Lyria Shaffer-Bauck
Forum Replies Created
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I chose my first test client out of convenience, but also because I felt like he was a person in my life that could truly benefit from some self-searching/exploration in the wilderness. I have been sharing some of the practices that I have learned from the class with my boyfriend and our trip camping in the North Cascades bush seemed like the perfect opportunity. Since I tend to be the stronger personality in the relationship and am constantly encouraging him to push his limits and heighten his senses, I wanted this experience for him to be liberating and more at his pace. For the first time—possibly in our relationship—I followed his lead. We headed out from where we had camped with me tracing his footsteps. I often wanted to pull him in another direction to explore areas I felt drawn to, but I curbed that urge. There will be plenty of opportunities for me to wander and I was curious to see where he would take us.
I had mentioned the wander idea to him the night before and, by the time we headed out, he seemed to have planned an entire route. We headed up along a Forestry road and cut west through the lush green of reaching fiddlehead ferns and huckleberries. The forest floor was one continuous cushion of green moss and above, the afternoon sun sliced through the canopy. In the near distance, we could hear the rush of Marble Creek gushing with water from the melting snow fields on the ridge. We followed the creek north, passing fallen trees, which bridged over to small overgrown islands separating splits in the creek runs. Oh, how I wanted to scamper across and explore them!
Brady had brought a GPS watch and he frequently checked our distance and the time. The river converged with another Forestry road and we walked along it for a while, reaching a turn-off, which descended steeply back down toward the river. As we began to follow, we quickly spotted a vehicle parked—someone was camping. We turned back and followed our trail back into the brush, sometimes tracing the shores of the creek and sometimes heading deeper into the forest, but never letting the sound of the creek completely fade. As we were walking, Brady made a comment about the experience with the turn-off being symbolic for his career; he had been so excited to go there and explore, only to be turned away upon arrival. I tried to guide him in a more positive thought pattern by pointing out that his career will be a journey and that that turn-off was just one stop along the way. Still, I noticed some angst in his energy and, as we wandered deeper into the woods, I felt as if he was operating with tunnel vision—often not noticing easy passage and entangling himself in layers of heavy brush. This is by far the most hands off I have been in any outdoor adventure we’ve had. I really wanted it to be his journey and his choice without my influence impacting direction, route or outcome. Still, I felt like he put his head down and marched through the forest, not stopping and not taking it all in. His wander felt executed in a similar fashion to a marathon or a heavy workout—not to say it was right or wrong, just different.
Once we were back on the Forestry road, Brady confided in me that he started to feel a bit frantic towards the end. He felt uncomfortable not knowing exactly where we were and feeling like we might run out of daylight. I won’t boast to have been an outstanding guide, but I did learn a lot in the process. Having sensed his anxiety early on, I could have pointed out landmarks to help him feel more at ease in his wander. After all, we were trekking the swath of land that stretched between a Forestry road and a large creek. Walking in either direction would have resulted in hitting one of them and finding our way. Experiencing the outdoors in this fashion is something relatively new to him and helping him to familiarize himself with the terrain may have encouraged him to leave survival mode and have a more experiential journey. Another thing that I learned and plan to change for the next wander is to ask that gadgets be left behind, or at least tucked away for the wander, if the client feels more comfortable having them nearby. Nowadays, we miss being in the present moment because we choose to experience through devices and it just isn’t the same. Also, knowing my inclination to be heavily involved, I erred on the side of being more hands off. I plan to practice methods for being more gently involved in the process in the future, as I work to become a guide.
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Aimless Wander / Wander without Purpose:
With all of the over-scheduling we experience in this day and age, the aimless wander is the exercise that I enjoy most. I indulge. It feels like time traveling to an age when the only rule was to be home before dark. What used to be “go-and-see” curiosity, for many has become restricted to a Google search. I am a go-and-see kind of person and often feel saddened by the element of chance/adventure that has been removed by internet connectivity.
Where other activities measure volume, output or revenue, the only metric that matters to me when I wander is my state of mind—and I’m never disappointed. Although I wouldn’t claim to be creating controls and compiling data, I have consistently noticed the importance of the order in which I do things. I have found that evening run + sit spot meditations + circuitous wander back delivers me home most at peace. I may begin this process on the verge of tears (or in tears!), but I always finish it with a lighter load. For me, the stress and anxiety of working and residing in the city compounds throughout the day. Breaking a sweat and switching gears to physical challenge serves as a kind of catalyst that paves the way for deeper work.
Being a botanist at heart, spring is a bountiful time of year to wander about as leaves and flowers unfurl, fragrances are released and animals talk to their neighbors. I would love to repeat my routine twice daily, once at dawn and once at dusk, but the constraints of my job would make this a difficult practice. Still, I hope to someday be able to greet and close the day in this way.
Of course, every day doesn’t provide a perfectly allotted amount of time to do all three, so sometimes sit spot + direct (yet beautiful) walk home is all I have time for. On these days, I usually find myself slogging through a swamp of emotion, as I try to process my day and get out the other end feeling lighter. I would love to hear how others have combined the different exercises to form routines. Please share!
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Having recently survived tax season in finance, I was thrilled when we received our homework from this last class. The organizer in me immediately set aside a day (last Sunday) on which I would have my epic wander. I was excited for the process of preparation and embarking on an adventure. Sunday rolled around and I was plagued by a migraine for a large chunk of the day. For me, this can be seen as a lesson: Act now. Don’t let perfection get in the way of doing. As a result, I wandered in the city on my hour lunch break yesterday. Spring is a lovely time of year to wander. It bustles with activity, color and emerging smells. I suppose the preparation/intention for my wander came in an unexpected fight I had with my boyfriend the night before. We have both found ourselves in career slumps that have left us uninspired. I have also recently felt that I have made the mistake of compromising my truth and values. I am living in a way that is not sustainable—it is not true to who I am. All of this has left me trying to reason with the fire within. I want to be logical about next steps, but there is a part of me that feels like I need to let the wild out to break the spell…for both of us. There is also a part of me that is scared that my boyfriend’s aversion to taking risks and unwillingness to do different than what others expect will affect my ability to find my own true purpose.
I started my wander from my “corporate sit spot”. While there is a water feature and a few organized plantings in the front courtyard of the building, I had never explored out back. I suppose what I carried with me was the question “Is staying in this relationship right for me and will I be strong enough to be true to myself, if I stay?” As I climbed the stairs behind the building, I quickly realized what I had been missing all of these months. The juxtaposition of ornamental concrete blocks, reinforced retaining walls and wooden benches and the explosion of unruly spring growth was beautiful! I rolled several of our exercises into one, experimenting with wide angle vision, closing my eyes, taking in sounds, smells, etc. I saw a sparrow with a tuft of seed down in her mouth off to build a nest, a cluster of metallic black flies lazily sunbathing near a fountain and scratch marks in the soil where worms had once resided. This park is immense and beautifully designed. Each time I discovered a new path, or marveled at the activities around me, I felt a pang of longing—wishing I could share the moment with him, or eagerness—already planning to bring him here. In that hour, I think I found the answer I was looking for. It is important to periodically recognize and fortify your core values and sense of self. So long as these are well-anchored and respected, each can take their own journey in harmony. My homework for myself this upcoming week will be to experiment with a little “lifestyle recalibration” and see what results. I think sometimes we try too hard to predict adverse results as an excuse not to try. We shall see…
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I am loving reading all of these responses!
Corey: I enjoyed hearing your relations of situational use of the different exercises. I had a similar experience to your flight anecdote the other night while trying to find parking in a congested area. A car came up behind me and, within seconds, the driver was honking and gesturing angrily. Even after the man had changed lanes (and had advanced no further than right beside me, due to traffic) he continued to completely come undone in his car. Normally, I would be frightened, upset, or find this yet another disheartening aspect of living within the anonymity of the city, but this time I zoomed my focus out and looked at the whole situation and just had to laugh. Whatever was happening in his life/day had NOTHING to do with me. It was very liberating to be less like a sponge and more like a duck—letting it roll off my back 🙂
Carrie: I have often reflected on how far we have strayed from moving with the rhythms of nature. I have even read articles about the effects of “light poisoning”—where some in this day and age live their entire lives without being in complete darkness. My boyfriend and I went away for the weekend and and stayed in a little cabin in the woods. I felt like I had never rested so deeply. We rose with the sun and rested when it became dark and the only sounds were those of a babbling creek and a chorus of frogs. When I visualize a future for myself, I see more harmonious existence with these rhythms.
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Many who know me will say that I am one of the most disciplined people they know—to the point of being very hard on myself. While I will thrust myself into a grueling marathon-training schedule without batting an eye, when it comes to honoring my “softer” side, I can only bring myself to dabble here and there without structure. I am a woman of tangible results, but somehow the satisfaction in creating what to others is a great feat, is not felt by me. I suspect that there is some fear of opening Pandora’s box within me.
As with Lauren’s experience, I have had minimal luck with Sensory Awareness Meditation in my home. We live on the ground floor and the frustrations caused by the scarcity of peace and quiet in our building does not lead my thoughts down a very positive path. At times, I feel starved for solitude in this city. Fortunately, I have a sit spot in a “pocket park” that I discovered down the way and have been making frequent visits. In fact, I have a sit spot at work as well—to hell with trying not to seem like a weirdo! I have enjoyed doing the Sensory Awareness Meditations in these spots as spring rapidly approaches. I always understood meditations to be a complete emptying of the mind, which has been a fruitless venture for me. The disciplinarian in me takes it on as the next marathon training and, before I know it, I’m stressing over my wandering thoughts!
To be out of the confines of my home or office and to allow myself to meditate on the other occupants of this planet and the cycles of the seasons has been a delicious pause for me. I love hearing the leaves rustle overhead, the birds gossiping and feeling the sun on my left cheek, knowing from the warmth on my skin and the glow through my eyelids that left faces west and the sun is setting. These things remind me that, as has been pointed out in other comments, the world keeps turning no matter what and will continue to do so—even if I need to take pause and opt not to take action for a day, or two, or maybe a week!
I have kept a journal for my 7 Breaths exercises. The second day I did this exercise, I turned our garage upside down making way for a new studio space—something I have put on the back burner for far too long. As with Lauren’s experience, I often find myself talking myself out of expressing what I need and/or acting on these feelings. Since I started the 7 Breaths, I have noticed a pattern in feelings of “fleetingness” and “change”. I feel compelled to put more energy into honoring my own authenticity and taking action where necessary.
One last thing before I close. (Sorry for the essay!) I was practicing wide angle vision on a training run the day after our last meeting and was running along a bluff wooded with alders when I saw a familiar silhouette. It was just a split second and I could have easily been mistaken, but I blurted out the name of the man who managed the woodshop I worked in when I went to school in Colorado. I haven’t t seen him in 11 years and, sure enough, it was him! When we parted ways, I felt energized by this result of opening up my field of vision to the world around me. Oddly enough, he had been on my mind recently. This illustrated to me how connected we all are.
I look forward to seeing all of you in a couple days.
Stay well,
Lyria -
I was raised on Orcas Island in Washington State. When we used to take the “red-eye” boat to the “mainland” to run errands in the neighboring cities, I was always full of questions. Life was so dramatically different in the city! On one city adventure, I remember asking my mom “Mom, why do so many crazy people come to the city?” to which she replied “Crazy people don’t come to the city; the city makes them crazy.” While this could be considered a silly anecdote from childhood, there is a reason that I remember it to this day. Since a very young age, I have felt a profound connection to nature. I may find myself lonely or anxious in an urban setting, but completely whole sitting on a rock alone in the middle of the woods, or running one of the many beautiful trails of the Pacific Northwest.
The natural world and its cycles serve as a grounding force, or point of reference for me. To me, being nature-connected is to carry with you—in all environments—an awareness of our connectedness with every living creature. It is the ability to be humble, to observe and enjoy the living things around us—whether it be moss pushing up through cracks in the sidewalk, or a grand redwood forest—and to recognize the impact of our actions as they ripple through all living things around us.
Being connected with nature is important to me because it allows me to seek out the calm and clarity that can be easily challenged by the demands of a fast-paced work environment, the chaos of the urban setting and the stresses of being over-connected via devices and social media. Reconnecting with nature is like pressing the reset button. Maintaining this connection throughout the workday is a challenge for me in the current industry in which I work. Where the speed of your work, whether you are dedicated enough to skip breaks and how late you stay in the office are all contributors to status, it is a delicate dance to take time to pause while still advancing professionally. It is a work in progress and I look forward to gathering tools and methods for maintaining the connection I feel while physically in nature in the competitive urban professional environment.
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Joshua, choosing our partners as test clients poses its own set of challenges. While this is a person we share everything with and they are likely our best friend, it can feel kind of awkward at first. For me, it felt like I was in a drama class, or some sort of fraud. This person is open and willing to allow you to guide them, but at the same time they know you are learning and likely don’t entirely know what you’re doing. Ha! I am so happy that this shared experience helped set the stage for some deeper communication and I look forward to hearing about your continued journey.
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Cory, this is a perfect example of less being more. You created the space for this friend to pull her own voice out of the chaos and find some clarity in letting it be heard! Often, we have the tendency to want to reach into someone’s else’s life and make the changes/decisions for them, but if we create the space, they may already have the answer. It sounds like your first “client” session was pretty impactful for your friend 🙂
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Cindy, I love the way you are able to adapt the exercises to your circumstances. I know there is a strong part of you that gravitates towards creativity and it really comes out to play when you start working with your time and resources to create experiences for yourself and others. I would love to hear more about how you see this incorporated into your future career path. I think when we talked on the school bus you said this course would be informing what you currently do for a living?
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Thank you for sharing, Joshua! I love the idea of a big hug from nature 🙂 I am so glad you said that and yes, you are right. You cannot give what you don’t have, so you have to start with you! Nature has a similar impact on me in making me feel like I am enough. Often, in the city, I experience loneliness, insecurity, and myriad other negative feelings. However, sitting on a rock alone in the middle of the woods, all of that melts away. It is like the woods are a giant filtration system and, the deeper you go, the less of the toxic stuff gets through. I am so glad you took your time in finding your response and am excited for you in your journey!
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Thank you for sharing, Cory! I think the ultimate challenge to our new set of skills is interacting with family. There is so much weight and history in those relationships. The fact that you felt the pull and just went is awesome. To experience that clarity of intention and act on it is a huge feat. I used to get upset when people would tell me that I was “choosing” to be angry about something. Believe me, our family history has had its fair share of conflict and trauma. It has taken me all this time to realize that it is true–and not just something people say to patronize! It is all a choice. What we allow in is vetted by us. I look forward to hearing more about developments as we all experiment with revisiting painful experiences and relationships to see if we can bring some peace, healing and grounded perspective to them.
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Hi, Joshua. Thank you for sharing your experience. I know exactly how you feel. In fact, I frequently feel overwhelmed and frustrated by the degree to which I “feel” for other people. Living in this age of technology, there is a direct correlation between the decrease in empathy within the populace and device use. That makes you unique! While empathy is a good practice, and it makes us more human, it can make self-preservation difficult. For example, how long did it take for that tightness in your gut (or whatever you felt) to go away? If you are anything like me, it colored a good chunk of your day. I have found that the sensory meditation can help to dissipate these feelings, but what if it’s not an appropriate time/place to practice? I’d love to hear if you discover good techniques for dealing with those strong emotions because they can really affect one’s resiliency!
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I wanted to comment on your story about finding clarity about what you needed and acting on it. This is something I have struggled with for years–talking myself out of putting myself first, fearing the responses of others, etc. like some sort of social chivalry. It is in the past year that I have felt the flutterings of awakening. All it takes is that first experience where you find the gumption to just say it, or just do it and then you realize that you can and you won’t be rejected for it and the world won’t explode. It is like a grand reawakening. I am excited to hear about your experiences moving forward, since I think this is the start of a new way for you! You go, girl!
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Hi, Lauren. So nice to meet you! You so accurately articulated what inspired me to get involved with EBI. When I am in nature, or observing what nature sneaks through the cracks in the city, I am in a state of absolute bliss and clarity. I was lucky to have been raised on an island with nature all around. This taught me a deep appreciation, which I think many lack or have lost. The lessons we learn while observing nature and natural process are unique tools that can be applied to any industry. I find it difficult to “package” this passion of mine, so that the value can be seen by others in various professions–not just fellow hiker and trail-runner friends! What is exciting is that there is ever-growing academic work that supports the argument that nature connection improves immune function and general health. I just started reading Your Brain on Nature, which I highly recommend.
See you next month!
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Hi, Joshua. So nice to meet you! I hope I am doing this right. I too have struggled with “darkness”–something that seems to immediately melt away when I am out in nature. The challenge is getting yourself out the door! I am so happy that you have your daughter to inspire you and that what has started as “Daddy, outside?” will likely turn into family traditions and countless adventures.
Something that I have found very healing is to create a community around me that appreciates the outdoors as much as I do. Although often I am the one dragging them out, there are times when they do the dragging and I never regret it! I frequently make it my role to lead our group on adventures–mapping the routes, planning the meals and travel logistics and even deciding on our wake up time! I find it extremely satisfying to create a comfortable passage into the wilderness for those who might otherwise choose to catch a movie or play video games, if left to their own devices. In connecting with nature together, we strengthen our connection to each other.
I look forward to meeting you Friday 🙂