mariarosagalter
Forum Replies Created
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Hi Questers,
I am Maria and have met many of you through EBI in other forums. I just graduated from Cohort 19 and I am now a student mentor, mentoring Cohort 23. EBI continues to be full of expansive and joyful moments for me! Quest is certainly a big part of my future journey and I’m excited to experience this next moment with all of you. I feel myself now turning inward as time moves me towards Quest. How interesting that Gunnison is located south and west of my Pine Junction, where I live. A curious place of resting after preparation while contemplating the movement to the West and North, to our Quest location, mirroring the inward journey of what Quest can be. Hmm…..
As far as travel, as I mentioned, I live in Pine Junction, about 45 west of Denver along Hwy 285 and about 1.5 hours from the airport. I’m available to share the drive with one other person and could host someone for the night prior and after (though we are in the middle of a kitchen remodel so the house is a mess!). Since I’m so far from the airport, an airport transfer would be difficult but if you can get to the Golden or Englewood RTD Stations by public transport, I can pick up from there. Feel free to give me a call at 720-810-2837 if you’d like to explore this! Here is info on public transport from the airport: https://www.rtd-denver.com/services/airport
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Summary Post:
I continue to be fascinated by partswork and agree with so much of what has been said in this discussion. To me, partswork is an important pathway for radical self-acceptance and self-compassion. Sometimes I feel that my “hammer” is radical self-compassion and everyone’s “nails” are lack of self-acceptance and self-love. It may be a bit of violent metaphor but I feel like that’s the point I always seem to want to drive home. I know how important radical self-acceptance has been for me on my path to continued growth to Wholeness. It’s a long-term process. When I look at someone, all I see are their gifts and beauty. Partswork offers a way for clients to discover for themselves their own strenth, resiliency, beauty, treasure, and gifts that may be hidden in the shadows of self-rejection, self-doubt and self-criticism. These inner critics or “loyal soldiers” loom so large in our life. When we hold ourselves with compassion loving our wounded and protective parts, we expand beyond our perceived capacity and in so doing, we create space for the woundedness of others. Our Souls are identified, retrieved, felt, and nurtured. Our Soul becomes the new lens through which we see all of our Selves, others, and all the “more than human” entities in our greater community. It seems that the practice of dropping into Soul is a lost art and our society/culture interjects messages within us that do nothing but confirm our unworthiness, our lack of belonging, our fears, and our mistrust. We forget that we are “beloved” and fully belong to the interconnected Universe of Being.
Henri Nouwen, a mystic, writes Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved.” Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.
I’m excited to continue to explore my own parts and also as they relate to the 4 Shields. Bill Plotkin’s book, “Wild Mind” offers a “map of human nature” that layers the energies of directions, the seasons, archetypes, and partswork. It’s so cool. I am very drawn to this model and excited to explore what will come up as I travel down that road.
I think this toolbox has helped me identify that what I most want to do is to support someone’s transformational journey into radical self-Love through connection with the created world. As radical self-Love, we initiate our own concentric circles that radiate out from within us as we allow for the concentric circles of Love emanating from Nature to touch us too.
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Hi Leslie and David,
Great conversation going…. I think a key piece to a client being successful with their ow partswork is to spend time as a coach laying a strong and compassionate foundation with their Soul part. Once they know how to drop into their compassionate core, or Soul, they can hold space for their other parts with self-compassion and without judgement. As you say, David, the vulnerable time is between sessions. The client needs to have a strong understanding of the role of Soul as a place of non-judgement, radical self-acceptance, while being self-directive to the parts as well. My client described the Soul as the place on the top of the hill, where you have a clear view of everything and from where you can see where you need to go. He also described partswork as a way to “recenter”. It is scary to enter into that level of vulnerability and honesty and trust is key for partswork to be as authentic as possible. That’s why I think as a coach, it seems that really establishing and strengthening the place of Soul within the system is time well spent.
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@lesliewier
Thanks for your post and I’m glad you finally got it to work!!!! =)It seems you have clear self-awareness around what energizes you as a coach and that partswork is not something you want to offer right now in your coaching practice. I agree with you that partswork can be very client specific and issue specific. Like you said, “I think it’s important to choose tools and methodologies that fit the Strengths of a client, and so having a robust toolbox is important.” Not every client will resonate with partswork and being able to tune into what might resonate with a client is important. It’s like speaking the language of the client. We tune to the client’s words and worldview to orient us as we support them in their goals. It is their baseline we are tuning into. I’m curious to know what types of client goals you think partswork could support?
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@david.fontaine2
David, I agree that partswork could be very useful for your client, and like you, I am also curious about how she will respond to your “addict” part. Its great that she can name her behavior, has enough self-awareness to address this head on, and that she is in a program. Partswork could really strengthen her ability to be her own observer from the place of the compassionate Soul. It’s hard to work with parts we want to reject, so strengthening her capacity for self-compassion seems so important. I noticed she said “that she will probably go back to her old ways and ruin this because her addiction will take over”–I wonder how what she said struck you? What comes up for you? -
Summary Post:
I am very intriegued by the Four Shields model and just ordered the book! I look forward to diving in and using this framework in the future. I like that it has insight for both organizations and individuals. I’m leading a 1/2 day nature experience for an organization later in March and will incorporate this framework into our day. There is a lot of curiousity there for me.
While I have not created a long-term coaching plan yet, the Four Shields model has helped me understand where my clients are and how to support them as they move forward. For example, one of my clients seems to be in the South, in a very “child oriented” space–not accepting responsibility, disorganized, lack of self-discipline, etc. To support her moving forward into the West, we are practicing self-reflection and creating opportunities for experimentation, learning, leaning into physical sensations/embodiment, curiosity, exploration, etc.
As I reflect on these long-term coaching models and what brings me joy, I realize that I want to incorporate PLAY into my guiding. I really sense the Spirit continually inviting us to PLAY in Creatio and experience joy in that Divine connection. I’ve made changes to my website to reflect that deep internal longing within me.
Lastly, I love this quote as a “north star” to guide my work any long-term coaching plan that I create:
The Master once referred to the Hindu notion that all creation is “leela”— God’s play—and the universe is his playground. The aim of spirituality, he claimed, is to make all life play.This seemed too frivolous for a puritanical visitor. “Is there no room then for work?”“Of course there is. But work becomes spiritual only when it is transformed into play.”–Anthony de Mello
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@gmlobito1
Hi Gina, Thanks so much for your feedback. It is beautiful and exciting to see when things “click” for another person. The fact that the clinet did not “feel alone” was so powerful since he has been strugging with loneliness during COVID. As he moves to know himself and his parts, he begins to create his own soul-guided “playbook”. It really is a joy to support him as he does this. =)
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@david.fontaine2
You are so sweet!!!!! Right back at ya, friend!
Thanks for your insight. I think we have been skirting around the deeper need…. my guess is that her deeper need is to resolve the internal conflict between the part in herself that wants to be organized (and is this an introjected belief?) and the part of herself that feels organizing is overwhelming and too hard (and where is this self-belief coming from?) and accept herself, just as she is, without shame. It could be that her feelings of shame are paralyzing her, so she keeps herself in the state of overwhelm focused on her objections as a way of taking care of herself. How are the objections a way of protecting herself? If she focuses on her objections, she does not have to deal with her own self-judgement or introjected and maybe painful beliefs around self-worth, attachments, and sense of security.
Thanks for asking the question….. answering it gave me some clarity on how her objections might be a way of self-protection…. the vulnerability of sorting through her objects might be so painfully difficult for her that running from her emotions is the best she can do right now. It is self-protective…..
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@Leslie
Like Gina’s comment, I also appreciate how you tailor your approach to your client’s needs, interests, and goals. You match your “language to their language” by offering a way forward that adapts to their style. Seeing them as the whole person, you are able to offer them a path that will likely meet less resistance since it is presented in a framework that they are intuitively comfortable with. This is another way of deep listening and reflecting back using the client’s own worldview.
I also see in your reflection that you were also able to adapt to uncertainty. You said, “It was at that point that I recalled in class Michael mentioning that it can take several sessions to really discover the true deeper need and then determine how long it could take to meet that need.” What nudged you internally to take that pause?
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Thanks for the reminder, Hannah!
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Looking forward to meeting you, Stuart! So glad you are coming on Quest!
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@lesliewier
Thanks for your observations in your reply, Leslie. I really appreciate the different styles of coaching and how they might resonate for us. Your post helped me to have clarity on what resonates more for me and when an client might need transitional vs transformational coaching. Like you noted, I tend more towards the transformational, and would like to be available to support someone if they are looking for transitional coaching as well. Thanks for pointing this out!!!!
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@gmlobito1
Gina, I love how you used humor in your session with your client! I can just see the part that makes list making lists for the list maker part…. ha ha! It seems that your client feels disorganized even while being so organized and she spins in her overwhelm and maybe overcommitment (?). Through your guiding you opportunities for her to become more grounded, more in the body, and she was able to pause and breathe. I can feel that in my body myself as I connect with your guiding session. Through your guidance, she was able to move out of her limbic system response to her PFC, where she could experience more tranquility and clarity. Maybe her world stopped spinning for a little while. I wonder where you see her in the Four Shields model?
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@david.fontaine2
David, I sense in your response your own self-awareness and concern for your client. You are in touch with how her addiction might ripple through the guiding work you will be doing together. Your ability to set boundaries, stay “unattached” to her addiction, and be in touch with and work through what comes up for you is so important. How you show up as a guide, or your “coaching mindset” will guide you to what is best for your client. She seems to have a lot of self-awareness also and glad she has a therapist to support her as well.
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@lesliewier
Hi Leslie, I agree with you. I think working on the foundation of self-acceptance/self-love is the first step–this is the strengthening of the Soul part in us. So for me, it seems that the first step in partswork is to give space for Soul to be fully embodied/perceived. As guides, we can step into the role of Soul for the client as the client strengthens their own capacity to hold this space for themselves. We model “Soul” for the client until they can fully exerience their Soul space.