Cory Steele
Forum Replies Created
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Summary Post
Something that really hits for me after reading these, as well as experience, is that personal partswork is huge. It has been a big tool for creating a greater understanding within myself. Although I don’t use this in my actual coaching, I use it all the time for myself. I look at my mandala, and have a constant connection between soul and other parts. I might end up using this more in a professional setting in the future, but for now I am continuing to explore how I can best use this within myself. -
Lisa, I loved the playfulness and flexibility that you had since she didn’t want to move outdoors. For me it is a reminder that nature does not just entail wild nature, but everything. Everything is nature; ourselves, our environment, and everything in between! As guides and coaches it is always something to remember. I loved reading about your experience!
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Sandy, you are so right when it comes to the language! As deep listeners when we hear something like, “part of me…” our ears stand up! That is really cool how you were able to both drop in with such different settings. One of the benefits of having the technology we do. I loved hearing how experimental you both were. Allowing her to have those dialogues take place, and noticing she was ready to dive deeper into her inner world.
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Initial Post
I was working with a man who wanted to step into a career change. We started off with getting to the “WHY” as I’ve found that the deeper the client can discover their why the more energy actually goes into change. I have not really use partswork in a formal way. I do bring up when someone points out when they say something like “a part of me.”
While working with this client we went a little deeper into finding out what parts of him wants to make this change. What we discovered was something truly profound! It wasn’t really any part that wanted the change, more so soul. He is a father and husband. Two parts of him that are heavily influencing the direction of his life right now. However, working in a deeper and more sacred space we found that the “WHY” he wanted was not from either of these parts. It was something deep within that was speaking, and we found soul at the center. In a very non-direct way he was able to have a dialogue from soul with the other parts about why he wanted to do this.
Shortly after, he put in his two weeks as his previous job and is starting a new job that isn’t so soul crushing to him! -
summary Post
After reading through responses, as well as working with several people, my mind has been changed on long-term coaching. Before I thought that I would travel and work with people occasionally and not see them, or have a plan for long-term. Now I see it as one of the main ways to really have the most powerful effect when it comes to change. A single moment might start to lay the groundwork for change to happen, but that is not how life works. Everything about life is countless moments adding up over time to create change. The peak experience is important, but the integration and incorporation piece is massive! From what I have seen a lot of the long term coaching can be about that final step of the ceremony. -
Initial Post
I have been working with a woman for a couple months now, and she has been wanting to lose weight. We have been looking at milestones along the way. Giving up soda, many processed foods, and more recently dairy. The main factor, the core of why she wanted to go through this change was because she wanted to have energy to play with her grand kids. She also wanted to be around and not end up dying from a preventable nutritional and lifestyle disease. She has been making great progress. In addition to giving up a lot of the stuff above she also started to eat organic foods.
Recently she became very discouraged. She has noticed a small difference, but has fallen into the trap of wanting to see and feel results quicker than they were coming on. We have been in discussion about how the past 45+ years of her life has created this type of life that she is trying to overcome. So, we talked about how change is going to happen slow. I is something that is countless mini milestones that she is adding into her new self. The compounding 1%.
She was also feeling a bit down recently because she is losing everything that she knows. We were able to talk about how it is a normal part to grieve for this old part of her. This part that played a role for so long is now stepping aside for a new part to come into play.
We have created a long term plan around the intrinsic motivation. The point she brings herself back to whenever she feels discouraged. Her big why is her grandkids, and wanting to feel different and have more energy. She has made great strides in the last couple of months, and I am excited to see her growth continue even farther! -
Summary Post
I found partswork helpful for allowing the clients to explore more about themselves. Having the ability to embody a particular part opens up new doorways of perspective, and ways to look at the world. For my own purpose I have used it for the same thing. If I have a problem somewhere in my life I look inward to see what part is unhappy. I try to get the soul involved to have a little conversation about the issue at hand. Combining this with brain and change has really opened up avenues for me to work in. Talking with the client about what is happening inside of them during change, and with certain parts is a powerful tool to have in life.
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Initial Post
I found working with partswork to be very informative. Both in a session as well as for me personally. I was working with someone, and we had talked about confronting different parts that were at odds over him wanting to quit his job. A bit of back story. He felt conflicted with how he was living his life. On one hand he was following the voice of a part of him (child) that wanted to quit his job, but on the other hand the other part of him (worker) was not allowing it. He wasn’t happy and he was able to embody the voice of the child to find out why he wanted to quit. It was not what he wanted to do, he hated it, and there was a sense of life being passed by while he withered away. The worker voice didn’t know anything else but this work. He was created to do this part. The more he talked though the more he realized that this part was afraid to leave. He could still exist, but not in the way that was suitable for the child and the client as a whole. We went through some experimentation where the part could exist in a different role. We practiced some pendulating to allow the worker part to feel what it was like to be in this different position. He ended up seeing that it wasn’t as bad as he originally made it out to be. We ended with the client having some homework to practice more of this at home, and see how the result look. As well as to notice what obstacles pop up along the way that will keep him from accomplishing what he wants. -
Amanda,
Thank you so much for sharing! That is amazing that you were able to be so fluid and jump in to help your brother like that. Even though it was not a formal setting it didn’t mean that it was any less impactful, and the information you have learned is helping you out in more than just a professional setting. The fact he was so open to it too made it that much more effective! I loved reading this, and it sounds like a really impactful thing that happened for your brother, as well as you. -
Ben F
It was nice to see how allowing it to be what it was, a practice session, made more space for experimentation. All the pre-session talk is extremely beneficial. Having the client be aware of the clothing and what to expect as far as the location is nice habit to get in to. It does seem like with partswork more time/ multiple sessions will be needed because of the extent of information involved around working with the different parts. Having the time that you did sounded like it was still very beneficial for both you and your client. It was cool to see that the previous dynamic where you were friends did not impair your ability to coach. I have noticed it can be trickier if you are more involved with the client, and it sometimes requires us to back away out of a particular role. -
Summary Post
I found that grief is one of the things in our culture that is treated somewhat like a swear word. I had this view for so long that grief is a weakness and when I see someone going through it I would not know how to respond to what they are going through. What I found from my personal experience sharing with everyone, as well as working with others, is that much of the time all that is needed is presence. People want to feel that they are not alone. Just being there for another person is sometimes enough for them to be with what they are experiencing, and nothing else needs to happen. I don’t look at it anymore as something I need to hurry up and fix, but instead allow it to be recognized for what it is. -
Initial Post
I have been working with someone who has been in the process of grieving her old patterns. She used to be angry and a bitch (her words not mine) towards her family specifically her sister. I started off by asking her about the intention for the session, and reemphasized that it was a safe container where there is no judgment and she is free to be honest and true. After getting some initial story she told me she wanted to have a better relationship with her sister, but these old patterns would still be coming in to stop her from doing that.
We found out that what she ended up needing was to address the old parts of her that was still holding on trying to stop this new way of being from coming up. She wanted to sit with how she was feeling, so she did a little 10-minute meditation. Afterwards she decided to have a little conversation with this part of her to figure out what this part really needed. In the end, after some connecting with the older patterns, she decided she wanted to let this part essentially die. She wanted to grief properly because it was time for this old way of being to leave. She acknowledged of what she was feeling, and then out loud said that it was okay to let go. That letting go was not a weakness. This change that was taking place had no room for two contradictory behaviors.
After she was able to grieve, she told me that she wanted to reach out to her sister and express this new person she was becoming. We had a follow up a couple days later and she told me she was able to have a meaningful conversation with her sister because she was living from this new state that was born after the old state had left. -
Hey Adriana, I also like the idea of a questionnaire. It can be a nice way of obtaining a great deal of back story to free up time for the actual session. I have thought about incorporating this as well. I’ve found sometimes just trying to jump right into a session where I know nothing about them is mainly taken over by learning some other information that could have been gathered form a simple questionnaire.
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Ben, I like how you are working with other professionals as that is going to be a big factor moving into a long-term setting. I am curious to see how the dynamic of your collective work between the three of you would play out, and add to a plan for long-term coaching.
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Ben, it sounds like you created a safe container of awareness for your client to be able to sit with what she needs. Grief is so complex with all the ripples in every which direction, and by creating that space this in turn helped her find what she really needed.