Sara Brells
Forum Replies Created
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I find it ironic that I procrastinated returning to the Gestalt toolbox until my very last assignment, and yet, in reviewing the content I recognize the myriad of ways not only that many of my instincts as a coach could be described in gestalt terms, but also how its interwoven with all the rest of our toolboxes. It seems I, myself, needed more awareness of my own coaching presence and “tools” to fully drop back into comprehending gestalt.
Partswork & Gestalt: The introduction excerpt from Yantaf sums up the connection between Gestalt and Partswork with the cake simile: “encouraging patients to reown the parts of themselves that they have considered noxious or otherwise unacceptable: although the oil, or flour, or baking powder by themselves can be distasteful, they are indispensable to the success of the whole cake.” What I understand and love about partswork is the power it holds to guide an individual into radical awareness and expression of their authentic self. Gestalt therapy is also about authenticity and congruency through letting ourselves complete cycles of experience & fully experience satisfaction, something that is often stamped out by US culture. I sense a relationship here between the multiplicity celebration that is partswork, and the socialization most people experience that results in suppression of parts.
I also was intrigued by the definition of phenomenology: “…a discipline that helps people stand aside from their usual way of thinking so that they can tell the difference between what is actually being perceived and felt in the current situation and what is residue from the past (Idhe, 1977). This reminds me of our work with loyal soldiers and and partswork healing…and of course, coaching in general: stepping out of the story into more neutral territory, where we can activate our PFC and take ownership of what still serves us while letting go of that which we no longer need or was never ours. I also appreciate the notion of showing up as my full and true self in session, and the recognition of how our dynamic impacts the environment, thus influencing what is experienced in the here & now. This reminds me of how parts can be activated by the environmental/external circumstances, and react differently. This aspect of gestalt thus highlights the criticality of my awareness oh how my client and I are in contact with one another and the environment.
Coaching ceremony, Brain & Change:
I also now better understand the parallels between the premise of coaching and Gestalt. In Gestalt, “The goal is for clients to become aware of what they are doing, how they are doing it, and how they can change themselves, and at the same time, to learn to accept and value themselves.” I would say the same about coaching! Coaching is grounded in the belief that clients can and need to find the solutions and answers within themselves. It is similar to my teaching philosophy: students will experience much deeper learning and knowledge acquisition if they discover and conclude on their own, as opposed to just being told by the teacher. I love how the article commented that we “guide active awareness work.” I cannot think of a better way to describe in simple terms what we do. Whether it be the Stages of Change, somatic and resourcing practices, accepting that grief is a process we need to live into when its present, it all begins with awareness that we facilitate through our ceremony structure. “By becoming aware, one becomes able to choose and/or organize one’s own existence in a meaningful manner (Jacobs, 1978; Yontef, 1982, 1983).” To me, this is a nod to all we’ve learned about neuroplasticity and how putting attention on intention will begin to build those new neuropathways that will support how the existence the client wants to create. Lastly, I appreciate how gestalt encourages “allowing contact to happen rather than manipulating, making contact, and controlling the outcome.” In coaching, the client controls the outcome. By staying acutely attuned with the client and all that is present in the session, we get to facilitate that journey.
These are just a few of my takeaways for how gestalt and nature-connected coaching interface. While I have not sat down to a session and specifically thought, “This is going to be a gestalt session,” I see now all the ways in which I incorporate principles of gestalt into all my coaching sessions: Keeping us in the here & now through somatic awareness exercises and questioning; Partswork; attunement to breaks in contact; naming what I notice in the client (“I notice when I ask you what that feels like in your body, you don’t you any sensory words” – this was in a recent session). I would like to try an intentionally focused Gestalt session in which I let go of the ceremony structure a bit more and follow figure. I have a client in mind who I think would open to this experiment. Our sessions often feel all over the place because she has so much intensity going on internally and externally (gotta love my fellow Scorpio sisters)…I’m curious how following figure may actually help us go deeper to a root pattern that we haven’t yet landed on.
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F2 Summary Post
In reflecting on the rich discussion in this module and how it connects with the ceremony and severance focus of the in-person portion of Fondation 2, I notice something that is very important to me: I believe deeply in the criticality of regenerating human’s relationship with the natural world. And I see nature-connected coaching as a means to this important work – whether that is what clients initially come to me seeking or not, I want to weave in and promote this re-membering (in the truest meaning of the word) with the psyche’s bond “to the Earth that mothered us into existence.” I do really agree that there is “an inner deadening, an increasingly deployed defense against the stresses of living in an overbuilt industrialized society saturated by intrusive advertising and media, unregulated toxic chemicals, unhealthy food, parasitic business practices, time stressed living, a heart-warping culture of perpetual war and relentlessly mindless political propaganda.” And I also know deeply that there is a more soulful, joyful, connected way to live, and I want to guide people toward that way of walking on Mother Earth. Not because She needs “saved” by us (as John pointed out, Earth has done just fine without us for over 4.5999995 billion years!), but because life is beautiful, and I want so deeply for future generations to experience right relationship with one another and Mother Earth.
And I see more and more clearly how the Severance phase of the Coaching Ceremony relates directly with this. It encourages a literal severing from the old, disconnected way of being. We can guide clients simultaneously into deeper connection with nature and with their inner knowing, because they are intrinsically linked. Severance is essentially guiding the client toward their empowered creation of the new story they want to step into; a new way of being. The question I am carrying with me from this module is an exploration of my own directiveness in bringing nature connection into the client’s story and process.
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Summary Post
In reviewing my notes from Foundations 4 in Gunnison, I’m recognizing this portion of the Coaching Ceremony is an area I would like to grow stronger in. Sure, I can guide a client through the SMART goals process at the end of the session. But the art and science of facilitating an experience with high threshold energy that fuels creative ideas and solutions, guiding back into a meaningful planning stage connected to new beliefs and images of ideal self? Yea, I haven’t done that yet with a practice client. And that’s ok – like others of you have said, this process is messy and imperfect and beautiful just as it is. AND, I want to dig into this portion of the ceremony, because it just might be the most impactful part, and it is definitely a unique part to NCC – weaving together the threshold with actionable changes. I would like to begin by revisiting the recordings from those days of the Foundations training. Anyone else want to join me? 😉
In the meantime, I’m going to use this forum to try to summarize and make sense of my notes for each of the stages of incorporation.
Integration
A successful threshold experience will generate a lot of energy in the client, which as the guide is important for us not only to be aware of, but also to elevate our own baseline with them. This space fuels expansive thinking: creativity, solutions, and visions that may not otherwise break through the client’s typical Thinking Mind. While thoughts influence emotions, emotions drive thoughts: and that is where a powerful Threshold experience can press
STOP
On a looping record of thoughts influencing emotions that don’t serve the client.
Threshold can create NEW emotions,which then drivie NEW thoughts, that all lead to their ability to be a new way, to begin showing up as that Ideal Self.
During this stage, as the guide, I need to feel into what will benefit that particular client:
Movement
Quiet reflection
Guiding them inwards, “notice what that feels like in your body”
Create a mantra, Soul Image (Ideal Self), or affirmation that harnesses the energy and imagery of Threshold, something that anchors
Developing a “powerful question” to train their mind to focus on, a question that will support them in holding onto their vision and staying in alignment (Side note, I’d like more examples of what this sounds like…I have a note to myself, ‘Powerful questions are like what I ask my tarot deck’ – things like, “What energy do I need to harness to ________ today/this week/this month”)
Planning
This is the stage at which energy starts to settle back into a more logical, verbal place – a little closer to the day to day reality, the thinking mind kicking into gear. This is the time to debrief, stitching what they learned and experienced in Threshold to their deeper need and desired outcomes for the session, and begin to turn them into tangible goals. This is also the time to support and encourage their belief in self, their belief in their ability to achieve their vision – and this is when their “WHY” comes into the picture. What are their goals, and why those goals? How are those things moving them closer to their vision? What would happen if they didn’t do it? A clearly defined “why” is what will keep clients motivated between sessions: anchoring into what they are moving towards (embodied in threshold), what would happen if no change occurred, and how these changes are moving them toward that vision.
While as the coach we may share ideas or suggestions, this part must come from the client – if they feel told to do it, it most likely wont happen. We can support chunking large goals into milestone to celebrate, bringing in SMART and backwards design (my teacher part) to determine realistic steps that close the gap between who they are and who they want to be. Their incorporation needs to exist in the stretch zone, and we can guide this with challenging questions, like, “How will you practice [this way of being] at home? “What are you up against?” And guiding them to tie an expansive emotion to their goal, the feeling they want – because whatever they end up doing, how they are being while doing it is what matters.
Accountability
One note that feels important to highlight is a note to self about destigmatizing “relapse.” We will snap back into old ways of being multiple times as we work to forge new pathways. I experience it almost daily. And that is OK. In each snap back are learnings, and as the coach, we can guide the client through navigating those messages and adjusting for the next step forward.
Returning to the original prompt for this module, this question has stuck with me: How would you like to collaborate with nature to support their awareness and success? Recently while wandering the neighborhood with my dog, something stood out to me: I do want a part of my coaching style to focus explicitly on supporting the client in developing a deeper, authentic relationship with the natural world. Not just with Nature as a co-guide, but also as a focus of sessions. Both because I believe that slowing down to the pace of Nature allows clients to drop in and listen to their inner knowing, and because my Activist part firmly believes that remembering our inherent connection with the natural world is a radical way of living on earth, and is the way we need to be to cultivate positive social change.
So a little piece of clarity around my ideal client: women who are seeking to deepen their connection with the natural world, both explicitly and implicitly through the ceremony.
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Foundations 3 Summary Post
I read back through what everyone wrote on here, as well as my notes from Foundations and the succession of webinars following our in-person Foundations, and wrote down all the nuggets that stood out to me. I’m going to try to incorporate them all here, so you may “hear” some of your own words and wisdom here – thank you!
First and foremost, the Threshold experience stands out to me as the thing that makes nature-connected coaching unique in two distinct ways: The opportunity to experience in advance the way you need to show up in life and the opportunity to slow down to the pace of nature as a doorway to your true inner knowing. A line from Daniel stands out to me here: “To create something new, you must do something you’ve never done before and be someone you’ve never been before.” The threshold experience provides us and our clients with an experience that anchors us into that way of being before ever going out into the “real world” with it.
Before Threshold
Now that I have a little bit of experience coaching practice clients who came into the experience knowing nothing about coaching nor nature-connected coaching, I am reflecting on how to set them up for success in the threshold part of the ceremony. Although we haven’t talked about this to my recollection, I am finding it important to preface the coaching session with some information around what it might look like, and to plant a seed for the threshold/experiementaion part of the ceremony It reminds me of Coyote Mentoring: give them just enough that they are prepared to go off and explore what it really means on their own, then afterwards we will debrief it. It is powerful and necessary for the client to “guide” the session by supporting them in creatively designing the threshold they need, and to do this, I notice they need to know at least a bit about the idea of threshold. I’m exploring what that might look and sound like, and how to offer suggestions or nature-connected guidance through their journey while remaining client-led.
Another thing that strikes me is the importance of building a container for their experience so that they feel empowered and supported by my presence to drop into the magical realm of the threshold, to let go of their thinking mind and let themselves exist in the alpha stage where they can tap into the visceral knowing that nature brings up. I know our brain kicks into gear to protect us from the scary unknown attached to surrendering the old self, and that is why the container and “work-up” to the point of threshold is so critical. The rapport, relationship and trust we build will determine if they are comfortable letting themselves drop into threshold. <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>And this is why it is so critical we are attuned to their baseline – we need to express energy that is a bit higher than the client’s to keep them focused, which means noticing where they’re at, elevating my baseline a bit and guiding them across the threshold from that place. Our role is to support the client in shifting from a thinking state to a feeling state, and name it when we notice their mind tries to back them out of the experience because of fear! I also wonder if sometimes it takes a few sessions with a new client to get to a truly transformative threshold, or a threshold at all!
Identifying the deeper need is critical to all this. It can come through as words, feelings, images …as the coach, I need to be tuned into the non-verbal signs, the body language, the shifts in energy, and the mindsets and beliefs presenting. Some important notes on this:
Remember that the want is an arrow pointing at the real issue, deeper issue
Get curious about core beliefs, who they believe themselves to be, and who they need to be
Severing from old, stepping into the new
Could have a threshold IN severance – be creative and flexible, ceremony structure doesn’t need to be rigid…different types of threshold and paces…
If the client is not yet sure or cannot yet describe or name the deeper need, we can turn toward nature: finding imagery, metaphor, symbolism, or a mirror and then move them through the sacred Qs. I’m still working on being comfortable with a fluid ceremony structure and remembering we may spend the whole session in Severence. I find this table from our book helpful:
TYPES OF THRESHOLD
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Not yet sure about true want/need? Get moving, get into nature, out of head and into sensory experience
The want and deeper need are forming, and not yet solid: experiment with that deeper need, that way of being, then use sacred Qs to process if it felt right, if something is missing, etc.
Solid deeper need? Threshold experience that activates that, that provides an anchoring experience that can carry forward with them as they create something new in their lives
During Threshold
“Threshold is conscious experimentation in becoming this new version of yourself.” Clients need to know this, and it is important to challenge them to embody that new way of being in the threshold once the deeper need has been named. And to remind them of what might come when they let themselves drop in: “a palpable connection, a tangible transfer of information, or knowledge—even wisdom—that takes place within us when we are so deeply immersed in Nature.” (I love that phrasing!)
My role now as a coach and guide through that experience needs to be grounded in my own nature-connection so that I can tune into the energy around us and in my client. I need to simultaneously be attuned to safety and their stretch zone, to their baseline and that of the environment’s, to how the energy and emotions shifts through the experience, to the feelings of fear and apprehension of the unknown that arise.
After Threshold
The sacred questions are a powerful tool following threshold to support the client in debriefing what arose. Asking, “How does this translate into the vision for your life that we’re creating here?” may guide them toward solid integration and slowly leaving the magical realm and processing how to incorporate this new way of being into their day to day life. And even if it is a flat outcome, we can use the sacred Qs, retrace their steps, and get curious about deeper need! Any outcome provides information, and it is important to remember it is in the client’s hands – we can guide them to meaning making, but only they know the true meaning. And it may take time – much of the power and shifting happens outside of the session.
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Its been a struggle for me so far to really drop into a dreamy imagining of ideal client. I pop back up into my practical, analytical mind often, where that part of me (parts are truly everywhere now!) is quick to analyze what is “feasible,” which potential clients actually have money for coaching, and what is the most impactful.
This is me exploring how nature-connected coaching might fit into the fabric of social justice efforts, a lifelong passion and important part of my identity. It is what led me to education, and I still believe education is my niche in social change. How might that merge with coaching?
So at first, the ideal client popping up are young parents who are committed to raising their children outside the status quo paradigm, and who are figuring out what that looks like for them. As someone drawn to the potential power of positive social change through work with youth, my analytical mind determined that working with adults who influence youth holds great potential for positive social impact. The Coyote Guide book discusses the importance of modeling, and parents/guardians & teachers tend to be adults youth spend the most time around and are shaped by. By parents transforming the way they show up in the world in relationship with nature, there may be more hope for young generations to grow up with deeper connection to the natural world. I personally believe a nature-connected youth is critical for the health of both Mother Earth and any hope for sustaining human life on this incredible planet.
But who am I to coach parents when I myself am not a parent? Why not coach youth directly? Is that a thing? Could I make it a thing? Would I make any money coaching kids?
And so then I begin to think about teachers – the other group of adults who greatly shape the identity and mindsets of youth. As a former teacher, that probably makes more sense. But as a former teacher, I recognize how broke most teachers are and how little time we typically have for eating and sleeping, let alone coaching. Hmmmm…maybe I should go back to the idea of working with families; urban families who recognize something is missing in their life, and who have jobs that afford them access to coaching…
That is the vicious cycle in my head when ideal client comes up.
I have been able to drop in more dreamily occasionally, and when I have, here is what comes up:
HORSES ~ Horses played an incredibly healing role in my life as a child. They are intuits, mirrors for how we are showing up in the world, and bring me SO much joy. I want to share that with clients. So whoever that ideal client is, horses are another collaborator…
Young women ~ around the 18 – 22 age group, young women who see themselves as changemakers and are trying to figure out what that means in their life as they challenge the introjects of society.
Womxn identifying in general ~ I do not see myself working with men
Racial justice ~ working with folx who are oriented to racial justice, who have been and want to continue doing the hard work of unpacking and healing their own biases, privileges, and/or both lived and generational oppression. I don’t necessarily see myself facilitating this as a core part of coaching, but in working with the WHOLE client, it is important to me that it is present
Co-housing ~ I’ve been fascinated by this movement and idea for a couple of years now and have had some visions of working with newly forming co-housing communities, and/or starting my own
Writing ~ Writing both creatively and through journaling has been an incredibly healing part of my life. I see myself leading workshops that incorporate nature-connection and writing. Still not sure who with…but putting it out there
To try to merge some of the ideas that have grown out of the more dreamy state with my more practical mind, here are some of the people/organizations I found online:
Women’s Empowerment Workshop (http://www.womenempower.us/) – This is actually run by a woman who was in a very early NCC cohort. When I first came across her organization earlier this year, I was blown away – she is doing so much of what I would love to do…running workshops, one-on-one coaching, working with youth and women.
Horse Guided Empowerment (https://christinamarz.com/)- A dear friend of mine recently completed the facilitator certification course with this program, which feels like a beautiful fabric woven of three passions of mine : horses, coaching, and Ecuador (the program is based out of Ecuador). In a description of the work they do, the founder says: “Horses communicate through emotions and they are constantly scanning their environment for an energetic change. As social animals, they need authentic, congruent and predictable behavior in order to maintain harmony and safety in their herd..the horses will reflect your emotions and serve as a canvas for hidden thoughts, patterns or early affirmations. They do not judge or manipulate us, and they can not be fooled by our masks as they react to the feelings behind our actions.” In this sense, horses are a collaborator in the coaching session in the way that nature is – they are the nature, and the experience with them is the threshold experience.
Sage Family (https://sagefamily.com/shop)- I stumbled across this page by googling “kids nature coaching.” It is actually a woman in the PNW who is a mother and offers various coaching packages, including a parenting package and a homeschooling package. I hadn’t considered homeschooling coaching before – I noticed excitement in my body when I saw that. I was homeschooled through middle school in a very “unschooling” fashion, and I LOVED it. I could see that as a potential ideal client for myself ~ working with a family who wants to unschool. This site offers a helpful model for business and marketing, for when I get to that point. I also notice that her coaching packages are very formulaic. She has set steps to work through, which sounds to me more like mentoring than client-led coaching. Some of the main points of the parenting package stand out to me though: the importance of environment, routine, and making space for big feelings were pillars of focus in my work in early childhood. Hmmm…
The Nature in You (https://www.thenatureinyou.com/bookings-checkout/soulful-mentorship?referral=service_list_widget) – This woman’s business popped up in my Googling as well. This particular package (linked) is an inspiring example of her bringing together her experiences and strengths into a supportive package for the client. I appreciate that she calls it mentoring, because again, it sounds less client-led than coaching. What called to me were a couple of lines in her description of this package: “This package is specifically meant for those who are not just ready to feel better but to BE better.” and “…a deep journey to experience and actively use successful tools to find centeredness, wholeness, and connection. If you are experiencing overwhelm, anxiety, depression or a general sense of disconnectedness, this experience is for you. Throughout this experience, you will be lovingly guided to connect with the most powerful, wise and soulful version of yourself.” This resonates.
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</div>I will come back to this forum when I have more clarity around ideal client to respond to the rest of the prompt. For now, a common thread I notice is a desire to work with people who want to experience deeper connection: connection with themselves, with the natural world, and with their families. “Empowerment” was literally a word that kept coming up even though I wasn’t entering it into the search bar. I notice I have some sense of how I want to work with clients and some characteristics of clients, but I need to continue digging deeper into that question of, “What is the population that most excites you, and why?”
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Hi Josh! You and me both, when it comes to wrapping my mind around Gestalt…the thought that kept popping into my head during that intensive when we were sent off to practice was, “But what are we practicing?!” In hindsight, I can see how that was my own reaction to a recurring introject that presents when I’m not understanding something.
Anyway, thank you for the way you broke down these key principles and concepts of Gestalt that we can (and do) weave into our NCC practices. I’m finding that Partswork 2 (which I believe is when you wrote this post?! 😉 ) is actually helping me better understand Gestalt, and I’d be curious to hear if you had new insights after that intensive as well…
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Cece~ thank you for the reminder of all the ways that Gestalt is present in what we’ve learned this year….it’s ok if I don’t yet fully understand what the “Gestalt process” means or am not able to clearly and quickly identify the cycle of experience and where a client is in it. I’m in my own process of learning, and there is much about guiding a client to exist in the present moment, and be in that moment with them, that is powerful and important. You know that’s hard for my perfectionist part… 😉 And its helpful to hear and notice from others, so thank you for your share!
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Wow, John – thank you for this thorough and thoughtful post. I literally took notes on what you wrote! I stepped away from Gestalt study for many months, as I didn’t understand it during the intensive, and my Learner part avoids topics that she is anxious she wont understand. Your post not only helped ease me back into Gestalt, it also highlighted for me the ways in which I practice some of these techniques intuitively, and also how much of what we’ve learned since that first intensive calls upon and interweaves with Gestalt approaches. Particularly the correlation you made between the Gestalt cycle of experience and our learned approach to incorporation and integration. I can also now see the Gestalt cycle within the approach to Parts healing we learned at our last intensive. What a a beautiful, full-circle return! Again, thank you for breaking it down in these terms – I feel more open to tackling this module now. 😉
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Ah, Lindsay! This sounds so you. I see how you are weaving your unique passions, experiences and skillsets into the ceremony of nature-connected coaching. It is so exciting and inspiring to hear how this is unfolding for each individual, as I get to know each of you better, and see the ways it aligns with who you are at your core. What a difference already from how we all showed up at Foundations, unsure of how to make this “our own!” I look forward to hearing more about your experiences and vision next week when we are back in-person. 🙂
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Hi Hannah,
I appreciate how you’re imagining the ways you could weave together the various skillsets you have to offer. I foresee some powerful offerings in the way of packages that support youth holistically in their transition to adulthood! In reading your post, it also made me think of this organization you might be curious about…
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Thanks for sharing your journey and thought process here, Joy! I love that you’re leaning into this pull toward the freedom & travel coaching niche – particularly because I could see clients coming to you because you’ve experienced and created this for yourself. You have a unique set of offerings and experiences to guide your work, and this will resonate with clients inspired by you. And this doesn’t mean the trifecta wont happen someday – I even wonder how it might fit into your travel coaching niche? For some clients craving freedom, there may be a deeply subconscious block around something like scarcity (*coughmecough*) holding them back that could benefit from moving through the subconscious, to energy work, to forward motion coaching…
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Thank you, Hannah! I definitely feel some parallels in our interests with coaching 🙂 And I’d love to hear more about your experience and noticings with co-housing sometime!
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Thank you, Lindsay! It is affirming to hear that you notice the throughlines, as I still feel a bit all over the place with this…I’m trying to just trust the feeling of vision and that how it all fits together will reveal itself along the way. I’m excited to learn more about your journey with this too!
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Joy – thanks for pointing that out! Challenging my competing commitments/mindset, how coach-y of you. 😉 I’ll reflect on this more, thank you…
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I totally agree, John – it feels as if the most important part of our role in this collaborative journey is building a relationship with the client and facilitating a space in which they can drop out of their head, into their heart, and move through nature with a mindset open to her wisdom. And while I’m getting more comfortable doing this with y’all at intensives, I am realizing how different and more challenging that will be with “real” clients who maybe do not have this foundational understanding that we’re all bringing into the sessions! I look forward to all of us sharing about those experiences more as we get to working with practice clients soon…