Participate in the Online Discussion Gestalt (April 2019)

[Cory Steele]

Summary Post
One of my favorite parts of reading everyone’s posts is how many different ways of doing something there are. I am in a constant state of learning, unlearning, and relearning. What I think of as “my” way of working might not actually be working, so it helps to take me outside of myself and see all the beautiful ways people are applying these tools to coaching and their own lives. I love learning from all of you and growing and evolving by seeing how much you all teach me about yourself and this helps me grown and develop more and more. We are all so creative, and seeing that creativity manifest out into the world is a magnificent thing to experience.

[Kevin Nichols]

Gestalt seems to be a skill/understanding that will be incorporated into my coaching on a situational basis. I don’t intend to use it during every session. When something that needs further processing comes up gestalt may be incorporated/injected into the session. I think it could be used for anything that comes up from the client that halts or interrupts the session.
Gestalt can be a very powerful and emotion experience for anyone during a session. I intend to use nature to help guide the processing through gestalt. Using nature as a tool or even a grounding technique can be very safe and important when going through an experience that requires gestalt work.
I find when things tend to move in an intense direction while working with gestalt, there is a part of me that wants to jump ship. Staying present and client focused was at times challenging for me. I had to adapt and be present with my own process but put it on the back burner and hold it for later so I could be completely present and engage in active listening and guiding for my client.
I learned how to work with this type of session and how it affects me and my process during a session. Being aware of what comes up for me whether it be related to my client process or just my own process of being uncomfortable during a session, is very important to me. It shows me how grounded and centered I need to be before and during sessions for my clients, anything can come up and affect me as a coach in many different ways. I need to not only be prepared but understand how to handle these situations when they come up. Focusing on active listening and referring back to/relying on the sacred questions are two valuable assets I have and can use in these situations. Past my own process I’ve learned to trust the process and ceremony of coaching and keep that in mind when my client is processing something, knowing its not my process but theirs.
After practicing gestalt, I believe it does enhance my coaching presence. Not only am I better equipped to handle situations and help my clients process during any session, but just knowing I have these skills creates more confidence and safety for my client. Situations that may seem hairy or scary to approach with a client now feel more secure and approachable, this expands my ability to better serve any situation a client may bring.
Nature connected coaching may bring intense and powerful experiences to clients, some of these may need processing and attention. This is where I will have an opportunity to bring gestalt in and help guide my client through an experience while holding the larger presence and goal in mind.

[Morgana Moyers]

Initial Post
So, I truly believe timing is a thing. Finally getting around to posting this and as I listened to the recordings again a lot of pieces resonated and fell into place for me for where I’m currently at. This is one of my favorite forms of therapy and really helps me focus my mind and brings awareness I know I have a little bit more into the light. Currently I still have no practice client. Having some trouble convincing myself I can actually do this and guide people. Now might be a good time to start reaching out while we’re all quarantined away.
Looking back on the intensive and getting a fresh view from listening to the recordings I realize how far I’ve come. During the face to face I was dealing with a lot of stuff revolving around myself and my relationships. How I constantly changed myself to fit in with those around me and that only a select few knew my true self. I struggled a lot with projecting, interjection, deflection and of retroflection. Interjection and retroflection were the two big ones for me. Growing up with a covert narcissist mother created interesting stories for me. She was oddly supportive and yet dismissive at the same time. She would say things to strangers like “My daughter Amber has a beautiful voice,” and then almost offhandedly look at me and say “This one can sing too.” Almost like I wasn’t good enough or as good as my sister. Looking back on it and thinking it over now this is what causes me to stop something I enjoy, like piano, especially when I start getting good at because why continue when someone else will be better at it? I dampen myself because that’s what I grew up with and I’m just now really starting to recognize and bring awareness when I do this. This is also why I haven’t really dived into my coaching practice yet. I’m working on moving through that and having a creative experience with myself. I’m also working on the retroflection part where I have a tendency to pick at my skin until it bleeds when I’m stressed or feeling any intense “negative” emotion. I have recognized this as a coping mechanism and I’m trying to find a healthier outlet.
When I do finally reach out it’s important to establish the coaching relationship. For me a big part of this is that initial contact. Getting a feel for the client by asking what they’re looking to gain from coaching, explaining how coaching works, what it is and isn’t, expectations, and personal responsibility. I want to make sure both client and myself have a clear understanding with each other to make sure I’m a good fit for this person. Maybe offer a trial period at a discounted rate to see if I’m the right fit. Bringing in the connection piece from Gestalt, being fully present and providing a space for a client to be heard is important to me. Connecting to others can be hard and it doesn’t automatically happen often for I feel as a society we have a lot of barriers up to prevent us from getting hurt. My goal is to just let the client know I’m there and yes I am separate from them but we are in a space of sacredness that we are co-creating.
How could Gestalt fit into nature-connected coaching and how could I collaborate with Nature and combine Gestalt with coaching? Since I’m focusing my business on the Celtic Shamanism and spiritual side of things, these all collaborate beautifully. Connection to nature is an essential part of Shamanism. Bringing in the coaching aspect with the spiritual teachings will help to guide people through the dark night of the soul and other such times to bring them back into connection with themselves and nature and to reclaim their power. Gestalt fits beautifully with this as it allows for more creativity and experiential moments to bring out the full expression of another. A challenge I face with this is how does this type of coaching play out? What does it look like? I’m still working on that. Another challenge is this might not work for everyone so building clientele might take a moment, but I’m okay with that. This will be trial and error for me and I’m open to finding what works and what doesn’t.

[Adriana McManus]

Hi Ben,
I can understand how boundaries get blurry if you know your client in a friendly way. I would have a hard time keeping the professional hat on but at the same time, we are trying to be on the same level that our client is. I value you, I value me is what comes to mind.

However, it seemed like good instinct to use a chart to help your client explore his wants and needs. Answering “I don’t know” is a good indicator. How did you keep “in connection” with your client’s feeling?

[Adriana McManus]

Hi Morgana,
What I see you doing is nature connected spiritual coaching and I think, wow, what cool niche! You have great knowledge and life experience but what is important is how you see yourself and how you want to walk through life professionally and personally. I know that you will make a difference for someone and or many.

[Adriana McManus]

*Initial post*
• What steps did you take to establish the Coaching Relationship and focus the session?
• How did or could Gestalt fit into your nature-connected coaching session?
• How did or could you collaborate with Nature and combine Gestalt and Coaching principles?
• What challenges did you face? How did you adapt?
• What flowed and how did you build off it?
• What did you learn about yourself and nature-connected coaching?
• How do the readings relate and interact with the face to face material and your work with your practice clients?
• What ideas do you have for how you might use Gestalt and nature-connected coaching in the future with your client?
• How does Gestalt Therapy effect or enhance your Coaching Presence and approach?
• How does Nature-Connected Practices, and Gestalt Therapy interface?

My very first practice client turned out to be the perfect Gestalt client although my intention for this client was to practice my parts work. This client was an intern psychotherapist working in a hospital. He was a massage client who was finding my reflections during therapy to be extremely enlightening to him. I could multitask! Who knew?
His initial goal was to increase his focus on accomplishing life tasks. He has a history of diagnosed ADD and has been a life struggle. It became immediate however, that he was very uncomfortable in nature and after more questioning, he realized that he doesn’t feel comfortable and at ease in daylight among other people. The new need became to feel at ease amongst other people. Feeling on edge didn’t help his focus. He had this story that he was a freak and would not be accepted by others. I was going to go into parts work but at that moment, a man walked by walking in a strange way to strengthen his legs. I asked my client how he felt, and he said that the thought of walking that way would make him uncomfortable.
Gestalt exercise- I suggested to my client to walk funny, like the man that walked by and I would do it with him. He soon started feeling ok and less self-conscious. Nature provides a good play ground to use Gestalt creatively.

[Adriana McManus]

*Summary Post*
This part of the course was like the open-ended questions of the toolbox. There is so many places to take these tools, especially out in nature which inspires imagination. Where you take it depends on the deeper need and the deeper need can develop further with Gestalt. I also like hearing how others use Gestalt because all of you think of creative things that I have not.

[Morgana Moyers]

Taylor,

Love the insight here and how you’re starting to connect some things and allowing the flow to happen. I think starting out it’s going to be hard not to get caught up in the story. We want to be there for our client so it’s definitely going to be a learning curve to fully show up but not get caught up. It’s great that you were able to help clients bring more awareness to their body by offering examples of words. It might be useful to supply clients with a chart like that that they can take a look at, like the Wheel of Emotions to help expand their vocabulary too.

[Morgana Moyers]

Cory,

Great awareness of realizing one of your strengths is staying in the present moment. Using Gestalt and Nature as a means to help a client stay in the present rather than her daydreams can be a wonderful thing for that client. It can be a challenge to stay in the moment when we are used to being sucked into the stories in our head. Love the little reminder of “Be Here Now”. The now always has something to teach us.

[Morgana Moyers]

Summary Post

During quarantine I actually had the opportunity to use Gestalt in an impromptu coaching session. This particular person was going through a bit of an identity crisis and felt like they were broken. They’d been a student so long that now that they were in the real world they had no idea who they were. I gently introduced the concept of Gestalt that they were not broken but merely in an old Gestalt that is currently going through a transformation. That concept sparked something in them and they felt a lot better about where they were currently at. I think Gestalt is going to be a big part of my coaching technique. Bringing clients back to the present and taking a look at what no longer serves them in this moment and what we can begin to unpack and transform seems to be so powerful. That simple statement of “You are not broken” can be so impactful. I look forward to working with Nature alongside Gestalt techniques to bring inner awareness and changes to all aspects of a clients life as well as my own.

[Joshua Maze]

Ben,
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I can definitely relate to feeling like the Friend part tries to come out and relate to the client and bringing your own experiences into the session. As I reflect back on our cohort and my time with EBI, I recognize that I did that a lot. I wanted to be friends and “fix” the issues. Taking that approach was neither helpful to the client or to my own progress through the program. It was good that you were able to quickly recognize that and found another tool to use to bring you both back to the coaching session.

I have often struggled to understand the concepts of Gestalt and its practicality, but your example helps to make it clearer. It’s about bringing the client to the forefront and having them reflect on what is happening for them right now.

I like how you were able to also incorporate some Partswork into the session. I can definitely see how this method could help build trust and set up a longer-term coaching arrangement.

[Joshua Maze]

Morgana,
Timing is certainly a thing, isn’t it? When you wrote this, quarantine and the pandemic were just winding up. I wonder how you have faired since then. Hopefully in the months since then, you have been able to gain clients and begin guiding people.

Our experiences together as a group and individually since the last intensive are very similar. I also do not have any clients, but I am continuing to work on myself so I can fully show up for those wanting to work with me. Let me tell you, you CAN actually do this. I have faith that you’ll get there. Due to the pandemic and other circumstances, how we serve and who we reach might look different that we originally planned, but I know you’ll make your mark.

I love the idea of using the tools learned through this program to start a Celtic Shamanism spiritual practice.

I also really love what you said about this work being sacred. We are asking clients to be very vulnerable with us and we must hold that space very intentionally.

Good Luck with everything my friend!

[Joshua Maze]

*Initial Post*
During Gestalt and in the time since then, I have been confused on the topic. All of it felt so different, with so many new (made up?) words: Introjection, Retroflection, etc. How could I possibly understand this? And, furthermore, I could I possibly apply it to my personal life and my coaching practice? After reading through the notes and everyone’s responses on here though, I think I was making this concept harder than it needed to be. If I understand correctly, Gestalt, at its essence, is just what is happening NOW. No deflecting, no changing the subject, no BS. What is real right now?

It’s interesting to come to this conclusion over a year after the course, having had time to fully process and grow as an individual. During this intensive, I was not in a good place mentally or emotionally. I was not ready to fully absorb the concepts being taught to us. As I look back through the notes though, I am able now to see what I was missing then. That’s not to say that I am fully there, but I am on my way.

The more I learn and study about Gestalt, I think I might be able to use it with future clients. Maybe. My focus is shifting away from life coaching and on to doula work and family system dynamics. I can see this maybe working if a doula client is interested in diving deeper into coaching, to perhaps work though emotional blockages. But coaching is only one aspect of my future endeavor, so that is still yet to be seen. It is at least good to have this as one of my tools when I work with new families.

A better use of Gestalt, for me, might be a way to check in with myself and use it to help shape my mandala. How am I today? What am I feeling right now that needs to be addressed?

It will be interesting to see how much of this I actually wind up using.

[Joshua Maze]

**Summary Post**

After reading through everyone’s posts, what I am finding is this Gestalt isn’t nearly as complicated as I was making it seem. What that tells me though, is that you have to be in the right head space for Gestalt to work. So long ago, when we were together at the Starhouse, I was not mentally ready to accept the gifts we were being given. I am seeing from other’s comments and posts that I might have missed the lesson. And that’s ok. Everything takes as long as it’s meant to take

I am forever grateful that I was able to experience Gestalt (and all of the other intensives) with you fine folks.