-
Trauma Forum Dec 2019
-
30 Replies
-
To begin the session I went over confidentiality, how much time we had, got permission to coach her.
Nature is such an amazing resource so is very helpful and accessible through actually going outside, looking out a window or imagining it.
My client had an experience that was traumatic and when speaking about certain aspects of it she became uncentered and pulled out of the current moment and back into it. I could see this in her posture, hear it in her voice, her diverted eye contact, etc. I asked her where the sensation was in her body and to sit with it and breathe, then to visualize a place she had spoke of earlier in the session that brought her peace and calmness and explained resourcing to her so she could use it on her own in the future. I asked her to describe it in detail, using all her senses and invited her to take as much time as she needed to really sink into that place and how it felt in her body. Later in the session she was able to use that imagery, some deep breaths and some sips of water to refocus and pull herself out of the story to refocus on the present moment.
I felt like I did well at not getting caught up in her story and bringing her back to the present, reflecting back to her her want and need when she lost focus.
The process unfolded nicely as she discovered what she needed to do and was excited to do the work.
Showing people that nature is a resource, something that can help them heal even if it’s just them visualizing it will, in my mind, help people care more about the environment and help them know they are connected to it which really means so much to me. I am happy to have the “sciency” words to back up my “hippy talk” lol.
You don’t even have to be doing it on purpose for nature to ground and heal you so sharing with people how it is when you do it with intention is even better! Inviting a client to stop and ie listen to the birds brings them back into the moment. -
Mel – I really like that you bring up using nature as a resource even if it just a visualization of nature. You also had brought that up in our recent toolbox webinar and such a good reminder that it is not only around us but in us. Especially when facing and dealing head on with trauma. We can help our clients to resource this no matter what the setting.
And how fantastic your client was able to apply resourcing throughout the session when she needed it. Have you had a chance to meet with her again to see if she has continued to use this tool?
I was reading recently about a new term ‘psychoterratic’ that is the psychological responses to place/nature put out by Glenn Albrecht. It just made me think of what you are saying when you talk about the healing and connection through nature. Not sure we really need a name but more an understanding of it and how to use it! -
I had an opportunity recently to work again with a previous practice client (and a friend) on a more informal basis than an official coaching session. That said, as I saw where were going I asked him if he was comfortable with me moving into more of a guide role than a friend role. And reminded him that everything remains between us. So our conversation felt a bit like coaching and a bit like friends talking. I’ve noticed that this more informal approach/style has been working well with the folks I know.
My friend was definitely in a more hyper state with his overreaction to what was going on. His description of things and his attention to just repeating the story over and over in different ways was very telling. I let him go with it for a little bit but interjected thought starters to get him back to focusing. I also know with this person, the best way to get him somewhere is to let him come to the thought. So we talked about grounding from the root chakra and what that means. He then was open to ground and center himself on the earth. I asked him to talk to me about the trail we were on, what he saw/felt/heard/smell. It was like a light switch turning on – we could then really talk.
As we were talking I could see that he’s in the planning state of change. And circling around in there. It is a pattern I’ve seen in him. He’s not ready to face the actual trauma(s) that may have brought him to this and it is not my role as a guide to force that issue. So we stayed away from getting to far into the deeper need and instead created actionable items for the current issue. He was definitely in a better place for this action step!
For this time, nature played a bit of a backdrop to the session. But just by being out there, I feel like it made a huge difference. And this client/friend works in a high-powered corporate world all the time. But loves being out on the trails so just by being in the place where he’s most at home and at ease was a big part of getting to a new action.
-
INITIAL POST: I have added a new step to my the beginning of a session. Following the clarification of accepting my guidance/coaching and statement regarding confidentiality I ask for how they resource, what that looks like for them and/or things that bring them centered or into connection. Then we practice one of those options or I bring one myself to introduce them to. This time for dropping into connection is helpful not only to bring the client to the state of mind for clarity but brings me there too.
I think an important first step of the discussion at the intensive was defining Trauma. The definition I have come to, based upon several stated ones within our readings and time with Katie has evolved to: Trauma is the individual’s response to a perceived life threatening situation that overwhelms their coping mechanisms and does not sequence through the body.
It was eye opening to me to realize that trauma is in the nervous system not in the event. So we need to complete the sequence through from that where it’s stuck.
Complete the sequence – experienced this first hand myself during the week of the intensive. I was laying in bed Thursday morning and found myself bumming up against a stuck spot when remembering a traumatic life event. I could feel where I started to freeze and want to turn away, set aside the feelings or shut them down. I realized this is the sequence I was stopping. So I took a deep breath, resourced myself and told myself to feel it through. I am safe, see where this goes. Feel the feels. Giving it permission to wash over me. This allowed it to complete, or at the least go further than I had in the past. It was almost like a wave washing over me. It certainly did not take all the pain and memories away but brought it to something I could cope with. Something I could open to, acknowledge, and move through. It was a powerful experience. I spoke with Katie about it later that day and she was very encouraging. This experience has me eager to bring this gift to others, when they are ready.
I am grateful for understanding the “how” because it provides a way to share the knowledge because “knowing is half the battle.” Understanding the science behind what is occurring, somewhat demystifying it, bringing it into the realm of something I can process through.
My biggest take away from the training was resourcing. My job is to provide a safe place for the client to explore, discover, uncover what they have to work with. My ability to know and guide them to their resources bringing them back to that safe grounded space makes the work they have, which may be very painful and difficult, a chance to come to the forefront and be worked through, whatever that means for the client. I don’t have their answers. I don’t have their memories. I do have the ability to support them and provide that safe space and loving presence.
-
Hi Kim,
From your description of the session with your client, I hear how you (and nature) really held a patient and safe space for him to vent/get clear on the conflict and then move towards action steps.
It sounds like your use of resourcing really helped to move him out of the chemistry of the repeating story: “I asked him to talk to me about the trail we were on, what he saw/felt/heard/smell.” and into the PFC– into that creative, connected space: “It was like a light switch turning on – we could then really talk.”
It is simple and profound– that this moment can be a key teaching of the trauma module. Being able to notice and hold what your client is presenting (the story/maybe trauma) and invite them into a more grounded place within themselves and in nature. Change can then happen, and will, in its own organic, client-led way.
-
Hi Sheri –
I really like that you are now starting your sessions with resourcing and putting the client in charge of what is right for her/him. It not only provides both the client and you with a baseline starting point, it sets your relationship up for having that as a go-back-to when needed! Such a smart and connected way to bring this into your guiding.And, I like you, really appreciate stepping back to understand that trauma is a nervous system action/re-action vs. the trauma being in the event. Of course I kept swinging back to medical trauma as well. After thinking through this, it dawned on my that I associate medical trauma with shock trauma to the emotional state.
Thank you for sharing your experience with trauma & resourcing. Really helped to illustrate a client’s experience as well as sharing a very personal moment.
-
Hi all,
Such juicy and rich experiences you are all posting about so far! What is coming to mind as I read through these posts is the idea that one way to deepen our listening and understand what is happening for our clients is to consider that we area always working with a whole being–brain, nervous system, body and one that will naturally always orient itself towards healing and health.
If the word “trauma” gets you caught up a bit, it can be helpful to remember that we are working with a nervous system that is sitting across from us or walking with us. We all have “trauma” in our bodies and nervous systems somewhere. One thing we are looking for and listening for is where our client’s nervous system is in that moment–are they within a window of tolerance/in a coachable space? Or is there opportunity to invite grounding and resourcing to help bring their nervous system back into that learning, creative, curious window of tolerance.
-
Sheri,
“This time for dropping into connection is helpful not only to bring the client to the state of mind for clarity but brings me there too.”
Yesss! This is so important and powerful for everyone involved 🙂
-
INITIAL: This was a repeat client that I had originally worked with in a group setting through my organization. Originally, he asked if I rented out the mountain bikes I have and I mentioned that I did one on one sessions with individuals and that we could certainly try to incorporate the bikes into that time if he wanted to engage in some movement while we connected. And he was eager to do so. As an aside, this response is one that I have come across a few times and it brings up some interesting feelings for me as a guide. I think that some of it is around genuine concern that the gear that we work with is a little gimmicky. It does not feel organic or spontaneous during the coaching sessions, somewhat forced actually. It has been an interesting part of the development of my services as a guide, and has bled into the work I do with groups as well. I am still not sure where that comes from; however, am leaning in to it and, in this session, allowed it to play a part in the time I shared with this client.
We met in Bent Creek Experimental Forest and I had two bikes on the car. I had the intention of beginning the session with some resourcing as I felt so empowered by watching Katy explore that process with us as practice clients during the last intensive; and yet, I couldn’t get past this background feeling of being somehow fraudulent with using the bikes – as if I was hooking a client with this flashy piece of gear and it felt wrong. I worked through this narrative in my head while I was loading up the gear and thought I could facilitate a session through it, in spite of it. As soon as we greeted one another at the parking lot, I felt that I couldn’t. I asked the client if he minded if I explored something with him before we began, and acknowledged that, as we were on his schedule, that I did not want to take up our time together, and that I thought that, to best use our time together, I was hoping for an exchange. He consented and I named this concern of mine, framing it as a curiosity around his interest in doing some nature-connected coaching vs wanting to rent a mountain bike and go for a few laps on a single track. I believe that some of the signs/symptoms in Katy’s article about trauma were in the forefront of my mind during this experience for me as I kept coming back to the use of the bikes as a dissociative mechanism – as a way of escaping. The trauma here being a concern on my part of not being capable of facilitating the session. I had the thought, suddenly, that I was asking my client to be my guide and hoped that I might be able to find some grounding in our dialog (if he would engage in one around this) and be mindful of myself as a guide vs being a client myself and unfairly asking something of him, of unfairly asking him to be a resource for me. The long and the short of it is that he felt that the bikes WERE the reason he scheduled the session. Like one of those tours/sales pitches of a fancy condo and in exchange you get a free weekend trip (those are things, right?). He said that there was something that kept coming up for him around large group activities (active client, lot of social engagements) and he thought he could trick himself into committing to some coaching sessions by telling himself that he just wanted to ride.
What started off as (unfairly?) asking my practice client to be a resource for me, created some space for him to ask in to why he wanted to ride, too. And while he agreed that the gear was what he WANTED to use; the session is what he knew he NEEDED to have. We ended up going up and down the service road rather than the track we had picked initially so that we could lean into the experience and check in with more frequency during the 1.5 session we had together (didn’t start the clock until after we had this initial conversation).
In reflection, and though it was NOT my intention at the outset, me requesting some of his time and feedback before we began, has taught me the value of how our presence as a guide (or as a client) is all the nature that there needs to be in nature-connected coaching. My vulnerability, self-doubt in the moment, and willingness to name it and ask in to it WITH the practice client, created trust and a container where he revealed the beginnings of a deeper need almost immediately. We were able to explore some dissociative patterns that he relied on and spent our time together really establishing the safety and support of our work that will continue by practicing awareness around the use of humor, we explored when the urge and drive to go for rides or runs or pick up games at the park arise for the client. Tried to navigate, through recall, what was coming up around these plans: busy part of the week? deadlines? other stressors? And while I did not feel it was going to be effective to start exploring specific interventions, I shared the idea of some interventions, in their effectiveness of working through the body’s cycling of an event…I didn’t use the word sequence exactly, but the idea resonated and we came up with some incorporation homework of sorts. He is going to carry around a little moleskin journal and, as he makes plans throughout the two weeks before our next session, he is going to do a body scan (which we walked through after loading the bikes back up) and note sensations and their locations in the body.
It was a super weird, unexpected session, and having read Sheri’s initial post, felt compelled to share the content of this module as it pertained to myself in addition to the client. -
Hi Kim, I applaud you for the interjection when your client is in the story, particularly in a hyper state. I’m curious how you navigate that: when to jump in? how long to let your client “go off” on a tangent, or come back through a cyclical narrative. “He then was open to ground and center himself on the earth. I asked him to talk to me about the trail we were on, what he saw/felt/heard/smell. It was like a light switch turning on – we could then really talk.” It is so wonderful to read other’s experiences with the grounding that comes by simply inviting a client to engage their senses! Thank you for presenting the simplicity of this, it seems that you embraced the unfolding of the time with your client and allowed space for what he needed to work through while holding clear ideas around your role in the moment and how to best support his time with you.
-
Hey Mel! Thank you for reiterating the simplicity of the work happening for all of us! “You don’t even have to be doing it on purpose for nature to ground and heal you so sharing with people how it is when you do it with intention is even better! Inviting a client to stop and ie listen to the birds brings them back into the moment.” I will not project this on to you, as it is definitely mine, I often am amused at how the complexity of the work we do is around me getting the heck out of the way and allowing for what is already within myself, my clients, and the surroundings, to have a chance to do what they were all designed and placed here to do! I also can relate to the benefits of having some more “official” words for some conversations; however, also agree with something Kim mentioned: that perhaps we don’t really need a name for these experiences so much as a deeper understanding/experience with them.
-
This! “If the word “trauma” gets you caught up a bit, it can be helpful to remember that we are working with a nervous system that is sitting across from us or walking with us. We all have “trauma” in our bodies and nervous systems somewhere. One thing we are looking for and listening for is where our client’s nervous system is in that moment–are they within a window of tolerance/in a coachable space? Or is there opportunity to invite grounding and resourcing to help bring their nervous system back into that learning, creative, curious window of tolerance.”
Mandy, thanks for bringing this visual to mind. Embracing my client as a nervous system and where they are in their ability to process in that state is very helpful! Removing that concept of “trauma” almost feels like it is removing the kid gloves. It’s almost like when I think of them in trauma I immediately go into this “step with caution, they are fragile” mode, or even don’t want to go there, to avoid bringing them pain BUT looking at it as a system we can bring back into harmony by sequencing through and knowing that resourcing is the first step for that really feels do-able. Not to say we should ignore the need for caring steps but rather realizing that resourcing is caring! Plus helping them heal through the resourcing and processing through. Very helpful visual for me.
-
Matt – Thanks for sharing your story. It felt very gestalt-like to step into the conversation and claim your concerns with your practice client. Then for that to open him to a realization of his own needs. Sounds like your vulnerability really gave him permission to go there too, and quickly.
“taught me the value of how our presence as a guide (or as a client) is all the nature that there needs to be in nature-connected coaching” – YES! I so agree our presence is crucial and am learning to invest the time to be there, at the level I need to show up. What your story has taught me is if I am not where I need to be, claim it and work it through, even with the client to get there. They likely feel it and maybe that conversation is just what they need too. Thanks!
-
Summary post
What I am taking away from this module is that trauma can mean different things to different people, to varying degrees and everyone has experienced trauma to some extent in their lives.
As NCC I am not searching to bring up a clients trauma, but now I know what to watch for in a client that may indicate a traumatic response or neural pathway, what’s going on in their nervous system. I can then coach/guide accordingly in an appropriate way for that client at that moment. I found the Gestalt teachings very helpful in knowing when to engage or when to leave it for now, maybe another time, or maybe not at all.
Resourcing has been such an amazing tool. For me even just saying “resource Melody!” to myself can calm me right down lol. Knowing a client’s resources ahead of time is very helpful, and if I don’t and they need a resource nature is my go-to, which is why NCC works so well!
I’ve noticed that the pendulating seems to happen naturally which I find fascinating to watch as our brains are drawn to old ways of doing and being. -
SUMMARY: I can echo Mel’s testament to resourcing being such an invaluable tool for guiding. I continue to find so much synchronicity in the experiences that are unfolding in my work here in AVL and the components of the NCC curriculum. They have consistently expanded on parallel paths throughout this journey! I am reflecting on the importance of not observing the session with wide-angle vision. Incorporating a Gestalt approach to the time shared with a client and being curious about what is unfolding as it is unfolding. This perspective is helping inform my sessions with practice clients in that I am becoming increasingly appreciative of a client’s present moment experience as it is being presented. So where I previously noticed layers of somewhat cold (or even frustrated) elements to observing a client being engaged in story; I now am far more compassionate and empathetic to the likely context of where the client is during the session. The expanding context that each of these modules is providing to the scaffolding we were introduced to in Gunnison is consistently and impressively cultivating more and more empathy with each session.
The additional elements and lenses we are being introduced to are also challenging for me at times, in that there is more cycling through my brain and observation as I share time with a client. It is all still so new and percolating in my brain and system. Some sessions, things are calm and have clarity around the hour/hour and a half; other times, I have resourced with a client for my own grounding and truly embraced that we are both, as humans, resources for one another…and then been able to proceed with more connection, more awareness, more heart, slightly less mind!