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Partswork 2 (May 2020) Discussion Forum
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I am sitting here pondering the question how Parts Work fits into nature connected coaching and it dawns on me: Parts are the very nature of our internal system. From day one (or so it seems) Michael discussed with us how nature does not just refer to just the green outside world, but can be whatever environment we find ourselves in or even find within us. Parts Work is very much nature connection in self awareness and self acceptance. Parts Works is the tool for discovery of the nature of who we are.
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Well said Sheri. We are nature! This had me thinking “it’s in my/his/her nature to ….” With this it brings to my mind more of the positivity of my parts and then looking at my introjects it definitely looked much clearer that those are not parts of me, or in my nature.
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Summary post–
Doing my own Partswork has helped me know more about myself, but also helps explain it to clients better, to understand it better and to be more comfortable using it as a tool in a NCC session. Knowing and exploring my introjects as well has been very eye opening in itself too. Seeing how a few of my parts have healed, been repurposed or renamed since those first sticky notes at the Starhouse is pretty amazing. Sheri told me last week that you can also change the size of the sticky notes on the jamboard and making the introjects smaller and some parts bigger was also very healing. I think my favourite part of partswork is that calmness and healing and integration as the parts settle near the end of the session. It really is like a puzzle with the parts falling into and finding their place in the system. I am sure I will never think or hear someone say “part of me…” the same way again without wondering which part lol -
Wow, amazing posts so far and juicy to read! Reading these gets me jazzed even more about partswork and how powerful it is for both us and for our clients. One of the themes that I am hearing in your posts is some doubt about how to explain this tool and whether or not clients will understand it. While I totally understand, I just want to reflect that each one of us has “gotten” it, and has been able to work with it at least to some extent. I remember Michael saying partswork is an intuitive and natural process. On some level we know we are made up of parts, as we say “A part of me this… and a part of me that…”. However, in our culture, we like to fit everything into one streamlined identity. Introducing the concept of multiplicity (both/and) can be very powerful.
I have found it helpful to create a little handout that helps explain partswork. Just creating it was helpful for me to find the words I wanted to use to explain it, which then helped me in talking about it with clients. Perhaps writing your own intro could be helpful in creating your own explanation, or practicing with each other on introducing this to clients.
It is wonderful to hear of all of your incredible sessions from this module!! Keep it up!!
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SUMMARY: My takeaway from this Parts Work 2 module is based in self-awareness. I see parts work as an out of the box free-form tool (Gestalt!) that guides us, ourselves and our clients, into the ability to dig deeper into who we are and even some of the why if they desire to look there too. A tool we are empowered through, where we can enter into discussion with our parts to uncover who we are in the present, study the why to how we became who we are, and guide our future self into who we desire to become. The study of why or how we got to where we are can show us patterns for change.
Are you, or your client, struggling with the idea of Parts Work? Explore if there is a hurdle around the need to do it right or be right. I have found the lack of guidelines in creating the list difficult as I want to get it “right.” Reassure them, or yourself, that there is no right or wrong as it is this same lack of guidelines that provides the freedom to be unique, unique to you and only you know your truth. Kim also brought up in our ToolBox discussion on Parts Work that a client struggled around identifying or accepting “Soul” and seemed to have discomfort with using that term. I’ve been pondering on that since the call. I feel the need to be very simple and open when guiding others in using Parts Work so it is not limiting or defining for them. What sets Parts Work apart from other personality typing (or similar concepts) is that others tend to put labels, or boxes, for individuals to fit themselves into. They are dictating who we are. Parts Work gives a freedom to identify who you are uniquely. That even goes for the Soul, someone’s perception of this term may change as a person grows and develops especially on their spiritual journey. The concept that Michael even brings forth with using the term “CEO of the Board” or another leadership term to guide their parts being the the leader in essence of the system of themselves so that there’s a comfort and an embracing of Parts Work as a whole as a tool to become more self-aware, self-confident.
Patience, curiosity, and openness to what comes up during the process of Parts Work is key. The importance of discovery and familiarization of our parts may be even more important than the conversations we can have between the Parts once we identify them. I am realizing that this process is truly helping me uncover who I am. The insight I am gaining from this curiosity and work digging into my Parts identification is leading to great self-awareness.
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Mel – so funny you mentioned the self-critical part. I think that’s my logical part simply stating the facts of observation. One part that serves me well! And yes, introjects are so incredibly important as well!
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Summary Post:
What I have gathered from my experience and reading others is two simple things:
1. Partswork is super intriguing and powerful
2. Partswork is super hard to explainThat being said, I am determined to figure out a way to explain it so we can get over that hump of misunderstanding and into the magic!
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INITIAL POST: establish reviewing my own mandala as part of my own personal routine – both as I am starting my day and also when I begin to prepare for interactions whether they be business meetings, general work outings, board meetings, etc. – the more attuned I find myself in general to not only those around me, but also to myself. As a result, I have a focused ear when both listening to my practice client as well as when I offer up feedback (if requested or willing to be received) to my practice client. Occasionally, I can basically sense a shift in my own baseline, or maybe the baseline of the session and my contribution to it, and by being curious myself about whether or not I have begun to shift into another part in the middle of a session, I can maintain integrity and authenticity with my practice client. The experience has arisen on only a few occasions; however, when it has (and when I am actually aware that it has) I can model that awareness and speak to my client in a way that displays some clear communication around the practice of enfolding Partswork into our sessions. I have yet to have a session with a client since beginning our intensives on this topic, where I do not hear it mentioned at least once that “part of me feels like _____…”
It is so valuable to allow that to come up organically in my experience so far and to highlight the languaging around the client’s own experience through an accurate reflection. Allows for a “This is something that most of us do quite regularly. I’m curious if you would like to establish some routine and practice around this type of self-reflection with a little more intentionality around it…” It has typically resulted in willingness as well as some foundational confidence in knowing that this is something that is not as new as they may have initially assumed.
I think that it would be a wonderful exercise to explore what sensations of connection with the environment different parts might have over the course of a long-term coaching contract. It would greatly inform me as the coach during a session as well as provide some dynamic meaning making for my client as we explored shining a light on not only how his/her/their own demeanor shifts when stepping into a new part, but also how that impacts the way the view and interact with the world. -
SUMMARY: I was not even aware of hearing the concept of an interject when we were first introduced to partswork at star house. I know it wasn’t part of that introduction section; however, it was SUCH a nuanced layer to this intensives deeper-dive that it has added such awareness to how I walk through the day. The impact of that has resulted in a boosted commitment to reviewing my own mandala and taking snapshots throughout my day. All of this greatly supports my ability as a coach to play around in Partswork. In reading through these posts and the ensuing discussion, it is reminding me of my own level of comfort with the fundamentals of Partswork and more so with my willingness to lean in to my own self-discovery using partswork as a lens. The impact of one of our practice sessions during the intensive when Michael had taken the wheel to help me suss out an interject and what the h#ll it was doing to my snapshot and perspective was such a transformative experience that it has inspired me to rekindle my efforts and commitment to all the elements of the toolbox we have been introduced to. Some may fit well with where I’m at at any given time, some may not; however, by cultivating some consistency with practicing them myself, I can be more confident and responsible in my facilitation of these practices with my clients.
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Initial Post PartsWork 2
PartsWork and Brain n Change are my two favorite tools in coaching. Partswork has proven to be the most challenging. At least to offer it as it was taught to us. My ability to explain what it is to others has improved tremendously. But to follow up in a structured manner seems to create more confusion. I am using it regularly with the same client I wrote of in Partswork 1. I thought I would create clarification by showing her how to create the mandala. It was then that she told me when she is given very specific projects she tends to turn the other way and not follow through. Her shared awareness of this was very helpful for me. I had noticed this happening and had taken it personally thinking it stemmed from my lack of skills as a coach. I suddenly had a new perspective of myself and gave myself permission to take a whole new approach. And that is what I did with Partswork. She now has a much better understanding of Partswork and finds it very useful in dealing with her day to day challenges as well as the really big challenges she is currently facing.
My approach might be considered inside out. Rather than use a Mandala chart we use the concepts mentally and verbally. In fact I would say I have combined aspects of Dispenza’s old personality/new personality shift with the mandala concept. When I see my client and she tells me her current challenges I often begin by asking her who is talking. Once she tells me, I ask if this part is there to help the system (or my client). If she says yes, we explore how. If she says no I ask my client if there is someone better able to help out in this situation. In this way she has learned how to manage the parts for her own benefit. Sometimes when we are looking and feeling into the parts while walking in the woods I will ask my client to do a little meditation. Through the use of breath, and expanding into the space around her, she is able to move into the Eternal now and find her soul self. Once in this place of quiet she can more objectively return to her parts. This allows her to objectively choose the part that best suit the moment and bring that part or parts to the forefront. She is doing this for herself more and more.
Doing this has helped her to know and become more familiar with her different parts and to recognize the difference between the interjects and her parts. Many of what she formerly knew to be her childhood parts were actually the interejected voices of her parents and others. They have been very difficult to deal with as they are tethered into her nervous system. As she is starting to recognize this concept along with neuroplasticity, she is more hopeful and aware of the possibility of change. She is slowly feeling and becoming less victimized by her life.
Most recently her husband pushed her to the ground and she called the police. What followed was a whirlwind of conflict, fear and confusion as she tried to make sense of what happened, others reactions, including her son and save face all at the same time. As she told me what was happening in her world and inside of her I was impressed and astonished at how well she was handling all the pieces that came into play due to the circumstances. I asked her who (what part) was in charge. Without much hesitation she said the CEO. This part was new to me. After questioning we discovered this part was previously unnamed and not well known but still very firmly positioned in her. I asked her the role of this part and how it served my client. She innately understood that it was there to take charge, protect her and keep things organized. It wasn’t a physical protector. It was there to protect her psyche and keep her from doubting herself when many people around her questioned her actions.
As time went on and talk of divorce turned into talk of separation, living in separate homes but not divorcing for practical and caring reasons I asked her again who was in charge. This time she was aware that while the CEO was very much in charge party-girl was working to keep everyone happy and to try to prevent her husband from being hurt. They were working together for the good of the whole.
As all this was happening she was very aware of the old patterns that wanted to slip into manic ways and let the fear take over. She was also aware of the interjects of the little child whose parents had her feeling unwanted and not worthwhile. I’ve asked her and she asks herself, who she needs to help her cope. Her artist is important. Giving herself the time to do her beading is very important for her inner stillness. And being a teacher, both a part and a job, connects her with young children which brings her joy and feeds her soul.
We have discussed her soul in relation to partswork. Through being out in nature (nature lover) and meditating she is getting better at being able to quickly access the soul but it is still not as easily accessible as many of her other parts. She knows it as a deep place inside her that holds her deepest values and core self. She also recognizes that life challenges sometimes bury it…that’s often when she contacts me.
Working with this client has made me very aware that partswork can have a daily role in one’s life and one’s psyche without having to have a formalized structure of a physical mandala. It can become part of the flow of living and coping. My client more frequently remembers to tune into her parts, ask herself who is at the helm and determine who can best serve her in any given moment. Partswork is becoming part of the integrated wholeness of her approach to life and has been a very self-empowering tool. I find myself using it more as a conversational tool in working with others. It has actually created a lot of aha, “that makes sense”, moments for my clients, providing glimpses of possibility. And in my own life I use it to help me gain deeper understanding of my psyche which helps me to process my own life events.
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Summary Post Partswork 2
After reading through the posts I wondered which part of me was doing the processing and writing of my own summary post. Of course the obedient self (introject? Hmm) was there, but more at the forefront was the learner, the lifelong learner that just loves to take in this stuff. It then became obvious that several parts work together, probably most or all of the time, to accomplish goals, learn and generally experience and live life. ..I know that is what the mandala is showing. But while all the parts were there in a hierarchical fashion I had been more focused on the singularity of a part in a given moment or situation. Focusing on a dominant part helps us to get to know ourselves on a deeper level. My parts talk to each other all the time, sometimes out loud!!! For me this is very much how I ascertain the levels of awareness in Mindsight. Mindsight, aware of the awareness, is very much by parts being in connection with each other with the objective observer /the soul being the core listener.
It also feels like this notion of parts and internal family systems has a direct correlation to world peace, or lack thereof. For a long time I have felt, if we can’t get along with ourselves how can we get along in our family or community and how are we ever going to get along in the world. Getting along does not mean to agree, it means to be able to have a civil conversation and offer acceptance of the differences. Sometimes the parts need to listen and be accepting of each other to move forward as a whole!
I agreed when Sheri pointed out that our parts are an extension of nature, within us and is “a tool for discovery of the nature of who we are”. Having come across the same obstacle as Taylor, the concept of soul can be problematic”, I am wondering if there is a way to use the concept of nature instead. It amazes me the feelings we all share and yet the challenges we face in communicating them as we attempt to assign labels. Words are labels. My understanding is most people have experienced God/spirit in some form, even atheists. Maybe Melody and Nadine are on to something when they talk of using what we are drawn to in nature to represent the different parts of themselves. We have feelings and emotions that come into play as we give attention to what call to us in nature. Perhaps this is a way to bypass the labels or provide us clarity in the words we do choose.
It was interesting to read Kim’s take on the use of Partswork to help identify the causality of disturbance within her clients. Again, I think this fits in perfectly with the concept of Mindsight. For myself I also use it to find the causality of joy so I can bring more of that into my life. But I do think disturbance facilitates the recognition of parts so that the awareness arises organically, as Matt stated. And it does offer us an entrance point to offering Partswork in a way that flows and makes sense.
My biggest takeaway was the reminder that parts work is part of nature and can be represented as such and easily integrated both in a building or outside because wherever we are it is within. This feels like an important thing to remember and to incorporate into coaching.
Another big take away was the correct spelling of interject. Thank you Melody for making me aware that it’s introject!!!
