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Partswork Sept 2020
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Summary Post:
One major takeaway for me in this Partswork session is the interplay between the language we use and our parts. In considering how to use Partswork with a client, the vocabulary they use comes to mind. From our thread here a few examples are the use of “voice,” the idea of thinking and being stuck in the head, or when we say, “A part of me feels like xx.” It’s interesting to see how our parts reveal themselves in our language. Taking this deeper, when we facilitate Partswork as a coach we’re paying attention to the client’s language and when they move in and out of first or third person to give an indication of what part is speaking. I’m always looking for clues as to how to guide a client and language is a big one that I tend to pay attention to, likely due to my experience as an ESL teacher. I appreciate having a better understanding now of what is fueling that language so that I can dig a bit deeper with it to help clients develop more self-awareness.
Another major takeaway for me is just how much we are unaware of within ourselves. While we were working on our own Partswork within the intensive, I started having emotionally intense dreams that were unusual for me. It showed me how powerful our subconscious is, and the value of connecting with those parts on a more regular basis to consciously bring homeostasis to our internal systems.
Finally, I feel there’s a creativity to Partswork that appeals to me. I was chatting with a friend of mine who is a therapist and coach and she is familiar with IFS. I facilitated a Partswork intro session with her and we had the opportunity to chat more about our model of Partswork vs. IFS, which as I understand it has prescribed parts that are within everyone – as opposed to the parts that we are able to name based on our own experiences and understanding of our patterns and epigenetic expressions. I enjoy thinking about my parts in terms of my own internal mythology and interests. Like Deana’s idea, I’ve been using Partswork with tarot and oracle cards. I’ve even been connecting my own Partswork to a Dungeons and Dragons game I’m playing where my character is based on one of my parts, in an effort to connect more deeply with that part and better understand it. As a coach that likes to focus on client strengths in my coaching, I feel like the creative opportunities with Partswork are endless and can really be customized to fit the strengths and interests of an individual.
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Summary Post:
Thanks to all of you who engaged in the discussion! I LOVE partswork. I love the creativity and playfulness of the process and how profound and insightful it can be. This is definitely something I want to continue to use with clients. I recently had the opportunity to facilitate a StrengthsFinder group workshop and I used the “parts” concept to explore the different strengths of the individuals in the group. Parts are like our internal ecosystem–like the “Wood Wide Web” of roots, mycelium, bacteria and other unseen critters and entities that exist underground that transport nutrients back and forth in a symbiotic relationship within the system. Though we only see what’s above the surface, there are many hidden parts that contribute to the wellbeing or dis-ease of the whole. As we discover the needs and wisdom of our parts, we can consciously activate the parts that align with our Soul’s direction & desires, and consciously invite the parts that, though once useful, no longer need to be activated.
As I move forward with my coaching practice, I see how powerful this can be for clients even in an “informal” way. Understanding parts helps me identify shifts in perspective or mood as my client moves in and out of a part. I can support my client as they clarify inner conflicts that reflect different internally held perspectives. This work helps my clients integrate different parts of the brain as they move back and forth between parts, creating a pendulating effect. They begin to experience that their “wholeness” includes the complexity of their different states of being. They can become compassionate observers of their Selves, listening more deeply to the wisdom that each Self brings. Like a multi-faceted mirrored globe that reflects inwardly, parts become visible, and clients can begin to see and therefore tend to their many different Selves.
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Deanna,
I often wonder of parts can die as well. Sometimes i think they are integrated into soul- and that this is a movement in the direction of wholeness. I am currently in the process of doing partswork with my husband with the support of two coaches (not to be redundant but i mention this later in my posts)
Some of my more difficult parts seem to merge into other parts when they are understood or they get an promotion to a better title that reflects wholeness. For example my “Tomboy” recently became a child I call Sammy. Who is more concerned with play than gender. My nihilist became existentialist.
Thanks for the question. Just reading it providing clarity for me. -
I did a practice partswork session with the permission of an actual client. She was describing a relationship with her mother that felt oppressive. I brought in a little Gestalt by asking how she was experiencing that in the moment. She mentioned she felt like a yo-yo. I moved with her body language to express my awareness of this feeling. She was rather animated continuing with stories illustrating how she is feeling manipulated by her relationship with her mother.I would ask her which part of her felt this way- but she was answering the question with more stories. I has having a hard time redirecting her from the stories of incidents in the past when I got an idea. The office where I work is a play therapy office and has several toys. I grabbed the hula hoops an asked her to use the space to show me what she was experiencing. She initially had both of her parents (represented by hula hoops) nearly on top of her (hula hoop). The more she told the stories the more enmeshed they became in her diagram. She sounded frenetic and agitated. I asked her how she could get some space herself. She said “by getting them off of me.” I asked “where do you want them?”
She moved her mothers hoop to the periphery and her fathers about a foot away.
I asked her now that she had some room for herself if she would like to look inside. She said she felt curious and didn’t really know. I gave her access to some props and toys and a prompt to see if any of them represented awarenesses inside of her. She immediately began to fill the hoop with parts. Within minutes she had created a whole mandala. Her affect changed from frenetic to playful- she was really enjoying the process. We began to ask questions of the various figures within.
This brought us a little over the session end time- I asked if this was ok and she said. “Yes! I’m way into this.” -
@deanna.falge
That is an excellent question. Do parts die? If you relegate parts to strictly neural pathways, I suppose there is a possibility. However, I think they are much more than neural paths, much like we are more than our brains. Watching clients in sessions and working with my own parts, I get the sense that parts morph, mature, combine, splice – in other words, they are fluid. For example, I might have a part that is my goddess part, but perhaps there is another part, a warrior part that works in tandem with the goddess part. Perhaps they combine like Voltron and become one big part that dons a different name. I liken the parts to a Lite Brite. The empty holes for the pegs never change, but the way the pegs are arranged and how they light up is subject to change over the course of our lives. I wonder if we all have the same raw materials for parts, but we name them and arrange them differently. Or, are there parts of us that flat out will never exist in someone else? If I don’t have an athlete part, can I develop one, or did t always exist despite me never using it? Enquiring minds want to know….
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First, I. Love. Partswork. I don’t know if it will be my “this is it, this is all I will do,” way of coaching, but I see the potential that it could be that for me. With the Gestalt aspects supporting this kind of approach, (and Gestalt supports many approaches), partswork is a powerful, insightful tool for coaching. Ok, enough with the praises.
I have a client who has been working through her parts for several weeks now. She told me once that she doesn’t feel like she knows herself very well. Enter, Partswork. After the first session of building the mandala and introducing how we will be working with it, she was blown away. She sent me a message the next day, telling me that she feels like she is finally seeing herself for the first time. She dived head first into this exploration.
It’s a fascinating and exciting process. In each session, it feels like we have chiseled a little bit off the surface, the persona perhaps, and deeper into the underlying parts involved in my client’s most pressing conflict. She is an incredibly successful lawyer out on her own, but she feels like she doesn’t deserve it and that it is too risky. She speaks as if the risks she is taking are something that is happening in the future, and isn’t fully absorbing that she has already taken the risks and is being successful. As we have explored and meandered through the parts, we have finally came down to this part that has been telling her it is her job to be safe, to “stay in her lane,” and to stay alive from birth to death. Understanding some family background plays into this, as well as some interpersonal dynamics with parents, she now has a grasp on how her own parts are manifesting introjects, holding her hostage to those ideas of others.
I love Singer’s The Untethered Soul. He says “Only you can take inner freedom away from yourself, or give it to yourself. Nobody else can.” I feel that partswork is doing exactly this in my client’s case. The parts of her who don’t want the freedom have even at war with the parts that do. This process has been really powerful in being able to put her finger on those parts, to have them speak, to negotiate and figure out how to meet the needs of each of those parts, and to feel the support of each of her parts in meeting goals of the soul’s trajectory. Being that untethered soul requires that we examine the parts that feel the need to be tethered to an idea, a habit, a career, a process, and work with those parts to have a sense of alignment with the soul.
Ultimately, I would like to see my client create her mandala of parts on the land. She recently bought some land and is building a house with her family. The house isn’t ready to live in, but they are getting closer to being able to being where they want to be in terms of living on the land. I have already broached the idea of her and I having a session out on her land to integrate some partswork out there, but we haven’t been able to make that happen just yet. Still, very excited to experience that in the future!
Overall, I’ve learned how powerful this process could be. I got an indication of that during the intensive, but to see it working with a client is kind of exhilarating. I’m excited to be a part of it, but I’m even more excited for my clients who will benefit from this style of coaching.
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Reply # 1
@Jen
I agree with your point on Gestalt complimenting partswork. The use of the mandala is like this really creative urge in me that can’t wait to see mandalas represented in nature. For now the jamboard works. I wonder Jen which mandala you used with your client? I appreciate your insight about how clients can feel things in the future but that partswork can ground them into what is present. I like your use of words when you wrote introjects holding parts hostage. Yeah they kind of do! It got me thinking of brain stuff. When we collaborate to extract introjects there is neural rewiring happening. The needs of parts are key as you mention. Acknowledging them is very clarifying for clients as you point out. I wonder if by now you have made it out to the land with this client and the nature mandala was created?
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@gmlobito1
I love your choice of venue and that Gus went along! Dogs have an enchanting way of bringing us out of our defenses and into a sense of calm.
Your insight into the exploration fo shame is spot on. When interviewing the parts, it’s always fascinating how the parts don’t see shame, but protection or a sense of wanting to accomplish a particular goal. But it is the parts combined that bring out this sense of shame as a whole. It makes me wonder how much of our emotional experiences are conflicts between parts? What happens if all of our parts embody the same emotion at once. So much to think about! Thanks for sharing your experience with us. 🙂
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I was so inspired and Alice doing the partswork training that I decided doc
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Maria,
I love the metaphor or the lighthouse. You must have really been in the moment to have brought this out in him.
I also love that one of the parts was called “voice”. It makes me wonder if all of the parts can speak or if there is a separate part called “voice” that can put into words what the parts are feeling.
Your description of your session really came alive in my mind- so colorful and vibrant. -
I love the line “there is wisdom in the parts we are not so comfortable listening to.”
I find this often in my own parts- the hidden and uncomfortable parts can really create clarity in the places we feel stuck or blocked.
I love the courage you express in letting your clients be uncomfortable for a while. it is clear that you hold them well in the discomfort- but also don’t let the, off the hook. -
I do not have an official practice client, so the responses here are with my fish bowl client.
I start all of my sessions with a deep breathing exercise, and I always ask if my clients would like to join, or if they would like a guided breathing/meditation exercise. I feel that by doing this my client and I can create a new baseline that we are both operating at together. This time, my client was not interested, and preferred to sit while I tuned in to the moment. I felt there was a disconnect from the beginning due to this, but carried on.
As we worked through the session I asked about their parts and how they were dealing with the emotions and energy that the client was experiencing. My client agreed to pull up their mandala but not to share it, and I asked about some of their parts. This is a big challenge when it comes to NCC or Partswork via zoom, relying on clients to want to share their mandala of parts, and if they are unwilling then the partswork doesn’t get very far. We sat in silence while they organized and changed their mandala, and when I asked questions there wasn’t really an answer. I eventually asked if we could put the mandala away as I could see that they were started to slump their shoulders, hide their mouth with their other hand, stop answering completely and overall the tone of the session had changed for the worse. I don’t know that I would try to do partswork for the first time with a client over a zoom session.
When it comes to HOW I would like to incorporate partswork with my NCC I have a vision. I would like to take my client out on the land for an initial session, discuss some of their easy to identify parts and explain to them how they can make a mandala and show them mine. Then, lead them on a weekend or overnight session/retreat/thing and ask them to identify themselves in the land. I like to think that everyone has a strong and wise part like a mighty oak, and maybe they have a shy or dangerous part like a babbling brook that leads to rapids. With the client able to identify a tangible being to an inner part, I believe they can work to conquer many of the challenges and disagreements that may surface within their parts.
Like I mentioned before, I felt that my client was very distracted and struggled to maintain connection during the session, and became very distant while organizing their mandala. We eventually came to an issue that they were struggling with, feeling positive about themselves and their accomplishments. After sometime, we discovered that some positive daily affirmations and perhaps a mantra would help to build their confidence and encourage them to keep working and moving forward.
I truly enjoy partswork, and I hope that we do more work with it. Through our intensive and the extra research I have done I have noticed just how deep this can go, and how easy it can be to get others to talk about their parts. Often when I do partswork by myself, or while having a hard time at work I drop into soul and ask my parts who is causing this pain for me, I release some negative energy and wind up crying. I am a firm believer that a good sob can turn your day around. Partswork is such a pure and releasing practice, and I want to learn everything I can about it. In order for me to confidently work on partswork with clients, though, I need to be confident in my own parts, and able to understand what I am going through so I can help my clients.
I believe that in every ecosystem there are parts that work together for the greater goal of survival. Oceans, deserts, forests, mountain ranges, and the human body are made of parts that agree and disagree, work together and against each other to build and develop. -
“He used the metaphor of being a Lighthouse and that by doing his own spiritual work and keeping his interior Lighthouse shining, those who need him will find him.”
This was beautiful! I’m so happy that your client is able to identify his needs and focus more on his own work and soul and by doing so he knows that others will see the work he’s doing and come to him. I often feel disappointed that I don’t have practice clients and that I absolutely should at this point, and then I think that I must still have work to do before I can attract the people that need me most.
The trip out on the land with your client sounds like a real ground breaking moment. The “I am the boss” really hit me, and to practically SEE your client (because you have such a way with imagery) standing on a rock with a slight smile across his face, absorbing more light to project onto the world, sounds like a magical experience.
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That sounds incredible! I like how you were able to bring her back to the present by encouraging her playful part to work together to reach a direction to go. At first I thought “Oh this poor chick is doing 3 hula hoops at once AND telling her story!?” But then I realized they were just on the ground haha.
I’m happy that she came around to incorporating parts into your session together, and I hope that it continues to work with her. Knowing what we know now, a few weeks after our Brain Change and Trauma intensive, sounds like there was some pendulation going on!
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@lesliewier
I feel awful for your friend, and all social workers who are over worked and under paid. Especially during a time like this, I worry who is there for them. I’m glad to hear that you are able to help your friend, and hopefully this is something that she will continue to work on with herself during her very limited down time.
I also haven’t figured out how to organically bring in parts work, but I have very few “practice clients” so I don’t get much “practice.” I Like how you adjusted your session to better fit your client’s needs and found that she had some parts that were already present with information to share.
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PartsWork, possibly one of my favourite tools I’ve come across in coaching, the intensive stretched me and I went deeper and leant more. I felt that there was a space to integrate PartsWork and nature in a generous and impactful way.
And then it stopped. I haven’t focused on integrating PartsWork in my client sessions for various reasons.
1. How on earth do I do PartsWork and nature?
2. I feel like I want to do this in person with a wall and my beloved post it notes.
3. Do I know enough to guide a client through the PartsWork process and follow through for impactful coaching? Forever the student.
4. Gestalt comes more naturally in my coaching style, so I have favoured it.
5. I need to invest more time in my own personal PartsWork.That said I am dying to utilise it more so will address the discussion question around how I would like to integrate PW with the The Wyld Within.
I have a great pull to do PartsWork with the client in person, I would like to offer my clients the opportunity to do a deep dive into PW utilising my 3-5 session packages, however, I want to complete the first session in person. Allowing 3-4 hours, a blank wall, movement and breaks in nature to really flesh out and gain clarity of the client’s mandala. It would be an intensive half day which would be followed by the remaining sessions in person, preferable, or online.
In establishing the coaching relationship, the client would be an existing client or someone who is curious about PW and seeking a carefully curated package focused on PW.
The initial session would be completed in my new home on the Sunshine Coast hinterland, I have purchased a couple of acres, on the ridge line, looking out over forest and national park, the bird life is abundant and while it is close to the village and major centres I can’t see or hear any neighbours once you enter the garden gate and look down into the gardens. There is a beautiful and grounding energy there.
I have a vision of creating a home here, gardens with rooms, building in the views and being able to conduct one on one coaching sessions from here. There is also access to some amazing trails only 500m from my front door. It is the perfect place to dream and create, it is here I think PW will naturally fall into The Wyld Within’s offerings.
I’m now sidetracked, daydreaming of my hinterland wilderness.
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Integrating nature and PW feels necessary to maintain the client’s energy and insights in an intensive first session of guided inquiry. I believe it would remain vital throughout the process, as clients can take a walk in nature with their different parts, noticing how that part interacts with nature, what do the birds want to tell that part, how does that play in the whole, where is Soul in this. What does each part need?
Nature provides a beautiful setting for PW to unfold.
I will take pause here, but I look forward to the creation of my PW offering and sharing those experiences with all.
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Reply 2
@ Sophie
I also favor partswork. At first it’s a little weird but then it gets really interesting quickly! I also came to stop with pretty much the same points you laid out for self-inquiry. Mostly #3 and #5. Now I’m thinking which part of me feels this way ! I also had a notion that “oh man now there is more complexity to my multidimensional life, more work, more healing parts in so many places and times AY!!!” I appreciate your strategy for implementing partswork into your practice. It offers some insights thanks! I love how you are able to locate a “grounding energy” on the land. But in terms of natura-connection taking everything into consideration, discounting nothing that the natural world is telling you about your parts can be very deep and clarifying as you mention the natural world being a “beautiful setting.” I agree and can’t wait to wander with my own parts as this is much needed.
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