Carrie Calkins
Forum Replies Created
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Post discussion:
I mentioned in my discussion in the long-term coaching that I have been inspired to integrate NCC and my shamanic practices. It is funny, I think partwork is so amazing and powerful, however, haven’t seemed to embrace it like some others in the group. I haven’t made a mandala or mapped it out. I have the list of my own parts, but those seem to be random on a sheet of paper. Perhaps, I just haven’t taken the time to organize it, I am not sure.
What has recently been revealed to me is, I have been working partswork, but in a different way, my way. In my shamanic practice, I use journey work and animal totems. I teach and instruct my clients that animals are little messengers to give us insights into issues we are dealing with. But, we also have long term animal totems that reflect who we are, why we are and what drives us/ slows us down, etc. How other animals can come and go as well, reflecting back onto ourselves for greater understanding. Also, nature scapes, landscapes – physical and meditative are very informative as well. It is a type of partwork, expressed through animals and nature.
Hey Michael.. I think I have found my way!
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Initial post:
I recently had a few sessions working with a client who has a current practice working with clients struggling with addictions. His practice sounds amazing. He had some initial knowledge of working with partswork, but was still struggling with the full concept and how he could incorporated into his current practice.
It was not a lengthy conversation, however, it was found to be very beneficial. People tend to be aware of having parts… they have most likely used the phrase.. “part of me wants to go, part of me doesn’t”. But, unfortunately, it ends there. Not knowing why or what the parts are. As we know in this group, partswork can be a very powerful tool. However, I have found, just understanding the basics can be very beneficial as well.
Simply having the client list their parts… what their roles are, what drives them, what slows them, etc… this can give great insight into themselves.
After discussion with my client and explaining in greater detail, encouraging him to list his parts and review them… he had greater insight and understanding into himself. At the end of the call, he noted he was going to look into incorporating this into his current client practice. Not so much going into deep individual partswork, but, partwork to help understand our multidimensional selves to help understand why we do what we do, why we act the way we act and such. Perhaps a self reflection practice. -
Post discussion-
So, I have been struggling with how I am going to actually make NCC my own. What is my unique take on the practice of NCC. I find that I am drawn in many directions… but, I recently had a personal sharing experience that really rang my bell.
I have a problem, or actually, an addiction to education… I just cannot get enough. Sometimes, I feel like my head will explode with all I am trying to jam in it. hahah. I started a yoga teacher program in January… (shhh, don’t tell my mom, she will just shake her head at me.) Anyway, during the yoga program, we were to teach a lesson to our classmate, it could be anything, not just a traditional yoga class. I began to reflect and think back to all the classes I have taken over the years.. my string of pearls I like to call it. I started to think about what brings me great joy and has a great impact on others. I decided to take my class on a shamanic journey to interact with their spirit animal. This is something I have done many times, with many groups of all ages. I love it every time. This last group, hit me particularly hard. Not sure why, perhaps, because I have been seeking the answer to how I want my practice to be. My classmates lit up, they loved it. They shared their experiences, and how the journey lit a light for them… giving them clarity. Their experience was aligned and paralleled their life. They shared with me later, that they went home and took their loved ones on a journey as well. It seemed the journey I took them on, was like planting a seed that pollinated a community.
Since then, I have been booked for 2 journey sessions. I also discussed taking my last client on a journey, perhaps an advanced journey to help her discover inner knowledge that she is having a hard time unveiling.
I have been learning and practicing shamanism for close to 20 years. It now seems completely natural to intertwine NCC with the shamanic practices I have been using all these years.
I am feeling inspired. Also… I gained some clarity on my yoga practice as well… I had originally thought to practice a medical yoga, still using my nursing… however, that no longer feels right. I plan to teach a nature connected yoga classes… incorporation! I am working on scheduling at a horse barn here locally… so cool, the owner has a practice using her horse for gestalt work. Did I mention incorporation???
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Initial post:
So, I am a little bit delayed here, my apologies.
I met with my client, whom I have worked with a number of times before. Most recently, she came to the session with concerns of dealing with death of loved ones and her responsibilities afterwards.
She had family members pass recently, which caused her to think about the loss of her mother. Going beyond the loss of her mother, was the issue of being a caretaker to her brother with medical problems. She was struggling with the current care taking needs along with the pending future needs. The statement of “why is it my responsibility?” He has a wife, kids and grandchildren.
After some discussion, we pinpointed to the pressing need… the responsibility of being a caretaker. The loss of her mother was set aside for future discussion. Creating the pathway for future, long-term coaching.
I was unable to experience a threshold with her, however, she did create/ have an experience when she got home. She sent me a follow up, noting how beneficial it was, how she was able to gain greater insight to her deep rooted issues with being a care taker, valued and heard.
She also kindly responded noting: “It helps in the simplest way by having these little “memories” that help trigger me tho think about things. Like previously your visual of the stream… with creating new paths vs. falling back into old ones. And from yesterday of the idea of “path of lease resistance”.We tend to meet at the coffee shop. But, I enjoy the fact that we can bring nature into our conversation, and that nature references are lasting triggers.
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Post summary.
I find this to be such an important topic. This session has really opened my eyes to all the forms of grief. To really understand that everyone goes through the grief process differently. To understand the importance of holding space and creating a safe container for the client.
It helps to understand people in general. Why are they in the mood they are in. Has there been a physical loss? Are they grieving due to being a new empty nester? Are they grieving because they just graduated college and that live has ended, a new one to begin? Loss of a relationship? Loss of a house/ possession…
It is weird what “little things” can trigger a grief response… sheesh, I still grieve the loss of an antique radio that we gave away… it was always in the garage when I was growing up, I played on it, pushing buttons and thinking about how life was when that was the only form of entertainment. It has been gone for over 20 years… I still miss it.
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Initial post-
I am a little bit late in the game here. I have enjoyed reading all the posts.Grief, this is such a hard topic. Initially when I think of grief, I think of a loss of a person or animal. The class really brought to light how grief is multi-dimensional, multi-sourced. It is loss of life, it is loss of activities, it is loss of physical body, it is loss of social connection, it is loss of…
The exercise of entering loss on the timeline was very insightful for me. It was seeing my life on a page, bringing attention to situations I had not consciously addressed. I feel it triggered some past losses that I may not have had fully addressed.My client had recently lost her husband of over 20 yrs. They were high school sweethearts and had a romance like out of a movie. They have 4 children. her husband got cancer and eventually died.
When addressing the loss, she was at a loss for words. When people ask her how she is doing, she doesn’t have an answer. She states she has not cried, she has not grieved… she didn’t know how. She stated she didn’t have time, she had 4 children to deal with. Life has taken over… work, kids, dogs, arrangements, events, etc.
I wanted to help, give advise, give a hug… do what ever I could….. But, I know there is nothing I could say or do to make her better. It was something that she needs to address… in her own time. As a coach, I could only hold space, a safe space for her.
I did find the simple statement of “How is your heart today” to be much more effective than “How are you doing”. I gave her a place to start, to feel and to express; even if the answer wasn’t clear.
As a follow up to the session and a check in with her. She stated she still has not fully grieved. She has learned to live without her spouse. She has learned to be a single parent. She has learned to get through birthdays, weddings, graduations, etc. But notes, he is never far from her heart.
She did eventually stop wearing her wedding ring, she stated, she didn’t feel married anymore. I felt this was a huge step towards healing… she was feeling something. She was feeling what she needed and the way she could.
Feelings and grieving are individual. Never a cookie cutter process. It is not a close and be done, move on. It is learning how to live with the loss. Knowing that you will be learning along the way and will continue to learn, grow and incorporate.
This is such a powerful topic. One people are so shy and resistant to address. They don’t know how to deal on their own, how do they help others. Space and support… that is how.
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Summary post:
As I reflect back on this session, I find that providing space is so important. Creating a space where the client feels safe and comfortable. There they can be present and feel… FEEL. Sometimes those feelings don’t feel good, but feeling them helps to address them and work with them. Sometimes words are not the best healers/ teachers, sometimes silence, listening and supporting are great healers. Everyone deals with trauma/ stress/ etc individually, no cookie cutter way.
As I write this, I envision a hammock hanging from a tree. It is supportive and breezy, it is flexible and allows one to go with the flow. It is supported by trees, great grounding. A canopy may be above, creating a “shelter”. Fresh air is all around, cleansing the body and the soul. The view… nature at its best- plants, birds, bugs, animals— non judgement. -
Summary post-
I use this/ these techniques ALL THE TIME! Anxiety is running wild in society today, everyone seems to be having anxiety/ panic attacks/ depression/ etc. While talking with friends or family, or, working in the clinic, I find myself naturally slipping in to mode and helping people get outside of their inner struggles and focusing, even for a moment, outside of themselves. Guiding them through some breathing techniques and getting them to focus and describe what they are seeing. Engaging all the senses, sight, smell, hearing, etc. It is like a reset button. Such simple and effective tools. I absolutely love this stuff!!! -
Hi Mandy, Thank you for sharing. I love you have a long term client using parts work. I see your frustration… just putting out fires, and the “snap back”. It is hard to watch and see the back slide. But, we need to work with the client where they are.
I haven’t worked with the mandala, however, I am very interested in it. Your cohort seems to have really jumped into the Partswork and using the mandala. As I think about it, I think it would be beneficial for her to “see the big picture”, to see the relationship between her parts, to see the fluidity of her parts. The mandala seems like it would be a great physical reflective tool.
I think you could be strong about it. The river always takes the path of least resistance. Adding a little bit of resistance could be just what she is looking for and needing. Perhaps you can add that to your long term coaching map, introduce it in that fashion.
Awesome, I love seeing how you are really applying this work. Best of luck. You got this, you are a natural!
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Oh my gosh Rachel… what an amazing experience!!! It is very cool that you and your friend were open to work through this together… and even cooler that your parts were able to work together. It is such a learning experience to see how other perform in their practice. We learn from them, which continues to grow our own practices.
And… yes… feeling is healing. It is something that many many of us avoid. It hurts too much to get in there an address the issue/ source… but if we do, there is such growth from it.
I can definitely see you moving forward and using the couple/ group partswork in your practice. Gosh, you could really change lives and relationships. Best of luck! Thank you for sharing part of you and your experience. It was very mind opening.
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Rachel,
This is so good! You obviously have taken partswork and integrated it so well into your practice. You have a strong grasp of partswork and getting your clients to work with it, integrate it … leading to self discovery and understanding.
Yes, the 6 months of laying the ground work was definately worthwhile. Your patience as well as your clients, paid off.
Wow, this is inspiring.
I love to see how we have all found our unique tools for NCC. It makes me smile!!!You rock!
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Mandy, that is amazing!!! What an experience. I love how you went into the woods, grounded and connected with your client and her needs. The map just unfolded. You were in awesome connection and communication with nature, which extended to your client. How exciting to see the progressing around the wheel… Great coaching and a great tool of validation.
I may try this myself.
Thank you for sharing. You have a great great gift and I wish you the best! -
Nick, great job. I enjoyed reading this. Great job going through the steps of grief. I especially connected with the Process of Incorporation — not necessarily closure, but leaning how to incorporate the loss into your life and learning how to live with if. The second that resonated strongly with me (although they all did) was the Feel the Feelings. I have found that so many people are afraid to feel. It hurts, why would we want to feel the hurt? But, I feel this is so important. Feeling is Healing. To keep the yucky, unpleasant feelings buried keeps them inside, not is a space where you can deal with them… then, somehow, someway, those unpleasant feelings will surface and sometimes in odd ways.
Thank you !
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Thank you for sharing. I am a little bit late getting in the game here.
I do resonate with the rescuer and healer in you… I am the same. It is a struggle for me to sit back and let the healing session unfold. I have been a problem solver, as a nurse, for over 20 yrs… it is hard to let that role go. I am a work in progress.
This was intense session, this client was dealing with all kinds of grief.. family, physical, social…
This session really opened my eyes to all forms of grief. When I think of grief, I initially think of loss of life, but it is so much more than that.
Great job! -
I love your post.
It is so true, for me, I can know something, or just unconsciously know and do things. Bringing it to my attention/ a full attention, I suddenly get a light bulb lit. I am able to start to look at it in a new perspective and address it accordingly. Is it something that I need to change or be aware of?
Changing those behaviors/ mindsets that are deeply ingraned and be sooo sooo hard to change. Snap backs… dang, they can hurt, but being aware of the snap back can be so powerful.I do love how you are aware that when change needs to happen, you pick up and move… that is awesome, something that I dream of doing at times.
AS they say, energy follows intention… we have the power!… Manifesting rock stars!