Cecile Bonnet
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Hi everyone,
I am so happy to join all of you this weekend, from France! 🙂
My intention for this weekend is to really re-connect to my vision… a lot of things has happened in my life in the past few months and I definitely feel the pull to connect with my EBI community and to help each other. Long term I want to be a nature coach but I feel some resistance due to limiting beliefs or wanting to be the “right timing”… anyway, I am excited to connect with you, with my vision this weekend and to refresh all what we’ve learned at EBI during the NCC program.
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Thank you for sharing Joy! Awareness and insight are definitely keys in the gestalt principles. I love that you’ve been able to experiment and feel like it was flowing just fine. Trusting that the present moment brings us just what we need, whether as a client or as a coach, is a powerful thing 🙂 And I love what you say “it is important to see things different or to ‘stand aside from our usual way of thinking’ in order to assess what is actually being felt or perceived in the current situation vs. what is coming up from issues or things of the past” it really resonated with me as I’ve been giving a training about inclusion and diversity and helping people realize about the preconceived ideas from their past as well as the stereotypes they may have… let’s be honest, we all have them! but as a coach we get to practice staying open and put ourselves in someone else’s shoes.
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Initial post
Gestalt is all about awareness, expression, creativity, relationship, authenticity, “NOW” and “how”. As I’ve been practicing more and more with my practice client, I realized that no coaching session can happen without the Gestalt principles. I feel Gestalt is naturally ingrained in my coaching sessions. I’ve always been connected with people during conversations and can feel their emotions, positive and negative. It’s not just about what they say but also what they don’t say, what moves them/me and what their body language translates…
For a long time I thought reading and feeling people’s emotions was a curse to be honest, and the more I dig into it the more I realize it could really be a gift especially as a coach as long as you know how to maintain your separateness. Something that I struggled with in the past… Learning more about confluence and enmeshment with others was a real eye opening for me. I didn’t even know it was a thing and how to call it until we went through this intensive. It was mind blowing and definitely something that I always want to be aware of during my coaching sessions and in my personal life.
During my practice sessions with my client, I constantly try to bring her back to the present moment, here and now. I even start the session with a quick meditation where I invite her to breathe in and breathe out and to let go of all the things and energy that no longer serve her so that she can be fully present with me in the here and now.
Gestalt principles also helped me identify the moments where there are contact boundary disturbances. For example my practice client would be speaking about something deep where she wants change and transformation to happen and then suddenly she’d start laughing… It took me a while to realize, it was really subtle… until I recorded the session, transcribed it and noticed that every single time she was feeling uncomfortable, she was somehow giggling or laughing as a way to deflect. I didn’t share it with her yet but I feel it might be something to bring up to see if she is even aware of it.
Moving forward, I think part of my role is to keep being present with her every step of the way so she feels safe enough to go into the uncomfortable, to lean more towards the unknown. Introjection is also really present where forced messages/beliefs come from her dad who was controlling and judging. Somehow she is passing these messages down to her daughters although she has a lot of awareness around it and is really trying to change the pattern.
It is exciting to think about all the different approaches we can use to help the client (e.g. validate what the parents didn’t do, stay with the feeling and ask the client to name it instead of question it, keep reflecting back what the client said…) and see what might work to make progress.
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Rahhh for some reason I can’t modify my previous post… makes it really hard for a perfectionist like me with an owl personality haha.
Ok I am letting go right now 🙂 and adding some websites in here that inspired me! I see myself doing outdoor team building activities for the corporate world where I can use the Nature awareness tools and work with groups as well as one-on-one coaching.
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Foundation 4 – Summary Post
Foundation 4 was really helpful to understand and to practice the threshold and stages of incorporation. I was able to experience the high energy flow through ceremony where we see things differently in this expansive state and where the belief in ourselves increases. The key is really to pause and to start taking actions and writing down a plan when we’re in this high energy.
After reading everyone’s post, it really hit me how our life experiences seem to have such a strong impact on the type of clients we want to work with. Yes we all learn so much from EBI and we’ll be NCC certified after this one year program but it’s a good reminder that in a way we are all “life certified” with our own skills. Nobody knows better than us what we’ve been through and how to cross “that bridge”. It is a matter of finding ways to transmit this information to help others do the same.
I really enjoyed this discussion because it allowed me to learn more about everyone’s vision, to discover new websites that I didn’t even know existed and I am so excited to be a witness of everyone’s growth. It is truly exciting and inspiring!
And it really helped me solidify my thoughts on who I would want to work with and what type of work. If I can summarize in few words what my coaching is about: aliveness, power of adventure, play, overcoming, community, trust, self-love, relationships.
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When I think about coaching/guiding others, I think about bringing life to my potential clients… the word that comes to mind is aliveness, help them discover the power of adventure and nature while understanding themselves better.
I want to help them trust that whatever they put their mind into they can achieve it. I am all about overcoming challenging situations and have the support of a community, feeling surrounded.
My ideal clients are in their 30s/40s, want to become a better version of themselves and have enough money to invest in themselves.
I see myself guiding people in nature retreats for a weekend for example and also doing one-on-one coaching for additional support. I’d like to create my own program that would be centered on nature/adventure, self-discovery/self-love and relationships with others. I know I can do it because it’s exactly what I’ve been through. Nature has always been my go-to, I am now living full time in a RV as a business development engineer (who would have thought it was possible?! not me!), I’ve been on the journey of self-awareness/self-discovery since 2019 and I’ve grown tremendously in my relationships (with myself and others) since then. I want to infuse that in others. The question is: how do you find these clients?
I’ve also recently been certified in DISC personality styles and started teaching it within my company. This tool will allow me to teach the personality styles to others so they understand how their behaviors are impacting their own success and impacting others. Improves individual and team communication. Increases acceptance of others and decreases conflict and drama. Improves organizational culture, one interaction at a time. This will help people become a far more effective leader, salesperson, or teacher; revitalize their career; build deeper personal relationships; fully leverage their natural gifts, and empower everyone around them.
DISC personality styles is also a tool that can give a better understanding of your kids (or kids in your family/life) and their personalities. As a teenager, I wanted to be a therapist for kids and help them through drawings… but now I feel I want to work with adults and raise their awareness on their kids strength so they can pull the best out of them and help them understand who they are, what they like/dislike, and realize that they do not need to be any different.
As a kid, I’ve been told by a teacher that I was “too slow” in school when I didn’t finish my exam… even to this date, I remember feeling like a failure, I wasn’t good enough… Reflecting back and knowing all what I know now, I am the type that needs to take it slow, I am detailed oriented, I like to do things a certain way, it takes me time to get it but once I get it, it’s there for good! If this teacher had taken the time to ask me what was happening or had more awareness/emotional intelligence, things might have been slightly different or at least I would have felt understood and not like a failure…
I realize that I am still seeing things are one OR the other, instead of BOTH..AND… Am I becoming a life coach/nature coach or an executive coach? I don’t feel ready and experienced enough to be an executive coach yet although I know that all my network is with my corporate job and it’s where the possibility of finding clients would be easier I think.
I am going to continue my path and let go of the outcome.
Few examples of individuals or organizations who work with similar populations:
– https://merrickrosenberg.com/
Merrick is the CEO of Take flight learning, he’s the leading authority on how personality drives success and happiness. He is the one that helped me learn more about myself and others and realize that we are all successful in our own ways, no need to change and mimic someone else. I’ve done couple team builiding events over the years with the different companies I worked for and I have to say, this is something that interests me a lot. A mix of fun, connection, community and learning/emotional intelligence. One thing that I particularly enjoy is the parallel Merrick is making between personality styles and birds. Somehow he managed to bring a bit of nature into the personality styles.
– https://teambuildersplus.com/
Their approach to corporate team building is that it has to be fun, engaging and help change future behavior. Participants in the team building programs will build trust, improve communication and develop the skills that lead to a more cohesive team environment. Doing some research and finding this style of team building events gets me excited. How amazing would it be to do this as a job while having fun at the same time?! I think the only downside is that corporate team building is not really tuning in into Nature and the slow pace of the environment. Hmmm maybe something to develop?! Corporate Team building with the 7 breaths and other awareness concepts in Nature 🙂
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Foundation 3 summary post
I am still blown away by the power of the threshold experience. This amazing feeling that we get after experiencing it in Nature… this feeling of empowerment and of courage to step into this new person. It is carved forever in our soul, we can easily get back to this feeling by just thinking about it. I can still remember myself with open arms facing the valley and feeling unstoppable and so supported by my classmates. I can easily connect to this feeling/emotion if needed.
I believe this quote came from Mickael during the intensive week in Gunnison and it really resonates with me “most impactful adventures require getting outside of our comfort zones and away from our hometowns. In doing so, we put ourselves in new places and new situations that require us to fully engage in what’s going on around us”.
This explains 100% the threshold experience.
This explains the need to surrender, to let go and to accept what is about to come.
This explains the transformation from the uncomfortable unknown to the known.
Just unbelievable! I am not the type of person that likes to speak or write a lot. And sometimes I struggle to explain things the “right way”. This threshold experience doesn’t need to be explained, just need to be lived. You understand once you’ve been through it.
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– Reflect on your experience as a client in the “threshold”.
Going through a threshold is unbelievably powerful. It enlightened me during the process and gave me so much more food for thoughts afterwards. There is no going back. It will never be the same. It gave me a new pair of eyes, a new approach, a real awakening. One special threshold for me as a client was during a session close to the maze in Boulder when I realized that I was scared to be “too much” for others, literally a boulder for others… I was able to acknowledge and say out loud that taking care of my mom emotionally when I was 6 years old was a lot to carry on my shoulders and a lot of responsibilities at such a young age… my coach and I were laying on the grass, grounded to mother earth, next to each other and I’ll forever remember this guided meditation in the middle of nature where I felt so held… It was absolutely divine!
– How does that experience inform your coaching and why?
This threshold experience helps me understand what happens when we’re letting go of the old patterns and stepping into the unknown during a coaching session. It is a scary place AND an exhilarating one at the same time. The fact I’ve experienced it myself will allow me to support my clients to the best of my ability knowing what they are going through. I want to be there every step of the way.
– How did Nature participate in your process and what does that tell you about coaching others?
It helped me realized the true power of Nature in surrendering and letting go… my coach and nature being both the containers and holding space for me. It is exactly the same kind of threshold/experience that I want to offer my clients.
– What ICF core competencies are essential for you to practice and build on to feel confident in that “place” as a coach?
— Embodies a coaching mindset – I’ll stay open, curious, flexible and client-centered. I’ll hold space for them, be fully present, listen carefully and reflect back to what is said and what is not said.
— Establishes and maintains agreements – Partners with the client to identify or reconfirm what they want to accomplish in the session. I feel it is essential to not assume that the client would like to continue discussing the topic of the previous session. Although the client might have left the previous session with some homework to do, the topic might be different for the next session. It is important to remember that the session is client-led and to redefine their plan and goals with them.
— Maintains presence – is comfortable working in a space of not knowing. I am highly empathetic and have sometimes the tendency to want to find the solution for the client. I’ll make sure to not let my agenda takes over and instead, to ask powerful questions to guide the clients in their journey.
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Hi Lindsay, absolutely love the threshold experience that you’ve co-created with your client. What an amazing way for your client to connect with her tree and make it part of her inspiration for her business tasks! 🙂 thanks for sharing!
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Hi John, thank you for doing such a good job at summarizing Gestalt key principles and sharing your notes. One thing that struck me in your notes is the comment “No matter which disturbance is employed, when the client breaks contact, I need to repeat the comment back to the client. I will ask the client to speak to whatever/whoever broke the contact, telling it/them what they couldn’t say when the event took place.” I think this is a great reminder for us coaches to deep dive into parts work and give a voice to the part that didn’t get to express itself due to the disturbance.
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Joy – I have a big smile reading your post and visiting the website you’ve shared… this is so you, it fits you perfectly with your unique set of skills. I can see you guiding people wanting more freedom, wanting to travel while understanding themselves better, just the way you did it for yourself! Not using travel as a way to forget things and run away from challenging situations but as a way to deep dive and to do some deep inner work. So excited to see you grow and to witness your development 🙂
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Sara – Wow I absolutely love your vision, thank you for sharing. It’s beautiful to see you put all the pieces of the puzzle together. I resonate with not knowing exactly who your ideal client is (yet!) but it’s a process and I can see how it it is all beautifully coming together. I think it is a matter of letting things go, surrendering and enjoying the journey. I can’t wait to see how you define your vision 🙂 Also thank you for sharing these amazing websites, it inspired me!
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Hi Tony,
I absolutely love your idea of helping other women going through this important stage in life. I think there is a need and like you said there is currently little support in this area. I remember my mom going through this transition with hot flush and emotional change and clearly struggling. She didn’t have much connection nor support and didn’t know how to handle it. I think this is a great niche to focus on and would definitely interest women. So exciting to see all what we have to offer individually and our specific niches in the market.
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Hi Tony, thanks for your post. I love how you described the threshold experience as initiating the dance… I used to dance a lot and for some reason this metaphor clicked with me… when dancing you surrender, you let go, you are open… and without knowing the what/how, you can feel that by practicing and experimenting, you’ll step into something beautiful, something known that you can share with others. And I also really resonated with “creating safety while navigating the wildness, the darkness, and the edges of our experiences”. Safety is key. If we can bring safety to our clients and help them feel at ease so they can open up and experience these thresholds, it’ll just be magic!
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Thank you John for your post. Absolutely love reading your posts, always so well said! I concur with what you said when describing the threshold “a point of no return” with a blend of fear, apprehension of the unknown, skepticism, what Nature could possibly offer… AND exuberance, anticipation, excitement… After few practices, it is incredible to experience it ourselves and see how much Nature can transform us and be an active participant in our journey. Unbelievable!
I really resonated with your threshold experience embracing the tree and putting your check up against its bark. I had a really similar threshold and it was amazing to feel the energy of the tree and to be able to build such a strong connection. I also felt its strength, all what its been through and realized how strong and incredible the tree was. It gave me a different perspective on life and allowed me to see my own scars as strengths just like the knots on the tree 🙂