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Gestalt Discussion (September 2019)
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“Participating” in online discussions from months back! Oy. I have such appreciation and respect for you all and your ability to stay present and committed to this curriculum in a timely manner. I am grateful to have the opportunity to re-engage with you all and this work in a more formalized setting, albeit quite delayed! Nadine, I so appreciate this curiosity and was just talking to a friend about the inherent influence of the present moment experience on the past…that where we are in this moment, with all that has occurred between this moment and the events we are reflecting on, inform the past experience. It can be a fun exploration to dive in to! RABBIT HOLE WARNING!!! That said, I find that, if we can navigate in and out of the “story” of “catching up” there is real juicy insights available in the exploration. What WAS coming up for me_____ vs what IS now coming up for me one week/some time later around the same topic or questions…it can open up so many access points into what’s changed for the client, inviting awareness into an isolated timeline, and if/as that awareness informs the present moment experience: where are you noticing a shift NOW? Can be a real fun exercise of engagement and has unfolded as an effective tool to slowly incorporate awareness INTO the story and can help cultivate a shift OUT of the story and INTO the awareness practice itself! Hope that translates through a message board! Tough to explain!
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Hi Kim. I am so intrigued by doing a coaching session with a friend, close or otherwise! So much wonder around the impacts of the relationship that already exist with the new dynamic of coaching? Or if there is a new dynamic of coaching…my experience with you as a practice coach is so familiar and level-playing-field-esque that I would assume it to be something you would navigate with grace and compassion. You naming the awareness that you had to sort of catch yourself, further illustrates for me the caution of assumption in this work! It also brings up a lot of my own stuff around “What hat am I wearing now?!?!?!”…I am curious how you and/or your client would feel about engaging in an experiential setting/environment where either/one of you was not “most relaxed and freest”. If that might be a fun access point into the present moment experience… and how to play with that invitation as a coach?!
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SUMMARY:
I have found that the work that Derek introduced during the intensive at the Starhouse was such a powerful expansion on my perception of the sacred space that exists during a coaching session. That there is so much fun to be had in that space, that its sacred nature does NOT need to infer rigidity. This is a new approach to much of the things in my life, including coaching/group facilitation. And it is cool to give myself, the space of a session, and the client permission to move around within that space. From practice sessions, it’s been valuable to appreciate, much as I’m hearing Amber and Melody reference, just how much the coach can bring to the session before any words are uttered. Finding that comfort in speaking less, allowing the energy to percolate and take more of a lead role in the session rather than filling that space with words…as we move further in to more somatic work, seems fitting to invite client/coach/session into that space with sensation and awareness and not potentially muddy it with words, which I find can often limit the experience and almost create a disservice. Honoring the story, while still pressing through with intention and awareness, feeling the feels, not necessarily describing the feels. Allowing for experience to take shape rather than pushing or insisting upon a narrative around that experience…yeah, letting the experience itself take the lead during the session; focusing less on the ability to describe it…seems like a cool direction to be heading in…and being present for the client and naming that approach can hopefully help to assess it’s effectiveness/appropriateness on a case by case basis. -
I have found, increasingly, that it is really useful to establish a gestalt inclusive, coaching session using massage as an entrée into securing a safe and trusting relationship with the client. The client drops into a greater balance between body and mind and is more able to access awareness of each separately and as they relate to each other. An example is a client I worked with recently who found out the week prior that her father has throat cancer. As she told me the story of his original test results, the next round of tests and the current results that were more optimistic of a favorable outcome, her eyes were wide open, I simply suggested she close them, recount the story in her mind and notice if anything changed. Her response was she wasn’t sure. Feeling her energy I asked her to drop into her body (eyes closed) and notice once more. This time she could feel there was a difference but wasn’t sure how they were different. We continued to explore this by having her speak with eyes open and then eyes closed.
This allowed her to begin to recognize what it was she was feeling. She spoke a lot about her relationship with her family and realized the increased tension in her body when her eyes were open. Closing them she relaxed. And then started questioning how to keep eyes open and stay relaxed. Her awareness was enhanced around her breathing as well. With coaching questions she realized her emotions affected her breathing. And breath became connected to spirit which connects to universe/nature which brought her home to self. Her takeaways were, the importance of 1. breathing and 2. expanding, to provide her the support of nature/spirit. In body work gestalt seem linked with somatics. Somatics is the entrée into body awareness and gestalt is learning to read the messages and consciousness of the body and connect it to the mind. I have to be careful because I can be imbalanced on the side of somatics and forget to keep bringing back the deeper emotional and experiential awareness. -
Summary Post
Inviting the client into the here and now while I am monitoring my own here and now has been quite fascinating. Being on the massage table lends itself to an immediate here and now presence while setting an intention/request for the session. Often the line of questioning brings the past into the present by assisting the client in becoming aware of how the past is influencing the here and now…physically and emotionally. Recognizing this connection, is made by inviting the client to feel instead of think. To describe what is happening in their body currently as they tell the history that caused it. This can lead to a cycle much as Matt described in which the past story produces current behaviors that when felt-into can change perceptions and heal the past by creating a new way of being as one moves into the future. The last two clients I have worked with actually had difficulty knowing what they were feeling. I use the exercises and ideas of Dan Siegel’s mindsight to help clients become aware of how their internal processes relate with the external experiences and events. To me mindsight is a form of gestalt both mindfully and physiologically. It allows us to create a wholeness of the parts of our lives and it does so by integrating the parts of the brain so that the various areas work together to create a comprehensive wholeness that provides flexibility, resilience, global perspective and balance. I am still developing skills to actively apply this with clients in a timely fashion and without getting hooked into my own interpretations, which is not easy for me (but I need to stop telling myself that story!). For me a fascinating aspect of all this that I have observed, as I further my own understanding of the concept of the whole is greater than the sum of the parts, is that not only is it important to realize one’s purpose in life but also to realize spiritual (karmic) growth and healing. And while the two can be the sam, they are not necessarily, though there is likely a relationship. I am currently working with a man who has been diagnosed with terminal liver cancer. He has followed his purpose in life, serving others in many and varied ways related to both physical and mental health. We have just started to look into the Gestalt of his disease but he is finding that what he has neglected is his caring for self. In fact most of his life he has been self-deprecating for reasons he considers related to PTSD due to traumatic childhood events. Using gestalt we are very slowly looking inside and unpacking the events that have been deeply buried. He is timidly allowing the feelings related to the events to emerge. He is exploring his relationship with death, and also with life. It is this edge that has motivated him to seek a fuller understanding of himself within the context of his own life. For me it is an honor and a privilege I do not take lightly, to watch and learn from his self-exploration.
