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Brain and Change 1 Discussion (July 2020)
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James, Thanks for your post. I read it last week but was out backpacking and could not respond. Wow, what a sacred space you and your client are working in. I can imagine how beautifully you support her as she moves forward in her holy quest. How lovely to shift from a goal oriented mindset to the spaciousness you offered her at the end of your session–“Instead of ending a powerful session with goals, benchmarks, targets, etc., I can now continue to hold the sacredness of the session through the ritual creation and to the end.” I am curious if your internal shift affected your client? What happened? What did you notice?
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Hi Gina,
It seems that you had a very satisfying session with your client–and how patient you need to be with her right now. You gave her some great tools for her to become aware of her own internal experience while detaching herself from the triggers. What a powerful self-realization she came to “she’s recognizing how much tension she has in her body, particularly when she wants to be right, or disagree with someone.” Big stuff! Your own self-observation “While I recognize I could be discussing more about the process of change, and Neuro networking, and perhaps even addressing the question of what control brings the client. I am simply just meeting the client right where she is, and she even stated, she felt good and want to continue the journaling for now and pay attention to her body and how it feels when she is triggered.” feels generous and spacious–allowing the client to have their experience and holding space for them as they work through what they need to work through and giving them the space to connect with their own wisdom. So powerful, my friend! Thank you so much for sharing. This is what we are all trying to learn. I am curious about what connections you see between her growing body awareness and her path to greater self-awareness? How did you know that body awareness is what she needed to practice?
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Gina, Thanks for the question you posed! Some challenges that come up for me in using the new concepts stem from lack of confidence (a LOT to read in one sitting!) and so much information to hold. I look forward to going back through the reading materials in more detail. I’m also thinking of creating a little one pager for clients that explains both neuroplasticity and brain function and change theory. I am finding a high level of interest in current clients and prospective clients when I mention our brain’s amazing ability to heal. It offers hope.
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Hi Friends, I’d love your feedback on this infographic I created today. It was a really helpful way to review and consolidate the information on the brain. I’m thinking I’ll make one on the change process as well. Here is the link to the document: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cT5jtn16QMQckbh_ggrz9atI6bxK4MxB/view?usp=sharing
Maria
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@ Maria, Thanks for these thoughtful questions: “I am curious about what connections you see between her growing body awareness and her path to greater self-awareness? How did you know that body awareness is what she needed to practice?
1. Maria, the body holds information, and it’s often ignored by most people, the more anyone learns how to understand the language of their body and the ability to recognize and honor what the body is telling them it allows for their own facilitation of healing process, in whatever way that looks like for the individual. This particular client, after putting suggested exercises into practice, that focused on breathing, pausing and noticing what was occurring in her body when she felt tension, and what emotions might have come. She expressed she felt anger and resentment, but also practicing not reacting from these space of these emotions, taking a pause and a breath, she was able to allow the energy of the emotion to pass, and have more of a response to what was in front of her. She also noticed a change in those around her, as she made small changes to her own behavior, simply by breathing, pausing, placing her hand over her heart and telling her body “thank you for the information.”… The body awareness is brings many levels of awareness. One of those things is the client learning how to “go inward.” The more she learns to go inward and seek her own answers from the heart, which in this case, we are beginning with the physical body, the more her self awareness will grow. I know with the stage she is currently in, mostly pre-contemplation and has much resistance to change, though she desires peach and Harmony within, as the potential to be a challenging process for her.
2. I listened and observed her body as well as where my body felt the energy running through it. When she speaks, it’s fast paced, shallow breaths, it’s like her mind is always 10, 20, 20 steps ahead.Part of that is what she does for a living and her natural personality When she arrived she was not fully present, parts of her were at “work” or in other “conversations”. All her energy was held in her upper chest, and limited movement from the diaphragm. And she’s very cerebral. Her mind is in a constant state of multi-tasking. When we multi-task we are not fully present. Brining in exercises to support body awareness supports single pointed focus, practicing exercise, also allowed the energy to moving down her body and become more grounded and present in her body, the moment, and in our session.
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Summary Post:
One of the big things I am taking away from this module is that the more I learn about the brain’s functioning and processes, the better I can show up for myself, for others and for clients. What we learned about brain science really stuck with me and has become a key component of my self-management. When we can manage ourselves well by having the awareness of some of the rabbit holes our brain can take us down, we can dismantle those tendencies at their core. This awareness allows me to be more present and connected to where my client is when we’re working together.
Another big take-away for me is that I feel a lot more comfortable sharing the knowledge about the brain…1) because I feel like I have a more solid understanding of it and, 2) by reading these posts shared by everyone, I can see the value and impact that knowledge sharing had in their sessions. Simply learning about the brain creates awareness and awareness leads to insight and better understanding of oneself. One of the most valuable pieces for me is the “Stages of Change”. Now that I know that change stems from this place of gradual awareness and movement from one stage to the next, I can make complete sense of why I have failed to see that change was necessary at certain times in my life and I can be more forgiving of myself when change didn’t come during the first attempt. I find myself applying this to other people’s stories that I have been a part of in my life and it all fits together like a puzzle for me now. I think about my Dad finally quitting smoking last year and how that presented in his behaviors at the time. He “went public” with his intention to quit and we know from Prochaska’s Encouraged: Changing For Good that this public declaration makes a commitment to change more powerful and is indicative of someone who is in Action Stage. From a coaching perspective, knowing the Stages of Change and being able to identify where a client currently is sets the stage for how we will work with them. We can construct a program for them that best promotes them moving into the next stage. Or it may lead to a decision to not work with them if where they are doesn’t fit into our style of coaching.
One thing I wish we had covered a little more is how to work with clients in the different stages, particularly pre-contemplation and contemplation. This will be a target for me to keep learning in my own time.
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Takeaway for Brain Change 1:
There was so much content covered during the Brain Change 1 intensive and readings its going to take some time to collate it all. Write now the biggest takeaways for me is recognizing what stage of change a client is in, the use of resourcing, and being able to weave in some basic concepts of the Neurology and the nervous system and how new patterns can be created. (Depends on the willingness and dedication to their process of change and to maintaining it).
I am beginning to gain an understanding of the language of science from a neurological perspective and the language of emotions and bridge them together to have a deeper understanding of what drives a persons behavior and how that behavior might be expressed. Being able to guide a client and bring awareness and understanding of what possibly drives behavior can support the client to have sustainable change. We need the external world to promote change/growth. It’s throught our experiences that change or habbits occur, potentially identity of the self. Reminds of Why God Wont Go Way, “All human babies are born with the neurological potential to form a self, but they do this through living and experiencing the world ad they grow older. The development of the self also requires the development of certain neural connections in the brain.” As I read this, it was a reminder that a person can recreate the self at consciously and subconsciously. Change is always occurring.
As a person continues to build awareness and put tools into practice it can support their personal experience with transformation and freedom of limitations. Build the tools and skill set to become the alchemist of their life and come to self mastery and unity with the inner (the self) and outer (earth) worlds, junction of these worlds meeting at the heart. Hopefully come to harmony. This reminds of me of how powerful Ritual is, not just to support change and creating a new neuro network or patterning, but also for the overall well being of the physical and mental body.
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Reflection:
I found this toolbox to be incredibly useful. It has opened a whole new way of looking at the intricacies of the human being. It has helped me personally as I reflect on what is happening to me internally, as one interconnected system. Sensory input is funneled through my thalamus to which my amygdala responds with an emotional reaction–what to do? Is there danger? Should I fight? Flee? Freeze? Go into a high Beta state? Quick! Hypothalamus, release the norepinephrine and the cortisol! We are in a life or death situation! Never mind that its just the low and loud rumble of a truck going under a bridge. It sure sounds like the growl of a predator! Or is this a pleasant, relaxing experience that puts me into an alpha state? What memories are being called upon by the hippocampus that might perpetuate a trauma response or send me into a relaxed, “I am safe” state? How powerful to know I can be my own “compassionate observer” and choose to activate present moment awareness and shift my state of being. I can reprogram my wiring, my thoughts and responses. I can record new memories over the old patterned firing and choose to go into the “high road circuit”, leaving the “low road circuit” for when I am really in a near-death situation.
This toolbox has given me a way to make meaning and create a new story about what is happening within me. I can marvel at how beautifully I am made…. I have a new vantage point from which to learn more about myself as I gain understanding on the flow of energy and information that sifts through my mind. I am an emergent being, able to create a new mythic image for myself. My brain’s ability to create new pathways, to activate change, allows me to see, hear, and integrate parts of myself that have important information to share and served me well when needed. Like the “loyal soldier”, I can thank these parts for their amazing service of keeping me safe and secure. I can welcome them home and let them know that they are valuable members of the system. An now they can rest.
As I move into a new “Ceremony of Self”, I can tune “my attention to my intention”, and activate my PFC through Nature-based and somatic Practices. I can invite creative juices (literally) to bathe my brain as I tune into the Earth’s natural Theta and Alpha frequencies for healing and alignment. I can enter into deep resonance with all Creation, remembering that I am Nature too. I can see and understand symbol and metaphor. My Soul speaks and gives me a vision of a third way–a new mythic story. With the power of ritual, I can sistematically connect my new mythic way of being to daily, repetitive actions/mantras/thoughts/affirmations/ in order to bring back the images and feelings associated with this new emerging pathway and strengthen it. Ritual merges “behaviors with ideas” through rhythm and meaning connecting movement with a new belief. Ritual helps us become the new myth. Transformation occurs.
We are beautifully made. How hopeful. How powerful. When I share this information with clients, their eyes light up, they get quietly intent, they begin see the possibilities for themselves as REAL.
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@Maria…I’m reading these posts in reflection as I complete this section of our work. I really enjoyed your post. I noticed a flow with both of your practice clients (new and established). There was an obvious foundation and structure to the process you described. The brillant part of the post, to me, was your masterful ability to hand craft a unique experience for each client. It was THEIR session. It seemed that you had a nice balance of reflection (their communication) and going with your gut as a guide to bring them into powerful integration. How did confidence play a role with each of these clients? If it wasn’t present in these sessions…how would it have made a difference for the client?
Love,
R
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@David…thank you for your post about your practice client and experience. I always get so much from your entries and appreciate how well you tie in the books and readings into your posts and coaching process. Marvelous! I do have a question about letting go of expectations. I noticed that AH-HA moment in your story…when you were humbled and understood/stand the difference, letting go of the expectations, makes for you and the client. Has this continued to show up with your clients? How about in your life? How we do anything is how we do everything…and I’m noticing a new freedom around letting go…specifically about coaching and guiding. The result has been more freedom in the conversation…and a deeper listening due to the additional “space” available (that used to be filled up with expectations). Is your practice client STILL connecting with nature? What does your follow up process look like?
Love,
R
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@Deanna…thank you for taking us into your coaching world. I found your post interesting and I love how you have brought science into your coaching! I really grabbed onto your awareness of yourself and how the Alpha waves mindset and how YOUR body is feeling impacts your client. Being responsible for our mind set heading into a session is always gold. I’m going to focus on that this week thanks to you! Haha
Rollin
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A little background about my practice client. He is an older gentlemen (64-75), currently living out of state in KS. We have rapport, trust, and a deep understanding of one another. He is a retired financial planner and a brilliant man. He was raised in an abusive environment and his father was an alcoholic. Behind closed doors…he struggles with unprocessed trauma (he said) and has recently began to share about his experiences. He opened up and shared a couple of personal experiences with a small group of people. I was a part of that group. In my mind (while he was sharing)…I wasn’t trying to fix him…I noticed that I just listened to him. I was aware of his bravery and the courage it took to share his personal experiences about his childhood. In “Self Soul Spirit” by Roger Strachan, it points to the uniqueness of each person, “Since each person is unique, human functioning is an entity unto itself. Perceptions, awareness, and knowledge determine an individual’s view of the world.” I heard his unique view while he was sharing these raw secrets. Looking back, the reading in chapter 1 from “How You Change” really showed up here. The process of how human’s change showed up here. I can’t imagine how long he contemplated about these experiences before he chose to share with us. His public share fell right into the preparation stage. He wasn’t sure what to do next about how he felt, but he knew that this psychological discomfort didn’t work for him anymore. Change can take time or move quickly and I noticed that I didn’t bring pressure to any of our conversations. I was allowing him to move through the stages of change (or not) at his own pace. I was guiding and he was leading the conversations already. Action was the inevitable next step for him. He said “I can’t feel anymore, my son is right in front of me hurting and I can’t feel his hurt. That is what is going on”.
He took action and reached out to me. For months prior, I had been sharing with friends and colleagues about my wilderness experiences and recent books I’ve been reading. My future practice client connected with me after a group zoom call (a week or so after his “share”). This is the moment I had a break through around how I establish coaching agreements. For him, it was his big transition to the action stage. I always pictured, me going out in the world and “finding” clients. This coaching agreement was created, this time, through attraction. He (practice client) thought that my recent wilderness adventures might somehow help him out and apply to what he was struggling with. I agreed with humble caution. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I could help, but I was open to trying what we had recently been taught at the Starhouse.
We spoke briefly and set a day and time to connect and walk through his intake form together. I was curious about what was going on for him (concerns, issue/s etc) and I wanted to learn as much as possible prior to our sessions starting. I could sense that he really appreciated me slowing down to learn and ask questions. This experience matched what I read in “Emotional Risk Management” by Katie Asmus and Kendal McDevitt about creating safety when working with those who have experienced trauma…”Be proactive-front load and give all necessary and appropriate information (do not withhold information unnecessarily-information is POWER”. This front loading of information set the stage for a face to face safe container.
After working through timing and logistical challenges, we met in person for our first of three sessions. Nature played an important role in each session. A tree grabbed his attention in the beginning of one of the sessions and we approached slowly…asking permission from the tree before we touched it. The conversation moved quickly to the detail that he noticed on the tree as we got closer and closer. I did not intend to be up and moving around this quickly in the session but it flowed…so I went with it. He noticed how amazing and captivating the tree was from the parking lot, but how damaged it was…the closer we got. He had never noticed the damage before (precontemplation playing out again). The tree became a perfect reflection of him. We made several references to the scars of the tree, the ants at work and the nest built safely toward the top. Each reference carried significant meaning for him. He really started to see his scars and intimate life details as a valuable part of who he is today. He started to see his unique beauty. As he began to “name it”…the trauma had positive movement towards healing. During distracted parts of the session…I could’ve used an exercise to shepard attention back to the session. The focus of the session was all about dropping into the body and feeling…intentionally. I thought that a short walk and getting aware of the bottom of the feet…would be a great exploration here (now that I have that tool in my tool belt). His integration from our session was a book reading and a few behavioral responsibilities. We are still working together to this day and he recently called…crying. He discovered, that love was cut off from him by his Dad growing up and that he was cutting off the love flowing from him to his son. He chose to be the one to break the cycle. What I’m really noticing and taking away…is that it is not about me. When I listen and create safe spaces for communication to happen…miracles occur. Be more and do less. -
Rollin, What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing this session. Your compassion, patience, and “being” with your client shines through. What a tremendous moment for him to see more clearly what was happening in his life. Nature offers such healing both through metaphor and by being immersed in nature and its so appartent in the experience that you described:”He really started to see his scars and intimate life details as a valuable part of who he is today. He started to see his unique beauty. As he began to “name it”…the trauma had positive movement towards healing.” You were able to create a safe container for him to go deeper into himself. What would you say was your biggest take-away from this experience? What was your internal state like during your session with him?
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Summary Post:
Brain & Change 1 made a huge impact on my coaching sessions and my personal life. I realize that I had been conditioned to focus on the negative, or the things that I don’t want, for a large part of my past. I don’t think this is particular to me; I think this is very common for people in our society. Brain & Change 1 made me realize that focusing on the things I don’t want is not actually helpful. It’s importance to recognize what isn’t working, but it’s equally (if not more) important to focus on the things we do want, and how we need to be in order to get our want. Brain & Change 1 made me truly realize the power I hold to create my future. This module also inspired me to look more into Joe Dispenza’s work on visualizations and intention. I began practicing his mediations on cultivating gratitude in the body, then feeling gratitude for the thing I want, as if it’s happening in the moment. This practice has proven to work for me, and I’m excited to bring it to my clients. I have also practiced embodying my deeper need in my ecstatic dance practice, which has also proven to be extremely powerful. This work is truly inspiring, and I’m so grateful to continue applying it to my life and my client’s lives.