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Participate in the Online Discussion (8/12 – 8/23/19)
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*Summary Post*
After reading everyone’s posts, it’s great to see how much more awareness everyone has been having in themselves and in their clients. After this intensive it has become so clear to me that we have been given the tools to help empower our clients with knowledge. It’s one thing to be able to guide a client towards achieving a goal, but to help them understand the brain changes that it takes to reach that goal is more valuable in my eyes.
Like Cory said though, we can only do so much. The client has to want the changes bad enough to take the necessary steps in order to succeed. There is only so much energy we can put in to our clients before it becomes unhealthy for us. This is why I try to not have any expectations, as to not get let down if a client disappears, or doesn’t follow through with an assignment. Our clients can only hold themselves accountable for their actions, it is not for us to do that. We can help bring awareness and light up a path that may have seemed too dark to go down before, but it is our clients choice if they choose to take that path.
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Using the stages of change can be very beneficial in tracking clients. When meeting with a client especially a new client, analyzing where the client is in the process of change can be a helpful in how to approach the session and moving towards the clients goals in future sessions. When working with clients I have witnessed total body language change, choice of words and apparent intention whether the client is in pre-contemplation, contemplation planning, action, or maintenance.
The next valuable piece of change theory for me is neuroplasticity. I think this can be both beneficial for me as a coach to know when working on brain change with a client as well as the client knowing themselves. Having the knowledge around this piece can really help show where a client is in the physical process of changing the brain. I believe it is valuable information to relay to the client when they are struggling with change or just going through it. Simply knowing what is happening inside the brain may help clients stay committed to the process as well as understand that it is normal to have resistance to change due to the way our brains work. Also along that same train of thought the “high road” comes up. Helping client continuously take the high road and keep them strengthening the new pathways in the brain seems like a very significant part in clients solidifying the changes they intend to make. Using some of the tracking skills and knowledge can help me determine when a client is slipping in to a limbic response/experience or if they are conscious and aware of where they are within the brain. With this awareness you can determine what direction a session may need to go and if the client is still connected to their process of change.
Our brains are nature, they shift with the experience and the environment just like any part of nature does. Bringing in nature can help bring awareness and understanding for clients during their process with change. Nature can also create powerful threshold experiences that may provoke change or understanding to move towards. I intend to incorporate these aspects and theories of change into my coaching practice with every client. Most every client wants to change something about themselves if they are seeking coaching. Using this fairly cut and dry understanding of how this process works may be beneficial for a client to understand and grasp the process they are going through. On the other hand it may just be something I hold internally to track clients in there process of change. Either way it will create awareness around where any client may be in their process of change and potentially the next steps to take. -
Hi Ben,
It seems like your clients pattern of self negation was habitual and you were using the tools that you now know to disrupt her pattern. I am curious about the patter, where did it come from? How could trauma be involved? Your client had some relief from the discomfort of those patterns it seems so your technique worked! I have a feeling that this is just the tip of the iceburg. -
Hi Cory,
I think almost all clients but up against the want for results but not for the change. Sometimes they are ready to contemplate change again sometime later when they are faced with the issue that nagging issue. Change is uncomfortable because of that lack of familiarity that keeps us on the same hamster wheel as humans. I commend you for letting go despite wanting to help your client. Sometimes letting them go to face the same problem is helping as they will eventually figure out what they want. -
*Initial Post*
I have been working with an older client who has been struggling with wanting to retire. She had agreed to have me coach her on the subject.
S is a physical therapist who has been working for at least 40 years and started feeling burn out. After asking “what does it mean to be burn out?” We discovered that she feels like she doesn’t have the passion for what she is doing anymore and that she is tired. That was an important awareness. Her goal was to cut down to working 2 days a week.
Then next time we met, she told me that she had cut back and had all this free time, but then work started to creep in again. I suppose that was the bounce back.
I asked her if she still wanted to retire, and she did. This has gone on a few sessions with little bits of success, but some relapse. Using the deep questioning, she realized that working is tied into her self-worth. Each time we go deeper but we are not to the bottom of the issue yet. We’ve talked about the stages of change so that she was able to let go of judgement toward herself which could further hinder someone’s process toward change. I think this is where the tools of brain and change, the stages come in handy. It is helpful for the guide to understand where they are and not give up hope, as well as the client. -
*Summary Post*
After learning so much about the brain, how the amygdala tries to find familiarity in its surroundings, how neuropathways are formed, it is easy to see how change can be difficult.Humans are creatures of habits, so as guides, we must help the client see how to disrupt the old habit and create a new one. It has to be very clear to the client why it is important for them to pursue and sometimes they will just give up. Our jobs as coaches isn’t to make them do something, but to help them remember why they created this goal. I will keep the stages of change chart handy so that clients realize the it is possible and sometimes failing is part of the process.
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Ben, having you client re-focus her attention to a time she felt pride and accomplishment was a good idea and definitely what this intensive is about. It’s all about beginning to reroute those old ways of thinking. You mention in your post that you don’t think this is a tool she will be able to take with her. I wonder if there are other tools we have learned that will equally build her self-esteem and help to provide that neural change.
It sounds like meditation is a practice that she is comfortable with. It was good that you recognized that and offered the 7-breath exercise. Not only is this a good way to begin a session, but it also an adaption of a practice that she already has, and she can take with her
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Adriana,
“What does it mean to be burnt out?” Great question to invite self-reflection and begin a dive into the deeper need. It sounds like guiding her through the stages of change were helpful in seeing where she was at on her journey toward retirement and where some of the barriers were. Retirement is a big step for people, and it is a good reminder that work has become their identity. I would encourage both you and your client to hold these sessions with grace. This is a big change that will take a lot of planning and coordination. As I write this, it was over a year since your original post, hopefully with your support and guidance, your client has been able to retire. And hopefully, she has continued to see you as a coach to continue working through the stages of change in other aspects of her life.
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SUMMARY:
I wrote my initial post over a year ago. I wonder why I didn’t follow up with myself and honor the commitment I have made to this cohort and to myself. What neural pathways exist that are so deeply engrained that I have fallen into the old habit of being non-committal and unable to complete tasks that are important to me. As I re-read my post, detailing the relationship the client Tom, I am embarrassed. Tom is a fictional character based on myself. It is embarrassing that 1) I didn’t have a client to write about and 2) the story I told about myself was a lie to complete this assignment. If I believed the coaching suggestions I was telling myself, I wouldn’t have needed to fabricate the story.
Now, a year later, some things are very much the same, while others have improved. I still struggle with my mental health, job dissatisfaction, and relationship concerns. But, to harken back to this assignment, I am working to reroute those neural pathways that are comfortable in the uncomfortable. I have made a commitment to complete my NCC and have started down the path of establishing a new career for myself. Slowly but surely, that river is forming a new canyon. I just wish it wouldn’t take so damn long.
