lynn-nelson
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SIX MONTH PLAN:
Weekly meetings (four each month).
First monthly meeting is discussion only. Determine, through guided visualization, what change is needed and the desired goal for the month.
Second monthly meeting is a together wander. Pre-wander discussion on intention. Post-wander discussion on seven questions. Assign client to continue weekly wanders alone for next two weeks.
Third monthly meeting check in. Listen to client’s experiences with wanders. Assign continued weekly wanders alone.
Fourth monthly meeting check in. Update on client’s wander experiences and summarize results from month. Encourage continued wanders.
This would be the pattern for each consecutive month, however, the first meeting of each month (beginning with month #2) would be a self-reported progress, feedback on progress, re-evaluate needed changes, re-focus intention if needed. No wander this week; only weeks 2-4 each month.
Last month, repeat first three meetings as in months 2-5, then for the final meeting, shared wander. Pre-wander would include progress made, work left to do. Reset intention. Post-wander would be asking the seven questions again, identifying which have been answered and which one may require more discovery, focus on validating client’s progress.
My version of this would include hands on applications to reinforce the discoveries made and, in some cases, encourage and empower the client in discovery. I would develop different activities to be experienced at different levels of progress. This would result in each month seeming quite different from the previous on, yet the pattern of discussion and wanders would be nearly identical. My goal would be to guide the client on a journey of continued discovery; encouraging new discoveries that reinforce those related to their intention. My role would be adaptive throughout the six-month timeframe. -
This was an interesting exercise for me made more so because it comes so naturally to me and so not to the friend who volunteered to be my lab rat. I asked this friend for a couple of reasons. First, she is going through a lot of changes in her life right now and I hoped that whatever happened, she would find something useful in it for her. Second, we connect on many intellectual levels, so it felt like someone I could be comfortable with and continue discussing these ideas with down the road. And finally, I knew she was not someone who sets aside time for a relationship with nature, and that’s a part of my life I hope to share with her for wellness’ sake.
So, I researched the area of town she leaves in and found three community parks within a mile. When I asked if she had been to any of them, she was surprised to find out they were even there. Nothing better than a blank slate, right? I decided on one that seemed most generic—likely to have some kids running around, but lots of tree to get lost in. The day before she had dropped in on me to “decompress” from work stress and I planted a few seeds for the wander. When we got to the park, I led her through seven breaths and some mind quieting activities. The hardest thing for her to wrap her mind around was that it was all about her, that the wander was to benefit her, and that my role would be more passive than usual. And that brings up the largest challenge.
Because we are used to bantering with each other on a level of ADHD squared, it was difficult for her to not chat with me about everything going on inside and outside her head. But after a few moments she settled in and began to wander. As an aside, this friend grew up in Mexico City and then as an adult spent most of her life in tiny apartments in the middle of town. On some levels she is uncomfortable in nature. Not surprisingly, as she wandered, she ended up in the adjacent neighborhood. I made a mental note of that. However, as we approached where we were parked, she bypassed the cars and headed for the shade of a tree. I asked if she was through wandering and she said she was but wondered if we could just sit in the shade of the tree for a while. An hour later, she was relaxed and perfectly content to sit—quietly.
A few observations from during the wander.
Near the beginning of it, she turned to me and in an irritated tone said, “It’s noisy!” I just said, “Yes,” and we continued. About 20 minutes later, a few blocks into the neighborhood, she stopped abruptly and with a tone of excitement said, “I don’t need a narrative!” To which I simply replied, “Right.” We ended up wandering for about 30 minutes. Then I asked what she was feeling, what did it mean to feel that way and what needed to change. She was feeling curious but also very peaceful. What that meant to her related to the two statements she had made during the wander. What was noisy was not the sounds of the nearby city or the children playing in the park—it was her mind. The narrative had referred to her mind as well. Apparently, she feels compelled to think and explain everything happening around her, even why she is doing whatever she is occupied with. That includes recreation time as well. What occurred to her in that moment, is that it is not a requirement to think about, understand, explain, or justify everything in her life every moment of the day. She decided it was ok to just do or be whatever in any given moment. Feeling that way meant that she could look at “me time” differently now and wanted to know what I do with me busy brain when I relate to nature. Before I shared any of my own practices, I asked again what needed to change and she said to allow herself more time to explore and discover, and sometimes just listen to nature.
My take on the exercise is that my friend experienced a profound insight to herself and one that may allow her to “breathe” more. For that I am grateful and humbled by the opportunity to share that moment with her. She has been known sometimes to focus on her thoughts so hard that she holds her breath. Although I appreciate intelligence and cognition, I also know a walk in the woods, physically, or only mentally if it is all you have, is good for what ails us. I hope she gives herself that gift.
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The past two weeks have found me lacking any social time due to preparing a client for re-opening today. However, I was able to do some deep listening to some of my oldest friends–trees. I have a young tree in my front yard that I planted a couple of years ago. And I am certain it greets me every time I walk past. I have watched it grow and change, everyday looking familiar, yet completely new. The changes it is going through sometimes feel like it’s responding to the changes we (humans) are all going through. It almost seems like the tree is empathizing with the humans around it. Ironically, I have always said that trees “stand up” to everything. They are my “stand tall” friends.
I squeezed in a bit of time this past week to get some yard work caught up and was doing much of it by this same tree. I was feeling somewhat alone (not lonely) by that time and knew that digging in with my hands would help. As has happened in the past, when I deeply listened to nature, it answered with a reward for the asking. A Monarch butterfly perched on a nearby blossom, still soaked with morning dew, and stayed with me as I worked for more than two hours.
Between that tree and the butterfly, nature reminded me that I have many friends, just not all human. That the strength to stand tall and the confidence of sharing self-beauty, in whatever form, were always there. Soon there would come another opportunity for deep listening with a human friend. But until then, I listened to the friends with me.
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If you asked those closest to me what word comes to mind when I am outside my home (driving, walking, shopping, traveling, teaching, whatever) they would say “wander.” I have always been a wanderer and in what I consider the best possible sense of the word. Let me explain…
So much was this the case, that as soon as I was old enough to walk, when my family went places like the county fair or a big marketplace, my folks tied a yellow balloon to my wrist. I thought it was a prize for me; they were using it to track my travels. I wandered off in all directions, but they were always able to find me. I wandered because I wondered. My entire life I have wondered at things—especially at things that occur naturally. My friends don’t like hiking with me, because a one-hour hike takes four hours with me. I am compelled to slow or stop and take in all I am experiencing. This has not changed since I was quite young.
The act of wandering comes so naturally to me, that I sometimes forget I am doing just that. But I still stop to take in whatever calls to me. Nowhere is this truer than in nature. Put me in a forest and you may not see me for days. And when I travel, it is the terrain I want to explore. If I am more cerebral, I may take photos of the treasures I find—leaving the land as I found it but returning with the memories. It does not require photos though. I have been known to leave my cell phone at home and not realize it until hours later. To wander for me, is freedom. I never feel more myself, than when wandering in nature. As I said before, “laughter is my religion; nature is my sanctuary.”
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My general feeling in this course has been one of almost “well, duh.” So much of it seems natural to me, and the way I have embraced nature since childhood. For that reason, it is also very validating for me. This last lesson helped me with a couple of ideas to lead others who may struggle to develop their relationship with nature. That is especially true about the Sacred Questions. I immediately recognized several opportunities for using them in my daily activities.
To begin with, each lesson I have already been asking myself, “What does that teach me?” I have used that approach to many things I jump into in my life. I am an insatiable learning—striving to learn something new every day, and usually accomplishing it. So, I will continue to use that Scared Question as my approach to daily discoveries.
Secondly, “What am I noticing?” is used as the central tenet for Shinrin-Yoku, but sometimes beginners struggle with that question. So, I see the opportunity to offer them alternative questions such as , “What does this teach me?” or, “What is it telling me?” Still staying in the present, it may be an easier way for some to tap into what is happening to them in the moment.
I know the Scared Questions were intended as a guide for this assignment, but they are a welcome arrow in my quiver. but I digress…
Finally, I have covered how I use objective awareness for these lessons, how I will share it with my Shinrin-Yoku beginners, and now how I will use it in a new situation for me. Understand, I am objectively aware a lot of the time already, so I had to think about what area of my life would be most enhanced by adding objective awareness to it. I realized as I thought about it, that I had stopped using it in an area of my life that it used to be the foundation of—when I am struggling with thoughts that are disruptive or distracting to the direction I want to be headed in, what is that telling me and what does that mean to me? In my doctoral program, we purposely engaged in meta-cognition as an exercise. We thought about what we were thinking, and what we thought about what we were thinking. That allowed me to stay focused on my needs and moving toward my goals, even while being attentive to others’ needs. That is pretty much a sweet spot for me. Returning to this approach I asked myself, “What is this telling me?” And after a day or two, I realized I needed more challenges in my life and acted on that awareness yesterday. By the time this course is completed, I should be able to share where that realization has taken me to that point.
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Jane-
Believe me, I have MANY references to the time spent with my Dad experiencing nature. Even my very first memory is of being with him and learning about nature. He was surprised to find out I remembered it, but I wasn’t. That’s definitely quality time with a kid.Laugh often-
:Doc -
Being in nature is “second nature” to me. I lived in the mountains near Idyllwild when I was young. We were taught to be part of the nature around us and to leave the forest better than we found it. Summer school there was learning about the different varieties of pine trees, the life cycle of the grey squirrel and natural fire management of the forest. Our local hero was Smokey Bear—no kidding. When we eventually moved to the city so my folks could find better paying jobs to support their growing family, I grieved losing all my friends (trees, streams, birds, stars in the night sky).
I always feel my best and most authentic self in nature. And, even though I did not pursue a career involving the forest, I return to it whenever I need to feel I am home. I my mind, we are all nature—every life form. And we are all “room-mates” on the Earth. To be a good roommate, you must consider the results of your own actions and how to best co-exist with your roommate. Nature is the perfect example of that. Respect nature and you will develop and sustain and meaningful relationship—one that is mutually beneficial.
The biggest challenge I face maintaining that connection are with other humans. Many of them do not understand or appreciate the world we live in. Although I respect their right to their own belief system, it is difficult when they do not respect mine or the time I need to spend “at home.” Fortunately, I have developed some human friendships over the last few years that support and even admire my relationship with nature. Some of them share a similar nature “DNA” and feel more like family to me than most of my family of origin. I am grateful to have a few human friends that encourage me to be at home. And must add that it was my Dad who first taught me about the stars, thunder and lightning, being a guardian of the land, and appreciating birds. When we lived in the mountains, the two of us frequently sat on a large boulder near our cabin and just listened to the forest together. We never said a word–but communicated completely.
Laugh often-
:Doc -
Greetings All!
Good to “see” all of you yesterday in the classroom. AS I said then, they call me “Doc”, and that is just fine for you too as well. I teach psychology online and in the classroom, and also hold workshops as an introduction to nature therapy based on Shinrin-Yoku and therapeutic laughter. My curriculum for laughter therapy is my own and I have been beating that drum for decades. My dissertation research was on the therapeutic efficacy of laughter and I like to say that the only thing I take seriously–is laughter. AS I also shared yesterday, laughter is my religion and nature is my sanctuary. I lived in the mountains of southern California as a child, and couldn’t stand leaving it. My best friends are trees.But that’s enough about me. I look forward to seeing you all in class.
Laugh often-
:Doc