Amanda
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Foundations in short, has changed the course of my life in very significant ways. My answer about whether coaching works is a resounding YES! However, a person must be ready to enter into a coaching relationship with me or really with anyone. Change is constant and coaching will shake homeostasis in concert with the coaching structure and skills we have been given and had prior to EBI. There is timing to create a relationship with a coach or client, so there is some trust that it is o.k. if the time is not now. The sales funnel is a real thing, and is very helpful for someone like me who waited three years. I am more than eternally grateful to be in this particular cohort with these particular mentors. My clients will need to be ready and will need to have the ability to be uncomfortable. A room always gets really chaotic and messy when you are trying to organize by pulling everything out putting like items together first (Yes, this is the first step to organizing and Marie Kondo has confirmed it.;) I imagine using parts work in this way of reorganizing a person’s life and priorities. Some things may no longer fit and they need to be repurposed or released. I think the most important part of my work with a client is making decisions in a seat of Soul. That is the place that we can hear our intuition and it is the place where we are never “wrong.” Making decisions is something we do daily as human beings, but many of them are automated, and this work allows us to slow down and drop into a space of clarity(soul) that can really propel our life forward if we follow it. We as coaches are the support, sometimes just the witness, and sometimes keep people accountable whether we know it or not. We might be the only support available or the person that can see all sides a little more clearly rather than being the client living in their situation.
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Right now I feel like I don’t know what I don’t know because I haven’t worked with different kinds of people as a nature guided coach yet. I do have a lot of experience with a wide assortment of people from traveling and being in many different kinds of jobs to formulate characteristics and traits of clients I would like to work with in the future. I don’t think the age or group matter to me as much as who the person is in their life. I enjoy guiding people who take responsibility for where they are and who they are without needing to blame others for their behaviors and choices. Clients that are really ready to commit to making changes and have allowed the space in their life to do that is important to me as a guide. An understanding of SOUL and willing to learn to make decisions from that space is necessary to me as a guide. Populations for me that have come up over the course of my life have been military familes, children, 18-25 year olds, care-takers, moms, creators, people who live in other cultures or countries, and anyone called to serve others. Right now I see myself spending a few months in different areas such as California, Hawaii, and maybe Colorado or Idaho. I would plan to be outside of the country once or twice a year, so I see serving people via zoom and also scheduling them on the land when I am in their area.
It has probably been about 10 years since I wrote down in a journal, “Why can’t I do therapy on a walk?” That led me to being a hiking guide or part of a tourism industry in Hawaii, but I learned I would need to live in Maui to even be considered. At the time I owned and operated a small boutique gym in Palm Springs and there was a gentleman that ran hiking tours, and I thought that was really cool and gave freedom to be around the high tourism time and then you could take a break and travel. Basically a lot of work in a few months and then maybe a couple months off, and I liked that dynamic. In addition to that I have found from traveling and vacations that different parts show up and have a lot of guidance to offer you in terms of habits and new behaviors, but of course it can be hard to implement. I see this even now in incorporation coming home from the intensive, but thankfully we have support towards our vision, but someone coming off a vacation doesn’t. I am not sure what the structure of the coaching program would be but it could be in addition to regular clients. I love the idea of working with nature outside in this circumstance, but working through zoom also feels like I mode that works for my lifestyle.
I really enjoy partswork, and I feel like it helps to make decisions, so goals for future clients could be just making a decision. I have also spent a lot of time learning about relationships with intimate partners, siblings, friends, and parents and find all of that fascinating. Food and health have also been a big part of my life, specifically obesity and self-love for our bodies. I am not sure I would guide/coach kids struggling with obesity, but I would definitely love to help families make changes and provide information as part of my marketing. Getting kids outside is a strong reason for why a NATURE-connected coaching program was important to me. Getting people outside for their physical and mental health is a strong component for my coaching. I also feel the strong tug and pull of television and movies to be inside, so I greatly empathize. Movies and television also contributed to being at EBI. Nature for me is EVERYWHERE(around me, inside me, and outside of me), so my collaboration will be as well. Coaching outside is an added element of creativity in the threshold, but I believe it can be done inside as well. Ultimately being in touch with your SOUL is the space that helps people move forward and being outside helps that along, but all of us are doing our best to be seated in our SOUL moment to moment being outside or not.
The only place I have been interested in the program for awhile is Pacific Quest in Hilo, Hawaii. It takes 16-25 year olds I believe, and they incorporate therapy, hiking, farming, and bring in Hawaiian culture to the program. There is also an outdoor school in Idaho that is run for a variety of children, so I am interested to learn more about both of those programs. I could be interested just because the activities are all the things I would have loved to learn, but ultimately in my vision I see myself as a guide and also a teacher. Rachel pointed out that in the wilderness therapy program she works for they are outside and do a lot of climbing and hiking, but there isn’t an awareness of nature-connection related to their soul minute to minute or even daily and what that means for their life moving forward. I would like to bring that nature-connected awareness in relationship to Soul to help 18-25 year- olds gather adulting skills like being a parent, a spouse, a co-worker, take care of a house and car and finances, and care for their mental, physical, and spiritual health. It could really be for any age range, but I see myself gathering experts in those areas and delivering it in a 30-90 program. Nobody in my cohort watches television, but I going to put down the show-”Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” right here so I don’t forget. It is basically about real time transformation, so in a week they change their clothing, their house, their health, and do coaching sessions with them as well. It’s a show so we don’t know what changes stuck and which didn’t but its’ a group of people that have expertise in different areas, and I like the collaboration between all of them in service to the person they are working with.
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There was a lot going in this module-money, questions, coaching vs. guiding, and personal experiences. The first thing I will mention is that two male cousins in my life came to me at different times struggling with their fathers and their emotional display or lack thereof. They were not coaching sessions, but I would say there was a deep need for connection for one and value for the other. I am interested to see how Gestalt would be helpful in both of these situations, because I immediately felt that it would.
I have also been in conversation with both my sister and sister-in-law describing what worked with their therapist or coach and what didn’t. I think ultimately when I consider a service and building a business the checks need to be easy to write for my clients. There is so much value that there isn’t even a question as to write it or not. Now that I am saying checks, I realize it is more likely to be venmo or square or cash, unless my clients are of an older population. The imagery of building a fire, the need for it, and doing ninety percent of the work beforehand all came together for me. I was on a family vacation and we all knew there was no coffee pods left for the morning, but we didn’t discuss who was going to get up early and get some, but three of us individually went out and purchased some; it wasn’t a deep need but it was a need and despite being early in the morning people were going to get their coffee. I have found people in crisis or transitions or in enough pain in a situation will then seek out help. I had a marriage and family therapy professor share that most clients arrive at what eventually becomes the end of their relationship, so more often than not he helped them ease into a breakup or divorce. They didn’t come in the beginning when help might have been more useful. Right now I want to know what do I have to put together in my life and in myself, so that 90 percent of my work is done before I light that fire? I want to be the guide that is similar to the coach and therapist my sister and sister-in-law found value in. I am me and different, but I think those that are good at what they do have some things in common. I will say for my sister-in-law the sessions were very client driven, she wanted to exercise more, so they agreed on the very small step of keeping a pair of tennis shoes in the car for when she had time. Her previous coach had a very structured agenda, which she needed to keep and stick to a daily calendar until she could progress to other steps. My sister had a therapist that listened to everything she said, but had no responses or questions but mmm or tell me more.
I see myself as a guide and powerful questions and presence as key attributes, but in order for me to be at my best I need to be in that alignment or connection that Sue mentioned in her post, which was a result of the exercises we did outside prior to our practice sessions. I definitely want to be guiding at a soul level, so building a service around that and learning and sharing the value of that will be crucial to building the fire.
Thankfully I enjoy money and appreciate it, though that was not always so. I do know that people value what they need to pay for, and I have read that we value purchases more when they relieve a pain. For instance I didn’t have a holder for my phone in the car, so I kept it in a cup holder, but looking at directions was a pain, so I found a holder that clips into the air vent and magically life became easier. We don’t always purchase the little things that could make life exponentially easier but may purchase items that we want at the moment because they feel good. My step-father owns a million dollar home and is fully retired and plays golf 3 times a week, but lights his stove top with a long lighter because the lighter on the stove top doesn’t work. I will say that my mom’s personal hobby is home decor, so he can’t just walk in and buy whatever stove top he wants and bring it back and put it in. It sounds funny, and makes me laugh every time I see him make an egg every morning lighting the stove top. It reminds me of human beings and the way we spend money and the perceived value. A need to someone is not necessarily a need to someone else. A potential client could have an area we see as painful, but they do not. It is a reminder to me that a person will easily pay for what they want and see value in; client-directed and what pain they want to remove or change or what they want to create. As I sit here to write this I know my step-dad has already made his egg using his long lighter and is on his way to easily pay for a round of golf. The last note I want to remember in building the fire around a business is the word-FUN. Golf is fun, stove top shopping and installing is not.
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I have 3 threshold experiences that I want to remember and keep, so I am going to put them here. The first would be one during our intensive after we were sent to ask our vision council a question. The word haven came to me, and I realized for the first time that my sit spot at home reminded me of an area at my grandparent’s house, that we visited during the summers while my dad was in the Air Force growing up. I brought this idea into my coaching session, and during the conversation we moved into the threshold, and I was asked what I like to do to meet the need of support. I remembered a pile of leaves outside, so I suggested just going out to them and when I did I decided to lay down and it was amazing. I literally felt the definition of support, and I remembered that my grandparents, who are deceased now, were a huge part of being a haven for me during my life. It was an amazing experience, and I grabbed a rock I saw and it now sits on my desk. The threshold experience still feels strong when I think about it, and I think a characteristic of a threshold experience is that it stays with you, the feeling stays with you even 3 months later now.
The next experience for me was really the last day of the intensive, and for me the fishbowl was the threshold experience for the entire intensive, even though I felt there were several throughout. Right after our intensive ended I felt so grateful and charged, but I also felt so tired and exhausted. I felt like I had just gone through something significant and looked for ways to integrate it and myself back into life. It felt a little out of body at the time, and I wanted to share some things I had learned with significant people but instead did more journaling. The feelings I had as I remember back now are similar to the way I felt shortly after a few significant people died in my life and either being in the room at their last breath or just being around them right before and visiting with their bodies and family after. The same feeling, but on the other side of life was spending the night with my sister and nephew (1 day old), staying awake all night to hold him and pass him back and forth, so he could eat and sleep, so my brother-in-law could go home and spend time with their daughters. Again the feeling remains years later, and I can remember the moments in detail.
The last experience was actually an EBI live I found called “Soul Routines” with Michael, which I highly recommend. During the program he introduced us to the seven stair exercise(each stair is a level of soul), where you vision yourself walking down 7 stairs with intention and the stairs can look like any that your imagination takes you. At the bottom of the stairs we were asked “What are my greatest strengths?” and then ”Why are these strengths important?” In my mind we haven’t clarified whether a threshold experience is actually a threshold experience only in the position of client and coach in a session. To me they occur outside of that and in this case I would consider Michael a coach and a facilitator and myself as a viewer and a client. It was a recording, so I don’t feel like I was participating in a group but rather participating as a client.
For those of you who have read or watched a movie called Neverending Story, which came out in 1985, I had a vision of the wolf called Gmork in a cave when I asked the question of “Why are these strengths important?” I found the exact scene that came to me and in this scene Gmork(a servant of the power behind the Nothing) is speaking to the hero Atreyu. Gmork has been hunting Atreyu through the movie but doesn’t realize the boy standing in front of him is the same person he has been hunting. They live in Fantasia and the world is in a state of destruction that seems to be from an outside force, so as things are crumbling around both of them they are meeting each other. Atreyu is asking Gmork why this is happening, and Gmork answers-”Fantasia is a piece of the dreams of mankind, therefore it has no boundaries and people have begun to lose their hopes and forget their dreams, so the Nothing grows stronger. Nothing is the emptiness that is left; it’s like a despair destroying the world. People who have no hope are easy to control and whoever has the control has the Power.” I am still sitting with this, and I feel like I will be sitting with this the rest of my life. I know I felt the same heightened feeling as the other thresholds but not exhausted this time, just excited and a little scared of what it meant for me.
In all of these thresholds Nature participated, death and dying, birth, the natural world outside, and even being outside in my imagination and in connection with myself and a higher Self is all Nature to me. The most important way for Nature to participate is allowing and recognizing. There are feelings that happen during a dying experience sadness, anger etc. but there is also a gratitude to be part of the experience and witness it from a larger perspective, a Oneness that occurs and I think the same would be during a birth, though I didn’t witness it, I had a small human a day old being in the world for the first time. Nature is always there and always participating in everything, we just get caught up in dark emotions perhaps or busyness at times. We can force our own agenda on the day or our life rather than being in the Flow of nature and the peace our day/life can have. Our connection to Nature as guides and coaches is also necessary to facilitate the threshold experience. Some sessions might be building to one, so we have to be patient, but we are also learning tools that can be short and can give us something to ponder forever such as the seven stair exercise.
The most important ICF competency for me to be really good at is powerful questioning; I love discovering everything about a person, but my focus is on the questions that remind me of C and C Music Factory (musical group from the 90’s) lyric-”Things that make you go Mmmm.” Staying in the moment with the client and where they are at minute to minute and allowing them to lead rather than having your own agenda. Yes you have a structure but the questions are intuitive and help the client discover the answers for themselves. Reminding myself to take a pause and sit with myself to discover a good question that might not just pop out to me from one line to the next I will practice. This goes hand in hand with coaching presence and taking the time to connect with myself before I attempt to connect with my client. I cannot access deep listening to myself or my client without a connection. The best version of myself is in connection and that is what my client deserves.
A question I leave here is what is the definition of a threshold experience? Does it only occur between a client and coach/guide or can you facilitate one for yourself? I have experiences in my life that feel like threshold experiences and I became a different person, and they required integration…
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The word, the concept of vulnerability presented itself during this module to me, and I am thinking/pondering my way through it. There was a woman on a show I was watching and she seemed closed off emotionally from my perspective, and the audience found out later why that was the case. She said that for her to be vulnerable was difficult because it felt like a weakness rather than a strength. I started thinking about animals in the wild and when they are hurt or scared they freeze, run, or hide so they will not become prey. It is an instinct humans also carry with them until they are able to see that vulnerability in the human world can actually be a strength; it connects people together and helps form relationships. Intimate relationships do not work very well without the ability. Coaching clients come to us for help, something happens or doesn’t happen for them that they want to change or have or stop and it is a vulnerable position. I am looking to nature in the ways its vulnerability is actually a strength, what components are there that can teach us and show us this is true.
I picked to be a coach because the client has the answers for themselves. I don’t need to have the answers for them, and there is no wrong as long as they make their own choices. I am always adding to my vision of a coach and what do I want my clients to know or potential clients in terms of marketing/attracting? What vulnerabilities of mine do I want to share to develop that relationship whether it is through a website or a conversation or social media? I do believe that our challenges and how we moved through them are stories that make us different from each other and people will be attracted or feel like they have something in common.
At this point I feel like I am my own client in terms of creating time to go outside and am on purpose being easy about the next step and the next and the next step. I am enjoying being a student, and the more time I make to go outside the more I get back, and I think as a nature- connected coach, if we did nothing else, but help people spend more time in quiet outside our jobs would be 90 percent done. The challenge as a coach lies in helping them to have a transformative experience that really shows them what nature gives us when we engage and make a connection. Fun and ease need to be part of my life and work, and I think fun can definitely be a part of coaching, and it propels people to make changes. If someone is dreading to go to the gym then there needs to be another activity they can do for the same benefits.
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I was a Catholic school kid and was raised in a large Irish-Catholic family where Sunday Mass was only missed if you were on your death bed. I was a serious Catholic adult and even started a Master’s degree in multi-cultural ministry at the Franciscan School of Theology in Berkeley, which in of itself was an awesome place where several different Christian faiths and non-Christian faiths came to study at each other’s schools. St. Francis has always been my saint of choice and both my father and grandfather are named Francis, so we go far back. I did not finish the program, for a couple of strong reasons, which I am sure will be shared over the course of the year, but for this particular question one is important. As I studied the Catholic faith in detail, God, Source, all the names, became too big for it to stay in the frame of Catholicism. However, my family remains Catholic and I am a regular attendee of all important occasions that continue to occur in the church and I credit a lot of the good parts of myself to my upbringing.
Aside from that though I see people around me walking paths in life without any anchors, specifically younger people because many of their parents have left the churches they were raised in as well. I do live in Southern Ca, so I acknowledge in other parts of the country there are still booming church communities and even in areas of Southern Ca. However there is a disconnection from something greater outside of ourselves. I recently had a call with Sheri, and even though I found a different path to walk in spiritually, I feel like this nature-connected coaching program and nature itself is really the practice of my spirituality. There are books and studies but also the experiential component of actually being outside. In Christianity there are 3 parts-the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and I feel like there are 3 parts here as well-Us(Humans), Source(Whatever you like to call that energy), and Nature(Holy Spirit, the relationship between the 2/the practice).
“There is a deeply bonded and reciprocal communion between humans and nature. The denial of this bond is a source of suffering both for the physical environment and for the human psyche, and the realization of the connection between humans and nature is healing for both. This reconnection includes the healing potential of contact with nature, work on grief and despair about environmental destruction, eco therapy, psychoemotional bonding with nature as a source of environmental action, and cultivation of sustainable lifestyles”(The Transpersonal Dimensions of Ecopsychology:Nature, Nonduality, and Spiritual Practice by John Davis). I think many people have left structured religion behind and are looking for an anchor, looking for healing and purpose, and I think our connection with nature can provide this path. I see Ecopsychology as a study of why being in communion with nature is good for us and ultimately benefits nature. The more time we spend appreciating nature in whatever way it presents itself whether its on our plates or in our backyard, the more inclined we are to take care of it.
As a coach I would like to guide people along a path to WHO they are. I use capitals because the WHO is all of who we are and who we want to become and where we came from-a spiritual being having a human experience. I see nature as part of that path, the practice and symbol of the Oneness we are all a part. A nature connected coach stays connected to nature and also coaches and guides their clients to do the same, utilizing the tools that are available to them moment to moment. I feel like being outside is the physical part of my spiritual practice now. The skill I need to continue to strengthen is my own connection to the physical part of nature no matter the distractions of life, and I feel like my regular attendance to this program is a metaphor for how I am doing. It will be something I keep track of through the days, weeks, and months. -
I really love this Suez! I love the concept and care you have put into this vision thus far, and I can completely understand where you are going and how it works; it is very clear. Although I think nature-connected coaching can really cover a lot for an individual I am curious about your seminars and bringing other providers into the make up of that particular seminar. Do you have a list of the people you would use already or is that something you will be gathering along the way to the creation of this Vision. Also will you provide all your services to the populations you would like to work with or are you being specific in say, seminars for parent and caregivers, but daily hikes for those suffering from PTSD. I was curious as I create a more detailed vision if that is something to think about depending on the particular populations I would like to work with. Love it and its fucking cool.;)
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Thank you for sharing your threshold experiences, and now I know who was roaring and yelling during different exercises;). Threshold is really a gift and when it can be done outside in nature that is amazing, it takes beyond this physical reality for me and can be a little uncomfortable but also creative. I am curious what your guide did for you that helped you be more comfortable to scream or roar during your sessions, or if you had just come to the point on your own..
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Thank you for sharing your individual experience of threshold in your life, and then you succinctly put into words exactly what I love about the guiding that we do with clients. Nature really is a co-coach, and I want to “**” this post to remind myself and my future clients why what we do is effective and unique. You wrote it so well that it gives me an even better explanation of why it really works, so thank you for sharing. No intention for the threshold just leaves it listless or feels forced up on the client at times, like going through the motion without Soul on board.
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I completely agree Sue, that the sometimes short exercises we did beforehand definitely added to our connection as coaches. It is a reminder that a wander or short exercise with a client prior to a session with a client or at the very beginning can really add to the conversation that eventually takes place between coach and client. They definitely made me feel balanced as a coach or open as a client. You mentioned Trust and Safety as important competencies, and I was curious if you had already started some practices of your own to bring to the session in order to create that for potential clients. I do believe that trust is earned for some while it is given at the outset for others depending on who they are and their experiences. For me in this cohort and experience it was given automatically, but that is not always the case in other situations, so it is interesting to figure out why the difference and if there is something we bring as coaches that helps people trust us.
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I love that you are in the system in order to change it. I wish I knew you when I was meeting doctoral and master’s level students that were angry and passionate about the destruction of the Amazon that we were all living in and experiencing for 3 weeks to study an indigenous language called Quechua in Ecuador. They were building oil pipelines right through the villages and around the families we were living with. I think what you are doing is extremely important and you can be a great connection between the companies and environmentalists. I can’t imagine the balance it takes to do that.
I asked in one of our calls if there was one deeper need that was at the base of all the others and Daniel mentioned-“To be Love.” Maybe love and appreciation is the connection between the ecological unconscious and the deeper need. You can’t give what you don’t have, so maybe loving, accepting and respecting ourselves and everything we are translates to loving, accepting, and respecting nature? I have also witnessed the disconnection and lack of relationship with nature, it’s “out” there rather than part of who we are. Maybe there is a way for you to gift the people you work an experience of a threshold/transformative experience, so they can see the benefits themselves. I am sure you will be doing that as a coach.
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I am thinking about the difference you notice in yourself when you have quick access to wild Nature and when you don’t, and what it will look like for clients who do not have that easy access and the ways they can be connected to nature through zoom or in person coaching sessions. Basically what is the bare minimum that people need to really feel that connection, and I think it varies person to person. I know as you said that Nature does effect people, especially the people in your program whether they had any experience at all with Nature or not. I do agree that Nature is a portal to soul/Soul, and from my view as a coach I feel like a guide that can help connect the two. I am not sure if we are in the portal with them or right outside of it, which is an interesting thought not to go on a tangent. I am also always curious about the rubber meeting the road after the coaching session or after the quest or wilderness therapy program in your case, and how the integration works and how to set up the student/client to be successful, whatever that means for them. I think Rachel, you have a really great seat to watch people explore nature maybe for the first time, and then I am really interested in the changes that happen at home. I hope to have a conversation with a person in her 30’s that went through a wilderness program in her 20s, I know they are not all the same, but just to find out what changes occurred in her life, what worked and what didn’t. Curious to find out if nothing else, if her connection to nature still remains, or changed by the experience.
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Definitely looking forward to chatting with you about India, I spent 3 weeks in Bali and felt similar and saw similar spiritual/religious activities daily. As for your question about bringing people a bigger awareness of themselves or nature, in some ways I am my own client. I am using a lot of the exercises that we learned in Foundations, and I do feel my own connection to nature more consistently. It feels more noticeable, and I am always efforting to feel good or better or in Connection with myself and the capital WHO. I spent a lot of time outside growing up but was raised in a family that really enjoyed the indoors-movies, book, tv. I think as coaches even suggesting going outside regularly helps them get answers that they already have in themselves.
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I get all of that Sue, the hypocrisy that can be part of any person or organization can drive me crazy, but I have to watch it in myself as well. I was just spending time with my mom and stepdad this weekend, and my mom suggested a read a book she had on the counter about people who had visions or returned back from death and their experience of purgatory. I basically rolled my eyes and said oh brother, and I pointed out that we didn’t even spend a lot of time in Catholic school growing up learning about that aspect of the church. Guess its making a round back in Catholic culture these days. I am thinking of your discussion post below now, and thinking of meeting clients and being flexible and even cognizant of their age because my mom growing up wasn’t the hell and damnation Catholic at all, so it’s interesting she has gotten more conservative as she has gotten older. She also as people do probably thinks more about her mortality and what comes next being in her mid 60s.
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I am loving all this Sue, and I completely agree with flexibilty and the ability to pull tools from wherever you can to meet the client where they are in the moment/journey. There was definitely a lot of different avenues and trails this week, and I do believe that the clients that we will be able to help will be attracted to us and vice versa. I see the Great Disconnect in my own family, which in some ways inspired me to pursue nature connected coaching. I have a nephew I have spent a lot of time with since literally the day he was born, and I have watched his attraction to video games and tv just increase every year. He is only 4 1/2 right now, and he actually was always outside with his toy blower and broom and trash can as he got old enough to walk and talk. We said he will have a landscape company or something, and I would love it, but he could also be a kid that sits in his room on computer games. I think if anything I have to remember that I love being outside and inside, and maybe people aren’t ready to be outside 7 hours a day, but the suggestion of a sit spot could change the entire trajectory of their life.
