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Foundation Three- January 2019
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Summary Post
Working in the threshold experience with several practice clients has really opened my eyes to the immensity that is involved with each individual. I remember sitting in the lodge and thinking of what to look for, and now I realize it is so unique (yet still recognizable) in different people. Taylor had pointed out that there is no one right way. I found that so true! Everyone is on their own path, and I found I walk with others during those moments of transformation. However, really seeing how each person gets there is really a thing of beauty. I noticed what works for someone might not work for another. We all have these experiences of working in the threshold, but it is never going to be the same. The energy there feels similar, but the specifics of how it looks in every one of the clients’ lives is as unique as they are. -
I meant to do a summary post, but didn’t mark it as done, and don’t see it now. So I will go ahead and do one now. I just re-read all the posts from this foundation, and now that we have had another week together the things that are said seem even more real and alive to me. I found myself lingering over several sections of other’s posts, especially when we were talking about trust and what a big impact that has on work as a coach. Just tonight, re-reading MJs posts, also got me thinking back on all the different times I have been an observer and have observed such different ways of coaching. And different ways we all show up as clients! With more experience with EBI than when we first created these particular posts the things that we discussed seem to becoming even more true.
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***Summary Post***
Sorry so late on this one!
After reading and going through everyones interactions on this module, I feel a lot more comfortable about allowing myself to accept and go through the Threshold experience. Like my initial post said, I was very hesitant at first to open up, and it sounds like a lot of you were as well. I truly appreciate the vulnerability of this cohort because it allows us to gain experience for how to work with our own clients. Creating awareness plays a huge part in the Threshold experience, also 50/50. Without allowing that other 50% of nature to come in naturally, I think that Threshold would feel too structured and really head in the opposite direction of what we are looking to achieve.
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*Initial post*
My experience as a client in severance and threshold was most powerful when I identified a genuine and urgent deeper need. During the course I’d struggled to present coach-able issues that weren’t long-standing explorations of self that I hadn’t already thought about extensively. When I came up with an urgent and uncomfortable issue that I’d been procrastinating on, I found the most benefit. It sounds trite, but I simply needed to admit I was stuck and ask for accountability. MJ checked in later per my request and kept nudging me until I’d completed my task, which was a huge relief. In this instance, my experience was less of an a-ha threshold moment, and more of a practical process. MJ supported me by continuing to ask open ended questions, and also asking how she could support my intentions. It worked! And it makes me remember that all kinds of coaching strategies and paths are valuable.
I usually find self-awareness, growth, and peace – threshold experiences – when I’m alone in nature. Recalling these experiences gives me a lot of faith in the 50/50 agreement, especially on land that I resonate with. Putting that agreement into words during our first training really helped me explain what can feel like a mysterious process, and it greatly informs my sense of confidence and my strategy as a coach.
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Comments:
I’ve just read through all your posts and I’m grateful for several points that were made that are resonating with me:
– Lisa helped remind me to stay empathetic to clients’ varied levels of comfort in nature. I take being comfortable in nature for granted and forget that everyone is on a spectrum.
– Ben F reminded me how vulnerable it can feel to be coached. Being sensitive to this can help me go at a pace that best serves my client.
– Sandy put my feelings into words with his paragraph about his internal compass. I often feel mildly ill at ease because my internal compass is hard to read when I’m in the city and surrounded by people. It’s a constant battle to find the time and space to allow my internal compass to steer me.
– I’m definitely feeling Taylor on finding questioning to be more layered and challenging than I realized.
– Lisa brought up the two different coaching styles of her sessions and it makes me a) appreciate all of our unique coaching styles, and b) reminds me to stretch my coaching style, maybe even emulating others, to be able to draw on a wealth of techniques that can benefit my clients.
– Ben M, I think that what you described with being able to go deeper when you have attachment to place is something that I’m struggling with. I’ve experienced the same thing. I really feel like I need my own, private land to develop a relationship with to be my best self. The 50/50 partnership works incredibly well on that that I know intimately. -
Being in threshold really showed me its importance and power of this part in the process of ceremony. It showed me it can open up opportunity for doing something differently/stepping out of my story. Threshold it a necessary part to go through and experience, it can create new path ways of thinking and experiencing.
Using nature in my threshold process taught me about the unlimited possibilities the nature has to offer. I can incorporate nature into threshold during my coaching by using all the different experiments and experiences that we have learned to guide a client into new awareness or any threshold experience they need that nature offers.
To reach that “place” as a coach I often find myself having to slowdown and focus on the experience my client is having. This allows the session to be client directed and centered around the miles stones and experience.
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Ben,
I had a very similar threshold experience personally. At first, I could not find the energy to do anything about my anger but I found a tree and the open space allowed room for that anger energy to come out and I felt better after. It is very disjointing though to go from talking about something, to feeling it. It is much easier if the feelings can be present through out the whole severance faze. -
Cory,
Presence makes all the difference, doesn’t it? You can really feel how easy it is to open up and share an experience with another person when the energy is open, non judgemental and supportive. -
*Initial Question*
Kick-off Question: Reflect on your experience as a client in the “threshold”. How does that experience inform your coaching and why? How did Nature participate in your process and what does that tell you about coaching others? What ICF core competencies are essential for you to practice and build on to feel confident in that “place” as a coach? This is not a feedback session to your coach, but a self – reflective response.
Looking back on my threshold experience as a coach, there was a lot of fear and nervousness to do the right thing. But the thing that I realized was that nature and the client were really doing the work together. I was there to provide a safe space to create reflection. It was much harder to mess up than I thought and it required a lot of trust in the 50 50 rule as well as a coaching presence that inspired trust and safety to do this. -
*Summary post*
I found the coaching skills book to be essential to understanding effective questioning, goal setting and challenges. This book will be something I will be re reading periodically to remember the basics and to get through threshold which can seem messy and confusing. The one piece of advice that I will always remember is that this is hard to mess up. We as coaching can’t do too much damage. The hardest thing will be to remember not to go into advice giving and list making. -
Foundation Three Initial Post
Being in threshold was an interesting experience for me as the client. I felt I had a hard time letting go and just doing something. It’s not that I didn’t trust Nature would be there for me. It was more I didn’t trust myself to find something out on the land to aid in my threshold experience. Like I was too in my head and overthinking it. You know those repetitive thoughts of “I need to do something, find something, I’m suppose to be experiencing something now but nothing is happening?”. I had a hard time connecting with myself and the land because I was so in my head. It’s a self conscious thing that I’m working on. I know at one point I wanted to scream but settled for throwing pine cones at a tree because it was less embarrassing or attention drawing. I often know how I want to react, especially with intense emotions but typically I find myself pushing them down and not being in the moment with them, especially if others are present. It’s like, yeah I feel they may judge me, but it’s more I judge myself through their eyes, if that makes any sense.
Going forward with my coaching, this experience will help inform how I can guide clients who are experiencing a similar thing. I’m sure as we progress with EBI and we get to know each other on a deeper level this will start to subside for me on one level or another. Taking note of when these changes occur and what helped to get me to open up will give me ideas on how to help my clients or to just be aware of the changes they go through. This means making sure as a coach some of the competencies to really bring forward are establishing good coaching presence and establishing trust and intimacy with the client. The trust and intimacy is a big one I feel. If a client doesn’t feel safe and supported then the chances of them opening up and really going through a transformational experience are nil. Guiding the ceremony and having confidence in your listening skills is something else to work on. -
Ben F.
I completely understand the part of being unsure if you’re going to have an experience. I was definitely in my head about that and feel like I couldn’t really make that connection. I think you’re right that in coaching our client (or ourselves) may be dealing with things that are uncomfortable. Providing that safe space for them to explore is essential and I do believe on occasion we will need to “push” our client to let go and have an experience. Watching for those incongruencies and tracking baseline and knowing when to push and when to let them be. Great insight from you!
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Cory,
Great awareness here around creating the intimacy of a safe space for the client to drop into. Trusting in the process and allowing space for things to come up is huge!Great awareness around how holding that space allows for those transformational processes. I fully agree that establishing that competency with a client is an important one.
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Foundation Three Summary Post
Chapter 9 and 10 in the Coyotes guide sparked a lot of ideas in my head for coaching and ways of getting in tune with the Natural Cycle. I already utilize the feng shui bagua in my daily life by orienting my room and my meditation area to the directions as closely as I can in order to have proper energy flow in my life. As a Pagan I also pay attention to and celebrate sabbats and esbats, also known as the Wheel of the Year. Admittedly though I have slacked off in this area. Reading the chapters on it in Coyote Guide got me thinking about it again and how I can potentially use it in my coaching, especially during the threshold time. Thinking about those peak times in Nature when the sun hits its highest point and in threshold when the energy crescendos up and then drops. How can we not only utilize then land during this time but also the seasons? The Turning of the Wheel within us so to speak.
Bringing in that ceremony piece with Nature guiding us. We all have natural cycles we go through. Times when we reach peak creativity and have energy for days and times when all we can do is rest and self care. Just like Nature we go through rough patches and stormy weather. How can we let nature guide us through these times and allow it to inform our threshold experiences? Right now we’re all in a new cycle of growth. Of learning new skills and becoming in tune with both our inner and outer landscapes. For me I want to look at the threshold experience as a turn on the wheel. Utilizing the deep listening and the sacred questions to bring awareness to where we might be on that wheel, where we got stuck and didn’t complete full cycle cause we we’re going into our dormant winter stage and how we can now bring it full circle. This is how I see Nature informing the experience and coaching. This is where we can have a truly transformative experience.
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Initial:
I am embarrassed and saddened to admit that I do not remember much of my first threshold experience. That is the consequence of writing this post 2 years after the initial coaching.If memory serves, my need was to be heard and understood. My mental health was at such a low point then. I remember being depressed and anxious and scared of the implications of not getting healthy. Why would anyone want to be coached by me when I am so clearly broken? I remember trudging through the Boulder snow, my first time seeing the mountains. There was something safe and sacred about the land. My coach allowed me to express myself and was there to listen to me. I was, however, feeling a little guilty for bringing such a weighted subject to a foundational session.
Though the memory of the words said have faded, the impact they had on me remains. No matter how I use my coaching skills, I want to be the person my coach was to me. I want to listen when needed, ask impactful questions when appropriate, and hold silent space when requested.
