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Partswork 2 Discussion Forum (Jan 2020)
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30 Replies
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Initial Post
I had my first actual partswork interview with a client!!!
This was a client that is new we had only had two sessions prior to the interview. From his first session I realized that’s partswork would be a beneficial course of action because with some awareness he already new that he had certain aspects of himself that were running his life and causing excess anxiety and negative thoughts.
The client wanted to give it a try and it brought some things up that were difficult for him to see, but gave great awareness that he is not as in touch with some parts as he wants/needs to be. I am hoping that our partswork together continues and he what’s to commit to the longterm and do some deep self reflection.
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Hi Ben,
First of all, congratulations for having a client who is ideal for parts work. I would imagine that it would be very satisfying to be able to test this new tool to the limit. It sounded like it was good growth for your client as well. You hope to work with this client long term, I am wondering if you were able to get to a map of some sort for a long-term process? Are you trying to sort out the deeper need for now?
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Hey Ben!
That’s great! I share your enthusiasm for partswork, and how cool it is to know a client can benefit from it. So powerful. My experience so far is that it does take a willing client, and it sounds like you found one! I wonder, maybe there are weights or other gym items that can be used to symbolize certain parts…? Have you done this? I picture you out there on the gym floor, guiding your client… -
Sandy I like this idea I haven’t tried it. Sometimes it is difficult to get the gym all to myself with a client, but I think it is a great idea!!
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Initial Post: Hey everyone! I enjoy parts work and incorporate it into so much. Some of it is a formal undertaking of interviewing parts and working to have different parts speak and feel understood by soul, and sometimes (especially when it feels like I am in a difficult place with a client and they are embodying a part in a whole manner) I remind myself I am speaking to a particular part and that helps me stay on track. And then sometimes I feel parts of me wanting to step forward or having a reaction to what a client is saying or doing and I use part work on myself to stay grounded and centered. The client I will talk about today is someone that I have worked with for awhile, and so she is used to speaking about parts and getting the perspective of parts. When she is emotionally charged, feeling helpless and overly-triggered, however, it can still be hard for her to take a breath and center enough to use part work. For the most part I don’t have clients who want to use the out of doors, and that is how she is, and so sometimes we use objects in my room like we used the trees and rocks at Starhouse. I have a basket of soft balls next to where people sit and sometimes we use those, arranging them in the patterns of their felt mandalas or just bringing forward a few parts. Even when this particular client is losing a sense of perspective, however, by using the balls she usually can often regain the perspective more easily. In this particular session she was upset about a challenge she felt was between her and a coworker. As we identified the challenge as being internal for her between several parts that conflicted with one another she remained upset, and then found she was also in touch with a part of her that felt betrayed by the work we were doing in that she had expected to reach the end of life’s challenges by doing the work, and yet here she was, being challenged again. So we had several balls out on the floor between us and on the chairs around my office. She even had a ball that was angry at me for reflecting that her original challenge was between parts of herself, not between her and her coworker as she had not wanted to accept that despite agreeing with my reflection. I am glad that ball stayed on the floor and didn’t get aimed at me. 🙂 As we worked with the parts she would break away from the work to say she was feeling she needed answers and “what to do” about the situation, but allowed herself to be redirected to working with the balls. After she and I interviewed several of the key balls together, she was able to more clearly hear them and came to her own conclusion about how she wanted to handle the coworker situation that was in alignment with the person she is striving to become. The drop in energy was quite amazing as she went through this process, from a frenetic overwrought sensation, to one of clarity and calm. How great the parts work is! We laughed together, as we collected all the balls, about how funny it might look to those who didn’t know what we were doing if they had walked into my office and saw balls lying all over. It was a pretty funny sight.
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Hi Lisa,
Having objects on hand to be ready for parts work is a good idea. I feel inspired to have crystals for this purpose though it might be nice to have something soft . I feel like it could be a challenge when the client gets that emotionally elevated that the executive functions turn off but I guess this dialogue can challenge the client to thought about their process. Thank you for sharing that you use partswork to keep yourself grounded as well, I think that would be good for any coach in this situation. Sounds like you really made a difference for your client.
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Congrats, Ben! You always seem to me to have such a great awareness of your intuition and read on where people are at, and your statement that your client felt to you that he was already ready for parts work seems like it is just another example of how those talents were used by you. After reading Sandy’s post about using gym equipment as parts I was sparked to write about using balls in my office. As amusing, in an endearing way, as it is for me at times to look around my office and see where balls get perched, I have to say my internal image of how gym equipment would be used for the parts process seems even more so. I have a friend who has a basket of interesting puppets ranging from people-looking puppets such as a police man to animal and fantastical creature puppets such as dragons. When she does part work with her client she offers her basket for people to choose from to represent their parts. After reading your post and Sandy’s response as well as rereading my own post, I have decided to take a wander asap and gather nature objects to replace my balls. It always sounds to me when I read your posts and experiences that you are such an asset to those you work with. As I have said before, I have never met someone like you, combining all the things you do and in such interesting and helpful ways, and it is such an inspiration. I hope the work you do with this client continues to bring you joy and satisfaction.
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Lisa,
Thank you for sharing. I think what you are doing with your clients is a very important tool when working with parts. What ever we can do to get our clients to really get into that part; if it is acting it out, understanding the dynamics of that part, or relating it to an object. The more the client can get in touch with the parts the easier it is for them to start using this tool on their own and integrate it into their life.
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Final Post
Partswork is something that I have used through my own process and feel it has been one of the most beneficial tools that I have learned for myself. Learning about how to use this model with clients has been an interesting journey. I am excited to go deeper with this model in the deep dive. Working with the parts has seemed to be easier than the initial interview. I have a specific client that is only seeing the louder parts, the ones that she knows well and is struggling to see other parts, the parts that can help keep some of the louder parts in line. It seems as we continue to use Partswork we are uncover some of the other parts, but it seems to weigh on the client because it has put the already loud parts under a microscope. I know that some of what is happening is I am bringing some of my fear into the process. I still feel that I have a lot to learn about myself and my parts to help and use this model successfully with my clients.
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Hi Ben, Yes, I agree with you about parts work making things seem like they come alive, and how it is so great to help people incorporate and get into a part. When we were out at Starhouse doing the parts work on the land it was so gratifying to me to be able to move with the “client” and be with them as they seemed to become more free in their own body: voicing, standing, facing, bending, enacting the soul-part work. I was a child therapist for the first half of my career, and I miss all the dramatic play and crawling around on the floor and being with my clients under my desk, etc. Parts work in nature seems more like that kind of work to me. And aren’t we all just really kids anyway, in grown up bodies and with grown up responsibilities? OK. I guess that is just self-disclosure.
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Summary Post: Utilizing parts work is always delightful. It is great as a way for clients to assess where they are and where they are moving to, as well as provides an experience where they are in the moment and have “aha” sensations of recognition and shift. I have completed my wander and chosen a basket of natural items to replace the soft balls in my office. There has not yet been an opportunity for me to bring out the items because I completed the wander just a few days ago, but I am looking forward to using them. When I take clients into their inner world, instead of using an external representations of parts, it is harder for them. But it yields wonderful results as they have the felt sensation of being in relationship with their parts. And a felt sensation when shifts occur. I do not know of any studies that have looked at what the brain is doing when that is occurring, and I look forward to having a brain picture of what is activated and what is going on when clients connect in that way and the exact moment of shift. It is visible when that shift occurs and most people have such a vivid sensation of the shift that they keep it in their memory for a long time. I do enjoy parts work for it’s clarity, versatility, and helpfulness.
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*Initial Post*
I recently had a few Zoom sessions with an EBI NCC student who lives in Europe, with an 8 hour time difference between us. She was just getting home from work and I was finishing morning coffee. Despite this distance between us, I was amazed how she just dove into partswork right there on my screen. She had felt so distant, but once I began the interview, and she started speaking from a part, we felt inches apart.
This was our second session. Her issue centered around a decision of whether to move back to her country of origin. She had several competing commitments, driven by various parts, the tension between whom had kept her from resolving the issue.
It is always a good entry when the client says, “Well, a part of me wants to…”.
By now, I knew this client to be eager to explore her inner world, so I asked what part was speaking and if she’d mind closing her eyes right now and continuing to speak from that part, using the “I” voice.’ We went from there to Soul -to- Part dialogue, and then to representation of more parts who wanted to speak with Soul –all objects found on her kitchen table. Soon, She was having multiple part conversations through the Soul, and i was madly trying to capture the dialogue on paper. I sent this later to her as part of an email follow-up I send to all clients.
This long-distance session was very eye-opening for me and the client! We were able to really clarify the issue for her, and it showed me again how powerful this Gestalt of representational objects–material symbols–is so important to help us really step into being that part and hearing what it has to say as the visual image draws us right into our PFC. I don’t think I’ll ever forget how, when I suggested she use some household items to represent Parts right then and there at her kitchen table, her face just lit up, and she grabbed the salt & pepper shakers. Those parts really wanted to be heard!
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Wow, I love reading about how the distance didn’t matter when you both got into the zone and dived into Partswork. I realize I’m replying to this years later and virtual connection is a major source of life ever since Covid started so it’s really interested to see how far virtual human connection has come.
I’m really glad that the client was as into the session as you were as a coach. I believe if the client is in that space of being open, the session has a lot more room for connection. Way to go Sandy!
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Hi Lisa!
I enjoyed your post about the colored balls–I can see you there working so skillfully with clients. I like the idea of soft things, and I now want my very own basket of them. Yes, the palpable change when the issue gets clear and a path forward is seen, is so cool to witness! So great to get to laugh with a client!I wanted to share that for parts, I have used some natural (much harder) objects like small interesting stones, crystals, seashells, pine cones, even feathers and small Buddha statue to represent soul, etc. Although I’m still feeling very new to all this (and frankly in awe of its power to bring clarity) these objects in my limited experience can connect the client with nature without going outside!(in a way), or with other spiritual or meaningful symbolic (likely subconscious) values. I am always curious why they choose what they do, and often so are they! Another avenue to pursue, or at least to file away as ‘additional information’.
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*Summary Post*
I enjoyed reading everyone’s posts, and wanted to comment on the partswork 2 Webinar, which thanks to Daniel’s list, helped me remember, prioritize, and further think about these subjects:
• Parts Interview–get curious about is it a part or an interject from long ago?
• Soul-To-Part dialogue-the Soul keeps each part real and distinct
• Re-purposing parts-there are no bad parts
• How to use Nature within a partswork framework–Gestalt, symbols out on the land, using parts to explicitly help guide to deeper need
• Is client ready for Partswork? (Disregulation)And the important point for me to remember: as Coaches we are really obligated do Partworks with ourselves to help us show up as the most real and most potentially effective selves for our clients.
As many have noted, Partswork feels so rich and powerful. I plan on continuing to feel into creative ways to use different material forms and even somatic experiences like dance/movement, using musical instruments, encouraging different voices for each part, to help symbolize and work with Parts in ways that work for the client, where it feels mutually appropriate.
I can see how when a client says “A part of me feels…” I may be already off and running thinking “Aha, partswork!”, when we discover the client isn’t quite there yet, just exploring around the edges right now. I have found that sharing my mandala with clients has proven to spark interest and curiosity about what their own mandala might look like. That could then be given as possible homework, or to work on collaboratively in a future session. -
Initial Post
I was working with a man who wanted to step into a career change. We started off with getting to the “WHY” as I’ve found that the deeper the client can discover their why the more energy actually goes into change. I have not really use partswork in a formal way. I do bring up when someone points out when they say something like “a part of me.”
While working with this client we went a little deeper into finding out what parts of him wants to make this change. What we discovered was something truly profound! It wasn’t really any part that wanted the change, more so soul. He is a father and husband. Two parts of him that are heavily influencing the direction of his life right now. However, working in a deeper and more sacred space we found that the “WHY” he wanted was not from either of these parts. It was something deep within that was speaking, and we found soul at the center. In a very non-direct way he was able to have a dialogue from soul with the other parts about why he wanted to do this.
Shortly after, he put in his two weeks as his previous job and is starting a new job that isn’t so soul crushing to him!-
That sounds like such a rewarding session to be a part of and I’m not surprised you were the coach. It seems to me like you truly guided your client down a path of reaching the soul and the client taking action so quickly after the session is just so great to see.
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Sandy, you are so right when it comes to the language! As deep listeners when we hear something like, “part of me…” our ears stand up! That is really cool how you were able to both drop in with such different settings. One of the benefits of having the technology we do. I loved hearing how experimental you both were. Allowing her to have those dialogues take place, and noticing she was ready to dive deeper into her inner world.
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Lisa, I loved the playfulness and flexibility that you had since she didn’t want to move outdoors. For me it is a reminder that nature does not just entail wild nature, but everything. Everything is nature; ourselves, our environment, and everything in between! As guides and coaches it is always something to remember. I loved reading about your experience!
