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Long Term Coaching Models Discussion Forum (Jan 2020)
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Hi Lisa,
So interesting you put in that way–it does feel like a dance and to further illustrate, the client has recently sent me her horoscope for this week which encourages her to investigate her life’s purpose–something we discussed in terms of her long-term goals at our last session. So, yes this is a dance we do, with nature (and apparently horoscope writer Rob Breszny) being heavily involved. 🙂 -
Adriana,
Thank you for sharing! I have been using the initial questionnaire and I believe it is a great tool. It provides me with a lot of information if the client is willing to share before meeting and really drives the session into what they are looking for a lot faster. I have also developed a post/pre for net session questionnaire so that the session isn’t focused around too much story about what happened in between sessions. I will share and hope it helps.
1. What were your goals/intentions throughout the last week?
2. What did your experience with these goals/intentions teach you?
3. Based on this experience what goals/intentions would you like to talk about for your session?
4. What additional questions are coming up for you that you would like me to know about? -
Summary Post
Hello All,
It was great reading about what everyone took away from this intensive and how you are applying it to your coaching. I was able to meet with my client and go through a parts interview. I believe it was eye opening for her and she is discovering more and more parts other than just the loud ones that she knows well. Through her discover she is seeing the work that will be involved to correct and start to move forward. Her awareness has already created leaps and bounds for her.
Long term coaching feels like it is the only way with most clients unless they have a simple and small goal, but it feels like the initial goal always leads to something deeper. The trick is getting them to see that they need long term coaching and the benefit in a first session or a consult.
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Also to follow up on the request during the webinar~ I have posted a visual example of a Long Term Coaching Map I drew for a client. This client gave permission for me to share this image with you. Here’s the link back to the webinar page.
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Summary post: Hello to everyone. My summary post is going to include a few things about two new clients and starting to develop their “long-term” coaching plan. The first is one person, the other is a mother-son client(s). Both of these I met for the first time last week, with the idea that I would develop a long-term coaching plan for each. For the first individual, one of the initial challenges I noticed was how many different places he was on the spiral of stages of change. The over-riding issue is that he is newly separated from his wife at her request because she feels he is not emotionally available enough for her. They have a young child. Obviously, to be at this point in the marriage they have circled around this issue in many ways and with multiple therapists attempting to be a part of help for them. He came to our first session with multiple strategies and awarenesses about behavior change that he feels helps the issue, and he has been committed, relapsed, and recommitted to many of those changes over the past five years. Other aspects he disavows and denies and is possibly in a precontemplative stage shaken now by his wife refusing to live with him. Some aspects of change he is contemplating but feels hopeless about (such as learning how to identify sensations as feelings and then giving them a name and voicing them). And some he is uncertain about if he even wants to attempt even if he doesn’t feel hopeless about changing them (for example he really enjoys the travel his work allows him to do although he recognizes he could easily request a different, non-travel, experience, and believes that if he didn’t travel it would help his wife feel more connected to him). His sense of deeper need is articulated right now as him living to his full potential as a human being which he feels includes the ability to identify and process emotions as well as respond to loved ones, which he most closely attaches to being a parent and not so much to being a partner. In developing a long term plan I see in my mind’s eye drawing the many aspects of change like a spiraling wheel with himself at the center which means to me some aspect of fluidity but building on foundations he already knows and has energy for creating. The nature-connected activities would follow from where in the spiral we are currently working and I think would vary between using nature to support what he is already doing and being in nature and with nature to help explore his inner world in a way he can see and have an external relationship to.
My other client(s) have had years of estrangement, brought to a head when the mother had a catastrophic head injury a year ago. The injury crystalized the felt need from both of them to make things right due to the limitations of life/death, and has created organically-generated personality changes which the son struggles with on top of what he already struggled with regarding his mom. One challenge of our first session is that they both want to leap in and make the changes and be done with the process. And for each of them the change they see as most valuable and helpful comes from the other person making the changes. It seemed to help for them to take some time to describe themselves to each other, but for me to also request they speak individually to me at times while I gave reflection and observation to each as an individual with the other one watching. For their long-term plan I envision a linear process of laying the foundation of discovery and awareness, building individual mandalas that they can share with each other even as we discuss what they feel are the important issues between them. Here, they are both comfortable and want the nature experience, so I am eager to see how we can potentially take their mandalas created in the office to the land and do the 3-D part work like we did at Starhouse.
I have enjoyed reading everyone’s posts and having Daniel and Ivy demonstrate ways of planning for long-term coaching. In reviewing the readings the one I felt helped the most right now for me was the spiral of change. How quickly I can forget the specifics of what has been taught, and so it was great to review.
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*Summary Post*
Hi all,
After reading through the posts and responses I’m struck with the idea of scale, and how my showing up for a client within a single session can be a microcosm of the longer 6-12 months journey we take when we engage in long-term coaching. As Ben F. said, it seems like long-term coaching is where we ultimately end up with someone, unless they really just wanted help with a very specific issue or question. I found the long-term coaching map that Ivy provided to be super-helpful in my own approach to how i might organize and present a plan to a client, or even how i might think about organizing individual sessions. And, as Lisa said, it is so easy to forget things, so this forum and the webinar was helpful just to review things and go back through the workbook and remembering the Spiral of Change and Immunity to Change, etc. I have session #14 with a client tomorrow, and while I hold some hope that we might begin to shift our focus more long-term, I am looking forward to the magic of whatever happens! -
Summary:
I reviewed the questions to see what has changed for me since I wrote the initial post, and since last seeing all of you. Fort better or worse, there has been some changes to the answers.
• What steps did you take to establish the Coaching Relationship and focus the session?
As I write this, I am currently at my second job as a cremation operator for a funeral home. This is in addition to my full-time job as a pharmacy technician and my full-time commitment to be a husband and father. All the while, having a vision to serve others as a coach. So, the quick answer to this question is that I am doing nothing to establish a coaching relationship. I currently serve no clients and my LLC needs a total revamp to come in line with my vision. Upon reflection though, I could say that by taking a second job, I am setting myself and my family up for success when I am able to transition to coaching. I know that our income will take a hit as I am able to take on clients.
• How did or could Long-Term Coaching fit into your nature-connected coaching session?
The type of coaching that I am most interested in would require a long-term commitment. I really want to serve dads and co-parents who are living with postpartum depression. In my vision, I would come on during the pregnancy and continue to serve for several months after the birth.
• How did or could you collaborate with Nature and combine Long-Term Coaching and Nature-Connected Coaching principles?
It’s strange. For over a year, I believed that I would graduate from the program as an NCC and establish a career as a coach in Indiana. I would serve others as we explored local trails and parks. However, the vision is in flux. While nature may not be at the forefront of my practice, I could easily see working in nature if the client was interested in exploring the outdoors.• What challenges did you face? How did you adapt?
The challenges I am currently facing include a lack of experience in the field of serving clients with postpartum depression, my lack of knowledge of child development or the birthing process, and my gender (because doulas and birth workers at almost exclusively women serving other women)• What did you learn about yourself and nature-connected coaching?
I have learned that nature might be more of a hobby than a viable career choice. This realization kind of bums me out, to be honest.
• What ideas do you have for how you might use Long-Term Coaching and nature-connected coaching in the future with your client?
I want to validate the feelings of these men. Often, men are expected to be the provider and leader of the family. This leaves no room for depression, anxiety, or worry. I want to let these new dads know that their feelings are totally valid and appreciated. I want to create a path of communication between the parents to ensure that their needs are taken are of, so baby can be well care for. In order to achieve this, I would highly recommend a long-term agreement. This is not something we could complete in one or two sessions. -
Initial Post
I have been working with a woman for a couple months now, and she has been wanting to lose weight. We have been looking at milestones along the way. Giving up soda, many processed foods, and more recently dairy. The main factor, the core of why she wanted to go through this change was because she wanted to have energy to play with her grand kids. She also wanted to be around and not end up dying from a preventable nutritional and lifestyle disease. She has been making great progress. In addition to giving up a lot of the stuff above she also started to eat organic foods.
Recently she became very discouraged. She has noticed a small difference, but has fallen into the trap of wanting to see and feel results quicker than they were coming on. We have been in discussion about how the past 45+ years of her life has created this type of life that she is trying to overcome. So, we talked about how change is going to happen slow. I is something that is countless mini milestones that she is adding into her new self. The compounding 1%.
She was also feeling a bit down recently because she is losing everything that she knows. We were able to talk about how it is a normal part to grieve for this old part of her. This part that played a role for so long is now stepping aside for a new part to come into play.
We have created a long term plan around the intrinsic motivation. The point she brings herself back to whenever she feels discouraged. Her big why is her grandkids, and wanting to feel different and have more energy. She has made great strides in the last couple of months, and I am excited to see her growth continue even farther! -
summary Post
After reading through responses, as well as working with several people, my mind has been changed on long-term coaching. Before I thought that I would travel and work with people occasionally and not see them, or have a plan for long-term. Now I see it as one of the main ways to really have the most powerful effect when it comes to change. A single moment might start to lay the groundwork for change to happen, but that is not how life works. Everything about life is countless moments adding up over time to create change. The peak experience is important, but the integration and incorporation piece is massive! From what I have seen a lot of the long term coaching can be about that final step of the ceremony. -
*Summary Post*
After finishing the required reading and reading all of our discussion on long term coaching, I have really solidified my concept of coaching. To me, coaching has to be thought of as a long term project. Change doesn’t occur overnight and making changes can be really difficult for our client. Understanding how the brain works, understanding who our client is and how they came to be will also be a continuous dialogue as we work with them.
What we reflect back to them has to trigger something important and meaningful to THEM to inspire them and drive their biological process beyond their understanding of what they know to be true. If we try to set an agenda for what we perceive they need, it might not connect them to their process. The process that is occurring in their brain to achieve the state of health that they are reaching for. This is where the deep listening comes in. Ultimately, we are not just trying to land that next client. We are becoming a tool for change. -
During the long term coaching intensive, I had the chance to work with someone facing a big career and life changing decision. This allowed for a very beneficial learning experience for me as a coach. When focusing on the long term plan for my practice client, we took time to articulate long term goals along with the vision behind them. After establishing this in a “repeatable” way, my client was able to use it as an anchor for there long term process. One of the exercises I appreciated in regards to milestones and goal, was where we each made a list of these then came back together. We expanded on these and made them a concrete list of goals. Next we used the process of ceremony and the wheel (North, South, East, West). Looking at my practice clients long term plan we determined the specific actions that involve each transition from one direction to the next. Then determined sign of each transition happening as small steps or milestone, as well as any roadblocks that might come up and how to manage those. After determining where my client was in the vision and process, we determined what sort of rituals could be held in place to solidify these transitions into happening. We also focused on the internal shifts that might happen for my client as there goals are met and what that meant for them.
I definitely learned a lot about my own coaching skills when it comes to long term coaching. I tend to be good at helping my client discover vision and direction when it came to planning. I noticed that I started creating my own plan for my client and felt slight resistance when they didn’t agree with that path. This experience taught me that no matter what I offer for my client listening to their direction and letting them lead the direction of their process. It also made me understand how important establishing this long term plan with a client really is, staying grounded in vision and direction, as well as reference point to really solidify my client progress and achievements in their process.
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Ben,
I remember our conversations around this time and your apprehension about the transition from offering your clients a practice rate vs a full client rate. Now that so much time as passed since we were together for this, I wonder how things have been in your coaching practice and if any of these old concerns have reemerged for you.
I love seeing that you were planning on incorporating partswork with your client. After all this time, I cannot recall how the sessions went for you. But partswork was always one of my favorites and I think it is a powerful tool to help clients (and yourself) see the bigger picture around the blocks that trauma can put up.
I think it is important that you seek the support from other professionals and practitioners to best serve your clients. Though we may wish that we can address all the client’s needs in a coaching session, they often need additional support that we cannot (or should not) offer them. -
Cory,
I love that you were able to get to her why. Since it sounds like she has an important motivator—her grandkids—hopefully, she has been able to tap into that and has found the power within herself to become healthier.
Changing one’s lifestyle, such as an overall goal of eating healthier and becoming fit is a perfect topic for long-term coaching. It is not only about the act of eating healthier but finding the reason to be healthy and uncovering the reasons why she has chosen to remain unhealthy.
As a Nature Connected Coach, I wonder if you were able to incorporate hikes or other outdoor fitness into her health plan. Perhaps something she could do with her grandkids? Having the positive reinforcement of her family by her side might be a stronger motivator that going it alone.
It has been several months since you originally wrote this post. I hope that despite the pandemic and other negative factors, you were able to use your skills as a coach and help guide her to a healthier lifestyle. -
Initial Post: It’s been a long while since I’ve been in this forum and I’m glad to be here back posting. I know that most will likely not see this but just enjoyed reading over everyone’s posts and seeing what work they did with their clients. It’s really inspiring and makes me proud to have gone through this course with this special group of humans.
I’m not currently working with a client but have intentions to in the near future.
- What steps did you take to establish the Coaching Relationship and focus the session? – Usually with initially establishing that coaching relationship I intend on letting my client know that this is a safe space where our conversations and actions will stay between the two of us. I like to begin the session with a quick breathing exercise to release and tension of the day before walking into our safe space, and getting a proper mindset for the session. This also helps me to get into the moment and be fully present for the client.
- How did or could Long-Term Coaching fit into your nature-connected coaching session? – I feel like my entire life I have been coaching people and not even knowing it. So many folks through out my friends, coworkers, family, etc come to me with their pains, issues, struggles, venting, looking for a friend or advice. That’s what brought me here. I want to be a better resource for people to guide them to the path they know they want to be on. I think that nature is one of the great healers of the world and adding that into the mix elevates the experience.
- How did or could you collaborate with Nature and combine Long-Term Coaching and Nature-Connected Coaching principles? – Partswork is probably one of the favorite things we went through in the NCC course. I found it so powerful and moving to be able to put a name to all the parts and give them the recognition that may be lacking. I think Partswork will be a large piece in my long term coaching and I would like to explore and learn more about how that can be a major collaboration in my work.
- What did you learn about yourself and nature-connected coaching? – I’ve learned that it comes so naturally to me and it isn’t something that I had within me. Connecting to nature and the land around you really puts a lot into perspective on another level. For me personally, if I’m in a chair facing someone else, and have to talk about my feelings, I feel scared, stuck, closed off. When I’m in nature, walking, talking, feeling the sun, hearing the birds, watching the trees move, I’m an open book and feel myself wanting to express everything going on in my life.
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*Summary Post* After going back and re-reading everyone’s initial and summary posts, one of the things I am noticing most for me, and for others, is consistency is a key factor. When time flies by between sessions for both the client and coach, it is hard to get back to a place of being in the right mindset with that subject. Life changes so much from day to day that the clients goals may shift weekly, and we must be able to dance around that and be fluid in that way. I’m learning that while coaching in nature has structure and tools, if you can keep a consistent flow with your client, they and you, will get the most out of the relationship.
