[Sandy Shea]

hi Josh,

I have been following your posts with interest and admiration and respect. Thank you for the reminder that there are no ‘bad’ parts.Sometimes I forget that. This was a valuable and timely reminder for me!

I hope you are well. Keep on truckin’.

xo,

Sandy

[Sandy Shea]

*Summary Post*
I enjoyed reading everyone’s posts, and wanted to comment on the partswork 2 Webinar, which thanks to Daniel’s list, helped me remember, prioritize, and further think about these subjects:
• Parts Interview–get curious about is it a part or an interject from long ago?
• Soul-To-Part dialogue-the Soul keeps each part real and distinct
• Re-purposing parts-there are no bad parts
• How to use Nature within a partswork framework–Gestalt, symbols out on the land, using parts to explicitly help guide to deeper need
• Is client ready for Partswork? (Disregulation)

And the important point for me to remember: as Coaches we are really obligated do Partworks with ourselves to help us show up as the most real and most potentially effective selves for our clients.
As many have noted, Partswork feels so rich and powerful. I plan on continuing to feel into creative ways to use different material forms and even somatic experiences like dance/movement, using musical instruments, encouraging different voices for each part, to help symbolize and work with Parts in ways that work for the client, where it feels mutually appropriate.
I can see how when a client says “A part of me feels…” I may be already off and running thinking “Aha, partswork!”, when we discover the client isn’t quite there yet, just exploring around the edges right now. I have found that sharing my mandala with clients has proven to spark interest and curiosity about what their own mandala might look like. That could then be given as possible homework, or to work on collaboratively in a future session.

[Sandy Shea]

Hi Lisa!
I enjoyed your post about the colored balls–I can see you there working so skillfully with clients. I like the idea of soft things, and I now want my very own basket of them. Yes, the palpable change when the issue gets clear and a path forward is seen, is so cool to witness! So great to get to laugh with a client!

I wanted to share that for parts, I have used some natural (much harder) objects like small interesting stones, crystals, seashells, pine cones, even feathers and small Buddha statue to represent soul, etc. Although I’m still feeling very new to all this (and frankly in awe of its power to bring clarity) these objects in my limited experience can connect the client with nature without going outside!(in a way), or with other spiritual or meaningful symbolic (likely subconscious) values. I am always curious why they choose what they do, and often so are they! Another avenue to pursue, or at least to file away as ‘additional information’.

[Sandy Shea]

*Initial Post*

I recently had a few Zoom sessions with an EBI NCC student who lives in Europe, with an 8 hour time difference between us. She was just getting home from work and I was finishing morning coffee. Despite this distance between us, I was amazed how she just dove into partswork right there on my screen. She had felt so distant, but once I began the interview, and she started speaking from a part, we felt inches apart.

This was our second session. Her issue centered around a decision of whether to move back to her country of origin. She had several competing commitments, driven by various parts, the tension between whom had kept her from resolving the issue.

It is always a good entry when the client says, “Well, a part of me wants to…”.

By now, I knew this client to be eager to explore her inner world, so I asked what part was speaking and if she’d mind closing her eyes right now and continuing to speak from that part, using the “I” voice.’ We went from there to Soul -to- Part dialogue, and then to representation of more parts who wanted to speak with Soul –all objects found on her kitchen table. Soon, She was having multiple part conversations through the Soul, and i was madly trying to capture the dialogue on paper. I sent this later to her as part of an email follow-up I send to all clients.

This long-distance session was very eye-opening for me and the client! We were able to really clarify the issue for her, and it showed me again how powerful this Gestalt of representational objects–material symbols–is so important to help us really step into being that part and hearing what it has to say as the visual image draws us right into our PFC. I don’t think I’ll ever forget how, when I suggested she use some household items to represent Parts right then and there at her kitchen table, her face just lit up, and she grabbed the salt & pepper shakers. Those parts really wanted to be heard!

[Sandy Shea]

*Summary Post*
Hi all,
After reading through the posts and responses I’m struck with the idea of scale, and how my showing up for a client within a single session can be a microcosm of the longer 6-12 months journey we take when we engage in long-term coaching. As Ben F. said, it seems like long-term coaching is where we ultimately end up with someone, unless they really just wanted help with a very specific issue or question. I found the long-term coaching map that Ivy provided to be super-helpful in my own approach to how i might organize and present a plan to a client, or even how i might think about organizing individual sessions. And, as Lisa said, it is so easy to forget things, so this forum and the webinar was helpful just to review things and go back through the workbook and remembering the Spiral of Change and Immunity to Change, etc. I have session #14 with a client tomorrow, and while I hold some hope that we might begin to shift our focus more long-term, I am looking forward to the magic of whatever happens!

[Sandy Shea]

Hey Ben!
That’s great! I share your enthusiasm for partswork, and how cool it is to know a client can benefit from it. So powerful. My experience so far is that it does take a willing client, and it sounds like you found one! I wonder, maybe there are weights or other gym items that can be used to symbolize certain parts…? Have you done this? I picture you out there on the gym floor, guiding your client…

[Sandy Shea]

Hi Lisa,
So interesting you put in that way–it does feel like a dance and to further illustrate, the client has recently sent me her horoscope for this week which encourages her to investigate her life’s purpose–something we discussed in terms of her long-term goals at our last session. So, yes this is a dance we do, with nature (and apparently horoscope writer Rob Breszny) being heavily involved. 🙂

[Sandy Shea]

Hi Lisa (and all)
I would be really interested in discussing intake questionnaires and what questions to ask! If you guys want to do a little subgroup on FB or elsewhere, let me know. Happy to share mine with you all anytime, and feel it needs more focus on the right questions–and the best way to phrase them. Don’t want to make it too long and daunting, but also do like how questionnaire can save time, and spark curiosity for coach & client.

[Sandy Shea]

Hi Adriana,
I appreciated that you shared your hourly rate–it might feel like a small thing, but I grapple with this question of what to charge, and to see your number (which is the same as mine) is helpful, so thank you!
i use an intake questionnaire which is helpful–but I’ve found I also may need to dive into family history a bit more and this may best be done in person anyway…
It was great how you were ready to move in a certain direction with the client, but then you got a gut check and knew there was more to learn. I agree that in-person sessions are the best, most natural way for us to interact with a client on so many different levels. It sometimes seems like using Zoom is just buying into the technology that creates so many issues for us as humans anyway…

[Sandy Shea]

Hi Josh,
I like that your situation is one that we will all face repeatedly, and the way you described it allowed me to really feel into it. Your solution to offer three session free feels totally appropriate and professional. The way you prepped for the phone call by having tools to present to her at the end was a good way to ensure you were well-resourced yourself, going into the call.

I also find it difficult to do phone or even Zoom calls, as opposed to in-person sessions. Feels pretty difficult to incorporate nature under these circumstances, but with the right client, maybe not impossible.

[Sandy Shea]

Initial Post

I have had multiple sessions with one client and I wanted to use the next session to focus her on longer term goals, and to set some Yaypoints for us along the way. I’ve wanted to do this for a couple of sessions now, and the client has been resistant–something about Michael’s demonstration of bouncing between the South and the East, always seeking the new, and never really drilling down to move into the West, or even stay in the South long enough to experience it fully. So, after this intensive, I came to our next session hopeful and expectant that we could make some progress on this longer-term picture for her, but her life is now consumed with a decision about a major business deal, and this has superseded everything else in her world. This client also has had a challenging time slowing down to experience nature.
When I met with her, she was very excited about the fact that a rock that was her symbol of a “leaping off point” for her–to leap to the next level–the rock had broken into five pieces in a mysterious way, mirroring elements in her looming business deal perfectly…So, while I was interested in longer-term goals, the client’s experience with nature–and symbols therein, had other ideas! I saw how this client was using the visual representations, moving the rock pieces around on the table to mimic different scenarios in her mind. She was totally in her PFC, in the moment. I saw that for this client, the visual piece was so key for her in working with longer term goals. So, while she is focused on the more immediate decision for now, she did state that her long-term life goal was “contentment.” I got a clue to how we might proceed with her–look for symbol out on the land that represented that long-term goal, then work with the symbol directly to draw out useful words or qualities to make the symbol uniquely real. Then agree on yaypoints on the land as well, to help her visualize and internalize the process. This remind me again of what we know: “You gotta see it to become it.”

[Sandy Shea]

Summary Post
I saw a Faceboook meme recently that said, “Grief is love that has nowhere to go”
This tells me that grief has so many faces and ways that it manifests, and that it has an ongoing nature in our lives. We never totally “get over” certain losses.

Our culture honors acquisition, but not loss, although both are a part of nature, and life. Even if we just help our clients to identify and then honor their grief, honor that part of themselves that is feeling so deeply, I feel like we will have done something very useful.

[Sandy Shea]

Hi Lisa,
I really appreciated you sharing about periodic retrospectives with your clients, so you both can name and appreciate progress made, however small. I get so focused on ‘making progress’ with a client, that I forget to honor where we’ve come from! It feels like for me, helping clients see and appreciate the reality of even small changes may help the brain be further encouraged in that direction. With reflection from the coach and their own observation, the client notices these changes have/are undeniably happening with some regularity. A new canyon is being carved. So the client may then be encouraged to move further along this path. Pointing out what (to me) may seem like small changes can help in honoring their journey and getting them to see it with new eyes– which feels potentially meaningful and motivating to the client over the long term. Thanks for the reminder!

[Sandy Shea]

Hi Lisa,
I liked the contrast between the 2 clients–both suffering from grief. I wonder if there is anything to be said about “simple” grief, versus Complicated Grief here? Do you feel that maybe the first client, while undergoing the loss of everything in the fire, maybe is not feeling the kind of layered, complicated grief the second client is?
Just a thought.
I like to envision you, gently trying to draw your clients outside!

[Sandy Shea]

Hi Cory,
Good to hear from you! You said:
“We found out that what she ended up needing was to address the old parts of her that was still holding on trying to stop this new way of being from coming up.” This feels like really inspired Partswork, and yes it surely has a lot to do with the client placing their emotional trust in you so they can access this part of themselves in a loving manner. Congrats!