[taylor.j.short]

SUMMARY POST:

And my LAST (I think) post! Bittersweet for sure.

Wow, similar to what Sheri mentioned on the grief process in finishing up EBI. What a journey it has been. I really love written words and expression, but for this time, I don’t have the ability to find the words for my experience. Grateful.

In grief – everyone is unique and different AND perfect. Grief for everyone is just like we all are – perfectly imperfect. And with imperfection comes the ability to let go of perfection. The tendency of coaches to “get it right” is able to go out the door. Simply holding space and continuously evolving the container and meeting our clients with their grief is the answer. Simply leaning into it, rather than away, is the answer. Unwavering support. Something every single one of us could use more often if you ask me.

What a beautiful way to end this part of the journey. In reflection and remembering how we are all grieving in some way.

xoxo

[taylor.j.short]

Sheri,

I love your sharing of a beautiful session. It was so great for me to hear you cried together. I have been wondering how I can stay so stoic and seemingly unattached when some people are talking and going through so much pain. For me, it didn’t seem human for me to not cry. Hearing your stories helped me with that limiting thought I was having as a coach. Especially with grief. It’s human for us to feel for others and human for us to cry with them. Thank you for your beautiful insights and words.

[taylor.j.short]

Kim,

I could feel the serenity of your session. Interesting that you felt the session was successful with not much integration, but the client may not have felt that same sentiment. Makes me curious if for some people they are ready to move into action to help get their minds off the grief a bit, or perhaps feel like they have more control? And then, I also was curious about the difference between grief and regret? I just had an intake session with a new client and she showed grief around the time she has lost in life and I was thinking of it as more of regret. Which, perhaps is grief? Wishing it had been done a different way? Or part of the grief process. The loss would be the loss of years/time in that aspect. Anyhow, this was great for me to think through as I get into work with the new client – thanks for listening to my process. 😉

[taylor.j.short]

Summary Post:

We are at the tail end here and I will continue to reiterate how incredible it is that we are all so unique in our approaches and work with our clients. I love this so much and love the freedom and opportunity to weave in the science of brain and change when and where it feels valuable. Personally, I am jazzed about it for my own growth as well, but will certainly continue to learn and implement as I grow as a coach. It is important to me that we keep understanding and appreciating how massively intelligent our minds and bodies are.

[taylor.j.short]

Initial Post:

• What steps did you take to establish the Coaching Relationship and focus the session?

To start off, important to note – did not have a client I was working with to support in the grief process. So, my answers will all be hypothetical. In establishing the coaching relationship, I can’t foresee doing anything different working with someone in grief (up front). I think during the session (if/when) it came up – it would be a gentle acknowledgement and affirmation that I am here to hold space and not fix them. That their grief is their grief and no expectations from me as a coach.

• How did or could Grief Counseling principles fit into your nature-connected coaching session?

I think nature is the perfect place for grief. Simply to be in a place of complete present moment, sacred space and quiet for reflection and feelings to arise as they need – what better way than to be in nature. Additionally, as the grief process is so different for all, could see how using nature to represent how they are feeling or even using nature to create a visual representation of their journey with grief could be supportive.

• How did or could you collaborate with Nature and combine Grief Counseling principals, and Coaching principles?

I always love metaphors in nature and people finding answers and symbols through nature. These could weave in together – maybe a sign that their loved one has sent in nature, a simple wander to answer a question they are chewing on, or simply guidance that they seek.

• What ideas do you have for how you might use Grief Counseling principals and nature-connected coaching in the future with your client?

Many of the ideas above. I am also really inspired by the way Kim has been talking about coaching in nature, where you paddle/ride for a bit (movement, silence) and then pause and reflect. I could see that with me as more of a hike or wander, but I love the pendulum of talk, move, silence, digest, then regroup to storytell and reflect. I feel this could be very helpful and healing in grief. Working at nature’s pace. I also could see holding a session in almost complete silence and letting nature do 90% of the work in a session here – to play with that and see how that worked for a client in grief. I think it is so much more about having a safe and welcoming space than anything at all, and giving our clients the permission to do that feels really good to me.

• How do change theory and Grief Counseling principals effect or enhance your Coaching Presence and approach?

So much more relaxed and willing to step into the unknown. Not worrying about getting it right, but trusting that following my own intuition will be exactly what is needed. I know that we now have the tools to how, so it’s more about dancing with experience and experimenting in the moment with you client.

[taylor.j.short]

Nadine! Your creative expression and playfulness as a coach has me super inspired. I love your clarity as well on knowing exactly where you and your client have been over sessions, keeping an eye on the goal, but not letting that get in your way of coaching. It is nice to hear how you go with the flow. And what fun to have a client who you love to coach in that way! Thank you for sharing!

[taylor.j.short]

Initial Post:
• What steps did you take to establish the Coaching Relationship and focus the session?
This was a new client and someone I didn’t know. I established the coaching relationship with him through a few different ways. First, in a discovery call to see what he was looking for, explain what coaching was and to see if it was a good fit. Secondly, as he signed on, I sent over my disclosure form to further seal our coaching relationship. I like to make sure the housekeeping is done up front and out of the way, so we are both on the same page moving forward.

• How did or could the concepts learned this last weekend fit into your nature-connected coaching session?
I could not stop thinking about the depths of the grand canyon patterns in his brain. He was wanting to shift a long-term habitual pattern that even though was no longer serving him, was comfortable and what he was used to. I could so easily see the compassion and what he was up against wanting to move forward.
• How did or could you collaborate with Nature and combine the concepts learned this last weekend with Coaching principles?
I didn’t collaborate with nature in the traditional sense here. In our first session, I simply asked about how often he was getting outside of his apartment. He wasn’t really leaving his apartment at all. So, meeting him where he was, I simply suggested one of his first steps should be getting outside and moving his body in some way at least once a day (working towards his larger goals of feeling better and less depressed in life). He later told me that he went out for a run after our session and felt like a million bucks. I am reminded that working and incorporating nature can look VERY different based on our clients and where they currently are. With this client, it was starting with the simplest step of getting outside at all.

• What challenges did you face? How did you adapt?
For this particular client, we soon realized he was not looking for a coach. This was a super challenging, but wildly informative experience for me. We uncovered this with this repeated unwillingness to put forth any effort for himself. He really wanted me to tell him exactly what to do and then tell me whether it worked or not. Clearly not coaching. From this, I learned a lot and took this into my last ICF Mentor call to understand how to better prepare for this in the future.

• What flowed and how did you build off it?
In the few sessions we did have, he mentioned a few times he really enjoyed when I was simply asking him questions. Whenever I would try to explain anything, he would get frustrated. This was also good for me to understand that a coaching relationship is client-led, but the coach has a seat at the table as well… HOWEVER, good to realize that all clients are different and some don’t care for the explanation on what is going on in their head (the science part). I tend to love the why, so it is good to learn how to scale back to work with the client I am meeting with.

• What did you learn about yourself and nature-connected coaching?
I learned that it’s okay to not get everything right in coaching. It’s okay not to do anything you think you “should” and simply go with the flow. It’s okay to let clients go, when you know they aren’t truly looking for a coach.

• What ideas do you have for how you might use the concepts learned this last weekend and nature-connected coaching in the future with your client?
I am truly jazzed about learning more about the brain. I really geek out and love the science aspect and am fascinated by how our bodies are simply INCREDIBLE. So, I bought all the books and truly do intend on continuing to learn more and more about change, how we work and neuroplasticity. I’d love to offer a workshop in the future on this.
• How do change theory and neuroscience principals effect or enhance your Coaching Presence and approach?
Right now, I know just enough to be dangerous. In time, it will make me more confident and it already has given me so much inspiration to shout from the rooftops how incredible and powerful we are to change our lives in the ways we desire.

[taylor.j.short]

Summary Post:

What I have gathered from my experience and reading others is two simple things:

1. Partswork is super intriguing and powerful
2. Partswork is super hard to explain

That being said, I am determined to figure out a way to explain it so we can get over that hump of misunderstanding and into the magic!

[taylor.j.short]

Mel – so funny you mentioned the self-critical part. I think that’s my logical part simply stating the facts of observation. One part that serves me well! And yes, introjects are so incredibly important as well!

[taylor.j.short]

Sheri! Yes! I love your excited curiosity in how this can all come together for you and your clients. And I so appreciate your mention back to us doing our own work as coaches. YES. Every day. Use it or lose it as you say. Through this, we will fine-tune our personal approaches to guiding through parts! And YES to practice coaching. Would love to!

[taylor.j.short]

Initial Post:

So, I worked with my husband as my practice client. I know, I know – we aren’t supposed to, but I have been really wanting to introduce him to parts, and this was the perfect opportunity.
• What steps did you take to establish the Coaching Relationship and focus the session?
With the relationship we had, I clearly established I wasn’t in the role of spouse and that this was intended to help support him. He has had some idea of partswork in the past, so it was somewhat easy to focus the session.
• How did or could PartsWork fit into your nature-connected coaching session?
Up front, we talked about how this was going to be a two part partswork session. That was the intended and established focus for both sessions.
• How did or could you collaborate with Nature and combine PartsWork and Coaching principles?
In our sessions, we did not incorporate nature. However, I absolutely have the desire to bring parts into nature similar to what we did in our first Parts session at EBI. I intend on brining nature in once the parts have been identified and then will send the client into nature to do some self-interviewing and exploration of those parts. Identifying a part in the landscape and moving around is super powerful and an aspect I am going to bring into my client work.
• What challenges did you face? How did you adapt?
The main challenge I faced was when I got ahead of myself and introduced the soul too early. My client said it was difficult to follow at that point. Upon clarification in a session afterward, I was correct in my gut of simply sticking to part-coach interviewing in the very beginning to establish the cadence first.
• What flowed and how did you build off it?
Frankly, I was wildly impressed by his ability to stay in a part. It flowed so smoothly I felt like I didn’t have to do much interjecting with other parts coming in.
• What did you learn about yourself and nature-connected coaching?
I love parts. I really want this to be my modality. I am still stumbling on my introduction and explanation and demonstration of parts. This is what I would like to master. A concise way to explain parts. I notice I jumble my words and lose the clients. I tried explaining it to another client and totally lost him, so this is my point of growth and opportunity right now. Actively working this.
• What ideas do you have for how you might use PartsWork and nature-connected coaching in the future with your client?
Well, this is the only way I want to work with individual coaching. In long-term partswork programs. I am also playing with working with groups in the workplace. Just have to figure out my explanation first. 😉
• How does PartsWork effect or enhance your Coaching Presence and approach?
Maybe I’m just being self critical, but I struggle with my coaching prescence in parts. When I am explaining, I can see the eyes glaze over and I am very aware of that. Once we are in flow and in the process, I am dropped in and right there with them, but the sharp contrast between the two is a point of focus for me to help smooth out.

• How does Nature-Connected Practices, and PartsWork interface?
So many ways! That’s why I love having nature as my backbone of my work. NCC specific, the seven breaths is the main tool I am teaching my clients to help them get into connection with their soul. As far as nature specifically, the sky is the limit! Parts as pieces of nature, finding metaphors in nature to describe a parts situation, putting together your mandala on the land – so many opportunities!

[taylor.j.short]

Summary Post:

I can truly say, this was my favorite forum to read. I deeply love seeing everyone’s styles, input and creativity come to life. Overall, the take away I continue to come back to here (at EBI) is that nothing is set in stone, be flexible, authentic and co-create the best plan that way with your client. I love that freedom and the ability to do it however feels truest for both parties. Looking forward to working with clients long term!

[taylor.j.short]

Sheri! I love that you have your HARMONY modality! What a beautiful backbone to build on. And Yes, I so agree with you on the front-loading. I just did that this week with a new client looking at LTC. Feels like that simply makes sense. What I do REALLY love is your idea of accountability groups following. I am looking at some workshops and programs in the corporate arena and I think that a opt-in accountability group as a continuing focus would be perfect. Can’t wait to see how it all unfolds for you! Inspiring!

[taylor.j.short]

Kim,

I love the idea of group coaching this way! And I super love the simple goal of having an ongoing check in mental/physical/spiritual… I want that! Your whole post reminded me of “stepping into the unknown” and figuring it out as you go. One of my areas of opportunity for sure. And lastly… a water wander?! I am coming to see you to do just that! Seriously amazing!

[taylor.j.short]

Kim! So inspiring! I love reading about your coaching sessions and how you weave in and out in this state of freedom to uncover whatever should present itself. And I abosolutely loved the little nudge you gave him to ponder what it would look like to move past his old story of flying off the handle. I could feel the shift in energy through your writing. And then how you incorporated the explanations as well! Nice work – super inspiring. Also, loved the idea of talk, then silence to digest. I as a client love that concept so I can sit for a minute with what’s shifting and happening.