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APNC Spring 2020- Mod 1 Lesson 2 Forum
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Objective awareness and Sacred Questions
From each space, sitting, conversing and working, I can sense a synchronicity when shifting into a state of objective awareness. I notice that it starts with wide angle vision and breath. Once there is an awareness of breath, there is an immediate awareness of tension in the body. The objective awareness gives the space to notice tension and begin to release, which is a practice in itself. Tensions are held differently depending on the circumstances. In my sit spot, the tension in my arched low back releases and my spine lengthens. The energy shifts to a more intentional and relaxed stillness, and I can feel where in my body I need to focus more deeply on release. What has been happening is that once I begin to release tension, my breath deepens, and my mental state deepens as well, bringing up what in my mental patterning needs changing. Staying with the practice of awareness shows me a path toward answering both questions: How can I create more of this in my life? And How can I heal this in my life?
While using objective awareness in conversation, I become aware of posture, as well as tension in the chest. With awareness, I am shown my own social discomfort and self consciousness. I notice myself breathing and releasing, and begin to use more whole body type listening. It is easy to get distracted and return to self consciousness. Breath, wide angle vision, and objective awareness bring me back to the intention of whole body listening. From that place, objective awareness teaches me to hold a place of extending greater understanding and compassion.
Work is the most challenging time to practice. There is always so much work, seeking work, scanning my mind and notes to make sure I’ve not missed any work, and then the labor itself absorbs me, like I have to reach the perfect stopping place to allow myself a break. I’ll give myself a goal, achieve it, but not practice a closure and will continue to the next thing. Many times I will be in a lot of pain, I may even be grumpy or angry, but will continue to work, suppressing my feelings, and giving in to obsessiveness. Work hardly ever feels complete. With awareness, there is a greater sense of trust, which shows me that I can actually take breaks and let my body rest, and then see my work more clearly after a moment’s break. Also the sense of awareness is teaching me to move slower and more methodically. To look up and notice my surroundings, listen to the birds and my own heart beat. The awareness shows me how fulfilling work can be, when done from a place of peace and not from a sense of obsession and attachment to minutia.
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@sara.brells – Sara, have you had a chance to read Dr. Joe Dispenza’s “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself”? I can’t say that I fully recommend the book, but he does mention this about memories- “A memory without the emotional charge is called wisdom.” I would like to thank you for your post here, because you’ve helped me understand something about myself. Lately, I’ve noticed myself zoning out; while grooming, cooking, cleaning, outside or inside, driving or just sitting. I have chastised myself for this behavior as it isn’t conducive to accomplishing goals or being productive and successful. However, it makes sense now that my mind, soul and body are just trying to do what comes naturally to them. I read everyone’s posts a few days ago and have been sitting with them until now, and now that I’ve had time to understand what is actually happening, I’ve let my “zoning out” happen- and I’m pleasantly surprised. When I come back I do feel less stressed, almost like I’ve taken a small wander, without leaving my physical place but allowing my internal being to go off and do what it needed to. Question, do you ever feel light and airy? As if you’re floating or that something could pass through you?
@sophieturner – Sophie, isn’t it strange how we can be late/unrelaxed/underprepared but still do a great job and be engaging? I think that even though you didn’t feel like you had a great start to it, you still performed effectively and got the message across. Your instructional time helped the staff raise questions that they had and didn’t know they had. On a side note, your story with your sister and her frustrations around an issue at work made me think of something I recently learned about. Emotional Contagion is a phenomenon where one person’s emotions are so strong they are mirrored by those around them.
@analiesehill – “With awareness, I am shown my own social discomfort and self consciousness.” This makes sense. Tension, on the other hand, is a very weird struggle. It is definitely a practice to consistently remember to
release tension. I carry it mostly in my jaw, neck, shoulders and upper back. I’m reminded of it anytime I pass a mirror and think “Oh, so that’s what a female Hunch Back looks like.” I’m glad to hear that awareness has helped you at work the same way that it has helped me. Slowing down, taking a breath and just noticing things are literally how I get through my day now. -
Practicing objective awareness is easier to do when I don’t have to remind myself to do it. I will preface by saying that I do not like kids of any age, shape or form. This being said, I ask my coworkers about their kids to be nice and have something to talk about. I have been listening to their “parenting struggles” with a new sense of awareness, that while yes they did ask for this by having children and these kids are their responsibility, they also have other real world problems that I may not be aware of. My husband is a machinist, and has repeatedly downgraded what he does to make it sound like it’s so easy and just a repetitive process. While asking him how his day went today he outlined some issues that I’ve never heard him talk about before, or maybe he has I just didn’t ask the questions that got me to really listening. Up until this point I was trying to figure out how I could ask the sacred questions organically in a conversation. While he was lamenting about a poorly made decision by his bosses that will result in difficult changes and timelines for everyone, I asked him what he noticed while talking to his bosses about it, and how they seemed to carry the conversation. He told me how they seemed so sure, but after he pointed out the discrepancies in their plan they were very angry and spread that mood to others. I let him breathe a few times and asked him what he thought of the situation and what these changes mean to him. We had a very deep conversation in a span of 10 minutes, that helped me understand his feelings and I hope helped him go back into work feeling more confident.
Being objectively aware and asking myself the sacred questions throughout the day, if for no other reason than to continue to stimulate my senses and prepare them for a longer and more serious use, has been enlightening. By going outside to the laundry room at work I can tell which of my coworkers were out there based on which stools were moved and what scent I get from the ashtray. I know by how my boss walks down the hall (away from me so I see her back) what kind of morning we’re going to have, and if there will be an employee meeting that really isn’t a meeting at all. I now make time to bond with the dogs before I get them on my table by taking a short potty walk and pointing out the beauty to them, and if I’ve groomed them in the past I make sure to apologize for anything that I could have done that hurt or scared them such as a quicked nail, having to shave a matt out or worse- having to brush it out. I feel that I have had to ask for help fewer times from my coworkers since I’ve made it a point to get a deeper connection with my furry clients. I haven’t gotten myself to answer the “What does it teach me?” question just yet, but I am anticipating a discussion at work that could potentially go very bad (cutting back on hours to focus on EBI and building a clientele/volunteering) and I have to sit on it for a while, ensuring that I go into this with confidence and aware of what I need, instead of focusing on what would be best for my boss.
Becoming self aware has been a struggle for me, because it means that I am now aware of what I am lacking, and once I figure it out it becomes an obsession until I am fulfilled. This is as small as taking vitamins (I’m vegan and have peripheral neuropathy in my toes from a vitamin b12), realizing that my headaches are not always because I didn’t have enough water and they could be caused from stress, and that I am a healthier and happier Allyson when I meditate. I have tried the 7 breaths exercise and it is intimidating, because I have gotten some answers that I don’t quite know what to do with. I’m getting answers though, and that’s what matters.