Brain 2 March 2021 Discussion

[Ivy Walker]

testing

[Allyson Duffin-Dalton]

I have three practice clients through EBI, so I will reference each of them as C1, C2 and C3.

C1- Working with this client has helped me understand life for an older (50+) individual. This client is newly single, struggling with finding a partner, working somewhere that is draining and disrespectful to their nature and path, and wanting to change their future and plans.

C2- This client and I have been working together for about 8 months, off and on, and with varying intensity. Working with this client has been a real treat as I get to see their journey and growth real time.

C3- I have only been working with this client for about 2 months, but the relationship has progressed and we have both become more open in our coaching techniques, styles, and experiences.

I start all of my sessions with “When you woke up this morning, what was it like to be you?” I feel this helps ground my client, instead of them thinking “When I get into my session tonight I’m going to talk about this problem I had on Monday and how it pissed me off…” This question helps me understand where my client is at the moment and get into the same space, it also gives clients the opportunity to get real descriptive. I have noticed when I don’t start with this question the session can move a little slower, versus when I do use it the session progresses more like a friendly chat, with cooperation and excitement on both sides. I also always ask if my client needs a moment to do some breathing exercises, a guided or solo meditation, and if they feel comfortable/need to move or shift. I believe that by me asking these questions it shows that I care about my clients comfort, their feelings and emotions, the energy that they may need to expel, and give them permission to just be. C2 often will leave their desk and go behind them to pull a note from their wall to show me, or to add a note to their wall. I believe that a client that feels comfortable enough to get up and move or walk away while still remaining connected and focused shows that the client feels comfortable and secure, regardless of being on zoom or in person. C1 often shows me their cat and reads to me the things they have posted on their wall, which shows me that I have presented and open and interested guide that allows my clients to feel that I am truly here to be with them during this process.

C1 has been attempting to get back in to the dating scene, while also working on accepting their new role as a coach, and establishing a new life path with their career and hobby. This has been a long time coming for them and changing their mindset to start accepting payment for the sessions instead of offering them for free. C1 has also expressed numerous times, on different levels of intensity mind you, that they are ready to quit their job and start their coaching full time, or convert their hobby to full time, and pursue a profitable career with either of those options. I have truly enjoyed working with this client because I can see their progress and watch from the sidelines how well they are doing and where their future is taking them. Meeting 4 times a month has also helped me to try new techniques without the fear of really messing up; if I met with a client once a month for 90 minutes, I may only have one shot to try something new, however since we work together more regularly than that I have the opportunity to introduce in the beginning of the session that I would like to do something different, or work on something with the client that they seem interested in doing that I otherwise may not be able to. This client, being my first longterm coaching client, has helped me with my own brain change and accepting a new role in my life. This particular client takes a walk around their subdivision every evening so I liked to wrap up sessions with “What are you taking on your walk?” This has truly helped me feel like I am closing a session and getting permission from the client to close it out. Then, I make a note about what they took and at the next session I ask what they brought back.

C2 has been doing extensive work on their garden and developing it into an outdoor area to hold space and facilitate sessions with their own clients. I truly enjoy getting to hear about their progress and see the joy they exude when they talk about it. I know that through working with this client and witnessing the growth they and their garden are going through, that nature alone is bringing happiness and excitement, clarity and dedication to their future.

I would like to do this more with clients that I have in person, but I do not actually have any, so zoom will do! I want to incorporate gardening, herbs and dirt into my sessions with clients, and have them pick a plant/seed that they can care for during the work we do together. I want them to be able to confide in their plant and report back to me with the results of its growth when they vent to it or when they rave to it. I would also like for my clients to be able to develop a ritual that includes time spent in nature daily—doing something for themselves, something for the earth, or something for their community.

Working as a nature connected coach means that I have to show how building and developing a connection to nature can be healing, transforming and challenging. It isn’t as easy as just go sit outside for a few minutes, but also it is as easy as that. There are many barriers for people that prevent them being able to dedicate the time to such a change in their life, but working through those walls and issues can help bring clarity and openness.

[Sophie Turner]

Ally, I love how you open sessions so much that I have used it with my own clients and even use it to check in with myself. I love that it invites reflection and a level of playfulness and curiosity. When we first wake up in the morning there is always a small window of time where we are free, before the obligations of the day take hold, wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could hold that space open for a little longer each day and ultimately take on life all day from that place of curiosity and presence. When I start my day with this question I feel it better sets me up to do just that. Now to make it a daily ritual rather than a few times a week.

I enjoyed a snapshot of each of your clients, the variety of where they are and how fortunate they are to have you as their guide. I’m always amazed at how powerful a session can be via zoom and I too am eager to see how that shifts when playing on the land with clients in person.

One sentence that struck me right in my heart space was “that nature alone is bringing happiness and excitement, clarity and dedication to their future.” As I look out the window to the bottlebrush, the birds and bees dancing from brush to brush, it is a grounding observation. I’ve popped that observation on my wall as a reminder when I’m feeling overwhelmed with all that needs to be down to feel like progress is being made. Perhaps nature is gently telling me to slow down.

[Jennifer LeCompte]

Right off the bat, can I say I love this question of “When you woke up this morning, what was it like to be you?” Man, what a cool question! This inspires me to think of my own opening question for sessions. I also love your plant idea, having something to cultivate. I have thought of sending out a small plant for my clients before, but haven’t acted on it just yet. How have your clients responded to that?

I also echo your experience with having a long term client. I find that it has grown me as a coach while my client has grown as well. I personally was a bit intimidated by the idea of having someone long term at first, but have found it to be really cool to see all the growth and awareness in myself and my client. I’m curious if you and your long term client set a time goal. Did you agree to be long term, did it naturally happen, is there an ending date in mind for you work together?

Sounds like you are doing amazing work. 🙂

[Sul]

In Coaching Skills by Jenny Rogers p. 71 there are some useful tips on approaching a session from a brain perspective. One tip is to educate your client about their brain and how it functions. If we “teach clients how the amygdala and limbic system generally work as a way to control it” it can support them in regulating their nervous system as they process emotions. This then can guide them in feeling like they are participating in more of their change as guided by their own knowledge. I find it empowering to educate a client in this way because as a coach I want to dispel any hierarchy or concept of being the expert on their life as my philosophy is that the client is the expert on their own life. So framing this basic brain stuff as a way to bring more awareness and coaching presence is one part of my approach in cultivating autonomy in the coaching relationship. From a feminist perspective I see this as valueable to the dismantle the harness of oppression in a client especially women. I say this because historically in a wide angle view of gender and social status women have been for so long unable to be the authority of their life. There are many examples through history and seen in literature. The sociological context of women has had some dominant patriarchal ideology that prevented them from education, owning their own land, standing alone as sovereign being conditioning them to a social identity that is either the role of mother or “their place” in the home and to some degree unable to make political decision. There are degrading social connotations and stereotypes of women in society that perpetuate false images of women especially reading their emotional lives. With more knowledge of basic brain education the sources of oppression might begin to loosen its muzzle in the wild of women . What I’m saying is that brain perspective can demystify and shed distorted socially constructed beliefs in society regarding gender role and status and give permission to be guided by the function of emotions toward the change they want.

What I’ve used and seen in my coaching practice

What really stands out in the neuroscience principles that is going to help my coaching presence is teaching about the function of the conscious mind. A client may want to change something but never reach their goal. AS coach I can enter a session and think about the process of change they may be in and how that corresponds to the part of the brain that is working at that time. What I took away from the lecture was the prefrontal cortex is the place to set intentions; it is the conscious mind. Then there is the reticular activating system the RAS which is the network of nerve pathways that signal the brain. The function of the RAS acts as a way to program what the client wants. So as coach then my job is to guide the client in discovering what they really want to their RAS can look for it. Then comes the magic as I call it known as ritual. I think back to the SMART goals in collaborating with the client to ritualize their life. This is where the nature-connected practices can help bring some creativity and tangible practical sensory experience in their transformation. I’ll reference the Coyote’s Guide here “with nature, there is no one-size-fits-all curriculum” (130). This is the part of coaching that seeks to get to know who the client is and what their environment and landscape is like and through this collaborate on a nature-connected practice that excites them. So far in my practice I’ve noticed that looking for what makes the client come alive regarding nature and what special connection they may already have is a door to co-guide their ongoing process of discovery and threshold of becoming. It is unique and tailored to their intimate relationship where all these concepts interface. I personally always introduce the concept of the vision council which so far I have noticed ignites the inner child fire of innocence and wonder. I think there is some kind of association between the words nature and adventure that resonates for many and my approach is to invite adventure into the coaching relationship. The best part is that I don’t have to do anything except point toward the expertise of nature to co-guide. In this way I am deepening my nature-connection by guiding others to seek nature for guidance.

[Sul]

Response 1

@ Ally

Hi Ally,

I appreciate the insight gained from your initial post. Providing examples of three different clients shows the various ways you approach coaching. I enjoy your question you ask in the start of your session which I can see brings them into the present day awareness. I agree offering the care and consideration to shift into the session opens up the space of being. I think that observation of how a client is being that day provides a friendly way of assessing where they are with their goals. Nice job! From a brain perspective how has it informed the techniques you mention using in session. Where do you think C1 is in the process of change? I’m curious how you bridge nature-connected practices with C 2 garden envrionment. I wonder how neuroscience principles inform your session with these people. Have there been any rituals co-created? Sounds like you have a great start with these folks.

[Jennifer LeCompte]

In Siegel’s Pocket Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology, he writes that “Awareness is also a crucial aspect of how we use the mind to alter the course of our lives, to learn new skills, and even change the structure of the brain itself, and to reflect on what has meaning. Awareness makes choice and change possible.” (1-3). One of the phrases that constantly sticks with me is that awareness creates the possibility of choice. Without awareness, we aren’t aware that there is a path, much less a door that leads outside to that path to being with. To Siegel’s point, we need awareness to bring ourselves to a place of choosing.

With guidance, awareness becomes a golden currency for change. Bruce Lipton stated that “When we struggle or fail to obtain our goals, we are generally led to conclude that we are victims of outside forces preventing us from reaching our destination. However, neuroscience has now established that the conscious mind runs the show, at best, only about 5 percent of the time. It turns out that the programs acquired by the subconscious mind shape 95 percent or more of our life experiences.” (The Biology of Belief, 122). Coming into awareness then, is a huge deal for all of us. As guides, the questions we are asking is with the hope of making the unconscious conscious. Then, with awareness comes the ability to make choices. Once choices are made, new neural pathways are established like the fragile saplings of spring. Then, we tend to them and support them until they become established trees.

One of my clients just started a new position where she is doing work she has never done before. She has the skill set, but the tone and manner of the work is different than previous jobs. Her concern mainly lies with being in an environment where she won’t be denigrated or treated like a machine that is meant to continuously churn work out. I asked her, “Have you ever been in a position where you have experienced a supportive work environment?” “No,” she responded, “never.” “Ah, so you have no framework for what that might look like in your new environment.” She looked stunned, because it never occurred to her that there was no frame of reference for what she was hoping to experience. This happens all the time in relationships, as we craft our expectations with what we know and have experienced. If a child learns that babies are carried to homes by storks and placed on doorsteps, then that will be a child’s frame of reference for where babies come from until someone tells that child different. That seems simplistic and a “duh” kind of idea, but extrapolate it further to unfamiliar experiences for our brain. In my client’s case, she has never had the experience of what support looks like in a working environment. She does know what a combative environment looks like, and has a primed RAS that looks for those signs. Now her brain is taking its knowledge of working environments and continuously scanning the mental database for signs that conflict is coming down the road. And, she isn’t finding it, which is causing internal conflict, because there is no established neural pathways in the database that matches to the more supportive environment she now finds herself in.

We can look at this with the cases of people who have particular patterns in relationships. They may have no clue what their “dream” relationship looks like. While it may seem questionable why someone might end up in a less than stellar relationship, when we consider how the brain is looking for recognizable and predictable patterns, it makes a great deal of sense. It also makes sense how one could sabotage a supportive relationship due to not having any clue how to navigate that kind of new relationship.

Even in an increasingly positive and affirming situation, support matters if there is no neural framework for what is happening. In Why God Won’t Go Away, Newberg writes that researchers found “anxiety was caused by the frustration of the mind’s insatiable need to sort confusion into order and the difficulty in doing so when overwhelmed by information.” (60) Until neural networks are established and clients are well on their way to a place of termination, the support of a guide can be invaluable. Otherwise, it’s easy for the brain to rely on the familiar networks that have provided information, experience, and predictability for so long.

There has been moments as a client where I have felt that place in my brain and have only found the silence of an unformed connection. It’s actually quite staggering to try and pull something out of the darkness, only to find that nothing is there. Change is absolutely a challenging process, which is why having the intention to change is an imperative part of the guiding process. I’m glad to have experienced those moments when I reach out to find that there seems to be nothing to hold. It is a good reminder of how it feels to embark on a journey when I don’t know what is ahead – a reminder of the power of empathy and support for all those in my practice and beyond.

[Sophie Turner]

Jen, I’m always so inspired by the way you link ideas and present them, every intensive I think I’ll take a more academic approach next assignment, be more like Jen, and alas I don’t. Clearly still not over the endless academic papers from my masters 😂

Neural pathways are so fascinating and like you said reaching into the dark and finding nothing.

Random story…

I had an experience at a gym earlier this week, I’ve finally returned to training and this gym is like no other I’ve ever been to. During my first session, introduction and foundations to the training, it became very apparent that a growth mindset is one of the foundations in this place of physical transformation. The language and getting to know you questions, all felt like I was in the right place. Anyway I digress…

While trying to do a manoeuvre correctly – I was hopeless, bad habits, the trainer said ‘no worries, you’ll get this in no time, you’re making new neural pathways and a couple of weeks this will be comfortable.” What did you just say? An AHA moment where I least expected it. I have a feeling there will be a few of those training with this community.

And absolutely, awareness is key!!

[Jennifer LeCompte]

I find that rather amazing that

A) you tried something that was new and unfamiliar

And

B) That your trainer spoke of neural networks.

That’s delightful! Kudos for doing the uncomfortable and unfamiliar. And yes, you will absolutely build those networks and be a pro at all sorts of maneuvers pretty damn quick. 😊

On a smaller scale, I’ve been learning Scottish Gaelic. All the different vowel sounds and breath sounds have been like mouth yoga. I didn’t think I would be able to replicate some of them, but I have been able to with some brain retraining. It’s hella fun, yet intimidating when get a new batch of words. 😳

[Sul]

Response 2 @jenniferlecompte

Hi Jen, awareness is key! But it is great to teach about it from a brain perspective and how it can benefit you. I wonder with the distraction of social media and false idea of social identity what are people especially younger generations aware of? Awareness makes me think of presence. They seem almost the same. What do you think? Do you think the mind is trying to sort out the confusion from technology overwhelm? I appreciate how you state “change is a challenging process”. I would even have the audacity to tell my clients that so that can open a door for chatting about resources when things get harder during their process of change. Empathy is like a magic mirror. Literally mirror neurons are linked to empathy. I feel as guides we hold this invisible quest item for their transformation. Great insight as always Jen!

[Jennifer LeCompte]

Hey Sul. I would say that awareness and presence can be pretty interchangeable. I do know that technology really becomes and issue for my kids, and even myself. What I tell clients, and often my own family and friends, is that we haven’t had a brain hardware update in 30,000 years. Our brain is better accommodated for a more rugged way of living than we actually live now. So, the constant persistence of technology in our faces, as well as the expectation of being super productive flies in the face of where our brains are at their best. This isn’t to say we can’t or shouldn’t learn, but that we need to be careful with the expectations and demands for our brains. When I think of sitting outside with that 360 awareness, the slowing down to take in the fullness of what is around me gives me more visibility into what is around me. Our awareness is better when we are slower. This is directly contradictory to how we move as a society, where most things are expected to have quick turn arounds. I often wonder at the link between anxiety and our culture. It seems much more prevalent based on what I’ve seen as a high school teacher and a parent. What do you think? Have clients spoken to you about the prevalence of technology in their lives at all? Is it just assumed that we are all supposed to be ok with the pervasiveness of tech in our lives?

[Sophie Turner]

Awareness makes choice and change possible (Dan Siegel). For me this intensive took my awareness to a new level, awareness of who I am personally and who I want to be as a coach and just what powerhouses our brains are. I felt so empowered and excited after both brain intensives I just wanted to devour more content and share it with my clients.

Take aways…

Communication in the brain is metaphor, symbol, feeling, emotion, dreams, vision, words. Your inner vision.

One of my strengths in coaching is my ability to thread the key metaphors the client provides throughout the session and linking them back to the goal. I love using metaphor and will often find myself a bit lost if the client can’t find the metaphor or images to describe their desires/challenges. One of my weaknesses! I would like to be more direct and get deeper into the core of the client’s deeper need, I sometimes feel that I get part way there and then go with that. The times I’ve really nutted this out with my client, the actual coaching, threshold is quick but so powerful.

So from communication to hacking the brain and cracking our inner programming…

RAS

The reticular activation system is a concept that blew my mind, how did I not know this already or pay more attention to it if I did? The idea that I can program (HACK) my mind to achieve my dreams is WOW!

My awareness expanded so much from this one concept.

I for one struggle with ritual but learned here that I over complicate them and infact have several rituals from hiking, stitching, reading and journaling that all serve to recalibrate and guide me. I do want to go a step further with this and religiously integrate a short ritual that sets me up for the day, a cup of tea, my sit spot and if time allows journal how I woke up and who I am becoming. What my rituals lack is that connected intention and I’d like to nurture that in my daily practice. I feel this is key to being able to serve my clients more powerfully. I’m also more aware that I am already doing this and can help my clients in this space NOW. Before there was a lot of self-doubt, my expectation around ritual meant that I would never meet it and I believe it is very difficult to coach others in that space when personally I was never going to be able to do it for myself. This has been a rich takeaway and something I am integrating into my daily practices and coaching.

Action planning.

My next take away is the importance of action planning, how can I be more deliberate in this to better serve my clients? I’d like to bring more of the thoughts/feelings/images into the action space utilise them to solidify the clients connection to what the client discovered in the threshold. Encouraging the client to draw on these thoughts/feelings/images to increase their awareness and make lasting change.

Ultimately, awareness comes from growth and that expanded awareness empowers us in the choices we make in growing into who we are becoming.

[Jennifer LeCompte]

You love metaphors too? I love metaphors! I agree with you that you have a strength in linking key metaphors and bringing them back to reflect on goals. I really enjoyed the times where you were my coach, and I felt seen because you could see the story behind the story. I like to think that as coaches, we get permission to access this core of our clients in a way that gives us visibility of the raw and vulnerable spaces our clients don’t share with others all the time. IT feels sacred.

The RAS thing blows my mind too. I resonate with the over on-location fo ritual. I also wonder if the word intention can sometimes have a heavy mantle, making it feel a bit loaded or like a box you have to check. I have found relief in redefining what tribunal looks like for me, and it sounds like you have done the same. Have you found your understanding of ritual in your life helpful to guide your clients in understanding how ritual can help them in their lives?

[Sul]

Summary

I see myself in the role of NCC as a guide who is a teacher, educator, facilitator, magic mirror holder upper with great awareness and presence. Serving in these frames with my co-guide Nature is a unique experience thus far. What I am reminded of is how do I hold all of what I’ve learned at EBI. I see a steady baseline of foundational know how but also I see the ability to adapt and shape-shift to the need of the moment. To approach holistically because we are whole are clients are whole. I also wanted to mention the teachings on grief a bit. I learned that everyone has a relationship to grief. Everyone has a relationship with loss. Every relationship has a story.

Personally – my relationship with loss is sacred and complex mythic initiation into the mysteries of life . I see through a mytho-poetic lens. The realm of the dark goddess the midwife of death and gatekeeper of threshold for souls. It is part of being human of being alive and it has shaped my beliefs attitudes behaviors that have many stories linked to them.

Professionally – Doing my own grief inventory has been critical for my role as guide. I will continue to keep that taken care of so I can be a clear channel for the work. But also for the people who I do work with I see more clearly after this intensive each client will arrive with their relationship with loss and a story or stories that are woven into who they are today. I’ll be more prepared to guide through it.

[Sophie Turner]

Summary…

Sul, I’d forgotten about the loss line and your post has triggered just how powerful I found it, the process of mapping out each loss, feeling what came up and learning from that. I found myself surprised when some losses did not trigger the emotional response I thought they would over another another. So many learnings and awareness from that one exercise alone.

I like the idea of the coach as a shape shifter, drawing on the resources we have learnt for each individual client.

Overall, I’m reminded and inspired by how powerful our brains/minds are, there is so much to learn, integrate and practice. In doing so, increases our awareness and ability to make choices that lead us to our deeper need. Without awareness, we cannot see the wood for the trees, we cannot make the decisions fully informed by the deeper need and inner knowing.

Also ritual, ritual, ritual, with INTENTION!!

[Sarah Hope]

There are two clients that I chose to focus on when practicing the skills learned in this intensive.

One client was highly analytical and I intuitively knew he would benefit from an explanation of the brain. His goal was to become more present and connected to his life as a father and husband. We talked about the PFE and the practice of mindfulness and ritual. For him, this allowed him to connect with the work we were doing and give himself more fully to the process.

The other client had a completely different need. She had been having trouble identifying what she really wanted though she knew she wanted to change her career and was clear on what she did NOT want. She was not interested in hearing any explanations or theory- so we dive right into experiential practice. Rather than examining why we breath, we would just breath and notice the feeling and address what came up. We worked mostly with awareness. I would track her and stay with her as she identified important emotions. This seemed to give her the safe space to clarify what she was feeling. When she was growing up in a religious household she was not allowed to express her wants. This resulted in a blockage in being able to visualize or name what she truly wanted. I came to realize that for her she needed to identify what she was feeling before she could express what she wanted.

[Sarah Hope]

Wow! What a cool concept you bring up here. I love the idea of educating women on brain function as a feminist tool of liberation. This is mind blowing. I hope you work with it more in your coaching world- it could be revolutionary. Understanding the brain and the function of the RAS could have the potential to liberate women from the confines of oppressive ideologies and the freedom to choose different though patterns, ultimately creating a potential new reality. Woweeee!!! I’m so thrilled with this idea. Thank you.

[Naffer Miller]

I love all the required readings that have been assigned and the recommended readings that have been shared, both by our instructors and our cohortmates. For example, I have found the book Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, by Joe Dispenza, to be enlightening, interesting, applicable, and at times, mind-blowing.

I have to say, however, that I can’t stand the title.

Why does Dispenza want us to hold the intention of Breaking the Habit of Being ourselves when we read his book? Why would we ever want to hold that intention when we are partnering with our clients in a coaching relationship?

Throughout this entire course, we have been discussing the importance of starting from places of strength, beginning with resource, and trusting that our clients have all the answers inside of themselves. There is value in each and every one of us, flaws and all. All that we are has served us at one time or another. The title of Dispenza’s book just sounds out of key and disharmonious with the rest of what we have learned, experienced, and discussed.

“All change is difficult, even positive change.” I have heard myself say that more times than I could guess over the years. I don’t remember where or when I first heard it, but it resonated so powerfully and so deeply that I have carried it with me ever since. Whenever I am working with my students, talking with my two children, facilitating a session at work, and now guiding with a client, this saying is an actively vibrating wave in the undercurrents to those exchanges.

Change is difficult, and that we have so many resources available to help us through change is evidence of that difficulty. Both the Brain and Change need a new Public Relations firm, though. Let’s start with the title of Dispenza’s book.

How about Be Yourself and Create New Habits?

Or You Rock! You Can Create New Habits! You’ve Got This!

While I’m on this topic, I’d also like to rename some of the “beauty” products out there, like anti-aging creams and freckle reducers. That’s a different post for a different day…

In most discussions of which I have been a part about the brain and change, there is a tendency to lapse into negative phrasing. “The brain is lazy” is a phrase I’ve heard often, and we’ve even used it in our NCC course. How about “efficient”? What if we reframed the brain as one of the most complex systems on the face of the planet that is also one of the greatest “energy conservationists”? Change can also be reframed to focus on creating, moving forward, growing, and resilience. Resilience itself can even be reframed from “bouncing back from” to “springing forward towards”!

One of my favorite activities to do with groups is to have them close their eyes while I repeat, “Do not think about a red ball. Whatever you do, do NOT think about a red ball. Think about anything other than a red ball. I repeat, do NOT think about a red ball.” I have used it to introduce a number of topics, and there is always an element of reframing discussed. In our NCC discussions, we talk about asking powerful questions, and we have even practiced restating a question to make it open ended, less leading, and so on. The same goes with our reflections back to clients and what is focused on in our statements. I believe these are not just about semantics, and they are all key to supporting the changes going on in the brain. The brain processes, “Don’t run!” very differently than, “Walking feet, please.” The responses to and eventual habits created from those repeated responses are also vastly different. Do we want to focus on NOT running and any negative consequences of failing to comply, or do we want to focus on walking and the positive successes enjoyed of practicing that new habit?

I don’t want to break the habit of being me. As a Guide, I also don’t want to start from a point of breaking anything in/with/for/about my clients. We all rock, and we’ve all got this!

[Naffer Miller]

Summary

When we do the seven breaths, we consider one of two questions, “How do I heal this?” or “How do I create more of this in my life?” Those questions are focused on growth and positivity. The answers to both questions and the subsequent actions are going to present varying degrees of challenges and difficulties, but the questions themselves are setting us up for success by firmly rooting us in a positive state from which to heal and grow. We can facilitate change for ourselves and in working with our clients by keeping an eye on that red ball, waking up our RAS’s and orienting to what we want, and focusing on the “DO”.

In thinking about those breaths, which are often surrender breaths, and about reframing when talking about the brain and change, I have also been thinking about the word “surrender”. Going back to Dispenza and other NCC conversations, we have looked at crossing the river of change, leaving one side completely and arriving upon the shores of the other. When we accept that our “old selves are just going to be there,” I get stuck on the word “just”. I believe that we are a culmination of our experiences and our collected moments leading up to each of our present moments. We could not arrive where we are without having been where we were. Why does the old self need to die? Why can’t we get rid of the word “just” and fully accept ourselves for who we are, what we have experienced, and how the old is going to indelibly inform the new?

I’d like to, instead, say to my old self, “Thank you. Welcome to our present. We are here because of you. We are honored to join with you as we all step forward into the ‘new unpredictable, unfamiliar’ self.”