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Partswork 2 (May 2020) Discussion Forum
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28 Replies
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INITIAL POST:
Rewatching the Parts Work recordings from the Intensive has been incredibly helpful for me. I am eager to find clients who will embrace self awareness and self acceptance through Parts Work. I am clearly seeing the offering of Parts Work through a retreat / workshop format for the initial identification, introductions and interview process. Where the clients have intentional time to spend processing this information and getting familiar with their parts. I see this as laying the foundation for Parts Work within individual sessions. In fact, I have been roughing out a format for an online retreat day and will incorporate Parts Work along with Nature Connection. Slowing down and spending earth time, dirt time and sit spot experiences, meditations like 7 steps or 7 breaths, help us to go within and I can see how practicing these with a focus on identifying parts could really help the clients get clear on their parts once educated to the concept.I am certain that the more I embrace the work on my own mandala, clients will too. The more familiar I get with moving/shifting my parts from a Soul directed perspective, as well as, having guided conversations within my mandala the easier the flow will come to guide others. Tapping into the curiosity of what makes them tick, who are they and what role they play is exciting. I have been spending time this evening writing out descriptions of my parts on another page of my jamboard. Somewhat through the interview questions, mostly “What do I bring to the system?” I have identified another part for my mandala and have a couple that I feel are so similar they really may be one. I am eager to set more time aside to keep working and will certainly be reaching out Mel and Amber, Taylor, too? For some Parts Work swapping! Seeing the value in the intentional time for it. I am also getting curious about what the Part’s motive is.
I found myself watching a video by Dr. Joe Dispensa this afternoon titled: You are the Placebo. Through the Trauma & Mind Body Super Conference, which is free this week at traumasuperconference.com. I am realizing the more I am exposed to this information the more it is clicking for me. Hmmm, just use it or lose it! He shared how we want to “change the brain from a record of the past to a roadmap of the future.” I see Parts Work and the mandala being such a strong tool for this transition. Establishing our snapshot of the moment but then taking the time to rearrange how we want the day to be, what parts need to show up, how and when, is creating the new dynamic of the “quantum model – causing an effect. Instead of the old model of cause and effect.”
Lastly, I also sense a benefit to rerouting the Grand Canyon of neurons, if we can isolate which Part(s) are resisting the change. Having conversation around the why and through self awareness providing the Soul the task of directing the system to what is best for the client.
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Initial Post:
So, I worked with my husband as my practice client. I know, I know – we aren’t supposed to, but I have been really wanting to introduce him to parts, and this was the perfect opportunity.
• What steps did you take to establish the Coaching Relationship and focus the session?
With the relationship we had, I clearly established I wasn’t in the role of spouse and that this was intended to help support him. He has had some idea of partswork in the past, so it was somewhat easy to focus the session.
• How did or could PartsWork fit into your nature-connected coaching session?
Up front, we talked about how this was going to be a two part partswork session. That was the intended and established focus for both sessions.
• How did or could you collaborate with Nature and combine PartsWork and Coaching principles?
In our sessions, we did not incorporate nature. However, I absolutely have the desire to bring parts into nature similar to what we did in our first Parts session at EBI. I intend on brining nature in once the parts have been identified and then will send the client into nature to do some self-interviewing and exploration of those parts. Identifying a part in the landscape and moving around is super powerful and an aspect I am going to bring into my client work.
• What challenges did you face? How did you adapt?
The main challenge I faced was when I got ahead of myself and introduced the soul too early. My client said it was difficult to follow at that point. Upon clarification in a session afterward, I was correct in my gut of simply sticking to part-coach interviewing in the very beginning to establish the cadence first.
• What flowed and how did you build off it?
Frankly, I was wildly impressed by his ability to stay in a part. It flowed so smoothly I felt like I didn’t have to do much interjecting with other parts coming in.
• What did you learn about yourself and nature-connected coaching?
I love parts. I really want this to be my modality. I am still stumbling on my introduction and explanation and demonstration of parts. This is what I would like to master. A concise way to explain parts. I notice I jumble my words and lose the clients. I tried explaining it to another client and totally lost him, so this is my point of growth and opportunity right now. Actively working this.
• What ideas do you have for how you might use PartsWork and nature-connected coaching in the future with your client?
Well, this is the only way I want to work with individual coaching. In long-term partswork programs. I am also playing with working with groups in the workplace. Just have to figure out my explanation first. 😉
• How does PartsWork effect or enhance your Coaching Presence and approach?
Maybe I’m just being self critical, but I struggle with my coaching prescence in parts. When I am explaining, I can see the eyes glaze over and I am very aware of that. Once we are in flow and in the process, I am dropped in and right there with them, but the sharp contrast between the two is a point of focus for me to help smooth out.• How does Nature-Connected Practices, and PartsWork interface?
So many ways! That’s why I love having nature as my backbone of my work. NCC specific, the seven breaths is the main tool I am teaching my clients to help them get into connection with their soul. As far as nature specifically, the sky is the limit! Parts as pieces of nature, finding metaphors in nature to describe a parts situation, putting together your mandala on the land – so many opportunities! -
Sheri! Yes! I love your excited curiosity in how this can all come together for you and your clients. And I so appreciate your mention back to us doing our own work as coaches. YES. Every day. Use it or lose it as you say. Through this, we will fine-tune our personal approaches to guiding through parts! And YES to practice coaching. Would love to!
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Initial post–
Over the course of a few sessions I explained PartsWork to my client and she created a PartsWork mandala. I showed her mine as an example. At the beginning of each session I ask her if she needs to take a few moments and take some deep breaths, to ground, get connected and into the present moment.
PartsWork can fit into a NCC session by using different items in nature during the interview process. Also when making the list I could ask what part of you resonates with or is drawn to that tree, fern, lake…, what part of you wants to jump in puddles and which one wants to stay dry….Nature has endless metaphors to explore parts with. I feel like many, if not all of our clients will have a part who is a nature lover and this will help incorporate nature into parts work. As I write this I’m thinking it’d be interesting to ask how each part connects with nature.
Being in nature with a client will help them to connect to the soul level to do parts work.
It can be challenging to do parts work virtually but having the client change seats or get up and move around or choose object for different parts is helpful. Also giving them time in between to really settle into the new part, asking them how they know they are in that part or how they connect to that part.
I’ve had sessions where certain parts did not want to talk which led me to talking to other parts and sometimes that’d bring up a conflict to work on with the client. So not forcing it, and going with what comes up.
I am working on being more directive, rather than asking if the client wants to step into that part.
Parts Work is exploring the deepest nature of ourselves so having nature to reflect it back to us is powerful. Having a tree or boulder gives strength to a part and to stepping into that part, and seeing a small flower for example can show the different qualities and attributes each part brings to the system.
As you all know, I love parts work and I am excited to explore different and new ways to bring it to my clients, especially as we can begin to connect in person more than just online.
Parts Work enhances my coaching presence and approach by giving me a confidence boost in my coaching abilities even if we aren’t specifically doing parts work it has made me a better listener to better coach in general.-
I was thinking this when I wrote up my initial post, too! That’s awesome! The interplay between various parts and how they interact with the environment during a session. It feels like it would add so much depth to the session (both in the moment: I see how it could help inform incorporation by adding a level of mindfulness to where the client is at in the moment; as well as over the course of a long-term coaching contract). I am curious what challenges in particular (if there’s an appropriate way to get into that here) you have found in regards to facilitating Partswork over the computer. I was so impressed with the Jamboard app during the intensive that I signed PIVOTPoint WNC up for a ZOOM account just to start messing with the other elements of how to best engage with clients virtually…maybe this could be a fun discussion offline if that proves easier, too!
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Hey Sheri! You know I’m always up for Parts Work :). I will also be planning a Parts Work / mandala making workshop in the future. I also find myself bringing Parts Work up in conversation with friends, and on a daily basis it seems with myself in a ” I wonder which part that is?” . I’ve found interviewing Parts on my own to be very informative as well. And it’s amazing how moving sticky notes around can make such a difference!
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Hey Taylor! I love that your husband is on board with this. I too feel like I’ve “lost” people bringing up Parts and I think that’s why I’ve shared my mandala with some of them when it’s happened during a session. As I was reading this I also wondered which of your parts is being self critical, which reminded me that I didn’t say anything about dealing with introjects in my post, and how impactful knowing that these are not parts of us can be, that we can free our parts from them!
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Initial Post
So, I haven’t worked with anyone on partswork outside of what we did at the intensive. Interestingly though I had a conversation with one of my fellow yoga teacher students and she is enthralled with partswork. We discussed that the way she was taught is that everyone has a protector part and the role of that part is to work with the other parts to solve any challenges. I explained that our learning is a different take with the parts working with the soul. And the protector part may or may not be one we have. It was a very interesting talk as we sussed out the differences although I walked away thinking that the protector from her learning was really the soul from ours.
Anyway, going to what we did…How does Partswork fit into nature connected-coaching? How could collaborate with nature and Partswork?
There is a time and place for partswork. And I don’t think it is for every one, every time. Where it does fit in nicely is when someone is feeling a disturbance within themselves. Using the partswork model, it can help the person identify the causality within themselves of the issue to then work together as coach & client to head toward resolution.Nature can help us to calm the mind in order to actually start seeing the parts, and working with the parts. While that is the ideal, it may be that nature just gives us that outlet to identify within and without ourselves for the parts to really start to work together.
What flowed? What didn’t? How does Partswork effect coaching?
So far I’ve only worked with folks who understand partswork, what their parts are and how parts are influenced by the awareness of boundary disturbances. And that makes the flow much easier as we move through the areas to work on. It will be interesting to apply this with folks who need to go through the process of identifying parts and then coach from this perspective.I believe the partswork effects how can we coach by giving the client an outlet for where the challenges are coming from. So while we may have different parts that make up the whole of who we are, we ultimately are each one person. The parts of us that we are born with and that are shaped/grown/change as we move forward in life influence our reactions, our experiences, our memories. As coaches understanding this from our client’s perspective will help us to guide more effectively for that unique individual made up those parts.
How does Nature-Connection and Partswork interface?
I really see partswork as part of our toolbox of ways to work with our clients. I know some folks want to focus their coaching on the partswork model and are deep diving into that. Think that is awesome!For my teaching/coaching plan, I see partswork as more of an identifying tool that launches into other aspects for my client’s needs. That said, if it is the right tool for that client I expect that it will then guide the session(s) relationship with that client. And having nature help teach by it sharing how the parts can be thought of and worked with. Nature gives us that space to hold for the client’s needs.
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Hi Mel – I really love that you are being more directive with partswork. And bringing this back into nature – truly using what is around you! I think one of my biggest hesitations with partswork is this idea of 1) how to get people to understand it, and 2) how to get them to work with it. So instead of just suggesting and seeing what happens, it sounds like you are really guiding the conversation. And also really appreciate that you are open to sharing with your clients your own mandala so it helps to illustrate what this really is and how it can help. I get what you are saying from the virtual perspective, a jam board really helps but the energy of getting them to settle and move forward is really different. So having them move and interact is great!
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Sheri – What a brilliant idea of incorporating partswork into a retreat format. And online in this crazy time is fantastic. The retreat does feel like it gives the client the time to process and give voice to the parts that make up who they are vs. trying to fit it into a session (of course, long-term clients are a bit different). Your ideas of using the other tools we have to help them get there feels very natural and organic. Just like you suggested with your own mandala, hopefully it will encourage them to want to work with what they’ve built as well.
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INITIAL POST
I met with my client on June 29. To give you a little bit of context, I began coaching this client back in October, and when we first started we met weekly when our schedules allowed. We quickly got into doing for Partswork as I needed to practice after the September intensive training. From the get go this tool was very powerful for my client. At the time we had identified a few parts. Every time we met it seemed, there were some parts refinement and new parts were added. At that time I introduced Parts interviewing as well as Soul to Parts interviewing. The client always left the sessions with powerful insights.
When the client entered into Action at full speed, we started to not meet as often, once a month was becoming our new cadence. Then Covid hit. Following by the BLM movement. During this time my client’s priorities had shifted. I stayed in touch and shared with her that I was in a bit of an idling phase but continuing my EBI training. She always responded that she wanted to get back into coaching with me when things had settled on her side. On June 1 she was allowed to start her business again and her life regained a sense of normalcy. It took her about a month to catch up with her work backlog and now she is just now ready to resume where we left off in March.
In a communication prior to our last session she mentioned she wanted to do some Partswork. For the sake of time, I had created a mandala in jamboard for her, with all her parts identified so far, assigned her edit mode and shared it with her. In my communication, I suggested that we start by taking a look at the mandala, review the parts, refine if necessary, and I introduced the concept of parts re-purposing, parts healing and introject.
During the meeting my intention was for her to drive the creation of the snapshot, but she said she had an old computer and she could not bring it up. She was also prepared on her side and had written her parts on pieces of paper. For the purpose of that exercise I moved the parts around the jamboard based on the instructions she provided. This was done very playfully. In the process there was a “part” that was creating havoc, and I loosely mentioned the word introject. We played with that for a while, and my client ended up saying that it would be best if “I don’t deserve it” was left to the side. I added a bit of drama by pushing the part as far as I could off the page and even turning it upside down and she thought it was so appropriate. We also explored what parts would come to the rescue if “I don’t deserve it” were to come up again. She named the three parts which I tightly placed together between the introject and the Soul for added protect. That made her laugh and was cheering the supportive parts.
Then I asked her if one of the parts needed to speak up. And she picked one that was not even positioned close to the Soul, “the Nature Lover”. We set up a conversation with the Soul and when the Nature Lover was expressing herself to the Soul, something powerful happened. My client stopped and started to laugh, but it was an uncomfortable laugh, and she said she was feeling sick, but not in a bad way. She realized how under-expressed that core part had been, and she became very sad about not having noticed it. She was referring to herself as the Original Nature Girl. I made a note of this term which I found powerful, and brought it up in the conversation later. She then decided to rename the Nature Lover the Original Natural Girl which she related to so much more.
When this was completed I asked for permission to bring up another part that my client had not identified. She accepted and was curious. When I said Healer, she again burnt out laughing and said that others had mentioned that to her. Among other healing work, my client does land blessings for land that have experienced a lot of trauma or disturbance, ceremonies that connect with the Spirit of the Land, clears away any remaining energies that no longer serve the higher good and deepen the bond between land owner & land. So now there is a new part to her Mandala. We capitalize the name on the sticky, HEALER, and it is positioned very closely to the Soul.
We are meeting again in a few days, and I suspect Partswork will be the main tool for me to work with this client.
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Rolling with the technical shortcomings with mapping out your client’s Partswork snapshot feels brilliant when I read this, Nadine! It brings up a connection to me in the way that a reflection is so powerful whether it is spot on or WAY off base! Either way, there is so much more information to run with. I can see how asking a client to be quite specific and directive in guiding their coach to create the snapshot could provide such depth in the content: “who is directing me to arrange your snapshot?” “is it still ____?” The preparedness of having a back up on paper is also a wonderful insight into where your practice client is at on the need vs commitment graph, too! In your synopsis I feel tremendous patience and confidence in how you facilitated this/these sessions. Inspiring! Thanks!
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Hello Kim, your question about how does Partswork fit into nature connected-coaching triggered an image for me. Though I initially thought jamboard was going to improve my ability to make Partswork available to my clients, and it might sometimes, I am starting to sense some of its innate limitations. It is on the computer! And it might not be the best medium for some clients. And there is likely a better way to do it in Nature. If I were to do a Partswork session with a client in Nature, I will likely invite the client to look around and pick a few things that would represent their individual parts. A rock, piece of wood, pinecone, a tree, a boulder, anything that has some association, real or implied, with the parts. These artifacts could be then brought home and used to do a snapshot within the confine of their home.
My last Partswork session was online and my client was inside her home. When we were about to do Parts interviewing, I asked her to pick an object to represent the part and another the Soul. The Soul became this beautiful mug full of color, and looked like a ball of fire, and the part was a semi-precious stone my client has on her desk. So it was good for me to remember that we can bring nature into a session even on an online session.
The other thing that comes up for me, and when the parts are identified, we could always suggest that the client go outside and pick a few items. Or this can be done in between sessions. And it is exciting to realize the possibilities are endless. 🙂 -
Because I find Partswork so powerful, and in light of the fact that I want it to flow naturally into my sessions, I am also pondering how I can influence the process and help kick start the discussion. I see how sharing our mandala as an example with some clients who are more visual or kinesthetic, or afraid to not get it right, could help them get over the initial hurdle of not understanding. This would also greatly help me explain in fewer words. And when I think about the potential drawback which would be for the clients to be influenced, I truly believe that overtime as the Parts get refined, the true parts would replace the ones that have been initially hastily borrowed.
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SUMMARY POST
For now, and until I am able to find a simple and elegant way to introduce Partswork, my approach is to let Partworks flow into the session, naturally and effortlessly, at best a tiny bit of help from me, and if it does not happen, I will not use this modality. As good as my last Partswork session was, I am also fully aware that Partworks does not work and will not work with everyone. That client has already a connection to Soul so I did not have to fumble with explaining that concept.
Because I find Partswork so powerful, and in light of the fact that I want it to flow naturally into the session, I am also pondering how I can influence the process and help kick start the discussion. Mel has shared her mandala with one of her clients and that might help some client who are afraid to not get it right or who are more visual.
At the same time, I am not against eventually offering Partswork as a more specialized service, but now is not the time. What stops me today is that I do not feel ready to launch into an intelligent explanation, and I also don’t want the session to turn into an intellectual conversation. I can already tell that my style will be much more experimental. But if the client needs more information, I would be willing to share Roger T. Strachan’s article.
The way I have introduced parts in the past is by calling out when the discussion started going in that direction. I am always attentively listening to the “part of me wants this…” and when I hear it, I may be asking what part of you is saying that. If it lands, I might throw a follow up question, or just a jot down and highlight a word in my session notes, knowing I would bring this back when the right time comes around.
In my online perusing, I came across the concept Archetypes in psychology as well as the Internal Family System and I started to wonder what the differences were as I saw overlap. I have little to no understanding of archetypes and internal family system (IFS), but now that I understand Partswork better, I can tell that Parworks is a model that does not fit the client into existing, universal boxes, but rather is individualized, and that the client herself gets to decide what that is. This is a very powerful difference, and that might be the only thing I need to know in case someone is asking me to explain the differences.
As I have a better sense of how to use Partswork in an online session using jamboard, my real work now is to apply it in Nature, and to create a more nature connected practice. Maybe in the forms of gathering elements of nature that represent the parts, but mostly to get connected to something much grander than the Parts… the Soul?
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Summary Post
The toolbox discussion we had last week on Partswork really helped put this in perspective for me. Hearing how others have worked with this – some more formally, some less formally – depending on the client and the context showed me how organic partswork can be. I kept feeling like I had to teach my client(s), go through the mandala, label the parts in order to move forward. Instead both Nadine and Mel shared how they’ve worked with clients to go into it at the moment and no labeling required! Just identifying if someone has a part that stands out within the discussion and talk it through. So helpful!I admit that I struggle with partswork on myself. I really appreciate Sheri talking through that was for her as well but has gotten to a good place now with partswork. So thanks for the insights on this and showing me I wasn’t alone in wrestling with it. And as it was pointed it, you can’t do partswork with your clients if you don’t do partswork with yourself.
So I’m now sitting with this. I still don’t know if this will become part of my toolbox but I’ve removed the barrier I put up against it. Will let things evolve for both myself and my clients to see what happens.
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Working on Parts Work this week, both as a client and a coach, has brought more insight to this process for me. I know Michael mentions how important it is to MOVE with PW. I really do feel the importance myself. Changing seats seems to change perspective as well, and really helps me settle in to that part from the other. It aids in a full body connection with that part. I am struck by how much the body can hold with that part’s character. I did also connect with holding a prop representation of the part but not quite to the same depth as I could get into the role of the part through physically moving. Another ah-ha for me was feeling the push back from the client when they were not wanting to step in to that part. Curious if there was more to it, the resistance that is. It was clear though, that we weren’t going there then. Maybe next time.