[ray.lilli]

Hello wise classmates! I am Karina. I’ve been on a 44 year wander. I’m an art therapist and addiction specialist, a mountain runner and climber, a mother, and am always yearning to grow more into who I am meant to be. I spend a lot of time in mountains both training and doing wanders, and am feeling called to not use psychopathology anymore in regards to the precious humans I get to help. Years ago I quested and since then I have been indoors less and less and outdoors engaging with nature in different mountain ranges, countries, and also often just in my own local backyard which is pretty amazing because it is the Pacific Northwest. I live in Western Washington State.
It’s so great to read all of your thoughts on soul-directed living and nature-connection. Thank you for your sharing. We each have such unique personal journeys but I can already read threads of universality amongst us in this discussion. We are more alike than we are different and I cherish that!
I learned about soul-directed living and nature-connected learning in a new way last week right after I watched the recorded class session. I wish I didn’t have to learn some things the hard way but sometimes that’s what it takes for me to listen. I had planned a big day in the mountains with a hard climbing objective, but at the last minute I cancelled due to not being rested enough. I have about 25 balls up in the air in my life now and sometimes sleep eludes me. So I went with Plan B that day and did something small and shorter yet it was still a 3,700 foot gain over 5 miles vertical to summit. I took it easy relishing the smells of the forest and the view of the sunrise as I made my way on the trail. I felt proud that I chose my Plan B, but I still couldn’t completely connect and relax into the environment because my head wasn’t about me and I wasn’t grounded. After I passed some avalanche chutes safely, I crossed a dead headless large hawk on that trail. My trail name is Karinabird. I carefully looked at the hawk and felt anxiety. Instead of taking time to breathe and carefully proceed I returned to running up to the summit and I fell very hard incurring a deep laceration on my elbow. Fortunately I had my medical kit and used it and then ran down 3700 feet to get to my car and get to a hospital (while driving my stick shift with my left arm). I was not nature-connected until the earth matter jammed into my flesh. I didn’t cry for pain, but because I was ashamed of not letting myself do Plan C that day which was to sleep in and recover from the hard training I’d been doing that week. The fall was a wake-up. There is no shame in slowing down. There is strength in self-care and slowness. In it we commune with ourselves and our council and our spirit.
Earlier in the morning, before I crossed the dead hawk, I invoked my vision council. I convened them for the first time when I was in a Jungian conference guided meditation 20 years ago in a forest meadow. On the day of the accident, I asked them to show up and I was moved to tears by who came. One of my mentors/supervisors who guided me when I was a novice psychotherapist showed up and oh my heart leapt! She believed in my goodness and purpose without even knowing what it was. I have missed her being so much! Now she is in my council and I can ask for help as I did 20 years ago when my helping career was starting. Despite the injury (deep elbow laceration) I came back off that mountain more connected than when I started the trail. Nothing like nature to get the point across. Some of us need a louder wake up call than others. I for one am grateful and was glad to have all my wilderness first aid gear on me.
Being soul-directed speaks to me of being attuned mindfully with one’s internal awareness while trusting that one is right where they need to be in the journey. Being soul-directed is to be grounded in self-knowledge as well as universal knowledge and having a sense of which way the universal compass is pointing oneself in this lifetime. I admit my struggle with soul-directed living. I am a trauma survivor. Trauma encodes fear and changes our cells but so does healing. My healing has been profound due to the time I’ve spent on it. As a therapist I am committed to my healing journey, but there’s more than surviving and I want to get into the thriving. True recovery from trauma is living in the present, taking risks again, being joyful despite the past pain/loss/lies, and getting into thrive time. I’m ready for soul-directed living, and I believe the portal for me will be through doing the best self-care I can so that I am well enough to continue facilitating healing in other’s journeys, and I’m hoping to do so in nature instead of within four walls with no windows like many of the clinical settings I’ve worked in. My particular calling is to work with youth who have no belief that they belong or are good. We are losing too many youth to suicide and on my last quest I was shown that they need me. I look forward to learning from you and dialoging throughout this great course.

[ray.lilli]

Thanks Ken and Hannah! I miss seeing you in class each week. I have just integrated my sacred journey in New Zealand into my life and have been dealing with SnapBack ever since. My intention going on that solo two week wander with mountain running and peak (peek) reaching was to receive. I had been struggling with being such a giver for three or more decades of my life that I was depleted and shut down and unable to receive. Nature spoiled me on South Island New Zealand and gave and gave and gave. I had no distractions from my USA daily life/grind that I was able to clearly receive. My heart was softened and opened. When we are working with clients we must hold space for this same reception to happen. We most hold hope that they are entering the heart space to receive. My hope is to work with youth and connect them to nature more and more. I enjoyed reading your 6 month plans and really enjoyed being classmates. I will continue my growth as a coach and intend to somehow make my way into this work as it is my nature already to do it. We are made of the same stardust as nature.

[ray.lilli]

Here is my basic plan for working with a new client as a nature connected coach/guide:

1. Meet physically or via skype with the client to perform a brief consult where we would discuss the client’s expectations, my expectations and way of working, what the risks/benefits are, what payment will be, and what is requried gear-wise for the initial outdoor experience. I might have the client select an image from my pre-cut image box showing me one picture of what they are hoping to get from our time together and to give it a name. If the client does not have gear then I would note that and offer what I could to gear him/her up for the projected weather. We would discuss possible meeting locations and I’d allow the client to choose from several options. I would briefly assess what kind of nature experiences the client has had in the past and address any safety concerns. I’d do my best not to keep this meeting brief as I don’t want to set a dynamic where a lot of dialogue is the norm for our meetings. I want to remain process-oriented and body based, not get stuck in the head.

2. For the initial meeting we would meet in a large park that is easily accessible for the client. In the first session my goal is for the client to have a sensory experience with nature. Client will be guided in selecting a sit spot in the location by my walking with client as they notice what parts of the enviroment call them to sit. I will model nature observance and attuning to the various aspects of the enviroment. I will notice aloud what I see, smell, feel, and touch. I will invite the client to do the same and to continue practice of “meeting” the space. As the sit/power spot is being found and the space explored I will tell client how the sit spot will be used for a meditation that deepens nature connection and that meditation is going to be part of each of our nature connected coaching sessions. For this first session the meditation will be learning and practicing utilizing wide angle vision. After the practice I will walk with client and listen to what the experience of practicing wide angle vision was like. I will speak of the personal baseline, and creating anchors for it. Client will be encouraged to share of the challenges and successes of the session. This meeting could include a wander if client is assessed during consult as at a further place in being nature-connected. I will have a continuum to use during assessment regarding client’s lifetime experience in nature. For at least the first 1-2 months we will meet in the large park to practice objective awareness in the sit-spot, and introduce the wander as well as build OA skills. If an intention emerges organically during this time then so be it. I will flow with the client’s energy and follow him/her. During each mini-wander/wander client will be asked what nature could be showing him/her this time, and what stood out.

3. After objective awareness skills have increased and if/when an intention begins to emerge I will move the wander to a larger wilderness area where nature is more deep and abundant. We will be away from the city sounds, less able to be distracted by reminders of civilization. If an intention has not begun to form from our earlier sessions then I will be direct about helping the client create an intention. My way of doing this is asking the client to free associate to what intention they might want, all the while encouraging no to low judgment. I will remind client that there are no right or wrong answers in the same way that there are no right or wrong feelings. Once the intention is set it will be time to do wanders with the passionate need in mind. As the wander occurs I will be noting synchronicity in nature, following the client’s process, and assisting only when needed. My goal is to help client expand awareness to notice more messages speaking to his/her soul. The client knows the answers. I will fight my judgments and expectations and remain open to what I am being shown in regards to the client’s passionate need. I will expand my awareness of of what nature is showing both of us about client’s process.

4. Each session will include the beginning, middle, and end ceremonies. As we drive to the wilderness (maybe same one each week maybe different. It all depends on client’s movement) we will sever from society through putting technology in the place it need to be, will have a final snack if needed for energy, leave the vehicle warmth, and will discuss safety plan if client has concerns of the area such as indengenous animals/plants/weather. In the middle we will cross a threshold in to the wilderness, review the intention, orient to the location, and begin discovery/wander. In the end client will re-incorporate, inegrate the experience through discussion or artistic creation, and explore what client is taking back to his/her non-dream life thus crossing back over the threshold. At this juncture in “treatment” sessions will be at least 1.5-2 hours long or more if pertinent. 2-3 months into the work client will be taught suspended image technique, creating a mantra, and other rituals that will re-orient client to the inner experience of his/her work in nature (which is his/her work on changing his/her inner world). These techniques will anchor the client’s new growth and help fight the snapback that occurs naturally after nature connection. I will fight the “fix it” trap as client’s resistance occurs and snapback occurs. We will have a meeting off-wilderness if needed to process more of client’s resistance and how to address them, but I will do my best to keep in wilderness and let nature assist and lead.

5. In the 4-5.5 months of the work with client I will focus on extending the time of the wander, play with challenging client to push personal boundaries in nature more to create more space for the peak/peek experiences, introduce the four shields, introduce possible meditation intstruments such as rattles we can make out of natural materials, do new meditations, or keep using what works. It all depends on what arises for the client and what his/her individual needs are and how I can collaborate with nature to meet those needs around creating personal trandsformation. We will always re-assess the intention and modify it if needed. The focus on promoting change is primary in every session and so that intention need has to be assessed each time so that the drive is there. In my own experiences in nature I have learned that I can do much more than I think I can and when I’ve challenged myself to “go a little deeper” I have found the treasures there. I am intuitive and would never nudge a client out of what feels safe for him/her, but I know that nature rewards those who seek more of it.

6. If client is ready then in the final week they would participate in a rite of passage for 24 hours. I will hold vigil while client is in the spirit world and be there for re-incorporation and re-inegration when client crosses back over the threshold. Client will complete our work together in a final session when he/she gives testimony of the rite of passage journey/story and I witness. I will give a gift of art made from natural materials or others that came to me while client was out, or during their testimony that speak or me of the beauty/power/imagery of their journey for them to use for culmination. If client feels so inclined I will facilitate an art making session in nature that helps client integrate/culminate and otherwise hold onto the power of the journey and memorialize it. We will discuss how to re-enter the world and deal with snapback again as it is to be expected, and discuss how I can be of assistance in the future for check-ins on maintaining the transformation or seeking a new one.

[ray.lilli]

Sorry for all my typos and Freudian slips (“I’d try TO keep the dialogue brief in the first session” vs. NOT to keep it brief). And I meant to address Hannah and Melody. Thanks for reading and participating in this great class. See you all soon on the journey.

[ray.lilli]

Melody- The way that nature provided an archway was a neat way to for nature to collaborate with the wander for your friend that day. Anything that resembles a means for passage, makes me excited to see come forth.
Kent- Thanks for the reminder that nature never hurries. I forget that time and again even as I am heading out to wilderness. I rush to get there and often coyote call a few times I am so excited. Then I remember that I have a natural speed limit in nature (5 miles per hour usually), and that when I am on a wander versus training, there is only earth time which I have to orient to with my senses and breath.
I took several people out to wander. At first I had a hard time not asking a lot of questions because I am used to gathering quite a large history on someone in my clinical process. Each time that came up I pulled my awareness back to my senses and gave space for the client to speak or for the fullness of nature to be heard. I was very comfortable with the process as each client spoke of fears of going out into wilderness (severance/preparation), and were encouraged to take their time making their way into the respective wilderness areas with me as a guide in observation mode. Each wander took place a day apart, and on different mountains.
The first client is a woman who I regularly spend time in nature with. She frequently wanders when we are on hikes. I run part of it as she wants solo time and then I run back and check in. She knows what she would like to change in her life, and can identify her need. When we first started together we spend many hours on preparation and severance as she had many fears and was packing to those even though we were just going on a day hike. Once on the trail, she grumbles and then surrenders to experience. She has a low threshold for physical discomfort and we notice that while also noticing how amazing the earth smells. She spoke of her intention with passion. This is the woman who will show up at 4 am if that’s the only time I can take her. Outside of this wander, as long as I’ve known her I’ve tried to empower her to go on her own often, but she is not yet ready. Now I see that she needs me as an active guide perhaps. On the wander she found a heart-shaped rock which is one of many she’s found over the last several years. She always has called it “trail love” but this time notes that maybe it means something about her heart. I simply smiled Mona Lisa style, and she lays the rock heart on some thick wet moss and put dry moss and leaves around it too. Next she is humming and smiling. We noticed how the heart was now insulated and wasn’t going to trip anyone walking by on their journey. She turned to walk back to the trailhead as she stated that she needed to get back to her kids but would like to go out again. When asked what she was taking home with her from the experience, she spoke of needing to love herself just like she is.
My second client wander was with someone who was not initially interested in going out with me, but he said that his intention in life is to “not be so closed” so he decided to come out for a brief walk with me at a creek trail. When I first ask him about what he might be considering changing in his life he gave two answers that had no energy to them. The third time he sounded occupied with, as he spoke of wanting to learn why he is so closed. Ironically, the part of the trail that I wanted to have to collaborate with him was closed so we had a good laugh about that and then I let him choose the next area. I learned that nature can collaborate by not collaborating sometimes. We had to re-route and by letting him navigate, I (with nature) facilitated an opportunity for him to practice being open. He had many memories of good times with his grandfather emerge, as they used to camp-hunt for two weeks every fall for deer season. He found branches and started piling them and talking about making shelter. I saw a boy who had skills that have been dormant for a long time as he is now a workaholic (self-described) and has cut off from his hobbies.
It was beautiful to watch how the earth welcomed him back by providing materials that were the fabric of his memories with his Grandpa. He seemed enlivened and present focused, and only stopped short of making a shelter when curious about bird or animal calls down the trail where an owl often watched hikers from high up. Night was falling. The conversation turned toward the need when we lowered our headlamps and walked as slow as we could per his request because he wanted to enjoy the peace he felt. My perception was that his frequency had attuned to nature and that enabled memories and sensations to re-appear from the last time he was this closely nature connected.
Just like when I collaborate with the unconscious in art, in nature there are many many layers speaking to me at once. I can’t even note all that arose, but was aware of how there is no wrong way to go. Just like the paths themselves, all trails connect in the wander. I look forward to getting more time on feet with clients as a guide. I wonder if this could help workers at local tech firms who are stuck inside all day, and may have resulting imbalances amongst other life issues that could be helped by nature-connection.

[ray.lilli]

Hi Hannah! Deep listening is most certainly an art. I sensed such a profound amount of empathy in you when I read your reply above. Your practice client was lucky to get such an opportunity to be heard by you. Surrendering to doing reflective listening is how I get into deep listening mode. All I am doing is listening to understand and I bat my thoughts away as they arise if they are my personal stuff that buzzes around trying to distract me. I love to ask clients “Can I reflect back to you just to make sure I’m understanding you correctly?” Clients who feel deeply heard always come back to sessions. They drop into sacred space and speak from their souls once they feel safe. I believe they even energetically entrain with my calm state and then the “magic” starts to happen as they are able to become self-attuned and start finding their truths. As an art therapist I listen “with my eyes” which is part of what I do in nature too.

Since deep listening is my job, I didn’t practice with a friend but worked with a few new psychotherapy clients who are mandated to therapy. I find that mandated clients challenge my listening skills much more because they are even pre-contemplative about making change and are often skeptical of the therapy process and of me. I have to mirror a lot more, and talk less. The feedback I give is about being grateful for their presence and courage. I sense their shame energetically and work to be a counter balance to that.

Luckily I was able to take one client out into nature on New Year’s Day and we watched the sunrise over a lake. I wanted to hoot about the beauty of it, but in the beginning with new clients I follow their lead, and am in deep assessment mode. After the ducks landed on the lake in a flurry, she started telling me about her grief pains from the rejection of losing who she thought was a deep friend. She couldn’t tolerate much eye contact, but we had the sunrise and a family of ducks to watch. It was beautiful how the ducks business brought her to talking about how she has noticed that she has friends who will never fail her and that even if she just has one, that is sufficient. I noticed her breathing, her pauses, a warm smile came as we joked about making warmth versus expecting others to provide it. I love how nature is a container if need be as well as a mirror and a totem among so much more. Whenever I feel pressure to say something profound (still happens after 20 years as a therapist) I take a deep breath in for several counts and tell myself that if it comes from the client it is best. I have faith in the process.

Lastly, I have been out of sorts dealing with snapback, a mild physical injury, and juggling many jobs right now, but I found all my shakes this past week. I used to make rattles and shakes which helped my youth clients relax in art therapy group. I would have them make their own and decorate them and they were awesome, but I would often neglect to have mine. My car shake is always being absconded by my 8 year old. Well yesterday I found my red egg shake and I decided that it will join my in my sit spot now or when I need it. All the answers are within, but often relaxing is the key to the door to commencement on the path I want to be on. Much love to you all.

[ray.lilli]

I share this with some vulnerability, I set an intention three years ago this coming January to create more joy in life, and find my place and my people, and i headed to all the mountain ranges I could find to run them and climb. I have been on a long wander since 2015. As I set out to my wander in my small lawn strip of a yard area for this assigment, I found myself thinking about this long wander that has taken me here. Sitting in my sit spot, and old low flat wet stump, I settled into ocean breathing, slowed my blood pressure, and was instantly reunited with my consciousness. My intention was to reconnect with the moment and linger there as long as I can. 2017 has been a challenging year personally and staying grounded has proven to be a major task. Nature has assisted.

The baseline was buzzy ( a 7.5 out of 10 of busy city energy) as I live in the fastest growing mid sized city in the US currently. I had to self-talk my way to my sit spot as I do every time I go there. The first sense that opens for me is smell. I get that delicious “eau du earth”, as I like to call it, that rewards my mindful breathing and roots me into the experience. I sat for a while just reconnecting with this favorite part of nature of mine. I should mention that I did this in the dark after sunset. I love the dark months and take every chance I get to train in the dark, hike in the dark, or be in the mountains at night. It was a little more difficult to achieve quiet mind when I know that there is gang activity in my area frequently and I hear police sirens. I was able to remain grounded.

A mist of rain started as I sat, and I began to feel the pull to walk to the fence and look down to the stream that can be heard running if the Pacific Northwest rains have been very strong. I could hear a slight babble of the creek and felt comforted by it. The holidays are a triggering season for me so I was relieved to find something comforting just over the fence.

When I heard a dog bark across the street, I remembered that there is a ravine AND a pony farm down the street that I haven’t seen for a few months. Ravines are special to me because their depth fascinates me. I can look down into it and see little white specks below which are actually vehicles that have been abandoned (illegally) down into the ravine. At night I use a 600 lumen waist lamp for illumination which enabled me to shine down into the ravine, but I turned it down to 150 because I was worried about shocking animals. It was deep green lush wet jungle foliage in the ravine. It satisfied my eyes, and as it always does it made me wish I were an animal who could explore it safely. Something about the wildness of it greatly calls me. I think it is because it is in contrast to the land-eating housing developments that are taking over the area. Near the developments the “eau du earth” is gone. It smells like some sort of tar. I had to work to keep my nature connection, but I can always look up to the trees when I start to drift. The trees are still here.

Doing a wander is very similar to what we call a “day walk” in The School of Lost Borders, but in this case mine was a night walk. In the day/night walk there isn’t always an intention however. To have the inention of staying connected would have been too perfectionistic for me, but to intend to reconnect when distracted seemed more do-able.

Nature participated as beautifully as always with me WHEN I achieved quiet mind and kept a tether to it when I drifted. Nature brought me back which was one its ways of collaborrating.The “tether” to nature is our senses and conscious awareness. I loved seeing what nature would use next to pull and guide me. This is exactly what has happened for me since reconnecting with mountains and nature consistently and intently three years ago. I learned to drop into breathwork for a longer period when overhwhelmed by enviroment, and to savor each part of nature that is around as well as to focus on one part at a time if feeling uncentered. This wander reminded me how much I love the elements and that dark has no power over me.

I enjoyed reading your unique wander experiences Melody and Hannah. Melody, I found during the 7 Stairs Sequence that I was on a path that I had seen in a meditation done 20 years ago at a Jean-Shinoda Bolen Jungian workshop. I haven’t been on an actual labrynth but love drawing mandalas which sometimes end up being labrynth-like. I am having full-circle experiences which are welcomed and surprising. Do you feel like themes from your dreams appear in nature and vice versa? I do. In my psychotherapy practice I strongly believe that our inner child is the driving force of our unconscious material. My inner child emerges when I am in nature. She is able to guide while playing.

Hannah the description of your wander was beautiful .I could see the ferns blowing in the gentle wind. It sounds like you are tuning in deeply to yourself and got good direction. Relationships can be so complex, but leave it to nature to show us a path.

[ray.lilli]

“The whole situation was a metaphor for my life”. Thank you for sharing your sit spot story. I really enjoyed that you followed your intuition about the spot that first called you. Our sit spots definitely have much to teach us, and your story speaks so much to the microcosmic-macrocosmic dance.

[ray.lilli]

I have been nursing a minor injury which has taken me off of my usual outdoor schedule. I was in the process of training for snow shoe racing, and ultra racing. The injury gave me a lot more “found time” than I am used to having which caused my mind to try to sabotage (my body needs activity or my mind suffers). Mountain training is my favorite dynamic meditation. Finding a sit spot has been a challenge as I’m displaced currently and don’t even have a yard or garden anymore. So I found an old stump with walking distance of the back door, which ironically felt just like home. Dad was a logger and we lived in a logging town. My first sit spot was an old stump outside of my uncle’s home near the Cowlitz river when I was 3. It is still there though my uncle is not. I visited it last summer.

1.The first time I practiced objective awareness in my sit spot I struggled not to judge the location and had to bat away negative thoughts until my breath changed and I could just observe them going by. I noticed that to follow breath is to center and ground me. It showed me that I have more control than I think about my mental state and that nature wants me to orient in present time to keep me true to my internal nature which is grateful and curious about everything happening. I noticed that the “eau du earth” is even in the suburbs and I love it! So wide angle smelling was one focus. It taught me to keep attuned to breath, and to one by one engage each sense. The rest happens naturally.

2.The second time I practiced OA was at work and I practiced narrowing my angel of vision and hearing because I am normally hypervigilant due to being an abuse survivor. At one of my jobs I work with the public in a store and often am alone. I took a break and sat in the staff room where I could center my breath and take in the culture happening around me and in me. I’ve not started taking a baseline at work. I found that I am often not centered, I feel like my gifts are not used well at this job, and I just try to survive the experience rather than enjoy it. What caught my attention was the din of the businesses next door, the way that the flourescent lights cause me to feel trapped, and the awareness that there are no plants in this workplace. I felt like the only natural thing there but then rememered that water and air are there too. It taught me that I can always connect to my nature, to my wildness, even in a sterile setting.

3. The third time of practicing was inside the current residence I am at. It is my least favorite place to be as it’s all I could find in 20 days after landlord booted 7 families from our townhomes due to wanting to double rents. This is part of my awful reality in Seattle WA metro area. Seeing as how I had to be off of my feet, and it was Thanksgiving, I accepted that I need to have an space within this residence to access my inner self despite the fact that it does not meet the physical needs of my family. I found my meditation cushion and micro lights and one corner that doesn’t have boxes in it. This time when I sat I noticed so much resistance to being in this structure. I had to take deep breaths and hold for three second and then release slowly. As I did so I felt myself surrender on the exhales and my grief was able to spill over. I cried for the loss of my pets, my garden, the home I decorated lovingly, and the neighborhood we valued dearly. It showed me how the power struggle I’ve had with my emotions is a losing battle. Feelings are not good or bad. They just are. I let the tears go and accepted my my current disappoinment. I reminded myself that I do deserve a home that is suitable, and I am not doomed to this dark hole in the wall. I noticed my teeth clenching when another layer of hurt was discovered and had to breath into that, and let it flow out with breath and tears. In this experience I practiced WAV to orient myself in the universe which is extremely comforting versus focusing on being “stuck here in this crappy apartment”. This taught me again that I am more than where I live, car I drive, etc etc etc. I am rooted in nature. My physical home may be insufficient, but my spiritual home is permament because it is within me. I can give myself sanctuary through the senses.

[ray.lilli]

Hi Melody!
Thank you for your response. I really enjoyed reading it and getting to know you more. I visited British Columbia for the first time this past summer and am busy gawking at pictures of it when I need to reconnect at least mentally to nature. We share a love of BIG trees (they are sanctuaries as Hermann Hesse once said), and can be found hugging the largest I can find on any given day. I too am an abuse survivor and am in recovery from that. It has taken a lot of therapy to teach me to lower my hypervigilance and trust the universe some again. WAV is therefore a very interesting experience, as I play with feeling powerful versus feeling overwhelmed based on how wide I make the angle and what happens to my nervous system as I do so. Sometimes it is triggering but I have safety plans for that. We are wilderness, but have to first do self care before being able to help others navigate. Most of my experience has been as a therapist, but I always felt like more of a guide than an “expert” because I think each person is the expert on themselves.

[ray.lilli]

I didn’t respond to the powerful readings in my last post so wanted to add a little more reflection from those, and say how much I enjoyed reading your responses as well. Steven Harper’s writing deeply reached me. I am a process oriented psychotherapist who has always felt that I helped clients go into their internal wildernesses. Trained in art psychotherapy, whose father is Jung himself, I loved the depth work and helping clients access their shadows as well as their light. Yet it never felt right to be confined to the office and to neglect the physical side of humanity. As an athlete, I longed to be outside and to get clients outside. It never felt right to psychopathologize. I am loathe to do it as it focuses on impairment. The client was full of strengths and always whole no matter what their referral source said. So I was struggling against a system that doesn’t fully allow wholeness or acceptance of client strengths. Harper’s view of the time in the wilderness being “practice” over “therapy” is spot on! My favorite part of that reading was his statement “Wilderness is a leaderless teacher. There is no one preaching change to us. The only personal transformations that occur arise from within ourselves.” So I was correct in recognizing my place as a process oriented therapist who sees holistically, but being in the office was limiting true use of my vision and gifts.
Harper’s redefinition of “culture shock” as “expanding-reality” shock is gorgeous. What wonderful resonance I found in these readings. Micheal, my tiny waterproof paper notebook will now keep my baseline readings. Thank you.

[ray.lilli]

Reflections from Class #1:
The main points discussed were what nature connection is, why it is important, and what the real challenges are in maintaining it. We also learned some nature awareness exercises and were instructed to practice them. They are: awareness of baseline environment, wide angle vision, and sacred questioning.

I learned that nature connection is both external and internal. It is a soul connection that includes connection to self, uses all senses to connect with nature, and deep listening with an intention.
It is important to be connected to nature so that we can lead a life directed by our soul. Nature speaks to us in metaphors, sights, sounds, smells, textures, gestures, and is covert and overt.
Some of the challenges in maintaining connection to nature for me include my monkey mind and its intensity, being distracted by worldly stresses that won’t matter one year from now, and keeping balance between my many responsibilities.

When practicing the nature awareness skills I experienced the greatest growth with using wide angle vision. I’m normally so focused on my foot placement (I’m a mountain runner and climber) that I exclude the periphery to a degree when in pursuit of a summit. This time I slowed my pace and spread my angle more wide and ended up feeling as if I became part of the wilderness. I was able to hear more and see more thus adding to my experience and causing me to integrate more nature into my soul.

Also I am very aware that there is a transition period when I am going from civilization into nature, and in this time I have found it hard to enter quiet mind. I usually sing songs learned at my own vision quest to transition. They slow my heartbeat and ground me in the present. I also use breath work to lead to quiet mind.

[ray.lilli]

Thanks Michael!I have used nature in outpatient and intensive outpatient treatment with youth and young adults. I am also an art therapist and find that art and nature collaborate similarly with the recovery process. Once I became a mental health specialist I found that I needed specific addiction professional training to truly help as many many mental health clients are affected by addiction personally or in their family constellation. I look forward to taking my practice out into nature more and more and more as the work is so big to try to do on my own. I trust the process and love how nature externalizes and mirrors where the client is at and what their imminent needs are. Trauma is the gateway drug, and nature is the antidote.

[ray.lilli]

Janet I am thrilled to hear of your retreat with The School of Lost Borders as they are who I did my first Vision Quest with. Wishing you a safe and prosperous journey.

[ray.lilli]

Melody, I love how you noticed how loud a small creek can be, and that the energy of nature is palpable. I try to visualize rivers whenever I am feeling stuck because they are so timeless and flow to and from the source. Being fluid in body and mind is a goal I will always have, but when stressed our nervous systems react in ways that are often rigid or constricting.