a deep place. It really pulled my client out of the mind and into the body and was extremely effective.

What flowed and how did you build off it?

When we were in the middle of the session and walking back and forth between parts and having conversations, it felt really natural to me. It all came from asking powerful questions and it took off from there. We went back and forth many times (maybe too many!) but in the moment it felt right. I would inquire about a part, and have my client speak to the part in the first person about whatever it needed to say. Then, we would walk over and respond in the first person of the other part and respond with whatever it needed to say. We would continue this dialogue until a compromise or a resolution, or maybe just a plan to work towards a resolution was created. In looking back at this work, I was reminded of a saying Ryan told us “If you don’t work your parts, your parts will work you.” When else would you project your parts onto the landscape and have conversation with them? How powerful an experience this was.

[Nick Galluzzo]

Partswork 2
7/31/18
Summary Post

I am walking away with a sense of how powerful Partswork can be when incorporating it into coaching. I like the idea of using a session or two to create a mandala with someone. This alone can bring so much forward for the client and allow them to see parts of them they forgot were there. Additionally, by discussing how parts interact (or are in conflict with each other) it can really uncover why a client may be stuck or unable to work through something. I think Kairon said it best, and I’ll paraphrase but essentially Partswork is the process of letting the parts have an open conversation and letting the soul take control and be the decision maker. How powerful is this? If a client is “stuck” and unable to make a decision, being able to shine the light on two parts in conflict could change their entire world.

As for my coaching, being able to bring parts of my employees to the surface for themselves (and for me) is amazing. If two individuals are not getting along, I could look at what part (or parts) in each of them is in conflict with the part of the co-worker. Not only can people get “stuck” but so can organizations. Using Partswork to work through these issues has the potential to change organizations (and people in the organizations!).

[Michelle Pruden]

Initial Post-

I feel that parts-work comes up and is helpful in almost any situation. When i reflect back on partswork and what I took away from the course was what it means and feels like to return to soul. Our parts are in service to our soul. What it meant to me to return back soul (and it felt like it took forever to understand this) was it felt like my soul was being controlled by my parts. When parts us are damaged or hurt it is hard for us to listen to our soul…it is hard to understand and feel what it is like to live that soul directed life. It is like peeling back the layer of that onion…

The expierence I had during this week of partswork 2 was incredible. During a session where I was a client was so interesting. I also want to say it helped to understand that clients might be resistant. This brings up the question of when to know to push their limits or not. I think this is where long term coaching is important. I was working with ryan during my session and he was someone who had been working with me for quite sometime. This is where knowing your clients limits and what parts of them are resistant and what parts shut down at certain times. Track your client and their gaining their trust and learning their boundaries is important. I also learned in this session that there is so many different ways to work with your client and all ways are 100 percent or right. This is where taking a risk and dancing in the moment is important.

I am looking forward to learning more about how to work with clients and play around with partswork. I feel this is a strong skill in my personal and professional life.

[Heber Howard]

Michelle, I really appreciate you describing your understanding of what it means to return to the soul. I to have always had trouble really understanding what it meant to live a soul-directed life. I have generally discounted it as flowery speech that people like to use to overlay spirituality onto a process of psychological healing. This makes so much more sense to me now. It seems like it’s common for people to feel like they are mostly controlled by their parts when they start Partswork. It feels like it really clicks that a person would feel like they are living a more “soul directed” life once they get all their other parts out of the driver’s seat.

[Michelle Pruden]

Summary Post-

I think it is important while working with clients to use parts work. I feel it helps connect the pieces together. I feel it helped me understand myself as a whole and why I do the things I do. After doing parts work I always am asking myself which part of me needs this? or wants this? Or what of me isn’t serving me a purpose anymore?

I have used partswork with my co-workers. This has been very valuable. At first guiding my clients or coworkers and encouraging them to talk to their parts didn’t seem natural but the more I have done it the more I realized it’s the level of comfort in myself, not my clients. If I am able to naturally guide my clients through this process it is always valuable for them. We all talk to ourselves anyways, right? haha

Moving forward while working in the wilderness therapy field I am excited to use this skill with my co-workers and clients. I hope to use it in experiment and to each person understand themselves more.

[Heber Howard]

Initial Post

I tried to do a session in which I was inspired to try blending Partswork and Somatic Experiencing trauma work. The session was with a friend and first-time client. We started off the session with a little description on the tools I was planning on using and a rough idea of what the work we were about to do was going to look like. We started the session and I asked her what she wanted to work on but she didn’t come with an issue to work on. I got the impression she was doing it more as just a way of exploring what I was up to. At one point when I was asking if she was interested in being my client she said something along the lines of, “I have a ton of issues, I could definitely use a life coach” but when she came to the session she didn’t have anything to talk about. I found this really interesting and wondered if there was a part of her that just thought of herself as a person with issues. Maybe this is an introjection or even a retroflection that is affecting a part of her, or maybe this identity serves her in some way. I tried getting her to touch into her soul which proved to be very challenging. I was doing this mostly using the Internal Family Systems model which emphasizes coming from place of the self or soul, talking with the parts that are protecting her from something to get to talk more with an exiled part that is not appreciated and not seen very often. I was doing this by getting her to feel into her body in times of frustration and when getting to a part of herself was challenging. The whole session felt clunky, she seemed confused about what she was doing, I felt confused about where to go and we didn’t seem to get anywhere. We did touch into a few parts and she got more familiar with them as she went along, and at the end of the session, she said that this was valuable to her. This was hard for me to believe because I didn’t feel like we really made any progress.

I think a big reason this session didn’t go the way I would have liked it to go is that I was trying too hard. The whole session felt very clunky and unnatural. This experience really colored my opinion of Partswork for a while. I thought it would always just feel strange and I really didn’t see myself using it anymore. Now I realize that part of that feeling is the Internal Family Systems model seemed great but it felt very limiting where I could go and I ended up feeling very boxed in. I still think it has a lot of great concepts and can be a great tool, but I am glad to realize that I can be more flexible with Partswork now. I also loved the idea of doing trauma work with parts and I still do, I think I just tried to apply to many things to quickly without having a real grasp of how to work with them.

[Heber Howard]

Summary

I was really curious what kind of new material we were going to learn for the second round of Partswork. I am glad that most of the module was devoted to practice and discussion, which still provided some learning opportunities. One thing I was very happy to learn about and see played out in action a few times was putting the “psychodrama” that is going on inside the clients head into the world in front of the client so that they could see it. This is a great way to make the process feel more real and feel less clunky. I often feel like talking in first person as a part of myself to another part of myself feels very clunky and very strange. The technique of putting the conversation out onto the landscape and using objects that are big enough to represent people as the parts is very helpful in resolving some of this clunky feeling. Being able to stand in the place of soul or warrior is really helpful in embodying that part and speaking from a first-person voice. I think it still feels a little odd for most people to be embodying a part of themselves and speaking from first person to a tree that is supposed to represent another part of themselves, especially when someone else is watching. I think for some people it’s challenging to simply wrap their heads around the concept. For this reason, I really appreciated the idea of coach embodying one of the parts the client is working with. It seems much easier for the client to get everything straight when they are actually able to have a back and forth with someone else. I imagine this is just a learning curve, and once a client has experienced Partswork a few times it becomes much easier for them to do the whole process by themselves. It’s also important to note that stepping in as one of the clients parts is a bit of a risky move. The coach has to know the part they are embodying well enough to make sure they are embodying it accurately. For this reason, I think it is really important for the coach to start the experiment by being very explicit with the client that this experience for them and they are directing it. I really feel like I have a much better understanding of the power of Partswork now that I see it and it’s goals a little more clearly. Before I really didn’t understand why I should hold my client to speak from the place of their part in first person dialogue. Now I have a better understanding that the power of Partswork comes from the client getting to really differentiate those different voices and feel into their parts. This also helped me to better understand that these parts are not just a role you play but a part of who you are. Because they are part of you, it is important to treat these parts like a whole person. Parts need to be worked through, allowed to grieve, celebrated for achievements, and led to working with their trauma. It’s just working with a person, but a much more focused part of them.