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PW2 Jan2021 Discussion Forum
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Summary Post
Main Takeaways:
– I see Partswork as a tool primarily used for facilitating deep internal transformation. Its purpose is to generate awareness and understanding of one’s internal wilderness, which is often the first step needed in generating movement forward and integrating new ways of being.
– I feel Partswork is most efficiently used with clients who have a particular foundation in place – a decent sense of self understanding and awareness and certain psychological resources (non-judgement, self-compassion, resilience), and an understanding of coaching as well as a relationship with me already. Certainly these things don’t have to necessarily be solidly in place, but I would find it very challenging to do Partswork with someone who doesn’t because it’s a methodology that’s very draining for me as the coach. It’s certainly not something that I would start off using with a brand new client.
– The tracking part of Partswork is one of the most valuable and practical takeaways I have. Tracking language and when a client might be in different parts really helps me to be more in tune with the client. They don’t necessarily need to be aware of it, but when I am then I’m able to ask some powerful questions designed to bring awareness to what I’ve noticed within the client.
– The Soul, being a critical part of Partswork, is something that a person needs to be able to access. If they can’t, I can see Partswork being very difficult. At the same time, Partswork may be a great way for them to practice accessing the Soul and becoming more comfortable with sitting in that space. In this way I see Partswork as a path towards developing authenticity and truth for a client which I feel is a major goal in coaching. It’s a tool that brings a person more in alignment with their own truth.
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TAKE AWAYS.
Some main take aways with from this discussion are:
As a coach, taking a model, understanding it, and have the ability to frame it into our own words and expression in the way we use the model. The more I as a coach understanding what I am offering or working with will support me offering a stronger coaching presence. Having a clear explanation of Partswork for the client to understand is important as you move forward together with the work. Have a clear sense of the role of Soul is necessary.
Incorporating a client’s strengths, remember to allow the client to chose where he/she would like to begin in relation to the parts that have come up for them. The ability to offer resource during a session, in order to always know there is a “safe” “grounded” space for the client to return to if he/she becomes lost or feels a bit unstable with a part. This is also important for the couch. There is always space to pause, breath, access where the session is in the moment.
Parts work can be used a tool moving a client forward or a stand alone practice.
Knowing if a client has outside resources, (i.e. Therapist, other programs they are in like David’s client in the 12 step program). This also a reminder How important boundaries are and to keep clear boundary with clients and remember my role as a coach. It can be easier as trust is build that a client creates attachments with a coach that are not supportive to growth.
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Summary Post:
Thank you all for the great conversation and insights on this topic! One big take away for me personally, as I reflect back on the intensive was the exercise we did to name the parts of the brain that our parts reside in. This really deepened my understanding of my parts and opened up some new doorways for interacting with them. When I think about this from a client perspective, this might be a nice additional touch to naming and understanding their parts. Parts that are within the limbic area of the brain will be more susceptible to emotions and unconscious patterns. These could be the source of many topics clients bring to sessions.Another take away for me is the importance of self-facilitating partswork if I plan to do any work with clients using this tool. The more practice I get with dropping into my own parts and navigating from soul to part/part to soul, the better I will be at doing that with clients. I have found facilitation with practice clients a little bit clunky going into different parts during the conversation. I also find it very beneficial to have and use the client’s mandala during a session to fully understand the snapshot of where they are and the parts that are involved.
Understanding interjects more in the intensive has helped me to identify not only my own but interjects within others more definitively. There is a clear sense that that voice doesn’t belong. It’s coming from somewhere outside the system. What a valuable thing to be able to identify!
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Summary Post:
I continue to be fascinated by partswork and agree with so much of what has been said in this discussion. To me, partswork is an important pathway for radical self-acceptance and self-compassion. Sometimes I feel that my “hammer” is radical self-compassion and everyone’s “nails” are lack of self-acceptance and self-love. It may be a bit of violent metaphor but I feel like that’s the point I always seem to want to drive home. I know how important radical self-acceptance has been for me on my path to continued growth to Wholeness. It’s a long-term process. When I look at someone, all I see are their gifts and beauty. Partswork offers a way for clients to discover for themselves their own strenth, resiliency, beauty, treasure, and gifts that may be hidden in the shadows of self-rejection, self-doubt and self-criticism. These inner critics or “loyal soldiers” loom so large in our life. When we hold ourselves with compassion loving our wounded and protective parts, we expand beyond our perceived capacity and in so doing, we create space for the woundedness of others. Our Souls are identified, retrieved, felt, and nurtured. Our Soul becomes the new lens through which we see all of our Selves, others, and all the “more than human” entities in our greater community. It seems that the practice of dropping into Soul is a lost art and our society/culture interjects messages within us that do nothing but confirm our unworthiness, our lack of belonging, our fears, and our mistrust. We forget that we are “beloved” and fully belong to the interconnected Universe of Being.
Henri Nouwen, a mystic, writes Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved.” Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.
I’m excited to continue to explore my own parts and also as they relate to the 4 Shields. Bill Plotkin’s book, “Wild Mind” offers a “map of human nature” that layers the energies of directions, the seasons, archetypes, and partswork. It’s so cool. I am very drawn to this model and excited to explore what will come up as I travel down that road.
I think this toolbox has helped me identify that what I most want to do is to support someone’s transformational journey into radical self-Love through connection with the created world. As radical self-Love, we initiate our own concentric circles that radiate out from within us as we allow for the concentric circles of Love emanating from Nature to touch us too.
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I find that there are as many ways to facilitate partswork as there are clients who participate in partswork. some folks aren’t willing to “embody” a part, yet are able to acknowledge a couple of different parts and relate to them via a “third party” awareness that isn’t Soul. Others only want to dialogue with their parts privately in journals, and report back what they’ve discovered. When I first began facilitating partswork, I adhered to the “directive” model Michael taught us. While I still think that that method is highly productive and insightful, I’ve also found that by mixing in the “trusting the client to know what they need” concept, the awareness and insight that a more structured partswork practice offers can still be gained. I think that this is ultimately something Michael will support, as he has encouraged us to explore how we might use partswork in nature and other creative ways.
A huge part of what I love about partswork is the radical self compassion and understanding that is coupled with integration and healing/maturation of each part. I feel that this is a universal model that can be applied to family, community, and ultimately could be (but likely will never be) applied to larger scale government. Aside from healing or maturing a part, I believe that the authentic experience of loving and caring for each of our parts is the societal medicine that this work offers.
David and Gina. I agree that in order to truly facilitate something for someone else, we need to be well versed in the practice ourselves.
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Hey James, I’m curious how your less directive approach to Partswork has worked for you. I find Partswork to be extremely confusing for clients unless they are clearly guided and/or very familiar with the practice already.
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Initial Post:
I love Partswork, and the Partswork 2 module was inspiring and challenging. I feel like I have learned most about how to facilitate Partswork by being guided by my coach (Mandy, our previous mentor at EBI). In having been guided through Partswork so many times, I feel confident in guiding others.
I utilize Partswork in my sessions all the time, especially when client’s speak about an inner conflict. To me, that is an indicator that two parts are not integrated. Recently, I worked with a practice client in a Partswork session on two parts that were in conflict. We started in soul, then moved to one part, back to soul, then the second part, then back to soul. The second time we came back to soul, she expressed that she was confused by what “soul” meant. I realized that our Partswork session was not going to be effective or helpful unless she clearly embodied and understood what it meant to be in soul. I helped her connect with soul, then continued with the Partswork practice, but I still don’t think she fully understood what it meant to be in soul. If I were to go back to the session, I probably wouldn’t continue the Partswork exercise. Instead, I would have focused on Soul. This session showed me the importance of helping clients establish a strong connection with soul before going into Partswork. This may even take several sessions.
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Summary:
I see Partswork as a powerful tool, and I also realize that it must be practiced by us guides in order for us to use it properly. In other words, as guides, we must have practice of doing Partswork on ourselves before doing it on others. I really appreciate the embodiment aspect to the Partswork that we learn at EBI. I love to incorporate Partswork into my dance practice. As a guide for others, I realize that there is a lot more to learn about Partswork, and I look forward to exploring it more!
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PARTSWORK 2 INITIAL- I recently had a client express interest in bringing partswork into our coaching sessions. We haven’t held a true partswork session yet, but I will speak to how we are starting and how I am supporting her because the situation is a bit unique. This is the same client I wrote about for long-term coaching. Her situation has become such that she is in urgent need of leaving her job, while also being in the middle of a long-term plan to start her own business. We are pivoting in our work to address this urgent hurdle of the hostile work environment to get her into a safer situation, and then will return to our long-term goal of discovering what she wants to create for a business and then how to make it happen.
My client is not spiritual, so I had to frame the partswork model in a way that didn’t get into spirit much. She does believe that we are all connected and she feels intuition, so I’m confident that this will still be powerful for her. Our current situation is that she needs out of her current work environment ASAP and I am only around for another week and a half before a 2 week wilderness immersion trip. I understand her urgency and also recognize my inability to be present with her. To resolve this, we had a lengthy discussion about partswork. I followed up with a summary email, breaking down how we to get started. Her homework is to start identifying her parts. As we know, this is an ongoing process, and I believe her heightened emotional state might make this a bit more challenging. I emphasized that the list doesn’t have to be perfect and that it will evolve over time. I also emphasized that she doesn’t need to identify all the parts yet- this too will show itself over time. I also gave examples about what are parts and what are not parts. Her other assignment was to create a jamboard for us to use in our sessions.
Since I only have one session with the client before I leave, we aren’t going to dig into the parts yet. I am going to introduce the mandala activity so she can practice watching for activated parts, and if nothing else, practice intention setting for how she wants the energy to flow through her system. Part of our discussion was around if we can do this work or if she should work with a therapist instead. We came to an agreement on working together and she knows that if it pushes the bounds of my training I will recommend we work with a therapist as well. Though perhaps unconventional, I think this is a wise approach so she can become a little more comfortable with her parts, do something to make progress while I am away, and without opening her up in ways that may bring up bigger issues. The last thing I want to do is have a significant issue arise and then not be around for 2-3 weeks to support her in her process.
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PW2 SUMMARY- My biggest takeaways from this module are:
The effect of self-care and grounding on the process of partswork and my curiosities around watching how these affect my clients’ parts
Partswork is deep inner transformational work, including radical acceptance and self-compassion. I think this sums up why I am so drawn to partswork. It is the exact goal of my clients. My ideal clients are people who have lost connection to themselves or can’t trust themselves due to various, usually traumatic, life experiences. From the moment I learned about partswork, I knew intuitively that this would be powerful stuff for them. This conversation allowed me to get some clarity and verbage around why I have felt that from the start.
The importance of using the tools that resonate with our coaching styles, as well as what is comfortable for our client.
Something I didn’t share in my other posts that I wanted to comment on here for future use and in case it is helpful for others in their use of partswork… I’ve now gone through two modules of partswork and the partswork deep dive. Through all of that I struggled to connect with my inner child part. After doing some trauma work, I had a huge lightbulb moment. I couldn’t connect to my inner child because I had a very loud inner critic. I didn’t have the self-compassionate voice yet, so the inner child did not feel safe to reveal herself. Once I worked on the inner critic and built up my compassionate voice, I was able to connect with my inner child. This may be helpful to keep in mind if we have clients who can’t connect with their inner child, especially if we suspect childhood trauma.
