Cynthia Allen
Forum Replies Created
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Finally getting around to my summary/follow-up post! Foundations does seem like a while ago and I feel like I’ve grown as a coach so much since! And still I’m so excited to continue evolving and growing as a coach. I am starting to experience how this type of coaching is profound and life-changing! When I think back to the person I was prior to starting this program, I can barely recognize myself. That is transformation in process. As I continue to work these foundational concepts myself and with clients, I think about a few things:
Keeping it simple – At this point I think I have engrained the Severence-Threshold-Incorporation (the ceremonial arc) process into my coaching style in a way that is not linear. I keep an awareness of these parts of the process operating in the background, and really try to follow the clients lead. A continued learning edge for me it to stay with what is. Meaning, not try to push through the whole process just because I’m in love with Threshold experiences. This is a continued focus.
LISTEN DEEPLY – I love it when the coaching sessions are 90% client talking, and 10% me asking questions and reflecting. I think there is so much value in simply listening, and it’s not always so simple!
Laugh and be joyful – only when appropriate. But I do enjoy bringing a light touch if I can
Keep doing my own work! – This is critical and something that I feel deeply committed to!
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I see myself initially drawing upon my network, my former career experience, and all the work I’ve done through EBI as I begin my coaching practice. Having worked in the environmental and oil and gas fields for 20+ years, I personally experienced the challenges of working in male dominated industries as a female. So, when I think about coaching others, I initially see myself doing one-on-one coaching with women in male dominated businesses and industries and helping empower them to find their inner truth, lead with authenticity, and find and express their voice. I also see myself working with men in this capacity too. Equality is one of my core values and I want to see more women in leadership roles bringing balance to our current patriarchal system. I see myself working with people who are keen on personal development and growth, are seeking balance in their lives, and are looking for something deeper and more meaningful; people who are open to and curious about living soul-centered lives.
Since I’ve begun working with clients, I am seeing a pattern emerge with a common deeper need. The deeper need among many of my current clients is the need for self-love, the need to shed un-worthiness and fully love and appreciate themselves. Goals that arise through this space are centered on body image, perfectionism, being an over-achiever, and seeking outside validation. Some other categories of goals I could see my ideal clients working on are work / life balance, career satisfaction, authenticity, empowerment, growing self-confidence, and finding their voice. My offering to clients will be in the form of a monthly retainer, where they will get 2 sessions with me per month and also have access to me via text or phone call if needed, up to 30 minutes per connection. I will also be providing helpful articles and accountability support in my service offering. One of the two sessions each month will be on the land. Through conducting sessions on the land, I will introduce clients to a variety of nature connection techniques. I’m working on guiding the 7 stairs meditation/visualization to help clients connect to Soul, and also working on the 360-awareness meditation to help clients connect to themselves and the natural world. The ‘wander’ is another tool I use to collaborate with nature and help clients see the benefits and clarity they can get through allowing nature to guide them. Ideally, I’d like to support my clients in cultivating a daily habit of interacting with and being in nature. The biological benefits of this are enormous and the commitment to daily ritual is empowering.
I’ve found several life coaches whose focus is on empowering women, growing self-confidence, and helping people find their authenticity, their voice, and their inner truth. Empowered Women Coaching is owned by a woman who succeeded as a partner at a law firm, went on to be a senior executive at a fortune 500 company, and now runs a coaching practice that helps women. Fran Fischer Coaching is another life coach who focuses on helping people discover their true nature, their authentic self. Amy B Steindler is another life coach who focuses on women empowerment, personal growth, self-confidence, and communication skills. These are three coaches I found doing some brief internet searching that grabbed my attention. I know there are hundreds more. What I didn’t see with these coaches’ service offerings is nature connection to support the goals and aspirations of the client. I even searched on the key word ‘nature’ in the ICF directory, and it returned zero results! This was surprising. With the nature component missing from these three coaches, I see a huge opportunity to bring something different to this space and help people reconnect with their truest selves through deep relationship and connection to nature.
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Sometimes I jump from threshold experience to threshold experience without fully incorporating them or integrating my learnings. I know this part of foundations is about the threshold and not incorporation, but I wanted to acknowledge this because it’s something I’m learning about myself through this program. I’m also seeing how much I enjoy the threshold, both having these experiences and helping others have them too. I associate the threshold with the unknown, and I’m fascinated by the unknown, by the mystery of possibility, and by curiosity and discovery. I’m interested in understanding why the threshold helps catapult people to change. Does it give our brains a new pathway, a glimpse at what’s possible? I’m also thinking about how to best guide clients into threshold experiences that can help them achieve lasting change in their lives. I want to remain aware that my desire and excitement for the threshold could prematurely guide clients to places they aren’t comfortable and that is the last thing I want to do. So, this awareness is good to have so that I be sure to build trust, be clear on the deeper need, and the intention before jumping into a threshold experience with clients. Or, maybe sometimes a threshold experience can reveal the deeper need and allow for expansion from this point. Either way, I’m very clear that a strong intention is necessary.
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Oh, the threshold! The moment where we get to experiment with the experience of the deeper need, with the way we need to be. As I reflect on these moments as a coaching client and in my life, I recognize the self-realization and expansion that comes from these experiences. I recall one session during our Foundations intensive where I was working on voicing my truth. I co-created the threshold with my coach, and I got to experience how it felt to sing my soul into the world. I still recall the feeling of confidence and internal power that came through this experience. In some of the other threshold experiences I’ve had, I recall coming through the other side with a new and expanded sense of self, discovering something about myself that I previously did not know. Stepping into the unknown, and coming out the other side has left me with greater self-awareness, confidence, sense of purpose, and expansion. Through these experiences, I realize how important it is to identify the intention prior to going into the ‘threshold.’ Without intention that ties to the deeper need or to the want/goal, the threshold experience will not have the potency of understanding the new way of being. Knowing this personally, helps me realize the importance the severance process is for having a meaningful threshold experience, because without strong intention, the threshold may not hold as much value. This is deeply informing how I want to be as a coach.
During the Foundations intensive, the first time we were guided to go on a nature wonder, I had a profound ‘threshold’ experience that demonstrated the potency that nature can provide in these threshold experiences. We were asked to go outside with a question that was present for us, something that we needed help with. We were to begin by sitting for a few minutes and opening up our senses, and then go wondering, with no objective or destination, simply letting nature and instinct guide us. My question was about the guilt I felt surrounding the freedom I was experiencing from my Dad’s passing. As I opened my senses and let nature lead me, I was guided to three different piles of bones. In my belief system, bones symbolize ancestry and can invoke communication with ancestors. Next, I heard my Dad’s voice say, “it’s ok, I’m here, I support and love you.” This reminds me of the 50/50 principle presented in Coyote’s Guide. “Coyote offers a principle giving you permission to ‘go with the flow’ and adapt your plans as necessary. (P. 234). Letting nature participate in the threshold added so much depth and richness to my experiences, I know this is a mandatory part of supporting clients through their own transformation.
As a coach, I want to help people realize profound transformation in their lives. As I continue to experience ‘threshold’ moments, I am working on transforming my own life by experimenting with being and/or doing things I’ve never done before. This is how I can transform into someone I’ve never been before; to realize my vision. By knowing this experience personally, I hope to better guide my clients through it. This is one way the ‘threshold’ is informing my coaching. As I change and transform by having threshold experiences, I will better be able to guide clients through their own transformation. This makes me think of the different change processes that were discussed in the Coaching Skills book. On page 183, Rogers writes, “Ultimately, we are held back from change by fear. The fear is about loss of control of being unable to cope with the unknown.” The ‘threshold’ is the unknown, and the more I am comfortable in this space the better I can help guide clients through it. Having threshold experiences also informs my coaching because it’s helping me experiment with something new and different. Nature participating in these experiences is showing me the importance of collaborating with nature and surrendering to the unknown experiences that nature will provide. This informs my coaching by helping remind me to surrender to the unknown while in sessions with clients. It helps me put aside my ‘I know’ mind and surrender to the flow of what is happening in the moment.
For me to feel confident as a coach helping clients get clear on their intention and guiding them into a threshold experience requires a deep level of trust. This hits on one of the ICF core competencies; cultivates trust and safety. Guiding clients into the unknown, the threshold, could be scary for them. To do this effectively, I believe it’s vitally important to partner with the client to create a safe, supportive environment that allows the client to share freely. Another ICF core competency I believe is critically important for me to feel confident as a coach is facilitating client growth. While the whole coaching arc has the potential to do this, I believe the greatest growth can happen in the threshold. All aspects of this competency are important for me to feel confident as a coach, guiding clients through threshold experiences.
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Reflecting on the material in this section along with everyone’s posts, I’m drawn to the concept of the collective psyche, the ecological unconscious, and the personal work that I’m doing to heal myself, thus healing the world. I’ve been playing with a looking glass metaphor. I’m not sure I have the words to adequately describe what is present for me in this metaphor, but I’m going to try.
The looking glass itself is a mirror. On one side is me and on the other side is the culture, collective, world, etc. In the middle is the mirror, the looking glass. The way I’m using this metaphor in my life is by seeing how I am the microcosm of the whole. In my last post I talked about the “compulsively masculine character traits that permeate our structures of political power and which drive us to dominate nature as if it were an alien and rightless realm (T. Roszak, Ecopsychology – The Principles). Using my looking glass metaphor, I can see some of these character traits in myself and I’m finding myself questioning how I contribute to this imbalance. I do my best to tread lightly on the planet, but I’m feeling acutely aware that simply being alive in this country, with my lifestyle, can negatively impact the planet. This breaks my heart and speaking it out loud is hard, but facing these truths will help me be more conscious and drive change within myself. Using this metaphor, I’m looking at myself in the mirror, and asking how do I contribute to the whole? Can my actions of slowing down, touching deeply into myself, listening to my soul, and connecting to nature have impact on the collective? Will awakening my own ecological unconscious help the world awaken theirs? Intellectually, I believe the answer is YES! Experientially, I believe the answer is YES!
But in this moment, I’m having a hard time maintaining my optimism. One week ago today, there was a mass shooting at the grocery store where I used to shop every Sunday on my way home from my partner’s house. It was 1 mile from where he lived and 0.5 miles from his kids school. I bring this into my post, because it makes me question the health of the collective psyche and if it’s possible to ignite change. I keep coming back to these questions, how can we heal? In a world where we’re so divided, so polarized, where do we begin? I feel called to help bring balance and unity to the divisions we face, but in this moment I feel hopeless. I’m doing some work on applying my looking glass metaphor to this situation, but I don’t have any revelations yet. Right now I’m processing my grief, anger, sadness. I’d like to share a poem I wrote this morning:
Inside I’m tender
One the edge of a bender.
Feeling like I want to escape,
Wrapping myself in my cape
And hiding
From the hopelessness,
Wondering about justice.
What a dumb ass
Shooting up a grocery store
Do I have to expect more?
I’m feeling stuck
Emotions are amok
What the fuck
Is going on?
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As an environmentalist working in oil and gas companies for 13 years, I never felt like I fit in. I committed myself to helping the companies be better and do better for the environment, the employees, and the communities where they operated, and I actually accomplished this in many ways. The refreshing thing to me, and maybe surprising to others, is that the industry is filled with people who really care about the natural world and work hard to safely and responsibly produce the resource that the world depends so heavily on. The problem (one of many!) is the system under which this industry (and all publicly traded entities) exists is designed to make a profit over everything else. It became clear to me that the most important thing was returning shareholder value, which can be in direct conflict with environmental sustainability. At the same time, I saw the incredible efforts made to eliminate emissions and oil spills, save birds from harm, restore the land, build wildlife habitat, and charitably contribute to the community. Reflecting on these acts, I can see the strength and truth of the ecological ego and I also see the strength of the “compulsively ‘masculine’ character traits that permeate our structures of political power and which drive us to dominate nature as if it were an alien and rightless realm. In this regard, ecopsychology draws significantly on some (not all) of the insights of ecofeminism and Feminist Spirituality with a view to demystifying the sexual stereotypes.” (T. Roszak, Ecopsychology – The Principles) I think it’s the imbalance of this polarity, the masculine and feminine energies, that have created the deep disconnect between humans and the natural world.
I see this as a place where Ecopsychology and Coaching can come together; to bring healing into action. “Ecopsychology seeks to heal the more fundamental alienation between the person and the natural environment.” T. Roszak goes on to discuss the ecological unconscious and the awakening of the “animistic qualities of experience” that ecopsychology seeks to help people become conscious of. (T. Roszak Ecopsychology – The Principles) If we all can awaken to the ecological unconscious at the core of our mind and realize that all life is truly connected, I believe we will stop doing harm to ourselves, each other, all life forms, and the planet. This is my vision and hope for the world and this is where I’d like to focus my nature connected coaching path.
Stepping into the NCC, I felt inspired to bring nature connected coaching to my network of oil and gas leaders, policy makers, and field workers with the vision that helping them deepen their connection with themselves and the natural world, could lead to great healing and balance. I feel deeply called to help bring balance to our systems because with balance we can find health, vitality, cooperation, symbiosis, and environmental reciprocity. I want to help people grow, become better versions of themselves, become more conscious, and awaken to universal consciousness. I love the concepts presented by Linda Buzzell and Craig Chalquist in “Psyche and Nature in a Circle of Healing that, “Using nature as a mere tool for human healing perpetuates the very self-world splits responsible for both our ecologically resonant maladies and a deteriorating biosphere.” They go on to say that all beings on the planet have their own needs and freedoms to preserve, and by partnering with them, humans can reestablish a sense of belonging. Imagining a world where all beings feel like they belong and have mutual respect, reverence, and love for each other is a world where we find balance. This is how I see the principals of Ecopsychology adding foundation to my path as a nature connected coach.
As I continue my nature connected practices like visiting my sit spot daily, going on nature wanders, and tuning into my inner wilderness through the 7-breaths meditation, I’m finding more balance in myself. I’m also experiencing a slowing down and an increase in my sensory awareness. These practices are helping me awaken the ecological unconscious in my mind and see where I’m imbalanced. Ultimately, I think this will help me in cultivating the essential skill of deep listening. In Coaching Skills, Jenny Rogers writes (p. 39) that, “trusting your intuition” is essential in achieving Level 3 listening. This is critical in helping draw the deeper need out through the coaching process. I’m curious about the connection between the ecological unconscious and the deeper need. Are all deeper needs connected to the ecological unconscious? “If we have a connection with nature that expresses itself more authentically as love and loyalty than as guilt and fear, then freeing the ecological unconscious may be the key to sanity in our time.” (T. Roszak, A psyche as Big as the Earth)
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Hi Amanda! You provide such richness with your posts and I’m so thankful you give me so many things to think about and to respond to! I like the Marie Kondo analogy! It’s so true. I’ve noticed messiness and chaos in my own life since the last intensive and I like thinking of it in this way! I wonder what it’s like for you sitting with people in this discomfort and allowing and giving space for it? Based on my experience with you in the last fishbowl, you help the space for me to be uncomfortable and it helped me know that I will get through. Thank you!!!
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Suez! I love your vision. Your post screams inclusivity and wholistic healing wrapped in Love and support. I think you hit on something important and unique, and that is the integration / ongoing support for clients. This is such an important piece to create lasting change and you nailed it. As you continue to engage clients in accountability and integration, you will help transform so many lives. I’m wondering what specific nature connection practices you foresee using with clients to help facilitate transformation and healing?
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Finally getting around to Foundations 4 discussion with you, Amanda! I love reading your posts because they are so well thought out and authentic! Thank you for sharing yourself so fully with us!
So many things stood out to me, but the one I want to comment on the most is the concept that nature is everywhere and that you can help people (young adults) discover this for themselves. I can see you working with the 18-24 year olds, your playful spirit will be awesome for this age group (and anybody, really!). As you help people realize that nature is everywhere, gaining access to the calm, clarity, and peacefulness nature provides will be a huge asset to your clients!
You go sister!!!
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I like your association of the threshold with embodiment. Something occurred to me while reading your post about the gift that we can give to clients. If a client is typically shy about roaring like a lion, but feels called to do so, and can courageously step into that with the guides help, and obtain the release needed to be fully in her body, this is so empowering. Also, being witnessed by the guide in this empowerment can even further build confidence for the client to be able to do it again if/when needed. Thank you so much for sharing those experiences! I also really appreciate you naming trust as a critical competency for effective threshold experiences. In order for me to step into a new way of being, I have to have complete trust that the guide can hold me and that requires a lot of trust.
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I’m struck by the observations you had about the obvious effects the nature connection practices had on each of us as we interacted with each other. Hearing this further drives the importance of these practices in my daily life as a tool to help me be the coach I want to be. Thank you for the reminder and the clarity that our clients will benefit from our own commitment to nature connected practice.
You also mentioned the whispers from your vision council to “Love Myself.” I’m finding that my deeper need often points to self love in some capacity. I’m wondering if you’ve had any successes you would want to share about how you have increased love for yourself? I’m actively searching for tools to help with this.
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Hi Amanda! Better late than never!? 🙂 I love the personal nature of your posts. Thank you for sharing your three threshold experiences with us and capturing them so fully! I imagine you might answer your own question that you posed at the end of your post in a different way now that we’ve been through 2 intensives? I appreciate the question because it gives me the opportunity to ponder….Here’s my attempt to define a threshold experience based on my own experiences.
A threshold experience is one that has potential to facilitate great transformation. It offers the participant the opportunity to step into the unknown and experience a new way of being that their soul longs to be.
And, YES! I believe you can absolutely facilitate one for yourself.
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Rachel, I experience such richness in your posts and this brought up so much for me. Thank you 🙂 I love your inquiry, What would the world look like if more people connected to their souls? I feel like this is how we, as nature connected coaches, can contribute to collective healing in the world. It’s so inspiring to ponder! Another thing that resonated with me in your post is your personal connection to nature and where you feel it most. I went around and around trying to decide where my sit spot would be. I live in a small mountain town surrounded by ponderosa pine forest, and wanted my sit spot to be in ‘wild nature’ too because it feels so good! Then I realized that the ease of having my sit spot in my yard would help me more consistently maintain the habit of going there. I remember Michael talking about that feeling you get when being in nature for several days, that calm and slow pace of nature that can be so grounding and healing. And he talked about the nature connection practices being essential to us getting into that place. I’m curious if over time we will be able to more easily access that place from where ever we are? I wonder if it’s like training the brain to be grateful; training the brain to be more nature connected?
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Sue, I love the insight and wisdom you pulled from the readings that the discord and the divisiveness that the planet is experiencing and the inner turmoil, discord and discontentment we are experiencing as human inhabitants of said planet stems from the impact of the GREAT DISCONNECT. I also see such power in helping repair this disconnect through working with clients to heal. Your point about meeting clients where they are and not having one formula is also really potent. As we deepen our relationship to nature I wonder if it’ll become harder to relate to people who are really disconnected? I want to be aware of this for myself, because these are exactly the people who can benefit most from this work.
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Amanda, thank you for sharing yourself so authentically! I was also raised Catholic and always felt deeply troubled by the lack of women on the alter! My Mom reminded me the other day of a story. As a young girl in church one day I asked my Mom, “Why aren’t there any girls on the alter?”. She said, “because they aren’t allowed (this was before girls could be ‘alter servers’). I said, “Well, I want to be Pope someday.” Instead, I turned away from all organized religion and found my God in nature. I love your observation about people walking around without anchors and that maybe an awakening to nature can give people the anchor they need to feel connected to something bigger than themselves. This resonates so deeply with me and motivates me to continue my own nature connected practices.