Guiding through Grief (Oct 2020)

[Rollin]

@Leslie…”When I think of the Dimensions of Grief that could potentially appear, the emotions that immediately pop out in regards to this ‘client’ are numbness, sadness, emptiness, frustration, anxiety, depression, overwhelm, and panic.”
– I’ve got this quote here to respect your preparation before meeting with a client. To think of dimensions of grief that MAY appear…so you can be prepared for your client in that way is brillant. I’m stealing that quality preparation you have. This is an area I could improve that would make a difference for my client and my own ability to listen at an even deeper level.

@Gina…”Taking a breathe, and pause and practicing deep listening is fundamental before I chose to respond and reflect back what he is expressing.” – I love this about you. I’ve experienced this pause personally with you. It is a great skill that affords your answers and reflections a lot of power. I also liked how you took this convo with the man in the park and said…IF he was my client…. I think I can practice a lot more by taking my conversations with others and trying them on in my mind as practice clients. Playing through those scenarios like a ball player visualizing a made free throw attempt. Cheers! Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

Rollin

[Rollin]

Summary:

I continue to love the experiences and stories of all the classmates. I’m learning the most through you all. I have taken away awarenesses about myself and my clients, in regard to grief, that I will be forever grateful for. I wasn’t even aware that grief was this complex…outside of the difficulty of losing a loved one. I look at, get curious about, and interact with grief in such a different way now. I’m finding in this module a common theme…the more I’m willing to do the work on myself…the more I can give the process away.
My favorite part of this module was creating a grief timeline. So many thoughts and different experiences came to light through that process. I also charted my greatest breakthroughs/victories in life on the same timeline. I found that my greatest victories come after a loss/grief/breakdown. Amazing…I can look forward to tough conversations and sticky spots with clients…knowing that the best is yet to come and through those conversations.

R

[James Huntley]

Gina, I appreciate how you applied the tools learned in this toolbox to an interaction with a stranger. It goes to show how powerful this knowledge can be in a variety of circumstances.

I haven’t found myself coaching someone specifically on grief, though I have applied some of the aspects of this tool box to my interactions with others. For example, a dear friend of mine lost her mother before we had this intensive. We co-created a ceremony where she showed me a number of her mothers belongings and shared with me what came up for her when she reflected on each object. After the ceremony, she wasn’t sure what to do with all of the objects. she considered sending them to other family members, putting them away, etc. This lack of clarity caused some stress for her ass she had to decide what to do. She eventually decided to create an altar space for these belongings in order for her mother to continue to have some presence in her life. I feel that had I understood the grieving process better, I would have been able to alleviate some of her discomfort around the question of what to do with her mothers belongings by reassuring her that these objects can bring peace and connection for as long as necessary this is a natural part of the grieving process.

Ultimately, I feel that foundational to all the skills mentioned in this toolbox are two things that are really helpful for me to embody and to share with clients: the “map” of the grieving process, and having patience for the unique pace we all move through each process at. Along with deep, compassionate listening, reassuring someone one that they are on the right path and that there is no rush and no wrong way to grieve can be just the support that they need to pursue their own path to healing.

[James Huntley]

Rollin, I enjoyed reading about your client. I appreciate how you recognized and slowed him down when he jumped into what “to do”. I can imagine how you may have gone about that process, with your unique and charismatic communication style. I always learn a lot from your experiences.

[Deanna]

Summary:

This module is so applicable to all of our lives right now. We have experienced a lot of loss over the last year of the pandemic, and we are continuing to experience loss (especially with the climate crisis). I think grief is a lot more prevalent in our society than we realize, and I think a big part of our societal healing is to recognize our grief and develop a better relationship with death. I am very inspired by how important this topic is for our societal healing. I look forward to learning more, and incorporating grief work into my practice and personal life.