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Initial Post-Foundation 3-Cohort 19
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Foundations 3 – Initial Post Due by 3/23/20
Kick-off Question: Reflect on your experience as a client in the “threshold”. How does that experience inform your coaching and why? How did Nature participate in your process and what does that tell you about coaching others? What ICF core competencies are essential for you to practice and build on to feel confident in that “place” as a coach? This is not a feedback session to your coach, but a self – reflective response
• Use citations from assigned readings (or other resources), your experience over the weekend, and your past experience to discuss your perspective.The THRESHOLD! Just the word “THRESHOLD” excites me and is a comfortable place for me to be, but it was not always. As I reflect on my experience as a client in the “Threshold” I realize I have experienced this place at a much younger age than I realized. Surprisingly, one of the first thoughts that come to mind is when I had scheduled a massage with a Body worker my sister recommended. She recommended bodywork after I expressed how angry and trapped I felt inside. At the time, I did not realize I was also seeing a coach. I just thought I was seeing a massage therapist. I was 18, had completed my first year of College. I scheduled the appointment, figured, well I will try it. I asked my twin brother to come with me, and we drove to Los Angeles, in our VW Beatle that we shared. I asked my brother to be back in an hour or so. It was the drive on the road to LA that allowed me the time to prepare as I stared out the window.
The practitioner, Barry, worked out of his home, the room, was peaceful and calming, there was small chair I sat in. He was also calm, and welcoming, and had a gentle presence. As soon as I sat down, I just started crying. The tears would not stop. He was so patient got me a glass of water. He sat down across from me, looked at me directly in the eyes and said, we will just talk today. He simply asked me open ended questions, and allowed me to respond to them, and brought awareness to things I was expressing and related them back to me. I remember him asking me if I was open to doing an exercise. He asked me to draw a circle around myself. I began to draw a circle, but what I really drew was an outline almost tracing the outer edges of my body. He then asked, “What’s that circle feel like?” I said, “Restricted. Like a can’t move.” I remember him saying, “yes, that feels like a small world you’re living in.” He guided me through a few more exercise and questions, and then I drew the circle again. This time the circle was larger, and had taken on more of the shape of a circle. We continued, eventually, I would draw the circle as big as my arm could stretch out to make. My body felt free, and I could physically breath with more ease. I visualized the globe or the earth as he guided me. It was the fist time, I felt I could be just as big as the planet or I could make myself small like a marble.
The reason I share this experience because as a client, experiencing Trust, setting the foundation, feeling the coaching presence began long before I entered the physical space. It began the moment I received the referral and made the phone call. The moment I said yes to the referral, my body knew I could trust him. After making the phone call, I was already feeling a sense of ease. As I approached the house, I remember my body was already responding, I held back my tears in an effort to hide my tears from my brother, even though I know he cold here the emotion in my voice. Once inside, I was safe to “let go.” If I was not experiencing Trust, and a safe presence, I would not have been willing to participate in the exercise Barry suggested in the same way if at all. Barry would not have been able to guide me to the edge that we reached that day. He also had the ability to know when and how far to the edge he could take me and when it was enough. It’s the culmination of multiple competencies that supports getting to and being in the threshold.
Reflecting on a coaching session during the intensive, I remember, working with someone. I was the client, in my body I felt resistant. I felt the moment I knew who I was working with. Not sure why, I felt closed and guarded, but I knew at that moment, not much would I allow to happen for me during that time frame, until I could feel safe. The coach did nothing wrong, my body, just shut down, and I became very closed off and it took me a while into the session to relax. There was no way I was going fully into the Threshold. As a client, I found something to focus on to assist me in relaxing, breathing, feeling the cool air against my skin, rocks to feel safe and grounded.
Being that The way in which I hold a coaching presence matters., knowing how to adjust the coaching presence, to meet the client where he/she is at. Having the ability to cultivate space of trust and safety is important long before the session even occurs. If the client and I are not able to cultivate a Trust, and a foundation is not set, in a way the client feels supportive and safe. It’s less likely that the client and I will even get to “Threshold”. As a coach, while in the threshold, it’s important to be comfortable in that space, while the client gets adjusted to what may be a new experience and continue to practice deep listening and feeling into where the client’s edge is. The threshold is where much can unfold for the client. It has the ability to “Awaken Sensory Awareness; Cultivates Knowledge of Place, and restoring the bond between People and Nature.” (Coyote’s Guide pg. 258). To me, the threshold is where the magic happens, witnessing and/or experiencing the remembrance of our connection to nature (and each other). It’s in the remembrance that we realize all life is connected and in a synergistic relationship with each other. To become comfortable in working with the Threshold, I must be willing to go into and allow myself to be open to the experience, allow the experience to come to me, without any expectation or attachment of what I might experience. This is where the potential for transformation lives and the world speaks and gives messages only to be interpreted by the one experience it.
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@ Leslie,
You make reference “Looking at Cornell’s flow of learning, Steps 1 (enthusiasm) and 2 (attention) could be equated with Severance/Focusing, step 3 (experience) with Threshold, and step 4 (inspiration) the move from Threshold into Incorporation. Something that the text makes note of within this flow of learning is, “the context and timing of learning is equally, if not more, important than the content,” and this also reminds me of the coaching process. It’s more important for a coach to be able to guide a client through the process of self-learning and actualization than to understand all of the content and details of the client’s situation.”I appreciate the reminder of the importance to guide a client through the process of self-learning and actualization than to understand all of the content and details of a client’s situation. I find people get caught up in the details or story that frames the client’s experience. It can be easy to get drawn in. I know form me, I have grown not to care for to much detail as I find it distracts from the core issue and I find myself having to be patient as a coach and be gentle in redirecting a client back to themself. Sometimes I just want the client to “get there” faster. I have to practice patience, particularly in Severance phase. Once you’ve gudied someone into the Threshold, what has been your experience in moving them into Incorporation? If find, depending on the client, the transition from Threashold into incorporation cabe challenging for me to have it a smoother transition. Imagine, clients I work with the easier this will become. Happy to hear your experience.
Gina
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@ Deana,
Yes, “Crossing the “threshold” is like crossing one massive edge” I love the way you described crossing the threshold and how it brings up may emotions. Vulnerability, excitement, playfulness. It’s a nice reminder that what the coach experiences, so will the client. it becomes important for the coach/guide to be confident and have a strong coaching presence in order to hold such an important space for the client. Being in the threshold requires trust, not only between client and the coach, but the coach must trust their own skill level and comfort in this space and relationship/collaboration in working in this space. The threshold contains many possibilities for the the client, the coach/guide must trust their abilities to meet the client in just the right way, just enough distance and presence at the same time, be grounded and allow the experience to unfold.Gina
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@ James, what a beautiful description of the inner landscape being the threshold. I am always inspired the way you describe and share your experience in words. It’s quite thoughtful beautiful. As I read you post about the inner landscape being the threashold. A thought crossed my mind that the external landscape can be what draws one to go inward, or to be “cracked open” or “stretched”. Since man is nature and nature is man (or one might say reflection of God) and it’s through life’s experiences of the external that some may crash themselves against nature and express their inner conflict and discord in order to find resolution and peace within the self only to discover they there was nothing external to conquer at all, what they seek was always within them. A movie example that comes to mind is from Forest Gump, when Lt. Dan, throws fights the storm (GOD) on the shrimp boat. The storm passes, and Lt. Dan is set free from his anger.)
Your post reminded me of the symbiotic nature of the internal and external experience.
In your coaching presence I feel you create such a welcoming space, patient, that even someone that may experience conflict internally or externally, you find a way keep a calming presence and boundary that is supportive in navigating the experience of the threshold.You also brought up an important questions: “Just because something is uncomfortable for a client to hear, does that make it unproductive or inappropriate to share?”
Do you find this question could also be an experience of being in the threshold? There could be a possibility for growth and awareness in bringing a the “uncomfortable” to light. I imagine, paying attention to your intuition you’ll know whether or not it’s appropriate to share. I imagine Trust would play an important role here as well and letting go of any attachment to a specific outcome.
Gina